Spencer Pratt Gained 50 lbs Eating His Emotions

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were back on TV last night for an E! special about being destroyed by reality TV. Spencer is full of regrets—and pie. He admitted he turned to pie to cope with being so hated and unemployable after The Hills, packing on 50 lbs. Oh, and he also admitted that the couple isn't broke and… » 12/10/13 1:05pm 12/10/13 1:05pm

Spencer Pratt Finally Finishes College After 10 Years at USC

I cannot believe what a complete turnaround Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have made in my personal court of public opinion, just by being complete weirdos all the time and straight douching $10 million (the crystals thing didn't hurt either). Like...do I like them now? Are they my...favorite celebrities? Anyway,… » 12/05/13 8:25pm 12/05/13 8:25pm

Chris Brown Totaled His Car En Route to Charity Appearance With Little…

Yesterday afternoon Chris Brown wrecked his Porsche after being chased down by the rabid paparazzi on the way to a charity event, according to the Beverly Hills Police Department. Brown's PR rep (#2 most thankless job after "professional human shit shoveler") explained how it happened: » 2/10/13 11:30am 2/10/13 11:30am

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Are Doomsday Preppers, Spent Their…

Just when I think I can't hate-love Original Kings of Comedy Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag any more, they go and do something un-fuck-withable such as believing in crystals or giving all their stuff away because of the Mayan Calendar. ARE YOU GUYS LOVABLE BUFFOONS OR GODDAMN COMEDY MEGAMINDS!? Not only can I not… » 1/30/13 8:00pm 1/30/13 8:00pm

Serial Dater John Mayer Lurches Over To Allison Williams

Despite Katy Perry's best efforts, one cannot domesticate the Wild Striped Douchebag, and John Mayer is no exception. Like the Countess Elizabeth Báthory, best remembered for bathing in the blood of virgins to retain her youth, it was only a matter of time before Mayer found the latest zeitgeisty female It-person and… » 1/29/13 9:00am 1/29/13 9:00am

Rumor Has It the Father of Jodie Foster’s Kids Was Gay Casting Director

One of the criticisms of Jodie Foster's already legendary Golden Globes speech was the idea of expounding a need for personal privacy on, you know, a nationally broadcast awards show. Its detractors could have predicted this next turn of events, which, of course, is a resurgence in tabloid stories about Foster,… » 1/15/13 9:00am 1/15/13 9:00am

Harry Styles Dumped Taylor Swift Because She's an Asexual Antiques…

A probably fake, albeit hilarious new report has emerged that Harry Styles dumped Taylor Swift because she's "asexual" and "constantly talked about antiques." A rather Regina George-y sounding friend of Taylor's says that America's Unicorn Sweetheart doesn't realize that she's constantly being dumped because she's a… » 1/11/13 9:00am 1/11/13 9:00am

Lindsay Lohan Arrested After Hit and Run in Porsche, You Know, the Usual

Writing this makes me feel like it's one of the Groundhog Day scenes where Bill Murray wakes up, yet again, to the clock radio playing "I Got You Babe," but Lindsay Lohan got arrested early this morning for smacking a dude with her car on the way into the parking lot of a club in New York's Meatpacking District.… » 9/19/12 9:00am 9/19/12 9:00am

Tragic Figures Spencer & Heidi Give Tragic Interview About Tragic Lives

"Obviously I wish I didn't do it," Heidi Montag says in a sad, sad interview with the Daily Beast. "I would go back and not have any surgery. It doesn't help. I got too caught up in Hollywood, being so into myself and my image. I don't regret anything, but if I could go back, I wouldn't do it." Oh really? » 8/01/11 4:15pm 8/01/11 4:15pm

Lily Allen Married And Pregnant; One Item Away From Lady Tic Tac Toe

Lily Allen got married yesterday and her new husband announced to guests that the singer is 12 weeks pregnant. Wedding and babies? Now all Lily Allen needs is two guys having a fist fight over her while she stands off to the side and says "Boys! Stop it! Stop it I say!" and she'll have everything a gal could ever ask… » 6/12/11 11:00am 6/12/11 11:00am