• Roman Polanski's lawyer, Herme Temime, says a "very, very significant" cash bail offer will be made to Swiss authorities on Monday, and that Polanski will accept "whatever" extradition decision is made, as Polanski wouldn't behave "like a fugitive." [AP]

• TMZ recently acquired a copy of a book Richard Heene wrote in 1994 titled "The Official Offensive Driving Handbook," which includes references to "Towelheads" and "Orientals" and a picture of Heene on the toilet. [TMZ]
• In more irritating reality dad news: Michael Lohan says his friendship with Jon Gosselin is over after Jon became "secretive and distant." [Radar]
• Meanwhile, Dina and Lindsay Lohan are teaming up to fight back against Michael Lohan and his plans to take control of Lindsay's life. Says Dina: "He is hurting Lindsay. It breaks my heart. She's like, 'Mommy, when is he ever going to stop?' He is also six months behind in his child support. On Monday, we will file a violation order, and if he doesn't pay, he'll go to jail." [PageSix]
• Lindsay, meanwhile, has taken to her Twitter account to share her feelings on her father: "My father is a lunatic and doesn't even deserve such a title since he's never been around in my life other than when he'd threaten me and my family. He should be where he has always put himself after verbally abusing and physically abusing people all my life-behind bars. Its so sad to get a phone call from my baby sister just now asking, ‘Why is daddy doing this?' Through tears. He's crossed the line and hurt me and my family for the the last time." [JustJared]
• "Everyone in the '70s was stoned in order to get onstage, but I was afraid of drugs . . . Now I've grown to love them."-Carly Simon [PageSix]
• Michael Jackson's This Is It won the Friday box office with $7.9 million in ticket sales. [EW]
• Adam Lambert and his boyfriend, Drake LaBry have broken up, says a source: ""The relationship just ran its course. The break-up was mutual and amicable. They remain friends and still care for each other." [JustJared]
• Paris Hilton feels "very, very violated" after her house was broken into. [People]
• "There was one time I went for a meeting for this big movie and I was up for a character who wasn't written as black. The character was a college graduate and the studio head, a woman, said, 'How can we make this role more black if we are going to have you in the film?' And I said, 'Well, I think as it's written it's fine...' And she said, 'Yeah, I know, but she is a graduate, she has been to university.' So I said, 'I've been to university.' And then it was, 'Yeah, but you're different.' I wasn't offended. It's just nonsense. But no, I didn't do the film." - Thandie Newton [DailyMail]
• Bob Marley's family has hired a company to help them protect the rights to Marley's image; counterfeit Marley products currently bring in approximately $600 billion per year. [AP]
• Christina Aguilera says she doesn't deprive herself of the food she loves and tries to keep things balanced with exercise: "I make healthy choices when I can, because it's very important for me to have moments where I can let go, have a great dinner and not care so much about the carbs. I work out five days a week – and I hate working out in the moment, I truly do. But the aftermath is so great, and it helps you feel good – not only physically, but mentally." [DailyMail]
• People of the world! The Spice Girls are set to open the 2012 Olympics in London. [Mirror]
• Ethan Hawke has only positive things to say about Madonna after she spoke out against Gypsy discrimination in Romania: "She transcended being a pop star. She drew international attention and shone the spotlight on a level of racism and the need for greater education." [Yahoo]
• "I see life in colors. When I'm depressed, and going through something, it's in black and white. The flowers are not yellow."-Mary J. Blige, explaining the lyrics to her song for the Precious soundtrack, "I Can See In Color." [LATimes]
• Elton John has been sent to the hospital due to "flu with complications." [DailyMail]
• Elizabeth Hurley says motherhood made her more aware of the dark side of the paparazzi: "‘I would be bursting into tears and just be so angry. There is something about motherhood that makes you very protective of anyone coming too near your child, and the paparazzi did things like take pictures of him nude on the beach and put them online. It was disgusting, disgraceful." [DailyMail]
• Robert Pattinson was so nervous before his Twilight audition that he had to medicate himself before performing: "I took a quarter of a Valium for the first time – and it worked. But when I tried another Valium before another audition, it backfired and I passed out." [Telegraph]
• "Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and I are all close in different ways and we've all been together now forever. It's hard to describe what it's like to be able to have gone through the crazy, crazy journey that is Sex And The City together. There is no one else we could turn to and talk about "remember when". We have years of crazy experiences together. And you can't recreate that with anybody, you can't even pull anybody else into it."- Kristen Davis [Mirror]
• Ryan Seacrest let his fans know that he was "fine...happy" via Twitter after his alleged stalker, Chidi Uzomah was arrested last week. [People]
• "You know, my mother – who was an opera singer – used to use the term as a compliment; it meant a very talented singer. But I looked it up in the dictionary recently and now it also means a difficult and demanding woman. I guess people like to put you in a little box, and that box fits me because I have the big hair, and I wear the tight dresses on stage. But that doesn't mean I'm difficult or nasty."-Mariah Carey, on the word "diva." [Mirror]
• Michael Buble says his breakup with Emily Blunt was "one of the worst and greatest things that ever happened to me. I've learned a lot, I've become a lot more introspective. I've taken the time to get to know myself and to like myself and to respect myself." [DailyExpress]
• "I regret trying to kill Sharon. It wasn't my plan to go out, get p*ssed, try to strangle her and wake up in jail. My best moment was being successful on my own after Black Sabbath. And having my kids. And getting sober."- Ozzy Osbourne [Mirror]

• Michael Lohan says he knows who Lindsay's drug dealer is:

"This guy follows Lindsay all over the place. All over," Papa Lohan claims. "Lindsay pays for him to go everywhere. He has no job. No job. He does nothing. All he does is supply everyone in LA." [NY Post]

