Writes Bialik in Tablet,

The WNTW producers asked if I have any clothing restrictions. Deep breath. "I don't wear pants," I told them. "I prefer skirts." You see, I am what I guess you'd call a Conservadox Jew. I started embracing certain aspects of Jewish modesty, or tzniut, before my second son was born, and although I know many Orthodox women who don't observe tzniut, the boundaries and framework of privacy it provides appealed to me.

Although Bialik isn't that strict - she doesn't, for instance, refuse to wear 3/4 sleeves - her demands do put a bit of a kink in WNTW's style. It's a smart, well-written piece, but there are two kind of hilarous parts. I think - but am not positive - that the following is deliberately tongue-in-cheek.

Growing up, I lived a pretty normal life; I had my own prime-time network TV show from the ages of 14 to 19, which meant my physical appearance and clothing choices were dissected on a weekly basis in gossip magazines and on television.

But this, I'm sure, isn't: "During the days of the sheva brachot, the seven traditional feasts celebrated in the days after the chuppah ceremony, I tentatively covered my head with scarves and crocheted hats." Tentatively? Blossom lived in hats! Hell, she made them a thing! I had a sunflower hat!

Anyway, one has to wonder if WNTW was the only way she could smarten up her act; she's not the first actor, after all, who's used it as an optimistic bit of new-push PR. But hell, we'd do the show if it meant we could hang out with Clinton and Stacey! And we wouldn't even give them any problems about wearing the satin reveal dress, or the A-line skirt, or the nipped-in jacket that shows off the waist and the girls! Indeed, it's always seemed a bit irrational for those who knowingly agree to the makeovers - as opposed to those intransigent types humiliated into it by secret footage - to give the team a lot of problems. But in the case of religious objections? It doesn't seem like anything the dynamic duo couldn't surmount.

So, how'd it go? Well:

I got wonderful new clothes, jewelry, and vegan shoes (one of my other preferences). When we filmed me revealing the final outfits they picked, I gently pointed out that skirts above the knee are not something I'd wear, and that I wouldn't wear sleeveless shirts or dresses without something to cover my arms once I left the set. When the show aired, I saw that my qualifications and explanations did not survive the cutting room...I don't wish to claim that there is an "immodest agenda" on WNTW. It's a show for the average American, who is most likely not Jewish, and if she is Jewish, she's most likely not observant. In spite of the fact that the hosts kept telling me that I needed to be "sexy" and not "hide" in my clothing, I loved being a part of the show. They were right to encourage me to wear clothing that was my size, and to emphasize my figure where it needed emphasizing. But sexy doesn't necessarily mean scantily-clad.

The final twist is that when Bialik does go in for a part, it's that of a Hasid. So it's hard to say who wins the battle of wills. But our money is usually on Stacey and Clinton.

Wardrobe! [Tablet]
What Not to Wear - Season Premiere Sneak Peek [YouTube]
Blossom's Mayim Bialik: I Needed a Makeover! [People]
Related: Jezebel Faceoff: Blossom Russo Vs. Clarissa Darling

• Lindsay Lohan turns 23 tomorrow, but she's allegedly already been paid $70,000 by the MGM Grand for hosting an all-day "pre-celebration" in Las Vegas last Saturday.

Even though LL changed bathing suits five times and promoted her Sevin Nyne tanning product, a source says: "None of her really close friends were there" and LL just did it for the cash. [Page Six]

