A Very Feminist Thanksgiving Feast from Megan Carpentier on Vimeo.

For the record, it is really, really difficult to peel balls, as you've basically got to slice the connective tissue, work your fingers in around one end and separate it. It is impossible to do if you're going to be remotely squeamish about it — and the video that Spencer and I watched does not do justice to the sound, feel or odor that comes with peeling balls. If Spencer's reaction to the video when we watched it doesn't scare you off, you can see the original below.

The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls [Yudu]
The Testicle Cookbook — Peeling Testicles [YouTube]

Earlier: Schweddy Balls

Megan: I don't know if you read Jezebel...

Rachel: Sure.

Megan: ... but everyone is a really big fan of yours, so the opportunity to speak to you is really exciting!

Rachel: That's so nice. I don't think of myself as existing in the world in a way that people can see me. But I can see Jezebel and you can see me, apparently. It's a strange dynamic.

Megan: It is! So what has it been like, this furor since it was announced that you'd gotten your own show? Obviously, seeing the crowd reaction here every time you open your mouth, it seems pretty positive.

Rachel: It is positive. I haven't been able to see any of our coverage, I've only been on it. So the thing that I'm worried about is that I don't know how much our voices carry over the sound of the crowd, and if we ought to be yelling in order to be heard and if we should stop talking when the crowd is yelling. So just as a physical matter I'm not sure what to do. And I also don't want to be rude to my colleagues here. I'm not running this show — I'm part of a four-person panel that is a tertiary thing. I am a very small cog in this machine, so I don't want to be a distraction. But, that said, I can't say that it's not nice that people are being so nice to me. It's very flattering. I don't know what to say but "Thank you," I just keep saying, "Thank you."

Megan: Do you read your own press?

Rachel: I read some of it. I actually haven't read really anything recently. I read a little bit of the response to finding out I was getting my own show. There was a strange thing that happened with The New Republic, they ran that piece and then Glen Greenwald at Salon having written that long rebuttal to it but I just thought that was like, whoa. That was a discussion of me as an issue rather than of me as an individual. And I found that fascinating academically. But I try not to read too much. It warps your sense of importance and your sense of self. I need to focus on what I think, so that I can stay original. Does that make sense?

Megan: Yeah, absolutely. Do you have some idea what you might do with your new show that's going to premiere in about a week to be original?

Rachel: [laughs] Week and a half! Week and a half! Two weeks from yesterday! I mean, the mission of the show is that at 8 pm there is "Countdown." And at 10 pm, there is "Countdown." At 9 pm, there is something in the middle that needs to hold that audience as much as it can. That's what the corporate mission is, and that's what the program I deal with was created, that's why they asked me to do it because they think that I'm the best person to do that. So, that's the mission. What's the strategy to get there? The consistent advice that I have received, and I've received it from — and I've received it from people in my personal life from whom I regularly take advice, I've received it from people who I don't know but who I respect in terms of what they've accomplished in media — across the board, the advice from everybody has been "Figure out a way to be yourself." And there's a big difference between TV and radio in the way that they are produced. Radio, it's me and one other person. The maximum size of me and my team is three people and two of them are part-time. I mean, it's a very solitary enterprise. And my reading, and my writing — my radio show is scripted — it's cone of silence, big time. A television show has a cast of thousands that are involved in producing it and therefore it is much more of a process. It is much easier to start off as me and end up losing it. It is much easier to start off as my show and end up with another approach. And so I want to find a way so it can be show.

I don't really think that I can compete on the level of "TV Bot," you know, the normal, generic TV host. I'm not that pretty. I'm not that accessible, I'm not that... all of these other things. I'm on specific things, they like what I've got already, so we need to find a way to reproduce that on a show every day. And that's been my entire purpose, figuring out a way to make it to most me as possible. And that's the strategy.

Spencer: As someone in whom the netroots and the blogosphere is very invested, someone that speaks our language, someone who tries specifically to bring our perspective out, do you think it will be hard? Do you think you'll be getting more scrutiny from MSNBC, from the corporate side, than a right-wing addition to the line-up would?

Rachel: I feel like I could answer that in theory and academically, but my experience thus far is that MSNBC has not nudged me. At all. The only experience I've had is to say, "I'm not interested in talking about this topic and if you guys are going booking me for a long time to talk about that topic, I've gotta say I don't have much to say about blank topic, so, you might not want to book me." And they've been like, "Oh, c'mon, you want to talk about it," and I've said, "Nope, I don't want to talk about it," and that's it. That's been the extent of my editorial back-and-forth as a guest on MSNBC. They've never gone there with me, ever.