• The producers of Sex And The CIty 2 are pulling out all the stops: Penelope Cruz, Miley Cyrus and Liza Minnelli are all confirmed to do cameo appearances. It seems like each will play herself. [Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are in a "bitter pre-nup battle." Does this mean the honeymoon is over? [Radar Online]
• CBS is investigating the Letterman scandal and may air something on CBS News: A source says: "From having talked to some friends there, who are pretty highly placed, they really want to hit this story hard, like any other journalistic story." [NY Observer]
• According to a document dug up by TMZ, David Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants, has a sexual harassment policy, but it does not prohibit sexual liaisons in the office, provided they're not "unsolicited and unwelcome." [TMZ]
• Will Michael Jackson's kids be included in an upcoming reality show about The Jackson family? Janet Jackson is okay with it, but Rebbie Jackson "feels Michael would spin in his grave if he knew his kids would be on the show." [NY Post
• Mel B. says there's a Spice Girls comeback in the works: "We're actually working on it right now. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to spoil the surprise, but it's really, really exciting. I can't wait to be singing with the girls again." [The Sun]
• Pamela Anderson's latest fashion accessory is a nine-year-old girl. [Page Six]
• Roman Polanski is continuing to fight extradition. [NY Times]
• And Roman Polanski is working on a film, The Ghost, — which stars Pierce Brosnan — from his prison cell. It should be out in February. [Telegraph]
• Even though Jon Gosselin told Larry King "it's not healthy for my kids to be on the show," he doesn't seem to mind if cameras film his twins' birthday party, [MSNBC Scoop]
• When Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelly adopted their daughter Naleigh, they mentioned that she had special needs. Now Kelly reveals: "She had two holes in her heart when she was born, so she had open-heart surgery when she was 3 months old." But, he adds: "Naleigh's definitely getting stronger, so much so that she's crawling and starting to pull herself up." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Courtney Love owes $324,335.21 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• Tracy Morgan slams Chris Kattan and Cheri Oteri in his new book. [Gatecrasher, Gawker]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Padma Lakshmi's pregnancy is being called a "miracle" since she had undergone two surgeries or endometriosis. Also , the father is not frequent companion Manu Nathan, who she says is "a cousin and dear friend." [People]
• Your WTF headline of the day: "Drugs, Feces and the Final Days of Anna Nicole Smith." [E!]
• "Anna Nicole Smith's last days: too weak to walk or sit up… The model drifted in and out of consciousness and could drink only from a baby bottle." [LA Times]
• BREAKING: Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford played ping-pong at Susan Sarandon's table tennis joint, SPiN. [Gatecrasher]
• Harry Connick Jr. on that blackface skit in Australia: "I'm pleased with the way I handled the situation." He canceled an autograph session and interviews in Sydney after the show. "It was very hot. It was a subject that was very, very controversial. So we just decided to take a couple of days off. I wasn't worried about physical harm." [AP]
• Click for a pic of Jason Lewis in bed. It's a campaign for Charisma linens. [Gatecrasher]
• Another woman is suing Dr. Phil, claiming she, too, was forced to be in the same room with a naked man.That's two now — three's a trend! [TMZ]
• Zach Braff is alive, despite what you might have seen on Facebook. [Gatecrasher]
• With roles in Glee and Julie & Julia, after being hilarious in Best In Show and A Mighty Wind, "Jane Lynch is having a very big year." [LA Times]
• Robert De Niro's swanky penthouse on top of his TriBeCa hotel is bigger than the Landmark Preservation Committee had originally approved and therefore illegal. When questioned about his apartment, De Niro said, "Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? [Gothamist]
• Pete Wentz is supporting the clean water initiative but will not climb Mount Kilimanjaro like Jessica Biel. He jokes: "I really won't do anything but Everest, because it's the highest." And he says wife Ashlee probably won't, either: "Knowing her, she'd want to do it in Gucci high heels." [Gatecrasher]
• Chris Pine — aka James T. Kirk in Star Trek — is in negotiations to play Jack Ryan in new flicks based on the Tom Clancy novels. [Variety]
• Matthew Perry's new TV show, which NBC was trying to snap up, will end up at ABC instead. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Justin "I'm A Mac" Long joins James McAvoy and Robin Wright Penn in The Conspirator, a historical drama about Confederate sympathizer tried for the Lincoln assasination, directed by Robert Redford. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Lenny Kravitz drinks vodka on stage. [Page Six]
• Um, the Backstreet Boys are still together? And have a new album? Howie D. explains in this interview. [Reuters]
• Unbreak your heart: Toni Braxton has defaulted on mortgage payments and Bank of America is on the verge of foreclosing on her place. [TMZ]
• Jeffrey Tambor (aka George Bluth Sr.) and his wife welcomed twin boys on October 4. [E!]
• Robin Givens: Working on a book and a movie about the first African saint. [Page Six]
• "He's a lot more tender and sweeter than you would ever guess from the show. If I were in trouble he'd be top of my list of people to call, believe it or not - and you'd never guess that from seeing the show, but that's the truth." — Mary Steenburgen on Curb Your Enthusiasm's Larry David. [Mirror]
• "Well, when the doctor said I was pregnant, I heard a voice saying, 'That's the man you're going to marry.' The voice was my mother's." — Marge Simpson, to Playboy. [Page Six]
• "It's not the big, dramatic change that people are making it out to be. [But] she finally gets her braces off!" — America Ferrera on her Ugly Betty transformation. [Gatecrasher]
• "I can't say anything very concrete… I'm facing the possibility to make my first movie in English next year if everything goes well." — Pedro Almodovar. [NY Observer]
• "He made himself, by himself. John and I never wanted to push him into music, so I was prepared that he might become an archaeologist or something. John didn't even want to tell him that he was a Beatle. Sean found out from someone else. One day, he even asked John, 'Were you a Beatle?' But he was always there when I recorded something. I think it started when John and I did Double Fantasy, and John would say that Sean should come. After John's passing, Sean was always there at my recordings. And he experienced it-he remembers that I used this instrument or that instrument. Later, when Sean was in his twenties, I found out that he knew all of the Beatles' songs, all of John's songs and all of my songs-every lyric." — Yoko Ono. [BlackBook]
• "I'm attracted to younger men, no doubt. Yeah, they're cute. I'm like one of the original cougars." — Courteney Cox. [USA Today]
• "Everyone knows you don't date Russell Brand seriously. Russell likes the idea of having a se rious relationship, but when you've got all these different flavors of ice cream offered to you on a plate, you're not going to stick with vanilla, are you? I don't think he's capable of monogamy." — Russell Brand's ex-girlfriend, Georgina Baillie, who thinks Katy Perry will have her heart broken. But what if Katy likes variety too?!?! [NY Post]

[London, September 16. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Did L.A. boutique Maxfield drop Victoria Beckham's dVb in favor of Holmes & Yang? Posh's people say Maxfield hasn't ordered the line for three seasons, and the decision had nothing to do with Katie Holmes, who is Posh's friend. [P6]

• Luckily, old bandmate Mel B says she loves Posh's clothing lines. "I'm going out with Geri and Emma while I'm here — and I'll be wearing one of Victoria's dresses," the singer told a crowd in London. [Daily Mail]
• American Apparel is laying off 1,500 workers — more than 10% of its total workforce — because of immigration violations. When ICE raided its factory in downtown L.A. two months ago, 1,600 workers were found to be unauthorized to work in the U.S., and a further 200 were found to have immigration irregularities. Company founder Dov Charney released a statement saying: "Many of you have been with me for so many years, and I just cry when I think that so many people will be leaving the company. It is my belief that immigrants bring prosperity to any economy." This is the latest in a long line of bad news for the company. From being dogged with sexual harassment lawsuits, to the $5 million settlement it had to pay Woody Allen in May after using his image on billboards without authorization, to this week's reprimand from the British Advertising Standards Authority for "sexualising a child," American Apparel can't seem to keep its house in order. [LATimes]
• There are behind-the-scenes shots of Lily Allen working with Karl Lagerfeld on the new Chanel Cocoon bag campaign. [DailyMail]
• We don't doubt that Patrick Demarchelier is planning to shoot 100 top models in Fashion's Night Out t-shirts outside Bryant Park on September 9, but somehow we think someone got confused when noting that "Iman and her daughter Chanel" would be among them. [WWD]
• OMG! Modelfights on Project Runway: Models Of The Catwalk. [P6]
• If you have any interest in beautiful, softly draped leather jackets, deconstructed tee shirts, or vaguely gothic skintight pants — or if you just want to know where that ubiquitous no-closure wraparound sweater, like a high-fashion snuggie ancestor, that everyone from Alice + Olivia to Eileen Fisher has knocked off came from originally — you need to learn about Rick Owens, now. And how his aesthetic is back in a big way just now. [NYTimes]
• Speaking of which, peep Jennifer Connelly in the British InStyle in Rodarte thigh-high boots and Olivier Theyskens' gothic heel-less 8" runway shoes. [Daily Mail]
• Also big for fall, at least in men's wear: Steve McQueen. [WSJ]
  