• Meghan McCain thinks Hilary Duff would be a great choice to play her in a movie: "I think she's really hot - hotter than me - but I'd still want her to play me." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Mariah Carey was supposedly dressed like Eminem for her "Obsessed" video, she looks more like that dude from Linkin Park, no? [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum: Expecting a girl? There were pink cupcakes at her baby shower! [Gatecrasher]
• "A close Michael Jackson confidant tells The Daily Beast's Gerald Posner he believes the star triggered his death with a foolhardy plan to void a concert commitment: mixing pills to prompt a minor hospital visit." "Like a child who doesn't want to go to school, Michael thought he could get away from his obligations if he had a 'note from the doctor.'" [The Daily Beast]
• A registered nurse named Cherilyn Lee has stated that Michael Jackson was an insomniac who begged for strong sedative drugs to induce sleep. [AP, AP]
• TMZ says: "We're told the drug Propofol was discovered at the [Jackson] residence. The drug is used to put people under anesthesia before surgery. It is an extremely powerful drug that is only available to medical personnel. As one source said, 'There is no conceivable way this drug can be properly prescribed for home use.'" [TMZ]
• If Neverland becomes a memorial site, don't go looking for Michael Jackson's animals — they won't be coming back. [TMZ]
• The man who kept Neverland from being auctioned says: "We must be prepared for the fact that visitors and fans will come, with or without permission or an invitation." [Yahoo via E!]
• A concrete truck arrived at Neverland yesterday. Preparations for the memorial? [TMZ]
• "Ukrainians Want Village Named After Michael Jackson." [Breitbart]
• "There is nobody who knew Michael like I did… For instance, people always think of him as talking in that high, soft voice, but he didn't really speak like that - it was a facade. Still to this day I am not sure why he did it. The Michael I knew talked like a real man, acted like a real man and shook a hand like a real man." — David Gest, an authority on manliness. [The Sun]
• Here, Quincy Jones talks about the music he and Michael Jackson made together. [WSJ]
• In his last "interview," — which seems to be just chatter from the Staples center — Michael Jackson was rehearsing and said: "This is where I belong. I am so excited. We need a bit more work on a few more songs but we're so nearly there. This is what it's all about. Me being on stage." [Mirror]
• The Iowa State Fair is planning a butter sculpture of Michael Jackson. [MSNBC]
• Video. From Dolly Parton. Mourning Michael Jackson, whom she says had "the heart of an angel." [EW]
• "Joe Jackson Still Has Power To Upset Family" Duh. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Photographer Kevin Mazur took pictures of Michael Jackson's rehearsal at the Staples Center. He says: "Michael was physically fit and performing the same way that I photographed him through the years. You can look at the photos. I documented it, I was there." He says he was shocked to find out Jackson had died a few days later, because: "He was full of energy and full of life."[BBC News]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but the Michael Jackson shot OK! is using on their cover this week is being called "ghoulish" and a "disgrace." [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson's will: Filed today. [TMZ]
• 200 friends, colleagues and family members — including jailed son Redmond O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal, Alana Stewart, Lee Majors, Ernie Hudson, Cheryl Tiegs, Jackie Collins, Joan Collins, Gary Shandling, Marla Maples and hairstylist Jose Eber attended the funeral of Farrah Fawcett. [E!, CNN]
• Alana Stewart delivered a eulogy for Farrah Fawcett, saying:
  "Goodbye sweet girl… [Farrah] never felt sorry for herself during her illness ... she fought cancer furiously. She's the most beautiful angel in heaven. She always seemed so indestructible." [People]
• Forbes has released it's "Hollywood's Top-Earning Actresses List" and Angelina Jolie is number one, with poor lonely desperate single Jennifer Aniston as number 2. Meryl Streep is third. But! There's a gender pay gap! "All told, the top 10 actors earned $393 million, compared with $183 million for the top 10 actresses." [Forbes]
• "Sacha Baron Cohen Attempts To Appease Gay Community By Posing For Attitude Magazine." Nude, of course. [Daily Mail]
• Life & Style magazine asked Robert Pattinson's aunt if he should date Kristen Stewart. She replied: "I don't think it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen. How can he live his life with a fellow star, with their every move being watched just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?" Thank you. Very helpful. [Daily Express]
• Robert Pattinson was seen hanging out with a pack of guys and going un recognized by wearing a baseball cap. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle will not appear on Ugly Betty, even though that's what we heard. [ONTD]
• The Beckhams have their 10-year wedding anniversary coming up! David will whisk Victoria away on a "surprise" trip to Richard Branson's private island in the Caribbean. Although is it a surprise if it's in The Sun? [WWD]
• From a Q&A with True Blood's Anna Paquin: You and Stephen [Moyer] are in a relationship off-camera as well. The passion you have on the show is palpable — did it transition from on-screen to off-screen or vise-versa?: "We met at his screen test when they were doing, essentially, a chemistry read to make sure the Sookie they had cast was going to click with the Bill they wanted to cast, and shockingly enough we ended up liking each other. But, it kind of all happened at the same time — it's kind of hard to say which came first because when you click with someone and you have that sort of – vibe — that's just how we've always been around each other. Nothing's really changed except we live together now." Was your first kiss then on-screen or off-screen?: "Ha. I'm not telling you that." [Out]
• Usher's wife was surprised by the divorce filing and "had every reason to believe her marriage was intact." Uh-oh. [USA Today]
• Uh-oh, this item snarks on Stacy London's outfit. Not cool. [Page Six]
• Kerry Washington is looking for a "cheap" furnished apartment in Manhattan, which means $3,000 a month. Can it be done? [Page Six]
• Cute! Christina Applegate will play Drew Barrymore's big sister in Going The Distance, a rom com about a long-distance relationship — which also stars Drew's maybe-boyfriend Justin Long. [E!]
• A street corner in Queens, NYC will be named for Run-DMC. Slay all suckers who perpetrate and lay down law from state to state. [NY Times]
• "I wish to not talk unless we're doing the scene. I enjoy it that way. Johnny seemed happy to do it that way, too. So the answer is: No, we really didn't get to know each other better between each take. So I guess I'll have to wait and get to know Johnny Depp someday." — Christian Bale, on Public Enemies. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• "I prefer to walk away with the experience as opposed to walking away with the product… I like to portray a character, inhabit a character and build character, but I don't want to watch the end result necessarily, because it becomes about money then and I'd rather not think about that. My children have seen more films of mine than I have. They've seen all of them within reason - many more than I have. I have no plans to see them - any of them." — Johnny Depp. [BBC News]
• "It is deff. in my top 3 favorite books of all time! :) so disturbing but beautifully written." — Miley Cyrus, on Identical, in which twin sisters escape troubled lives — one by sex and drugs, the other by bingeing and cutting herself. [Page Six]
• "The script kept changing and evolving to the point where I was no longer appropriate for it. Cate's 10 years older than me, which is more suitable for the script. If they'd recast with Keira Knightley I'd have been heartbroken but they've gone for something different – and better in my opinion. If I had the choice between Cate Blanchett and me I'd go for Cate Blanchett." — Sienna Miller, on not being Maid Marian in Robin Hood. [Daily Express]