And I have asked management, upon them offering me the show — and I have no idea how I would've responded if they answered the other way— but what I asked was two things. I asked "Are you looking for me to be different than I am? Talk about different things, or seem different that you've already seen?" Second question, "Do you want me to change the way I look?" I asked the questions because I was curious, but I literally have no idea what I would have said had the answer been anything other than "No, you're fine, we picked you because we like you." But the answer was, "No, you're fine, we picked you because we like you."

Megan: Did you think they would ask you to grow your hair out, dye it blonde and get Botox or something?

Rachel: I guess I was curious as to whether they secretly wanted that but felt they couldn't bring it up because I'd get mad. And who knows what it will eventually be like, and who knows from here on out. They're launching the show, and working on a very short time frame, but it's not been my experience so far.

Megan: Something I wanted to ask, that you brought up a little earlier, is this idea of being seen as An Issue as opposed to a person. Obviously your personal life has come into play in some of the coverage, in terms of being the first lesbian to have a news show. How does it feel to have your personal life out there in a way that it wouldn't be if you were heterosexual or divorced or whatever.

Rachel: Yeah, you know, there is definitely a fascination with the personal lives of people that are on television. I get that, it's a visual medium, that's how we connect to people. I have never been closeted, like, never — I came out when I was 17. I couldn't be closeted even if I wanted to. So I'm out, that's not an issue for me, it's not a decision for me, it's not something I've ever thought about my whole adult life. More than half my life, I've been out. I think it is something that of more interest to people that are thinking about me for the first time than it is for me in talking about it. I don't, this is going to sound crazy, I don't like talking about my personal life. I don't like talking about the media. These aren't my topics. I'm really interested in Afghanistan. That's what I want talk about. My radio show today — you know, I was here and then I ran across town to the Gates Center and was like "Okay, okay, okay, finally I get to talk about Iraq now! Ok!" I geek out on the news.

Earlier: Rachel Maddow For President (Of Cable News, That Is)

MOE: Yo, sorry, I have been working on this freelance piece that is disrupting my normal function. I haven't looked at Drudge in a good 24 hours. I just felt so undernourished I bought a Starbucks Vivanno. WHOA what the fuck???

MEGAN: I know, I saw that! What's even worse is that he was a colleague of the guy the FBI totally thought did it and leaked to the press about and finally had to declare innocent and pay millions of dollars to. Kinda makes you wonder what his motives were, right?

Also, his little escapades contaminated half the building, which he totally tested off-the-record and in secret.

MOE: Yeah, Hatfill. Hatfill, who that Vanity Fair linguist pegged.

MEGAN: Well, the FBI pegged him to everyone.

MOE: Right. My mind is still blown here.

After the government's settlement with Hatfill was announced in late June, Ivins started showing signs of strain, the Times said. It quoted a longtime colleague as saying Ivins was being treated for depression and indicated to a therapist that he was considering suicide. Family members and local police escorted Ivins away from the Army lab, and his access to sensitive areas was curtailed, the colleague told the newspaper. He said Ivins was facing a forced retirement in September.

MEGAN: I dunno, the subtext there is that he did it as much to frame Hatfill as anything else, right? Am I just being too suspicious?

MOE: So the whole thing where IT HAS TO BE HATFILL BECAUSE HE WENT TO SCHOOL NEAR A RHODESIAN TOWN CALLED GREENDALE... apparently not! Do you think he just hated Hatfill? This is seriously the most awesome twist to a seriously awesome story. As you can tell, I am at a loss for words. Will you do the intro today?

MEGAN: Sure. And I'm just going to throw this in there even though no one but me and Charlotte Corday probably care, but the wife of the former Prime Minister of Thailand that the military deposed in a coup whose supporters still run the post-military government was convicted of tax evasion yesterday. But none of their supporters particularly care and that's sort of why it's bad to depose a Democratically elected government in a coup and then go after all the corrupt people because she may have not paid her taxes BUT YOU PUT TANKS IN THE STREETS.

Also, I miss my lobbying days this morning. The one time I went to a Chamber afterparty (with Alex Pareene!), I had to pay my own bar tab but I did share a cab to my neighborhood with some random guy that I thought drunkenly was part of the group and wasn't but he was really hot.

MOE: Um, yeah, I don't know what to say about Thaksin, really, can we stay on task here? The Thai military might have put tanks in the street over THERE, but they also let elephants run free and never even got a cool colonial name like Rhodesia. This guy killed like 6 AMERICANS, MOST OF WHOM WORKED FOR THE POSTAL SERVICE. And rendered every editor in America terrified to open the mail.

MEGAN: And Hill staffers! Don't forget the Daschle intern he poisoned.

MOE: With brothers like these!