• There's a rumor going around that Peter Som is set to become the first creative director of Tommy Hilfiger. [WWD]
• Thom Browne is launching two new lower-priced lines for Spring 2010. [WWD]
• Mark your calendars! She by Sheree, apparently some design offspring of a Real Housewife, is coming to Fashion Week. [People]
• Juergen Teller, who shoots all of Marc Jacobs' campaigns, reports that only one set of images has ever caused any particular controversy — and it's not the ones of a then-12-year-old Dakota Fanning, which even the photographer calls "very hard-core." In Fall of 2006, Jacobs chose makeup artist Dick Page and his partner, James Gibbs, to star in the campaign, and Teller shot the couple making out in the woods outside their home. There was a furor: Men's Vogue even refused to run the ads. [The Moment]
• Kenny Chesney says his new clothing line, Blue Chair Bay, is designed to reflect his life off the stage. "I would wear these clothes in Malibu, East Tennessee, where I'm from, or on my boat in St. John," the singer explained at MAGIC, the apparel trade conference that just ended in Las Vegas. Chesney's apparel partners had an airstream full of clothes and purposefully-weatherbeaten blue wicker chairs parked in their booth at the show. [WWD]
• Daisy Lowe's jewelry line with Swarovski is said to feature pieces inspired by the stars, moon, and planets. [Elle UK]
  
• Derek Lam's CEO, Jan Schottlman, denies the anonymous reports published by Page Six that the company is haemorrhaging money. [The Cut]
• Dooney & Bourke are going back to models for their campaigns after seasons of using actresses. Hayden Panettiere is getting thrown over for Maggie Rizer. [WWD]
• Georgia May Jagger, in her new denim ad: "Hudson jeans. Soft...and blue. And very tight." Descriptive! [TDB]
• Richard Chai is doing a line with Keds. Chai's sneakers, which are canvas and leather in white, grey and black, have silver zippers between the rows of eyelets. They hit stores in January of next year, and pricing information isn't yet available. [WWD]
• Someone painted an entire Spanish Colonial-style bungalow in Louis Vuitton's signature logo print. So long as Britney Spears doesn't use it as the set for her next video, we imagine these folks in Mexicali might be safe from LVMH's lawyers. [BoingBoing via hazmeelchingadofavor]

• For the September issue of Harper's Bazaar, the magazine interviewed Karl Lagerfeld, speaking as Coco Chanel. In character, the Grand Teuton shared such idiotic reflections as: "I was never a feminist because I was never ugly enough for that." [FWD]

• A very painterly, Frenchified image of 90s supe Linda Evangelista made the grade as John Galliano's fall campaign. [SassyBella]
• On Sunday, the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Washington, D.C., hosted an exhibition of the Indonesian batik textiles collected by President Obama's mother, Anne Dunham, during her years in the country. There were traditional Indonesian dance and music performances, and fashion shows from two Indonesian designers. [WWD]
• Victoria Beckham has decided not to renew her contract with Emporio Armani, apparently because she wants to concentrate on her dress line. [UK Vogue]
• Spice Girls svengali Simon Fuller has acquired a 51% stake in Storm, the London model agency that represents such top names as Kate Moss, Jourdan Dunn, Eva Herzigova, and Lily Cole. [Telegraph]
• This fall is going to be an exciting time for designer fast-fashion lines. Unrolling next season at a chain near you: Jimmy Choo for H&M, Stella McCartney for Gap Kids, Anna Sui for Target, Christopher Kane for TopShop, Adam Lippes for Mango, and, uh, Lauren Conrad for Kohl's. [TS]
• Add to that list Jil Sander's hotly anticipated +J line for Uniqlo, which will begin hitting stores in October. The 140-piece collection is believed to start at around $25. [Fashionologie]
• Stars like Mariah Carey, Jessica Simpson, Emeril Lagasse, and Martha Stewart are promoting Macy's "Come Together" program, a special night of dinner parties intended to inspire charitable giving. Americans are asked to host a special dinner in their homes, and solicit donations to Feeding America, in lieu of any gifts for the host. Macy's will match those donations until enough money has been raised to serve 10 million meals to poor families this fall and winter. You can register a dinner party or get new information at Come Together. [People]
• Are you a man? Are you really, really ridiculously good-looking? Have you ever dreamed of becoming a Calvin Klein underwear model? Do you live in one of nine European countries? In that case, you might be in luck: to launch a new underwear line, Calvin Klein is holding a model search. Jamie Dornan will be one of the judges. [WWD]
• "She's like, 'What about Maximilian? Bruno? Sebastian? Hector? Guido?' I always tell her I'll put it on my list." Karolina Kurkova's Slovak mother sure does have interesting taste in baby boy names. [USAToday]
• Donald Fisher, the Gap founder, and his wife Doris spent the last 50 years collecting art by such eminent figures as Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein, and Alexander Calder. But San Francisco preservationists have nixed the Fishers' plans to build a museum in the Presidio, a historic military base inside the city. The Fishers would prefer to keep the priceless collection in San Francisco, perhaps at the De Young or at the SFMOMA, but after the rejection of their standalone museum idea, other art museums are actively wooing the couple. [LATimes]
• Australian Merino lambs are routinely mulesed — that is, they have the skin around their buttocks cut off, often without anaesthetic, to prevent a disease called flystrike, which occurs when flies lay maggots in the folds of the lambs' skin, and those maggots then commence eating the animals' flesh. Although flystrike is horrifying, many animal rights activists are even more aghast at the mulesing, and with Australian farmers now announcing that they will fail to meet an agreed-upon 2010 deadline for ending the practice, some top fashion chains are discussing a ban on Australian merino wool. In which case, might I suggest New Zealand merino as an alternative? New Zealand is already phasing out mulesing. [Guardian]
• Heidi Klum had to close her five-year-old jewelry line because of a trademark infringement lawsuit from Van Cleef & Arpels, who objected to her use of its signature clover design. "We stopped because we had a lawsuit with Van Cleef & Arpels — they wanted to have the clover, even though our designs had never matched," said the supermodel. "I think when you're a small company, which we are, we're not a Van Cleef — they have a thousand lawyers. I'm a small fry next to that." [LATimes]
• Imagine the delicate hell of being a parts model: "Most people can walk away from work when they're done with a job, but parts models can't, because [our parts] have to be flawless. I moisturize 20 to 30 times a day, and wear gloves 90 percent of the time," says hand model Ashley Covington. [CNN]
• Coach C.E.O. Lew Frankfort, who has been with the company for 30 years, extended his contract until 2013. [Crain's]
• Paula Dorf cosmetics is bankrupt. The company filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, owing more than 50 creditors a total of $3.9 million. [Crain's]
• K Swiss lost $11.5 million in the second quarter of this year. Last year, they made a $26.4 million profit in the same period. [WWD]
• Astoundingly, high-end children's clothing is also suffering in this economy. A Connecticut store that sold $995 Peter Som girls' dresses close its doors this summer, and companies are dialing back their kids lines. [WSJ]
• A new strategy in the open question of how, and whom, to sue over the online trade in counterfeit luxury goods: after the failure to get auction sites like eBay held accountable — L'Oréal lost its multi-million-dollar suit, and Steve Madden had to drop its lawsuit just last week — Gucci has hit upon suing the credit card processing companies. The lawsuit accuses the companies of facilitating the sale of fake purses, and names the companies "full partners in those counterfeiting activities." Gucci has already wrangled a $5.2 million settlement from the Laurette Company, which runs the website TheBagAddiction.com, where counterfeit bags were often sold, and the credit card processing companies are those companies which worked closely with Laurette. [Reuters]

• As mentioned yesterday, after Perez Hilton insulted Fergie, Perez and Will.I.Am had a confrontation in which Perez said:

"I don't need to respect you, and you're a fag. You're gay, and stop being such a faggot." GLAAD is not happy! A spokesperson for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation says: "These are vulgar antigay slurs that feed a climate of hatred and intolerance toward our community. For someone in our own community to use it to attack another person by saying that it is 'The worst possible thing that thug would ever want to hear,' is incredibly dangerous. It legitimizes use of a slur that is often linked to violence against our community. And it sends a message that it is OK to attempt to dehumanize people by exploiting antigay attitudes." [E!]

