Yesterday afternoon Chris Brown wrecked his Porsche after being chased down by the rabid paparazzi on the way to a charity event, according to the Beverly Hills Police Department. Brown's PR rep (#2 most thankless job after "professional human shit shoveler") explained how it happened:
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Are Doomsday Preppers, Spent Their…
Just when I think I can't hate-love Original Kings of Comedy Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag any more, they go and do something un-fuck-withable such as believing in crystals or giving all their stuff away because of the Mayan Calendar. ARE YOU GUYS LOVABLE BUFFOONS OR GODDAMN COMEDY MEGAMINDS!? Not only can I not tell, …
Serial Dater John Mayer Lurches Over To Allison Williams
Despite Katy Perry's best efforts, one cannot domesticate the Wild Striped Douchebag, and John Mayer is no exception. Like the Countess Elizabeth Báthory, best remembered for bathing in the blood of virgins to retain her youth, it was only a matter of time before Mayer found the latest zeitgeisty female It-person and…
Rumor Has It the Father of Jodie Foster’s Kids Was Gay Casting Director
One of the criticisms of Jodie Foster's already legendary Golden Globes speech was the idea of expounding a need for personal privacy on, you know, a nationally broadcast awards show. Its detractors could have predicted this next turn of events, which, of course, is a resurgence in tabloid stories about Foster,…
Harry Styles Dumped Taylor Swift Because She's an Asexual Antiques…
A probably fake, albeit hilarious new report has emerged that Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift because she's "asexual" and "constantly talked about antiques." A rather Regina George-y sounding friend of Taylor's says that America's Unicorn Sweetheart doesn't realize that she's constantly being dumped because she's a "prude"…
Lindsay Lohan Arrested After Hit and Run in Porsche, You Know, the…
Writing this makes me feel like it's one of the Groundhog Day scenes where Bill Murray wakes up, yet again, to the clock radio playing "I Got You Babe," but Lindsay Lohan got arrested early this morning for smacking a dude with her car on the way into the parking lot of a club in New York's Meatpacking District. Probably …
Brad and Angelina Getting Married Is a Spencer Pratt Dream Come True
In today's Tweet Beat, Spencer Pratt is stoked on the Brangelina nuptials, Katy Perry is embracing 90s' nostalgia, L.A. gets rain and Lizz Winstead makes a great point.
Tragic Figures Spencer & Heidi Give Tragic Interview About Tragic Lives
"Obviously I wish I didn't do it," Heidi Montag says in a sad, sad interview with the Daily Beast. "I would go back and not have any surgery. It doesn't help. I got too caught up in Hollywood, being so into myself and my image. I don't regret anything, but if I could go back, I wouldn't do it." Oh really?
Lily Allen Married And Pregnant; One Item Away From Lady Tic Tac Toe
Lily Allen got married yesterday and her new husband announced to guests that the singer is 12 weeks pregnant. Wedding and babies? Now all Lily Allen needs is two guys having a fist fight over her while she stands off to the side and says "Boys! Stop it! Stop it I say!" and she'll have everything a gal could ever ask…
James Cameron Joins Twitter
Today in Tweet Beat, James Cameron admits he's a blowhard. Plus, Ice-T posts a topless picture of himself.
