Jezebel: splash news

Prince William Pitches A Tent • Larry King Rocks Out

Maria — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:15:00 EDT

Welcome back to the Monday morning edition of Snap Judgment, in which we publish the celebrity snaps that came in over the earlier part of the weekend. Inside: Mel B., Sheryl Crow, Ozzie Osbourne, Janice Dickinson, Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Prince William, Keith Richards, Lily Allen, Mary-Kate Olsen, and Larry King "rocking out" with Motley Crue! All those — and others — in a gallery beginning below. (Click on the post headline, then a picture to begin the gallery view.)

Dear Daily Mail, sod off. The British newspaper...

Jessica — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 16:20:00 EST

Dear Daily Mail, sod off. The British newspaper is taking a particularly perverse and offensive joy in pointing out Kim Cattrall's cellulite. She's looking dead sexy to us, especially at age 51. Samantha Jones would definitely be giving all of you the finger right about now. [Daily Mail]

Loose Lips

Jessica — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:45:00 EST

Steve-O was caught smoking weed out of a Dr. Pepper can at last night's roast of KISS's Gene Simmons. There were too many D-list names in that sentence. • Race car driver Helio Castroneves and dancer Julianne Hough won Dancing with the Stars. Sad! I was totally rooting for Scary Spice! • Us has a couples who collaborate slide show which includes Brangelina, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett, and Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey? [dlisted, TMZ, Us]

BCBG: For Girls Who Like Their Dresses "Blonde"

Moe — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 15:30:23 EDT

BCBG is a $1 billion mall chain that sells almost nothing more expensive than $500 started by a man who openly claims American women are more fashionable than French ones even as it insists on observing wholly un-American return policies, so why its second-ever runway show was such a Colossal Event mystified me somewhat. One woman brazenly cut in front of me in line — and it was the standing room only line — though maybe she was just doing it to get away from the other lady who was wearing the exact-same ruffly cream eyelit sack-dress that fashion is supposed to be paradigm shifting away from right now. Well, guess what, girly-girls? At least from the nosebleed section, the paradigm shift appeared to = adding a brown leather belt to the same white shift and calling it "tailored."

Apparently Ciara and Ashlee's sis were both in attendance at this show; as was Ashlee, but we spent our time stalking Katja, a kindergarten student and Jersey City resident who was one of Fashion Week's few attendees electing to partake in the free Krispy Kreme donuts — and wait a minute, did Krispy Kreme rise out of liquidation or whatever just to taunt the ketosis fanatics? — until she allowed us to ask her, "What dress was prettiest?"There was some deliberation. Then Katja, the daughter of a stylist, said:

I liked the blonde ones the best

Which about sums up this show: lots of blondes, pretty flowy hair, a token Asian, Lucy Liu-style, pretty knee- and tea-length dresses, blasting Lily Allen or someone who sounds exactly like her... all perfect shit for your inner six-year-old. And yeah, we all have one.

[Photos by Briana E. Heard]

An Alternative To Bratz? Jesus Christ!

Dodai — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:59:38 EDT

We all sort of agree that Bratz dolls are a wee bit skanky. Guess what? There's an antidote to the fishnet-wearin', pouty-puckered little wenches, thank the Lord. No, really. Thank Him! Because instead of playing with mini-skirted, ethnically ambiguous baby bimbos, kids can play with a chick who got pregnant but swears she never had sex. Her name's Mary! CNN reports that Wal-Mart is testing bible action figures. Because some of the toys they make today? Holy crap!

'If you're very religious, it's a battle for your children's minds and what they're playing with and pretending. There are remakes out there of Satan and evil things.'

So says David Socha, the CEO of toy company One2believe. So, in certain markets, customers will be able to choose from fun stuff like a tiny version of the aforementioned famously knocked-up girl with her baby and baby daddy; a 12-inch talking Jesus and a muscular 13-inch Samson. It would be super cool if you could cut Samson's hair, but lo, it's made of plastic. Damn.
Wal-Mart To Test Bible Action Figures in 425 Stores [CNNMoney]
Earlier: The Unsluttification of Bratz

Scarlett Johansson: Fuck Her.