• Fergie's husband Josh Duhamel on the Perez kerfluffle: "When you get rich saying hateful things sometimes you ask for it… It's an unfortunate incident and I hope it goes away." [ET Online]
• Tila Tequila has gone off on Perez Hilton. From her Twitter: "you are such a whiney bitch! quit crying ur not a star." And! "I will not be like other celebs who are afraid of him and kiss his ass! i am not afraid of Perez Hilton. He knows he can't fuck with me." Plus: "I find it ironic that Perez talks shit about people all day long. He calls people faggot yet bashes Miss California. Perez Hilton is a bitch." [ONTD]
• Oh snap: Kirstie Alley also went off, making fun of Perez by Tweeting: "Will.I.Am? You am my new hero… smack!!! Wah wah wah… ouch ouch my eye… ouch ouch ouch call 911 boo hoo ouch." [ONTD]
• John Mayer joined the Perez hate on Twitter. [Pop Dirt]
• And Kelly Clarkson says no one will pity Perez and she would give her left arm to look as pretty as Fergie does. [ONTD]
• Polo Molina, the manager of the Black Eyed Peas, is the one who hit Perez and has turned himself in. Perez says to Will.I.Am : "I'd have more respect for you if you hit me yourself - you're a coward. Violence is never the answer. Fuck you, will.i.am, for lying. Shame on you. I did not deserve what happened to me. I have lost all respect for all of you and the Black Eyed Peas. And Fergie, you're fugly." Stay classy. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jail 'Break' For Rihanna Ex: Beater Brown Gets Off Easy With Assault Plea." [NY Post]
• RIP Ed McMahon: 1923-2009. [Post Chronicle]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin announced that they are separating on last night's show. (And court documents show they have filed for divorce.) This columnist speculates that Jon will become a C-list celeb and Kate will be watched closely — people will be expecting her to cross the line or make a misstep with the kids. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "It still remains to be seen how TLC will handle the episodes of Jon & Kate shot before the divorce papers were filed - and now instantly dated. The channel has made a huge 40-episode order for the show's fifth season." [Variety]
• Cameron Diaz got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday, and Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Lucy Liu were there to celebrate with her. [People]
• Scenes from a lunch with Betty White and Cloris Leachman! It's hilarious. Cloris says of the tunic she makes for her clothing line, Clorisline: "It looks so pretty. Just tie it, put on some jewelry, go out to dinner and get drunk." Betty has quips too — just read it. [USA Today]
• Amy Winehouse wishes to become a permanent resident of St, Lucia! The weed must be really, really good. [Gatecrasher]
• Readers of Heat magazine in the UK have voted Robert Pattinson as the sexiest man on the planet. Blinded by the sparkles! [Mirror]
• BREAKING: Miley Cyrus makes money. [TMZ]
• David Beckham won "substantial" libel damages over a newspaper's claim that he "made a play" for a model. The story was printed on the front page of The Daily Star in April, and Beckham's lawyer called the allegation "serious and defamatory" and "untrue." The newspaper has retracted. [Mirror]
• OMG: A movie with Cher and Christina Aguilera? So much hair! So little wardrobe! So much attitude! [Variety]
• Even though there were reports that Anna Faris and Chris Pratt had wed in Hawaii, Anna's rep says: "it's not true." [Daily Express]
• A dude who played a gangster in Slumdog Millionaire has been accused of threatening the owner of a production company — demanding roles in films! [Times Of India]
• Lauryn Hill canceled all of her European tour dates; Wyclef Jean will stand in for her at the Montreux Jazz Festival. [Reuters]
• One of the co-executive producers of Heroes has abruptly left the show. [NY Mag]
• One of Candy Spelling's former employees claims Candy fired her for complaining about being overworked and underpaid. [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has gotten a crude X tattooed over the tattoo of her estranged husband's name on her wrist. It looks bad. (But the pix of her gallivanting on a powerboat near Ibiza look awesome.) [Daily Mail]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has ever-so-eloquently Tweeted: "pete being a true cunt to me ! he left me nt me leave him." [The Sun, Twitter]
• The Spice Girls made a ton of cash last year, from touring. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which hot young bachelor has (quite disappointingly) revealed himself to be a totally awful kisser?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was broke at the time and this was my chance to make a few bucks, so I jumped at the opportunity to record for my first time in a professional studio. The work I did back then in no way reflects the music I am currently in the studio working on. I'm thrilled to be working with some of today's hottest songwriters and producers and can't wait for people to hear what my music really sounds like." — Adam Lambert is not a fan of his song, "Want," recorded before American Idol. [NY Daily News]
• "I think crime here is shocking and knife crime is shocking and everyone must do what they can to be safe." — Kevin Spacey finds London a wee dangerous. [Telegraph]
• "I recently gave a self-esteem workshop for Girl Scouts in Nashville, and I told the girls that I wasn't a role model for my weight, because I change. Sometimes I'm thicker when I'm around my family and I'm eating more. Sometimes I'm thinner because I'm on the road and that takes a lot out of me. But I do feel it's important to talk to girls about weight. They see these images, and there's no way they'll ever live up to them. I want them to see someone who is real and know they don't have to live up to anything." — Kelly Clarkson. [Reader's Digest]
• "I have a very serious regime of starvation and stress. I have gotten meaner as I have gotten thinner. I'm like the lost Olsen triplet." — Kathy Griffin. [WWD]
• "Everybody is unique. They're both very beautiful and they're both kind of sexy gals. Maybe Megan will start doing the things that Angie is so well known for. [Angie] is obviously known for her helping with kids and concern for others. I think that would be wonderful for all of the kids [if Megan were to do the same]. Megan can do a lot of good, so that would be great." — Jon Voight, on the similarities between his daughter Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. And yes, he said his daughter was sexy. [Life &Style]

• The first pictures of Lindsay Lohan's foray into cosmetics have been released: at left, the often-orange starlet shilling for a spray tan called Sevin Nyne. [People]