[Image via Lindsay Lohan's Twitter]

As Stacy and Clinton tear someone's closet apart, I sit on my couch and make a mental checklist of each item that goes into the trashcan. 90% of the trashed items are currently hanging in my closet. I have the fashion sense of a 15 year old girl...living in 1996. It's not that I don't want to be more fashionable; I just don't really know how. I can see pieces in stores that are fashionable and flattering, but when I get them home, I can't seem to put them together, and I end up going back to my standard uniform of a black t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. (Which, of course, is what I'm wearing right now.)

I can pull it together for special occasions, thanks to the help of my very fashionable friends, who seem to have been born with a sixth sense for these types of things. They can walk into a store, visualize and outfit, and put things together effortlessly. I walk into a store and either have a panic attack or come out of the dressing room looking like I got hit by a ticky-tacky tornado. Fashion is often so overwhelming and frustrating that I don't even bother. I'd rather stick to basic, classic things than do a trend poorly and look like an idiot—but at the same time, it's embarrassing at times to be nearly 30 years old and still unsure as to how to put an outfit together.

This is not to say I don't know and follow certain rules: no socks with sandals, no visible panty lines, no "mom jeans"; these are all things I can understand and abide by. But there are certain fashion no-nos that I'm never quite sure of. And one of those things is pantyhose. Is it okay to wear hose? Are nude hose always a fashion don't? Can you wear open-toed shoes with tights? Can you get away without wearing hose to work? The rules of nylons are a bit confusing for fashion-challenged people like myself. Apparently, I'm not alone.

"Should women bare their legs in the office?" asks Lauren Lipton of Forbes.com, bringing up a debate that has raged for many years: as the temperature rises, should women be expected to wear hose on their legs, or is it acceptable to walk around without anything covering one's legs? "As the weather heats up, so inevitably does the annual office leg debate," Lipton writes, "in which women grapple with dictates that can seem designed to keep us as sweaty, uncomfortable and — many say — dowdy as possible." I, of course, have no idea what the proper procedure here is, though the few times when I do wear a skirt to work in the summer, it tends to be a longer skirt, and I don't wear pantyhose, as it kind of defeats the purpose of wearing the skirt in the first place, no? If it's hot and gross outside, I don't really care to wrap my legs in nylon.