Moe — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 09:56:38 EDT

July 11, New York we assume since it's a Woody Allen movie although wait a second that last one was in London. Whatevs. Image via Splash

Britney Spears Has Totally Kicked All Her Bad Habits Except The Ones Involving Tent Dresses, Tanning Salons, Insufficient Underwear, That Fucking Hat...

Moe — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 14:44:03 EDT

Brit, at her slightly ghetto-seeming Brentwood tanicurist again yesterday.

Snap Judgment: Bonnet Not Doing Any Favors For Usually-Adorable Violet Affleck

Anna — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 18:45:15 EDT

(Pacific Palisades, California; April 13, 2007)

[Image via SplashNews]

Snap Judgment: Claudia Schiffer Tries To Resurrect Acting Career By Impersonating Gwyneth Paltrow

Anna — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 15:50:00 EDT

(London, April 13, 2007)

[Image via Splash]

Snap Judgment: Ashlee Simpson's Bad Posture

Anna — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 09:50:14 EDT

(Runway Nightclub, New York, April 12, 2007)

[Image via Splash]

Photo Dump: 'This' Could Be Cuter

Anna — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:25:50 EDT

(Brentwood, April 10, 2007)
Jessica Biel (yes, again), this time out with her old friend "Tina" and new puppy. We like a woman who can handle a tough bitch or two.

[Image via SplashNews]

Photo Dump: Jennifer & Violet... What Could Be Cuter?

Anna — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 09:00:10 EDT

(Brentwood, April 10, 2007)

[Image via SplashNews]

Photo Dump: Jessica Biel

Anna — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:40:17 EDT

(Brentwood, Calif; April 9, 2007)

[Image via SplashNews]

Photo Dump: Mariska Hargitay & Peter Hermann

Anna — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 09:30:00 EDT

New York, April 9, 2007

She's so lucky. No, scratch that. He's so lucky!

[Image via SplashNews]

Liveblogging "Letterman": All-Mulatto Edition!

Anna — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 20:49:38 EDT

Tonight we'll be live-blogging the appearance of Barack Obama and Halle Berry on The Late Show with David Letterman. Why? Because, like Barack and Halle, we're also half-breeds with divorced parents! (Well, actually, Moe is blonde and has parents who still love one another. Aww!). We're also secretly hoping for a Halle Berry/Michelle Obama smackdown, seeing as Halle arrived at the Late Show studios earlier today wearing a full-on fuck-me outfit of black stilettos and leather pants (see photo above). Will Barack be able to resist? Will Halle bring up the suicide attempt she claims is old news but reportedly keeps rehashing anyway? Check back in later to find out; the festivities begin at 11:35pm EST.

(Live blog begins after the jump)

•David comes out to complain about the weather; makes some lame jokes about the Yankees and Barry Bonds.

•First mention of Barack. "He wants to make two major announcements. Once he wants to announce his plan for ending the war. The next he wants to announce his plan for canceling The View."

•Halliburton joke.

•Mention of Halle Berry receives 1/3 more applause than Barack's name-check.

•It really IS mixed-race day at the Ed Sullivan Theater! David mourns Tiger Woods' loss at the Masters the day before.

•Back from commercial break: The Top Ten List — "Things I Can Say Now That I've Won The Masters" — as presented by tournament winner Zach Johnson. By the way: What is up with David's tie? Ug. Ly.

•Johnson is appealingly nervous. Number 6: "Even I've Never Heard Of Me!" Cute.

•Quick commercial break. Here comes Barack. Nice suit! Barack claps along with the audience as he walks out, and hey! He's even taller than Dave is! Dave asks him about his smoking. Barack admits that he's terrified of wife Michelle. Barack won't answer the question about how long he'd been smoking. Dave says it might actually be cool if we had a president who smoked. "The gum's working good," says Barack. "I could use some now."

•Discussion of bills, vetos, Republican congressmen, and phasing out of Iraq. "We're going to have to be much more aggressive with diplomacy in the region, both inside of Iraq and outside of Iraq," says Barack. Whoops! Barack tries to stifle a burp. He gets applause after saying "You don't go to war based on faulty intelligence".

•More Iraq-talk. Barack is gesticulating a lot with his hands, making the wedding ring on his left hand in the close-up shots very, very visible. Michelle, no doubt, is in the green room shooting Halle pointed looks.

•Barack says he thinks the U.S. is the "last best hope on earth."