• Sojin Lee, formerly of online pioneers Net-a-porter.com, and Simon Fuller, the man who gave you the Spice Girls and Roland Mouret, are starting an internet fashion business together. [WWD]
• Times critic Cathy Horyn went to a Chanel party, found Olivier Zahm and Stefano Pilati and no champagne. So she had a Bud. [The Moment]
• "When I'm wearing a hoodie, it looks like I just threw a hoodie on. I'm wearing what I discovered and figured out is the best hoodie I can find. And I'll tell you, if you ever want to know the best hoodie, I know the best hoodie." Whatever you say, John Mayer. [FabSugar]
• Editors are picking designers instead of models for their covers lately. Diane von Furstenberg graced Purple (and the issue promptly sold out) last month. Perhaps noting their success, this month i-D has Miuccia Prada on the front. [Fashionista]
• In case you need to be reminded why models can make great cover choices (perhaps your name is Anna Wintour?), the Times' "The Moment" blog has this neat feature where you can slide your cursor over a photo of Kasia Struss or Jourdan Dunn to see how the makeup and hair looks at the shows come together. Latest additions: Jean Paul Gaultier and Dior. [The Moment]
• And, on balance, why they might not: "I'm not your cheesy girl that's going to dress up in a hokey outfit and say all the sound bites that you want me to say," says Erin Wasson. No, Erin, you're certainly not! [Daily Beast]
• Sean Avery's fashion friends came out to support him at his first Rangers game since that internship at Vogue. Even the guy who works the door at the Beatrice showed up. Who says this business doesn't foster loyal and real connections? [Observer]
• There are pictures of Roberto Cavalli's new Cavalli Pets dog clothing line. The line includes a satin trimmed bath robe. For your dog. And leopard-printed shearling jackets. For your dog. [The Cut]
• Roberto Cavalli also sells sex toys. The inimitable New York drag queen Lady Bunny mentioned them to Fashion Week Daily, although she does say they're kinda small. [Racked]
• Model blind item: "Whicih two veteran models got into a "full-on serious fistfight" in a Paris nightclub this Fashion Week? The fight was so démodé, Uncle Karl himself had to break it up." Invitations to name the offenders or improvise the Kaiser's dialogue in the comments. [Fashionista]
• Freida Pinto says the news she is going to be a face of Estée Lauder is "but a lovely rumor." [WWD]
• "Beauty, economy, and usefulness are the best rules for the well-dressed woman," said Depression-era American fashion designer Muriel King. It's sound advice for today. If you're in New York City, you'd do well to check out the new exhibit of King's work at the Museum at FIT. King was a painter who got into fashion when she became an illustrator for publications like Vogue and Women's Wear Daily — eventually she hired patternmakers and garment workers to turn her original sketches into reality. [Style.com]
• And laundry detergent is the new fashion must-have. Tim Gunn says so. (And we can all agree with lower drycleaning bills.) [WSJ]
• Although J. Crew recently instituted cost-cutting measures including layoffs, a wage freeze, and suspending company matching of 401(k) contributions, the retailer's fourth quarter losses still reached $13.5 million, because of weak sales. However, because analysts had expected even bigger losses, their stock price rose. [Crain's]
• Interestingly, they still have plans to open more stores. [WWD]
• Liz Claiborne CEO Bill McComb lives in New Jersey. His misfortune is lessened by the fact that his company pays $10,500 in monthly rent to maintain a New York apartment for his occasional overnight stays in the city. Liz Claiborne's revenues shrank 10% last year, as same-store sales at Claiborne-owned Juicy Couture, Lucky Brand, Kate Spade, and Mexx all dropped by over 12%. The company announced its plays to lay off 8% of its workforce in February. [Crain's]
• Charlotte Russe is offering itself up for sale. [Dealbook]
• Neiman Marcus's quarterly loss: $509.2 million. Sales in the three months ended January 31 fell by over 20%. [WSJ]
• Comparatively speaking, American Eagle's modest fourth quarter profit of $32.7 million is a relief, in that it's not a loss. Revenue fell 9% on a year ago, and the company says the results are disappointing overall. [The Street]
• That L'Oreal/eBay legal wrangle over the sale of counterfeit goods online has been delayed in the French courts. [WWD]
• In honor of Young Buck's announcement that his clothing line, David Brown, is no more, Complex magazine has a look back at the top ten failed rapper clothing lines, including Master P's No Limit Clothing, and Fat Joe's FJ560. [Complex]
• Who else but Heidi Klum drove the Barbie dream car to the Barbie dream house in Malibu. [FWD]

• Wanna see Posh's designs, complete with lampshades and elephant-trunk headpieces? Check out the new commercial for her fashion line. [Fashionista]
• "The video sees various models taking inspiration from Posh’s own ads for Marc Jacobs last season by hiding themselves all over a large mansion – behind drawers, in carrier bags, hanging behind doors, turning themselves into lamp shades and transforming themselves into an elephant." [Sassybella]
• Says Posh: “Being in the Spice Girls, fashion-wise probably didn't open any doors. If anything it shut doors and I've had to bang them down.” [Times Online]
• A New York bridal shop is knocking off the Vivienne Westwood wedding gown in which Carrie Bradshaw was jilted. [New York Post]

• Notify jeans classifies butts into three categories. [Guanabee]
• Apparently Katie Holmes is surrounded by a whole gaggle of other moddles for her ballyhooed Miu Miu campaign. [New York]
• Uniqlo beats the odds, is up 32%. [WWD]
• This, we like: Kate Moss is teaming up with Liberty to use their classic floral prints in her next Top Shop collection. [WWD]
• "Liberty are already working with Topshop on a lingerie collaboration, which launched in stores yesterday, though exactly how Moss will use the London store's iconic prints is still under wraps." [ElleUK]
• Michelle Obama's Vogue cover's not a sure thing. Neither, apparently is Anna Wintour's job! [New York]
• Meanwhile, Michelle continues to boost young designers: the latest beneficiary is Jason Wu. [WSJ]
• Oh noes! J. Crew and Bloomies knocked out on a prime shopping day by website malfunctions. [Crains]
• So why is the entire payroll of NBC in this batch of holiday Gap ads? [Jossip]
• Luxury luggage gets extra-ridiculous to woo reluctant jet-setters. [IHT]
• Zara's founder is funding alternative energy solutions in Spain. [Business Week]
• Pre-fall collection peeks for Versace, DKNY, Alexander Wang, Armani, Missoni! [WWD]
• Supermodel Miranda Kerr has been replaced as the face of Australia's oldest department store. [AdAge]
• The “2009 Shop with a Conscience Consumer Guide" is a cheat-sheet to apparel made under ethical conditions. [WWD]
• Helena Christensen's line for Pilgrim jewelry is "typically, ethnically-inspired and feminine, in both delicate orchid-pastels and strong, spicy colours, priced between £10 and £100." [Telegraph]
• Victoria's Secret tries to go higher-end with a new flagship, "a level of elegance that casts the flirty and frilly lingerie and romantic beauty products in a softer, luxurious light." [WWD]

• Barneys Creative Director Simon Doonan and designer Jonathan Adler were wed yesterday at City Hall in San Francisco! This article states that they "sealed the union with a spirited sprint down the glorious grand staircase." Mr. Doonan wore a Liberty print shirt, Barneys Co-op jeans, a Prada V-neck and a Thom Browne velvet jacket. Mr. Adler wore Barneys Co-op jeans, V-neck, a Fred Perry sweater, and Adidas sneakers. [SFGate, Photo by Thor Swift]
• If Prop. 8 passes in California, "it would be the first time in American history that an existing minority right would be taken away by the vote of a majority." The Christian conservatives are ahead, in terms of fundraising. Karen Ocamb's article indicates that Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, Sir Elton John and Melissa Etheridge have not donated to the cause to fight Prop 8, according to the California Secretary of State’s Campaign Finance website. Ocamb writes: "While their visibility as openly LGBT celebrities and entertainment power players is important, their financial absence from the specific fight to save the fundamental right of same-sex couples to marry is hurting." [In L.A. Magazine]
• Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in All My Sons last night and Tom Cruise loved it. "It was extraordinary," he says. [Yahoo News]