Perhaps we should look to Stacy for advice, no?

First of all, the only "hose" I really hate are the semi-sheer ones in "suntan" or "black." They look dated and remind me of a time when women would walk to work in their suits, those hose, white sweat socks and white leather aerobic sneakers. Blech. Might as well throw in a whole can of hairspray, too. Too '80s! Stay away from anything that has a mid-range "denier" number that indicates the sheerness of the hose (10 is very sheer, 30 is semi-sheer and 50 is opaque).

I recommend a good self-tanner for the pale-leg situation, but also realize that won't help with spider veins. Look for opaque tights and try them in a subtle color, like a burgundy or deep purple, when wearing a neutral-color knee-length skirt or suit. They will hide your legs and add a visual punch to your outfits!

Or, perhaps, we should stop "spoiling the view" and grab ourselves a pair of Underalls:

What say you, commenters? How do you deal with dressing for warmer weather? And do you have any basic style tips to share with your fashion-challenged fellow commenters?

Should Women Bare Their Legs In The Office? [ABCNews]
Stacy London Solves Your Sticky Style Issues [MSNBC]
Underalls [Vintage Ads]

As you may know, Stacy London, who graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Vassar with degrees in 20th-century philosophy and German literature, is the co-host of What Not To Wear. According to a piece by Jennifer Huget in the Washington Post, on the show, London and Clinton Kelly are "meticulous in avoiding any negative commentary about a person's weight."

But don't we live in a world where being "fashionable" and "stylish" often go hand in hand with being thin? Or at least: Of certain dimensions. The largest size at both Marc Jacobs and Topshop is a 12. Glamour may have featured a plus-sized model (not the same as a plus-sized woman, but different from a fashion model) in its pages, but Vogue made sure to obscure the body of Adele when she was in the "Shape" issue. London tries to challenge the idea that stylish = slim. But aren't overweight people unhealthy? That's what the media feeds us, everyday. Writes Jennifer Huget:

The overweight/illness connection, [nutritionist Linda Bacon] notes, has scant support in the scientific literature. The overwhelming conviction in the medical community and among public-health policymakers is that overweight contributes mightily to the nation's ill health, particularly as excess weight is strongly associated with such conditions as cardiovascular disease, Type 2 diabetes and some cancers. Bacon observes that while "certainly there are a lot of diseases associated with high weight," that doesn't mean overweight actually causes those illnesses.

And Stacy London reflects this attitude:

"Whether you're as healthy as you should be or not, that doesn't disallow you to look your best," London says. "Style is only possible from a place of self-acceptance."

London knows of what she speaks, as she has been a "not-very-healthy" 90 lbs and 180 lbs. She tried to quit smoking and gained 15 lbs, which was tough on a show where she's expected to fit into the wardrobe provided and there's no budget to buy all new clothes. "It affected me. I was very moody, embarrassed and disappointed in myself." And yet, she believes that flattering your body with stylish clothes is better than covering it up or worrying about your weight:

"Style is the instrument you can pick back up when you want to regain some of the confidence you've lost. Style offers concrete rules you can follow. You can use it as a resource rather than a barrier to feeling good about yourself. You have to look in the mirror and see that what you're wearing looks good on the body you have now," she says. "Wearing a larger size is just…wearing a larger size."

Stacy London's Low-Snark Approach to Feeling Fine About Your Body [WaPo]

• So, why was Lithuanian-born model Auguste Abeliunate crying on the Jil Sander runway? Was it Raf Simons' severe, Germanic threads? Sander's in denial: "No model was crying on the runway!" says a rep. [WSJ]

