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10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
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zoethebitch
10/02/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
Pretty girls with flowers (2008 USA Women's Soccer Team)
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
10/02/09

@zoethebitch: Oh, awesome.
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lucyjae
10/02/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
Why do these pageant moms always pick the most obnoxious spelling of their child's name possible, I mean Bayleigh? What was so wrong with Bailey, it's not good enough if people can spell it?
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wednesdayam
10/02/09

@lucyjae: Because their little sparking stars have to be *unique flowers* and the most instant way to convey this uniqueness is to go insane on the spelling of their names and make them into frustrated adults who have to always spell out their first name for anything official the rest of their lives.
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hfree
10/02/09

@wednesdayam: And will never be able to find a keychain with their name on it. Never underestimate the joy of being able to find a keychain with your name on it (says a girl with a fairly normal, yet increasingly rare, name who never got a keychain because they had to make room for Hannah and Heidi. hmph. But I'm not bitter).
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messybessy
10/02/09

@hfree: It's so true! I have a name that was predominantly a boys name when I was younger, and I could only find boy stuff with my name on it. The kids clothing shop downtown (I grew up in a very small town) once special ordered barrettes with my name on it for me, but didn't tell me. They just let me find those precious barrettes on Easter shopping day. I still remember the little red and blue balloons on either side of my name. Okay, sorry for the stroll down memory lane.
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Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
10/02/09

@wednesdayam: My friend just put an extra N on the end of her child's name, and added two middle names (both misspelled). But she's my BFF, what can I do?
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Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
10/02/09

@hfree: As a girl who also has an H name which is fairly common, but spelled oddly, I feel your pain.
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LadyFabulous
10/02/09

@messybessy: I used to always want stuff with my name on it, but it's hard enough to find anything with just my first initial (Z) than my name (Zinnat.)
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Kitty
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
I find that usually the kind of beautiful that hurts is more often the beautiful that is bad for you.
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Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. promoted this comment Kitty was starred Kitty was unstarred

Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
10/02/09

@Kitty: My grandmother used to tell me it hurts to be beautiful when she was braiding my hair, so I have always kind of like the phrase, because it makes me nostalgic. But, yes, as a generally rule beauty does not have to equal pain.
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tell Dolly Parton again
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
I dunno, I think it might be fun for a 5-year-old to get a spray tan. Not that it's morally correct, but that it's kind of like running through the sprinkler and finger painting all at once.
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Cunning_Linguist
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
I don't think she knows what "hot mess" means.
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axel_f
10/02/09

@Cunning_Linguist: i find it hard to believe that any 5 year old could be considered a "hot mess"
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Charlene Darling
10/02/09

@Cunning_Linguist:
My exact thought:
"Lady, I do not think that means what you think that means."
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4eyes
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
What, perhaps, baffles me most about this is how casually the parents dress. their daughter's all dolled up and glowing orange on some sad, temporary gymnasium stage, and the parents don't even change out of what I wear as jammies. if they're going to make their child shimmy shimmy in a terrifying version of animal print meets neon, then mom & daddy better do more than wear an over-sized t-shirt & mime the moves from their metal fold-out chair.
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jaydock
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
More! More! More! This is the highlight of my week.
(Don't care if that's sad.)
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hotpinklovesofa
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
The thing that bothers me the most about these pageants is the jealousy it creates and how it pits these young girls against each other all based on looks and plastic awards that don't mean anything at the end of the day. These mother's that enter their kids in these pageants, I just don't understand what they're thinking. Besides objectifying their girls at a very young age and valuing beauty over education, they're spending so much money to win barely a tenth of what they commit in travel, outfits, coaches, make-up, etc. They use the excuse that it increases confidence in their girls but so does sports and at least you're exercising and it's usually a team effort, which instills camaraderie. And we wonder why women have yet to reach equality with men. We're constantly battling each other over the stupidest shit.
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Thus Spake KATE!
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
out of curiosity: do they have these kinds of things everywhere in the country? i was raised in the south and knew a lot of girls growing up who did this kind of stuff and everytime i see a clip from this show the southern accents are so thick they seem comical. are northern/midwestern/west-coast girls subjected to this too?
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tomatoheart
10/01/09

@KATE!: yes, and this show specifically has highlighted a variety of shows all across the US. In fact I believe that next week's show takes place in Hawaii
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CherriSpryte
10/01/09