• Heidi Klum is freaking out about hosting the Emmys on Sunday. She says: "I get nervous when so many people are looking at me. It’s live and you go on stage and no one asks questions. To go out and just talk is terrifying." Heidi, when it doubt, say "deezigners." Everyone loves that! [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Ivana Trump flew coach. [Page Six]
• Pink's song about heartbreak, "So What," is her first No.1 song on Billboard's Hot 100. She says the track is not entirely autobiographical, but the opening line is, "I guess I just lost my husband." (Watch the video!) [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman speaks about her baby and her hubby! She says: "To be given the blessing of a child at this stage of my life was wonderful." She also claims she and Keith can't stand to be away from each other. "We start to hurt after seven days. I've never wanted to live my life apart from the person I love. If you're going to be with someone, you're with them, you’re committed to them. I'm not sort of flitting around. If I fall, I fall — that's it. We gently fell into each other. We were two lonely people who went, 'Ah, there you are.'" [The Sun]
• After shooting 30 Rock with Oprah, Tina Fey says: "I would like to announce that we are officially best friends." [Chicago Tribune]
• You know how Amy Poehler is getting her own show? Will Arnett will be on it! Her husband! [Onion AV Club]
• Justin Timberlake is planning on writing a song for his friend Ellen DeGeneres and her new bride Portia de Rossi. "I actually made them a promise and I'm gonna stick to it," he says. Let you whip me if I misbehave… [UPI]
• Simon Cowell uses so much Botox he can no longer scowl. He says: "To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It simply works. You do it once a year — who cares?" Um, Simon, do you only brush your teeth only once a year?? [The Sun]
• George Clooney's character in Burn After Reading uses a sex ramp; apparently sales of this item are suddenly up. [Daily Express]
• Katherine Heigl earns about 22 times what her Grey's Anatomy costar Ellen Pompeo makes, thanks to her film career. (Other Grey's salaries are compared here, too.) [Portƒolio]
• Val Kilmer as the governor of New Mexico? Bill Richardson says yes! "I like the idea. Val Kilmer is a New Mexican; he was Batman. You know there have been successful actors going into politics." [Shakesville]
• Last night, Audrina Patridge maybe moved out of the house that she shared with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth. Plus: Rumors are swirling that she's getting her own spin-off show. Please let JustinBobby be in it! [TMZ]
• Oooh the Jack White/Alicia Keys Bond theme! It's called "Another Way To Die." Listen here. [Concrete Loop]
• So you know how Robert Downey Jr. is going to play Sherlock Holmes in a flick directed by Guy Ritchie? Jude Law will play Watson. [Ain't It Cool]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali will do another 13 episodes of their cooking show; this time in Italy. [Perez Hilton]
• Contrary to reports, two of Paris Hilton's dogs were NOT eaten by a coyote. [Page Six, People]
• Pat O'Brien is leaving The Insider. [People]
• Ryan O'Neal's lawyer says: "Those were not Ryan's drugs, he doesn't use drugs." [People]
• Gary Coleman's lawyer says "he did nothing wrong." This comes after Coleman allegedly ran over a dude who tried to take his picture with a camera phone. [People]
• Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu tour: "Overloaded with blinding dazzle, pyrotechnics and gaudy style over substance. The myriad production numbers were reminiscent of a poor Vegas revue and emotionally distant, the band and backup singers bolstering her vocals hidden away, leaving one to wonder if some — or most — of it was prerecorded." [Reuters]
• Is Britney Spears getting special treatment for her driving without a valid license trial? [AP]
• Broke oil "heir" Brandon Davis owes money all over town. [Page Six]
• Is Kathy Griffin moving her Life On The D-List show from Bravo to some other network? [Page Six]
• Denise Richards' show: Getting canceled? [Page Six]
• Joan Prather of Eight Is Enough was arrested after dragging an L.A. County Sheriff's deputy down the Pacific Coast Highway with her car. [TMZ]
• China's Ugly Betty is not ugly enough. [Guardian]
• Speaking of Ugly Betty, America Ferrera says Henry and Gio will be back on Season 3. [EW]
• Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez: Officially divorced. That was quick! [TMZ]
• LL Cool J is pissed because Jessica Simpson's album beat his on the charts. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood's estranged wife says: "I'm enjoying my new freedom." [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher doesn't know how to spell step-daughter Tallulah's name. [Perez Hilton]
• Does Playboy treat black women like crap? [TMZ]
• The Spice Girls have beaten Led Zeppelin for an award for the best music reunion. Girl powah! [BBC News]
• Tracy Chapman is releasing her first new album in years, and you can listen to a track here. [Perez Hilton]
• "I do believe in marriage… But I just think for me, it’s not a desperate kind of thing. In America it’s definitely something that seems to be a major goal with every woman – the big wedding day. I don’t need that. I want total commitment and spiritual connection, and I am lucky because that’s what I’ve got. One of the things that first attracted me to my boyfriend is his brain. He’s very well-read and really sexy to me. Brains are the most important thing to me, because I feel I lack them. I want them from the man I am with. I love a well-read man – that is such a turn-on." — Eva Mendes. [Mirror]

[Toronto, Canada; February 26. Images via INFDaily.com]

Earlier: Cruz Beckham Pops & Locks At Spice Girls Concert

Everything about Geri has always been more awesome. Topless photos, drag queen hair, children's books based on the Spice Girls, humanitarian work, no plans for another solo vanity project because "When I see how desperate people are for that chance, I realize I've had my turn, and now I have to let it go" — okay, whatever but. I even cheered silently for Geri when she finally — and healthily! — lost those stubborn extra pounds that kept her from looking attractive in white humanitarian celebrity outfits like this. Wherefore the Poshtardedness?

The Congressman Yields The Floor To Miss Spice [Washington Post]

• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden were seen partying Grammy weekend, so some random source says, "It's almost as if they aren't parents." Kind of a cheap shot. But yeah, the nanny is apparently working overtime. Mom and dad need to party! [Page Six]
  
• Guess who was on the set when Lindsay Lohan posed nude for Bert Stern's Marilyn Monroe-inspired New York magazine shoot? Not momager Dina, but 14-year-old little sis, Ali. Picking up tips on how to behave? [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Dad Jamie tells Britney's new bodyguards not to let her go to a bar or bathroom alone. Also, when she left a restaurant Saturday, she took a cup of coffee with her. [Page Six]
  
• Britney's ongoing custody case reconvenes in court today. First order of business: Who will rep Brit? The firm of Trope and Trope bailed. [E!]
  
• If you find Bindi Irwin vaguely terrifying, wait until you see her doll. [TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Robert Irwin, 4-year-old son of Steve, was bitten by a baby boa constrictor. "He said, 'I hope it wasn't venomous,'" his mom claims. (It wasn't.) [AP]
• Blind item! "The sobriety of which troubled starlet probably isn't being helped by the fact that her uncle deals weed out of the spare room in her mom's house?" [Gatecrasher]
• Jessica Simpson appears in a workout video, but she doesn't want you to see it! Even though she signed a multimillion dollar contract, she changed her mind and refused to give final approval. Speedfit is suing Jess and her dadager. Hey, it can't be any worse than Blonde Ambition. [Page Six]
• Do Michael Bolton's kids hate his fiancée Nicolette Sheridan? Do you care? [Rush & Molloy]
• Desperate Housewives' Marcia Cross's pregnancy: Life-threatening! "My eyesight started going, and I gained 12 pounds in one week," she says. "Both are symptoms of preeclampsia, a complication that is life-threatening for mother and baby. Within 12 hours of being diagnosed - at 35 weeks - I had a C-section." She now has twins, Eden and Savannah. [Rush & Molly]
• The new season of Dancing With The Stars will feature tennis star Moncia Seles, actress Shannon Elizabeth, magician Penn Jillette, actress Marlee Matlin and TV "personality" Adam Carolla, among others. Click for the full list! [People]
• Spencer Pratt on Heidi Montang's new album: "Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming - they're gonna sell 10-million plus." LOL. [People]
• Scarlett Johansson: "I learned I was a sexual being through David Bowie's songs." Thanks for sharing! [Mirror]
• Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson spent Valentine's evening together? Drinking at a pub? Harry + Hermione = ♥! [Mirror]
• There's a Bon Jovi documentary in the works, people. Who wants to bet it will be called Livin' On A Prayer? [UPI]
• "I feel at great pain when the spotlight is on the death of 4,000 American soldiers, while 600,000 Iraqi deaths are ignored. War is not a movie, it is a tragedy of dead bodies, victims, the disabled, orphans, widows and the displaced." — Sharon Stone. [AP]
• The driver of The Spice Girls' tour bus saw a car driving erratically. He called 911; it turned out to be a carjacking. The Spice Girls (and their driver) save the day! [AP]
• Oh! And The Spice Girls want to play Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday in June. Not that they've been asked. Yet. [Reuters]
• Brooke Shields' mother tells the National Enquirer that she's disappointed in Brooke and liked ex-husband Andre Agassi better than current hubs Chris Henchy. Sigh. [MSNBC]
• Pictures of Jennifer Lopez' twins will be on People in the US, but OK! internationally. [MSNBC]
• Monopoly, kitchen edition! Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia will acquire Emeril Lagasse's media and licensed properties. [Wall Street Journal]
• Mandy Moore's always been afraid of going on vacation alone. But she did it and had a great time, so is now the chair of uPumpItUp.com, a site aimed at helping women balance their "wellness." [Reuters]
• Olivia Newton-John is planning to walk along the Great Wall of China to raise money for a cancer charity. Does part of you wish she would do the walk in tight shiny black pants while singing, "You better shape up/cuz I need a man/And my heart is set on you..." ? [Reuters]