• Michelle Obama's Michael Kors White House portrait LBD marks the biggest American designer name the first lady has chosen so far. [WWD]
• The mystery man who bid $40 million for two Qing dynasty bronzes from the YSL collection is now refusing to honor the winning bid, as the 18th century pieces were looted in 1860. [NYT]
• Notorious designer/rapist Anand Jon is requesting a new trial. [Times of India]
• Speaking of legal troubles! The perennially ludicrous Roberto Cavalli is being sued by Ittierre Spa's administrators for his comments regarding the Just Cavalli license. [WWD]
• He, characteristically, seems unruffled: "I have 11 million fans [on Facebook], I saw that only Madonna has more than me. It's lovely. It's not for the money–believe me, I don't care. It's vibrations. I hate drugs, I've never used them in my life–never smoked a marijuana cigarette. But my drug is the adrenaline, the vibrations. That's what makes me love life!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• H&M, struggling with fast fashion, gets into fast home textiles. [WSJ]
• Art world macher Dasha Zhukova has been appointed as editor in chief of POP magazine. [WWD]
• We're all for "feisty females" inspiring designers - and we dig the Pam Anderson-Westwood collab - but Pixie Geldof? Srsly? "Spoiled children" wasn't really what we had in mind. [Independent]
• Not, mind you, that actress/model/writers havn't suffered in their long lives. Writes Peaches: "As early as age 9, I preferred to wear garish, ill fitting ‘80s prom dresses over jeans – usually to disastrous results. I did envy the more put-together girls who had armoires full of perfectly ironed, timeless pieces; they looked effortless in their black or white silk staple skirts and trousers dressed up with a statement bag or Chanel jacket. But at heart, I was a magpie, always rooting through bargain bins at charity shops for, say, a sequined cape, which for some reason I just had to own." [Nylon]
• $7 grand for a heel? A bargain! The Louboutin "Marie Antoinette" is "an open-toe platform high heel in satin, embroidered with colorful beads by the house of Jean-Francois Lesage, edged with a ruffling of chiffon and velvet." Oh, and even better: it's grotesquely ugly! [LA Times]
• ScarJo, Dolce, Gabbana, some Italian department store. For unclear reasons, this drew a crowd of a thousand. Quoth the Waits enthusiast, "Who doesn't want to look like the femme fatales from the Forties and Fifties?" [WWD]
• Nicole Farhi's psyched to be a grandma, but within reason: "One thing I won't be doing, though, is a range of Farhi clothes for children. I love kids, but I'm not making kids' clothes!" [Telegraph]
• Stacy London is on a quest to end "mom jeans'" bad rep. "Moms are superheroes. 'Mom jeans' should be a super cool . . . pair of jeans," says the What Not to Wear maven. [LAT]
• Victoria Beckham's dress line has singlehandedly boosted the business of one British fabric mill. [Telegraph]
• "Do you want to smell like Halle Berry?" Well, that really depends on what she smells like. Presumably, like the new perfume she's seen advertising here in a series of diaphanous cover-ups. [The Life Files]
• In case you were wondering, model Eva Herzigova is "a 35-year-old woman, mother to a 21-month-old son - beautiful, powerful and in total control." [TimesUK]
• Oh, and homeless style enthusiast/model Erin Wasson? "It's humbling...I still can't get over the fact that these people want to come out to see little old me." Us, neither. [Style.com]
• Speaking of genuine modesty, we love Tim Gunn: "I'm grateful every day that I still have a job at Liz Claiborne. I make no assumptions about me...I'm confident that Liz Claiborne, Inc. will pull out of this, because we're operating so thoughtfully and so strategically ... But it is a challenging time."[New York]
• Even Obama fave J. Crew is feeling the pinch: they've eliminated 95 positions. [WWD]
• Steve Madden, at least, is up! [WWD]
• A "model" who fell through a hole in a "runway" in 2007 is suing the companies involved in the fashion show. [The Life Files]
• Crocs is confident that a new CEO will turn the company around. Hey, we couldn't have predicted their initial success...[WWD]