•David loves Barack's suit! "This is a tremendous suit you have. This is a beauty. That is an electable suit. I would vote for that suit. A good-looking suit."

•Back from commercial break. Time to talk about campaign funds! And David Geffen/Hillary flap. "I don't think there was much to that. I have to say that the folks in Illinois or Iowa were really worrying about David Geffen getting in a spat with the Clintons." Hear that, Maureen?

•Barack smiles at mention of Kucinich. Now we've got full-blown laughs: David has mentioned a Barack-Hillary Democratic ticket or a Hillary-Barack Democratic ticket. Barack prefers the former, natch.

•David laughs a little too hard at Barack's anecdote about his kids. Dave winces when Barack admits that he's away from home so often that Michelle has taken to referring to him as "my first husband." Halle! Here's your opening!

•Halle's here. Girl looks good.

•Snooze. Golf talk.

•David asks Halle about Barack. "I love him. I got to meet him at Oprah's house." She also likes his suit. Reticent, are we, Halle?

•Is Halle dumb? Shy? Nervous? Humorless? This interview is just inching along. Put us out of our misery, David.

•Our prayers are inexplicably and quickly answered. David tells Halle how gorgeous she is, and then we're off. G'night everyone!

[Image via SplashNews]

Photo Dump: Julia Roberts & Child

Anna — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 17:23:23 EDT

Julia Roberts arriving at the Texas set of her film Fireflies In The Garden today. You can almost see the pregnant belly.

[Image via Splash]

Photo Dump: Keira Knightley Brings Sexy Back

Moe — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 15:25:20 EDT

Dear Keira,
Under normal circumstances we would totally say that firing Rachel Zoe is such a "Do"! But there are ways to hide your eating disorders that don't involve black tights worn in tandem with gold strappy sandals, which is one of those combos that could make Allegra Versace look fat. (And also, tacky!) Shapeless granny dresses are usually somewhat cuter when there's SOMETHING — a wee neckline plunge? a belt-type apparatus? An outergarment with a bit of tailoring, as opposed to your boyfriend's public school cardigan? — to indicate the actual female form swimming around underneath it. Also, that hat: No. We'll own up to moral relativism here; we'd leave you alone if your name was Winona and your boyfriend was Johnny Depp and the year was 1993 and Rachel Zoe was languishing at YM or whateverthefuck she did before she was the Most Powerful Woman In The Universe. But this shit beats any of the fugly user-generated ensembles on the Jane Rate My Outfit blog. So goody for you.

-Jezebel

Photo Dump: Marc Jacobs & Amanda de Cadenet

Anna — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 00:19:21 EDT

Talk about retail therapy. 25 days after news broke that he'd entered a substance-abuse program, fashion designer Marc Jacobs was seen strolling into West Hollywood's Fred Segal store with professional rock star-muse (and possibly pregnant) Amanda de Cadenet. And it looks like Marc scored himself some stylish parting-gifts during his get-sober stint: A killer tan and a tote bearing the name and logo of Arizona's Sierra Tucson treatment center. Could Sierra Tucson bookbags be the start of a new trend? Copycat fashionistas and Marc obsessives, you can get your own such tote here for the very un-Marc price of $9.95. Glad we can be of help.

Sierra Tucson Store - Keepsakes [SierraTuscon]
Related: Breaking: Marc Jacobs In Rehab [Fashionista]

[Image via Splash, 4/7/07]

Photo Dump: Kate Bosworth

Anna — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 09:09:11 EDT

Boston, April 5, 2007
[Image via Splash News]

Hate The Parents: Coco Cox Arquette

Anna — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 21:15:55 EDT

We don't really "hate" Courteney Cox and David Arquette. We're just mildly annoyed by them (bad acting on Dirt on her part; awful, look-at-me outfits on his). But we kinda love their daughter Coco. There's that top-knot, for starters. The kind-of-age-inappropriate aqua sunglasses. (What is she, three? Four?). The adorable Mary Janes-with-socks action.

We also love a little girl who knows how to throw a fit (if she's like other rich American girls, she'll sublimating her rage into eating disorders and obsessive shopping soon enough!). And in this pic, Coco is definitely having none of something. (That something would be: Waiting for her car at The Four Seasons in Beverly Hills).

[Image via Splash News]