• "Of course I am a Spice Girls fan. I love everything that teenage girls love. I am the oldest teenage girl." That's Michael Kors, who went to see the Spice Girls when they performed in the New York area this week. Other fashion world luminaries who showed up the concert to hear such sonic gems as "Two become One": ELLE editor-in-chief Roberta Myers and fashion director Nina Garcia, Harper's Bazaar EIC Glenda Bailey, and Vogue European editor-at-large Hamish Bowles. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• "They're the most exciting thing since Warhol," says Vogue's Andre Leon Talley of English rockers/designers Rodnik. So enamored is he that he was willing to give up his front-row seat at Proenza Schouler last week so that he could join the Rodnik designers in the standing room area. [Vogue UK]
  
• Marc Jacobs: Fond of male escorts! [NY Daily News]
  
• The Times of India asks: Is fashion industry caste and gender biased? We're gonna go out on a limb and say "yeah." [TOI]

• Lilly Pulitzer is launching its very first fragrance. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Beauty product name or adult film title? [BellaSugar]
• Cynthia Rowley is now entering the wild world of mother-daughter fragrances, the very thought of which makes us throw up a little in our mouths. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Oh God: Hannah Montana shampoo??? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Luella Bartley: Now designing tees to fund kids going to the dentist in Colombia. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Who needs YouTube when there's ShoeTube? [UPI]

• Brad Pitt was out with Zahara when a paparazzo got a leeetle bit too close. Brad grabbed the guy's collar and said, "Get the fuck away from me!" Oooh, AggroDaddy! [E!]
  
• The Spice Girls tour ends February 26 in Toronto and was fun while it lasted, but "probably won't happen ever again," Ginger says. Sorry, folks: You'll have to get your girl power somewhere else. [Reuters]
  
• Lindsay Lohan "fluttered" back and forth between Adrian Grenier and Leonardo DiCaprio at a club in West Hollywood Tuesday. Also: LL was drinking vodka and champagne. Where's that SCRAM when you need it? [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Paul McCartney sent a bouquet of lilies to Heather Mills on the eve of their first day in divorce court. Attached was a note that read, "Please remember you and I are both human and have one very special person in common. Please let's not forget this when we are in court. Whatever happens, our daughter comes first." Very admirable. Gentlemanly, even. No? [Mirror]

• Carson Daly went back to work on Last Call during the writers strike — now NBC has cut the show's budget and fired most of his writers. How's that for a punch line? [Deadline Hollywood]
• A lawyer in NYC has filed papers in federal court asking that Britney's conservatorship case be taken away from the L.A. court, stating: "It is doubtful that Ms. Spears can receive equal protection and a fair trial or hearing in the custody proceedings because of the intense media scrutiny of what would normally be private aspects of a person's life." Wait, what? Plus! No one knows who hired this lawyer. Crazy. [TMZ]
• Britney's brother has been named as the trustee of his sister's trust. Definitely keep it in the family and away from the hangers-on! [TMZ]
• Also, Brit's conservatorship has been extended to March 10. And! Sam Lutfi has still not been served with that damn restraining order, even though Britney's dad's attorney swears they staked out is residence and "did many things we do not want to discuss right now." That Lutfi dude is slippery. [USA Today]
• Today is the one-year anniversary of Britney's head-shaving. Raise your razors. [TMZ]
• Pam Anderson is in Paris campaigning for the protection of baby seals. She's working with Brigitte Bardot's animal rights foundation, and BB said to Pam, "You are my Valentine, I kiss you," via speakerphone. Kinda cute! [Reuters]
• Ted Danson is calling for the planet's oceans to be protected from overfishing and mercury contamination. He and Pam should go on the road! [AP]
• To get back at Sarah Silverman for singing "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Jimmy Kimmel is making a video called "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck." Hmm, Sarah still wins this round. [Page Six]
• Bono and artist Damien Hirst hosted an auction last night that raised more than $40 million for AIDS relief. Also attending the (RED) benefit: Queen Noor, Michael Stipe, Dennis Hopper, Martha Stewart, Christy Turlington, Ed Burns, Q-Tip, Helena Christensen, Brian Williams and Anna Wintour. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Don't panic, but which pint-size actress who recently sucked face with her celebutard best friend is being romanced by an equally tiny emo rocker, whom she met at a disco during the Grammys?" [Rush & Molloy]
• John Mayer downed sake shots with some folks from TMZ. What a wonderful world. [TMZ]
• Oasis singer Liam Gallagher married his longtime girlfriend, All Saints singer Nicole Appleton, yesterday. They've been together 8 years and have a 6-year-old son. Keeping in the tradition of the Oasis rivalry, Liam didn't tell his brother Noel about the nuptials. What's the story, morning glory? [People]
• In a just-published interview conducted before Heath Ledger's death, a post-breakup Michelle Williams said: "I thought I knew certain things and it turned out that I didn't, so I don't really try and anticipate so much anymore. I'm not making any bets on the future." [People]
• A construction worker who admitted to strangling actress Adrienne Shelly pleaded guilty to manslaughter yesterday. Shelly, who wrote, directed and co-starred in Waitress, was killed by the man after he robbed her apartment; he then hung her body to make it look like a suicide. [USA Today]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown: It's so on. [Concrete Loop]
• Hey, so that model in the Kanye West video will sell you her used underwear, if you're interested. She says she wears each pair of panties "long enough to transfer my 'natural' scent." Good morning! [Rush & Molloy]
• The Dept. of Animal Services went to Paris Hilton's house yesterday to investigate a complaint about her dogs. The city of L.A. has a three-dogs-per-address rule; Paris, on Ellen, claimed she has 17 dogs. Anyway, her house is under construction at the moment so no one was home. [TMZ]
• Bai Ling claims she shoplifted mags at the airport because it was an "emotionally crazy" day; she was breaking up with her man. On Valentine's Day??? "Wrong boyfriend," she says. [People]
• Bai Ling's mugshot! [TMZ]

• Fergie: Pregnant? Sources say she and Josh Duhamel are moving up the wedding date because she doesn't want the bump to be too obvious. Honestly, she did seem a wee soft in the face when she was singing with John Legend at the Grammys, but it looked good. [Page Six]
  
• Also on Grammy night: Dita Von Teese was seen "getting snuggly" with Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean? Wait, what? [Page Six]
  
• And Lindsay Lohan Paris Hilton was seen "aggressively trying" to get with John Mayer. Sigh. [Page Six]
  
• Is Britney going on a world tour? A source says she'll train for a month and then leave the country, getting away from her "friend" Sam Lutfi and boyfriend Adnan Ghalib. [Page Six]
  
• Meanwhile, Britney's father got permission to fire her business manager, whom he does not trust. [People]
  
• Although taking control of her finances is tough, because Britney is an adult. [Newsweek]
  
• Lenny Kravitz is in the hospital with severe bronchitis. Get well! [Reuters]