• The USA Today article that discusses the shopping poll also pointed out that "39% have purchased something that was too small, hoping it would look good once they lost weight." Stacy and Clinton are so against this. They always say that you should dress the body you have, not the body you think you should have. You should also probably learn to love your body, but that's not quite as easily remedied.
• "62% say they own a pair of jeans that no longer fit," according to the same survey. Again: a no no. Our bodies change sometimes, Stacy and Clinton will have you know, and if you put on or lose weight, you should buy some new garb. You're going to feel bad about yourself if you wear clothes that don't fit, because they're going to look bad.
• The survey also says that "14% have refused help from sales personnel so they wouldn't have to reveal their size." Again: know your size, love your size. The best sales personnel know their stock, and they have suggestions about what looks good on you that you might have missed out on. Which brings me to…
• Accepting what looks good on you. Like Tracie said in her post yesterday about Mad Men fashion and Sadie pointed out in her post on practical tips for personal style, if you've got some curves, you are going to rock structured styles, while you will…decidedly not rock floppy, tent-y styles . If you're sporting a cute boyish figure, you can look chic in those same tent dresses! And pretty much no one looks good in American Apparel spandex unitards.

All of this What Not To Wear ephemera boils down to one basic tenet that ultimately has nothing to do with fashion. Know your body, love your body, and as Stacy and Clinton would say, if something looks bad, blame the clothes, not your figure!

*I'm sure some of you are going to complain in the comments that the original British version of the show is superior to the American imitation, but having seen Trinny and Susannah I must respectfully disagree! Stacy London is the baddest bitch.

Trying On Clothes Brings Most Women Low [USA Today]

Earlier: Mad Men Is Stimulating Consumerism In The Midst Of A Recession
Practical Tips For Personal Style, Or Why Not To Listen To Women's Magazines
American Apparel Will Make You Look Like A Fat Hooker

• Cameron Diaz and Gerard Butler: Three dates in ten days. Touchy-feely everywhere. It's like, so on. Yeah, this is the kind of news that makes us ache inside. You, too? [Mirror]
  
• Neither Beyoncé nor Jay-Z have confirmed that they were married. But on stage in North Carolina on Saturday, Mary J. Blige (who is on tour with Jay) shouted "Congratulations to my man, Jay-Z, and my girl B," during the show. If Mary says it, you gotta believe! [People]
  
• Oooh, apparently guests at the Z-Knowles wedding were asked to leave all cell phones, cameras and guns at home and were frisked at the door — yet three guns were left in an "amnesty box" outside Jay-Z's apartment. Dangerously in love! [Mirror]
  
• Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears spent her 17th birthday eating at Ruby Tuesday and shopping at Wal-Mart with her fiancé. [People]
  
• "I work with underprivileged girls, mostly minorities, who hate themselves because they don't look like Lauren Conrad. Who the fuck wants to look like the girls on The Hills? They're complete nitwits. Success is about more than acquiring a Hermes bag." — Stacy London of What Not To Wear. [Rush & Molloy]