@KATE!: I was born and raised on Long Island, and we did not do this there.... As far as I know, anyway. We did many other things wrong (see: "Lohan, creation of") but not this.
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tomatoheart
10/01/09

@CherriSpryte: sure "you" do....
[www.eastcoastusapageant.com]

Every state at least has the Miss USA branded pageants because the contestants for Miss USA have to go through the state pageants first.
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LaFemme
10/02/09

@CherriSpryte: Ha, agreed.As a half Southerner and a half New Yorker I have to say NY has its faults, but being in ""beauty reviews" is not one of them
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linnyt is a walking cliché
10/02/09

@KATE!: my parents were house hunting outside DC and one of the houses had a trophy room for pagents like this. somebody in maryland competes in these things and probably does so against other people in the area. (my parents considered the throphy room and its contents a huge negative about the house. it creeped my mom out.)
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TheUptightMidwesterner
10/02/09

@KATE!: Each state has their own level pageants for Miss USA and Miss America. In the midwest, most of the Miss America contestants come up through municipal pageants and those are primarily for high school and college ages.
Kid's pagaents are privately sponsored and usually go up through Junior Miss and then through Miss USA and divisions.

...and I am outing myself again as a pageant vet again :-(
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SharonTaint
10/02/09

@LaFemme: Yeah, I was born and raised in Manhattan and no one I knew was into pageants.
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Lizard in the Wires - Please, call it hamburger time.
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
Keeping my fingers crossed for LOLpagents to show up one of these weeks...
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Jennifer Daniels
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
Wait a minute...all of this is from ONE EPISODE? The fail could take up an entire season!!!
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Ruby_de_la_Booby
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
At the end of Clip #6 does she say, "I shaved my hoozie?" Because I've listened to it a few times now, and that is all I can come up with....and with these moms, I wouldn't doubt if she did shave her hoozie.
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homovegetarian
10/01/09

@Ruby_de_la_Booby: she shaked her booty.
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AvgElitist
10/01/09

@Ruby_de_la_Booby: It's "I shaked my booty."

Bayleigh then proceeded to demonstrate how she shook her booty, and it was disturbing.
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Mrs. Stephen Fry
10/01/09

@Ruby_de_la_Booby: I shook my bootie. Although I enjoy "I shaved my hoozie" much more.
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idyll
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
When I was 6, a mother at my dance school talked my Mom into entering me into a pageant, saying I could earn money for college if I did well in it. After the first pageant, where I did fine, she never entered me in one again. My dad put his foot down and refused.

If I look at the pictures now, I have to laugh, because I was the only asian girl, in a home sewn denim skirt and blouse, wearing blue eyeshadow and some lipstick. All the other girls were teased and powdered like crazy. I won Most Poised, so I guess you could say I ended my pageant career on a high note!
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QuicheLorraine
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
I was trying to figure out what the "after" picture in panel 4 reminded me of.
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Lin-Z [linguist on duty] promoted this comment Edited by QuicheLorraine at 10/01/09 8:35 PM QuicheLorraine was starred QuicheLorraine was unstarred

QuicheLorraine
10/01/09

@QuicheLorraine: Oh, for Pete (Campbell)'s sake.
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AvgElitist
10/01/09

In reply to 10 Parenting Fails Of Pageant Moms
Do these pageants remind anyone else of pyramid schemes? The whole tan or not be competitive bit. Or the entry for extra titles part. It's like these events are being run by Amway.
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Bgirl_Hamster promoted this comment AvgElitist was starred AvgElitist was unstarred

Bgirl_Hamster
10/01/09

@AvgElitist: Totally. And the parents on these shows often defend pageants by saying "Oh but Suzie won $1000 the last time she was crowned Miss Supreme." But is that even a drop in the bucket compared to what the outfits/hotel rooms/fake tans/entry fees cost? I think these parents would be better off setting up a savings account for college. This type of extra-curricular activity can be beneficial, but it's delusional to say that it's a winning financial investment in the long run.
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curiousgeorgiana
10/01/09

@Bgirl_Hamster: I remember a few episodes ago, a producer asked a mom to total her expenses putting her daughter in pageants. She estimated $70,000 spent on clothes and travel.

And her daughter was 5 years old. Would have made a great scholarship fund...
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AvgElitist
10/01/09

It's just so nuts how pageant organizers and women who show up at them willing to spray tan 5-year-olds have really made their livelihood off these people.
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