• Ryan Phillippe says his divorce from Reese Witherspoon was "the darkest, saddest place I had ever been" and he couldn't get out of bed for four or five months. [People]
• Uma Thurman: "I'd like more children. I asked the doctor, she said there's still time. I still have the sippy cups." [Page Six]
• The authors of the latest Anna Nicole Smith book are suing their publisher. It's always something. [Gatecrasher]
• Though all of the Spice Girls were in New York this weekend, Posh partied without Ginger, Baby, Sporty and Scary. What happened to "friendship never ends"? [Gatecrasher]
• Nicolas Cage is suing Kathleen Turner for writing that he was arrested twice for DUI and possibly stealing a Chihuahua. "I have never been arrested for anything in my life, nor have I stolen a dog," Nic says. [Rush & Molloy]
• Entourage star Kevin Connolly either did or did not jump some guy at a nightclub and pummel him in the head. The guy filed charges but then called the sheriff's office and said "never mind." [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton dropped her cat at the vet two weeks ago and has yet to pick her up; the woman she adopted the cat from says the cat is now abandoned. But! This seems to be a publicity stunt for the woman's foundation. So whatever. [People]
• Natalie Cole on Amy Winehouse: "I don't think she should have won. I think it sends a bad message to our young people... We have to stop rewarding bad behavior." [People]
• Joel Madden says baby Harlow is a "mama's girl." He also says Nicole Richie is "a wonderful mother and looks really hot already... There's something so attractive about her now. It's a motherly glow." Aw, a compliment wrapped in an insult, sweet! [People]
• Miley Cyrus' new movie features a scene where she's riding in the back seat of a Range Rover — without a seat belt. SCANDAL. [USA Today]
• Sienna Miller told a British court she felt hunted and in a "threatening situation" when paparazzi chased her car across London in an attempt to find out where she lived. One day one of these aggro-pap stories is going to end very badly. [USA Today]
• On the 25th anniversary of Thriller, Michael Jackson thanks his fans and promises new music. Meanwhile, the old stuff is awesome! [USA Today]
• Relive some Michael Jackson memories here. [Rolling Stone]
• Michelle Williams is back in New York after attending Heath Ledger's funeral in Australia. [People]
• John Ritter's family is suing the doctors who treated him before he died; attorneys say because Ritter never got a chest X-ray, he got the wrong treatment, leading to his death. [Reuters]
• Gwyneth Paltrow may adopt a baby from Brooklyn; "I'm a New York girl," she says. [Mirror]
• Denise Richards' new reality show for E! will focus on her life as a single mom. Ryan Seacrest is producing. No comment. [Variety]
• Shrek The Musical: Coming to Broadway in December. [USA Today]

• Rumor has it that Victoria Beckham will follow her appearance on the cover of Elle and the Marc Jacobs ad campaigns with the April Vogue cover. [Sassybella]
  
• Speaking of: "No size zeros here!" say the Spice Girls when interviewed alongside Roberto Cavalli by International Herald Tribune fashion critic Suzy Menkes in Milan yesterday. Um, sure. [IHT]
  
• Alessandra Ambrosio is the latest Victoria's Secret angel to get knocked up. Ambrosio is allegedly "several" months along. And to whom did she choose to confide this intimate knowledge? The Hilton sisters, of course. [Page Six]
  
• Sucks to be Bergdorf Goodman's mens fashion director Tommy Fazio: Sucker got ousted from his front-row seat at the Versace's menswear show Saturday so that Beyonce's bodyguard could have some place to sit. Yeah, maybe you wondered where Beyonce gets off thinking she needs a bodyguard in a room full of emaciated models and juice-fasting gays, but you can never be too careful these days, what with the whole Benazir Bhutto thing. [Page Six]

• French Vogue editor-in-chief Carine Roitfeld's daughter Julia Restoin-Roitfeld is designing the Fashion Week invites for both Peter Som and Frank Tell. We'd maybe chalk this up to nepotism, but Jesus Christ, invites? Do we even care? Why are we even reading this? Oh right, because it's Carine Roitfeld's daughter.[Daily Chic]
• Yves Saint Laurent designer Stefano Pilati thinks he's super-duper hi-tech. Why, you might ask? Because he's showing his menswear collection this season in a short film. Wow. Next he's going to tell us he's traded in his cassette tapes for these newfangled things called compact discs. [Vogue UK]
• Gucci is issuing a limited edition accessories line, Gucci Hearts NY, to be sold exclusively in the Gucci 5th avenue flagship store. Somehow we think tourists are being targeted with this one? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Coldwater Creek's profits are in the toilet. Is global warming taking a toll on the Christmas sweater market? [The Street]
• English retailer Marks & Spencer has teamed with Oxfam to launch a new initiative where customers get M&S gift certificates in exchange for bringing in clothes to donate to Oxfam. But in case you were wondering, lingerie, underwear, swimwear, hosiery and socks can't be donated. Um, thank goodness. [Guardian]
• Lover of the dance Calvin Klein designer Francisco Costa is designing the costumes for the 27th-annual Elisa Monte Dance Gala, which begins on Friday at The Ailey Theatre in New York. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Burberry stock fell by 10% yesterday. Bet they're missing the chavs now! [FT]
• Ben Harper: Likes Lanvin! [WWD, sub req'd]
• January 23 is both the day of Valentino's couture show and the day of his retirement. Dude's been retiring longer than Cher. [Vogue UK]
• Dolce & Gabbana have collaborated with 20year old artist Alessandro Pezzati, who created hand-painted t-shirts for their menswear collection inspired by "found items." In other words, you can now buy a really expensive cashmere tee with a picture of garbage on it. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Model Coco Rocha: Enjoys a good spritz. [BellaSugar]
• 80s trend we'd rather not revisit... [Sassybella]

• Tomorrow night the new Bravo show Make Me A Supermodel premieres. It's hosted by Niki Taylor and Tyson Beckford, the latter of whom is um not exactly humble:"I used to shut the malls down. I was ahead of my time. I made the model a celebrity. It wasn't the celebrity that made the model but the model that made the celebrity. I used to pack kids into a mall and that's the frenzy I want to create with this show." Um, we were kind of more excited about Niki? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Seriously, we can't tell Penelope Cruz apart from her sister Monica in their new ads for Mango. But whatever, they both look fucking gorgeous. [Daily Mail]
  
• Is D-Squared the new Dolce & Gabbana when it comes to borderline offensive ads? The Italian design house's spring ads feature female models in lieu of where crash test dummies should appear. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Wildly unacceptable fashion licensing deal of the day: John Lennon accessories. First up, neckties. Next: Boxers. Not kidding! [NME]

• Poor Dmitry Prut: Designed the logo for Nicky Hilton's clothing line in exchange for a little free press for his Miami art gallery, only Hilton forgot to ever mention that he designed the logo. Whoops. [Page Six]
• Lagerfeld-designed Fendi toys! [Fashion Week Daily]
• Gisele + Versace = Toned-down sophistication?! Whoda thunk? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Christy Turlington is back at work as the face of Chanel bags for spring 2008. [Sassybella]
• The fashion industry has its grumpy pants on now that the Golden Globes have been cancelled: However will they get tons of free advertising now?! [WSJ]
• The latest in free trade: Jewelry! [Reuters]
• In some sort of perverse thank you, the Spice Girls will be attending the menswear runway show on Monday in Milan of Roberto Cavalli, who designed their god-awful costimes on their current tour. [WWD, 1st item]
• British everything-under-the-sun store Marks & Spencer's isn't doing so well profit-wise, after having worked really, really hard to up their fashion ante. So they're going to stop paying so much money to Lily Cole and other models and instead are going to shift their focus to food. [Vogue UK]
• Designer Zang Toi's computer got hacked and an email got sent to everyone in his address book saying he was inviting them to join the hot new (faux) social networking site Gayguyschat.com. Who knew hackers could be fashion-obsessed queens? [Daily Mail]