• Click here to see what Scarlett Johansson's album cover looks like. (She's lying on some ferns inside of a stump or something, but it looks prettier than it sounds.) [People]
• Jessica Alba had a baby shower on Sunday; Rashida Jones, Jaime King and Kim Kardashian were in attendance. The menu featured chicken, tiger shrimp, dark chocolate-dipped strawberries and cupcakes. Jess received strollers, cradles, Dr. Seuss books, rattles and clothes. Yawn. [E!]
• Lily Allen and Kelly Osbourne turned up at the same event wearing the same Vivienne Westwood dress. Horrors! [Mirror]
• Madonna will adopt a kid from India after she finishes promoting her new album. Namaste! [The Sun]
• Um, unless, as this paper says, David Banda is the last child she ever adopts. [The Sun]
• Thandie Newton is going to play Condi Rice in Oliver Stone's new movie??? Love her, but she doesn't look like the Secretary of State. Then again, Josh Brolin doesn't look like W, so. Sigh. [LA Times]
• Nicky Hilton, who is dating Mary-Kate Olsen's ex, David Katzenberg, is becoming good friends with The Hills' Whitney Port, who is dating Ashley Olsen's ex, Matt Kaplan. Are you keeping up? Think of it this way: Hollywood is one giant bacteria swap. [Page Six]
• Dane Cook's neighbors hate him because he doesn't pick up after his dog. Gross. [Page Six]
• Paul McCartney and Heather Mills' daughter Beatrice was seen shopping with her nanny, picking out her own clothes without her parents there, poor thing. She is 4. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, Sir Paul has praised ex-wife Linda (and taken a swipe at Heather) by noting that Linda (who died in 1998) "didn't go on TV and say, 'This is who I am - hello' and try to ingratiate herself. Her priorities were private rather than public." [Mirror]
• Oh, and Paul's new girlfriend, "millionairess" Nancy Shevell, seems kind of great. [Daily Mail]
• Unfinished Kelly Clarkson tracks have leaked on to the Internet. That "sucks," says Kelly Clarkson. [Reuters]
• As previously reported, there's an X-rated blow-up doll based on Sarah Jessica Parker and Sex And The City. Will there also be a lawsuit? [UPI]
• Porn star Mary Carey announced "I'm 37 days sober!" at a NYC restaurant last week, then had a glass of wine. [Gatecrasher]
• Jessica Simpson is "shaving" on the new cover of Esquire. [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson's album will be released almost at the same time as Mariah Carey's. Doesn't look good for Ash. [MSNBC]
• Did Mariah lipsync on a UK TV show? [Perez Hilton]
• Dina Lohan is "worried" about tabloid attention on daughter Ali, who stars in Dina's upcoming reality show. "It's scary because I did it with Lindsay and got her to the level of success that she is at and with the tabloids ... so with Ali now it's scary ... they are already making things up about her," Dina says. Thrusting her into the spotlight will certainly solve the problem! [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Disney youth act's gay stylist had the suits in a dither because he insisted on dressing the boys in the tightest possible clothes? The execs had to back down when the "beyond metrosexual" look was a smash with their target 'tween audience." [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney received an anonymous voice mail from a man telling him to ditch girlfriend Sarah Larson. The man said, "Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you're sorry!" Clooney had the call traced to a pre-paid cell phone but still doesn't know who left the message. Maybe the person who "writes" IDontlikeYouInThatWay? [TMZ]
• Photo agency x17 has apologized to Tony Parker and Eva Longoria for posting the claims of model Alexandra Paressant, who said that she'd had an affair with Tony after he married Eva. Tony had never even met Paressant. Friday the agency said: X17online.com and X17 Inc. regret having been misled by Ms. Paressant and her representatives and apologize to Mr. Parker for any damage or inconvenience this may have caused him or his wife." [TMZ]
• The reason Naomi Campbell had a hissy fit on a British Airways flight? When they lost her luggage, she reportedly said, "I must have the clothing that is in the suitcase because it is a brand that I have got to wear otherwise I don't get paid." [Mirror]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Cheryl Burke has opened her own dance studio in San Francisco. [ET]
• Jennie Garth might make a cameo appearance in the pilot of the 90210 spinoff! [LA Times]
• Rickrolling has actually spurred sales of Rick Astley songs. Amazing. [Reuters]
• Colin Farrell toured Bosnia in preparation for a new film. ""I felt sick," he says. "It is hard to describe how obviously the air and the land has been poisoned by the act of killing 8,000 people in the space of a day. But you really do get the sense of the pain and the loss and I am sad, I really am sad." [Reuters]
• 21 was number one at the box office again, beating George Clooney's Leatherheads. [E!]
• Charlton Heston is dead. [People]

The Good:

The Bad:

The Ugly:

• Venus Williams was awarded with an associate's degree in fashion design from the Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale over the weekend, becoming the first celebrity "designer" to ever get a degree in fashion design. She even got a prize for the "Best Sportswear Collection" and a 3.5 GPA. Also, she has a collection for Steve & Barry's. [Sassybella]
  
• Mango takes a nod from Pedro Almodovar, keeps Penelope Cruz as the face of its brand for a second consecutive season. Now if she could only find a boyfriend with the same devotion! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Italian director Franco Zeffirelli wants to give the Pope a makeover. But would the Pope approve of all the gratuitous tit scenes in Romeo & Juliet? [Sassybella]
  
• French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld is in New York for her lesser-known spawn Vladmir's 23rd birthday. [Fashion Week Daily]

• Film mogul/fat man Harvey Weinstein and Marchesa designer/pretty young thing Georgina Chapman's honeymoon: not so picture perfect. The $250,000 yacht they're renting is unable to enter St. Bart's due to a fuel strike there. We weep for them, seriously. [Page Six]
• The real reason Vivienne Westwood is showing her Red Label line in London revealed at last: She has a coffee table book to promote. This from the woman who wrote the manifesto against capitalism! [WWD, 2nd item]
• New Balance will be releasing a new line of women's shoes called NB Inside which offer style, comfort, and basically no actual athletic usage capabilities. [MediaPost]
• Former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane is now in talks with his former bosses at LVMH to start his own eponymous menswear line. Which, we assume, will look just like Dior Homme. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Names to know: Roksanda Ilincic, Richard Nicoll and Jens Laugesen. These designers all won the big prize in the UK's Fashion Forward competition this year, which is basically a guarantee of becoming the Next Big Think in Cool Britannia fashion. [Vogue UK]
• Jeweler David Yurman is coming out with a perfume. There has been no mention of what it smells like. And, surprise, a whole lotta mention on the elaborate-jeweled bottle which will hold it. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Current fashion darling Phillip Lim will be making his debut in Bryant Park during the upcoming fashion show season, which means he's "arrived" or whatever in fashion world terms. [Fashion Week Daily]
• For the first time ever, we are envious of socialites: the society set got to attend a private performance of the Isaac Mizrahi-narrated Peter and the Wolf over the weekend. Mizrahi's costume consisted of a scarf and a fedora. Swoon. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Okay, for the second time today, we are envious of socialites: the rich bitches got to buy the Miu Miu spring collection at a private sale/party Friday night in New York before it goes on sale for the masses this week. [Fashion Week Daily]
• One in four Massachusetts hair and nail salons stands in violation of health codes. And if they're being that poorly behaved in a bleeding heart and highly moral state like MA, we don't even want to think how bad things are here in hedonistic New York. Ew. [BellaSugar]

• Tim Gunn is taking some conflict-of-interest heat regarding a recent column he wrote OK! magazine. (Tim writes for OK!? How declasse!) When advising a reader about what jeans are best to fit most bodies, he steered the reader towards Liz Claiborne and Lucky Brand. Funny thing is, Gunn just happens to be the Chief Creative Officer of Liz Claiborne. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• The ads of David Beckham in his Emporio Armani undies don't hit the UK 'til March, but sales for white men's briefs have already gone up 50% since the announcement was made that Beckham's face (and balls) would be tied to the brand. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Marc Jacobs on his camel toe costume: "I love being the unexpected, even if that means not moving for the entire night. You just kind of slide in from the front and hang out here. And the fur is all artificial of course, but there is simply too much of it!" Why are we not surprised that Jacobs would be anti-bush? [Fashion Week Daily]

• "I wear a piece of Jenni every day," says Skeletor/celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe, referring to newly notable designer Jenni Kayne. [Fashion Week Daily]
• When we do spring cleaning, we end up hauling truckloads of old magazines and empty Kombucha bottles to the curb. When Karl Lagerfeld does spring cleaning, the items are curated and then put up for auction. [Vogue UK]
• Reverend Run's daughters have a clothing line. It is called Pastry. It is ugly. [FabSugar]
• Say what you will about Marc Jacobs, but at least he's using models (and good ones!) for the Louis Vuitton spring advertising campaign. Stephanie Seymour, Eva Herzigova, Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, Angela Lindvall and Natalia Vodianova are all set to star in the Richard Prince-inspired ads. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Uh oh: Why is Elle International Creative Director Gilles Bensimon sending out cryptic, vaguely suicidal-sounding e-mail "postcards" to his friends? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Stella McCartney has designed a pleather patent camera bag. It is actually pretty cute. But it's currently on sale for $400 (down from $1,235 originally), which seems like a fuckload of money for a bit of plastic. [GeekSugar]
• Kate Moss is the face of the spring Longchamp campaign. She looks hot. Yawn. [Sassybella]
• Martha Stewart's infamous former stockbroker/walker Peter Bacanovic is moving on past insider trading and into bling: He has just accepted the title of CEO of Fred Leighton jewelers. [WWD, 1st item]
• Krazy Karl: Thinking Russian for next year's Chanel metiers d'art collection. What would Lenin say? [WWD, 3rd item]
• John Galliano: Now doing jewelry. We really hope it's pirate-themed. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Anyone else find it interesting that not-seaweed yogawear line Lululemon's biggest competitors are Victoria's Secret, American Eagle, and Nike? [The Economist]