The eldest of his two brothers, Thomas Ivins, said he was not surprised by the events that have unfolded. "He buckled under the pressure from the federal government," Thomas Ivins said, adding that FBI agents came to Ohio last year to question him about his brother. "I was questioned by the feds, and I sung like a canary" about Bruce Ivins' personality and tendencies, Thomas Ivins said.
"He had in his mind that he was omnipotent."

Feds before bros I guess. Remember when the Right was telling everyone the anthrax came from IRAQ? Motherfucker.

MEGAN: Well, Ted Kaczynski's brother turned him in, actually. I mean, when your brother is a sociopathic mass murderer, I think it's cool.

C'mon, here's something you'll like: GM lost more money last quarter than Exxon made.

MOE: Here's a news organization that really doesn't deserve any stray spores:

In a nation in which 66% of the voting-age population is overweight and 32% is obese, could Sen. Obama's skinniness be a liability? Despite his visits to waffle houses, ice-cream parlors and greasy-spoon diners around the country, his slim physique just might have some Americans wondering whether he is truly like them.

MEGAN: Oh, God, really? That's what the WSJ has to say? Obama's not fat enough to lead?

Um, sorry, new brief tangent, Daniel Craig is going to play some (hot) bisexual Roman king or something. Is it too much to hope that he'll be shirtless the entire movie?

MEGAN: And, switching gears again, John Rich of country music band Big and Rich penned a new song for John McCain and it sounds sucktastic.

He stayed strong, stayed extra long til they let all the other boys out. Now we've got a real man with an American plan, we're going to put him in the big White House.

MOE: Okay, that Times story reminds me of a thing that I think about earnings stories which is that they should just all come with little graphics so you know exactly what they're talking about. Like, I don't think that story lists a revenue figure for the quarter, though here

The company lost $4.4 billion in North America in the period, and its revenues dropped 33 percent, from $29.7 billion to $19.8 billion. That compared with a profit of $92 million in the quarter a year ago.

it looks like they list a North American revenue figure. I'm not sure. Anyway, the point is, net profit figures exist mostly to win the sympathies of the IRS and thus, when you see that one company's "losses" exceed another company's earnings, you kind of have to look a little closer at like how $83 billion in OIL earnings became $11 billion on profits. And that's where you learn that EXXON actually also lost money in the united states, due to the same commodity prices that earned it so much in its "upstream" exploration business. Which is to say, I throw up my hands. I'm still smarting from this Ivins dude.
"Why isn't this story the lead story in every newscast in America?" that blonde Fox anchor just asked.
GUESS WHAT IS.

MEGAN: Barack Obama "playing the race card"? Charlie Rangel not getting censured for doing shady shit? The Pakistani government cooperating in bombing the Indian embassy in Kabul? Oh, wait, hahaha, yeah, Americans don't give a shit about that.

McCain being senile? Rielle Hunter's baby's birth certificate not listing a father because under California law if there's not a husband she needs the father to sign a bunch of legal paperwork agreeing that he is?

MOE: Oh Jesus. That's what you get for not sufficiently appreciating Musharraf? Or what?

The government officials were guarded in describing the new evidence and would not say specifically what kind of assistance the ISI officers provided to the militants. They said that the ISI officers had not been renegades, indicating that their actions might have been authorized by superiors.
“It confirmed some suspicions that I think were widely held,” one State Department official with knowledge of Afghanistan issues said of the intercepted communications. “It was sort of this ‘aha’ moment. There was a sense that there was finally direct proof.”

MEGAN: Or it was in the works before Uncle Pervy left? Who knows. I thought when India and Pakistan both got nukes they were done being mad at each other.

But what, is the Fox News girl sad isn't the lead story? Inquiring minds want to know...

MOE: What do you think it is really direct proof of? Like, direct proof the universe is completely fucked? Direct proof civil liberties are overrated?

Oh, and the story was this a-ha moment Lots of a-ha moments today!

MEGAN: Oh, for Chrissakes. We've become so fat and so lazy that we want a pill to make it all better? Like, we'll spend untold millions of dollars researching and then paying for a pharmaceutical product to prevent having to go for a freaking walk?

MOE: But think of the countless BLOGGER LIVES IT WILL SAVE.

MEGAN: Until they discover the side effect that using it in conjunction with Movable Type causes seizures and brain damage, not that that's not already a side effect of Movable Type.

Hey, so, like, wanna address the elephant in the virtual room? Because I won't get to say it other than in the comment threads and shit, but I'm going to miss doing this with you. It was fun even when I was hungover and depressed and it and you were the reasons I got out of bed in the mornings the weeks after I got fired from Wonkette. Well, I mean, woke up anyway. I wrote a lot of them from bed.

MOE: Uhhhhh I don't do goodbyes very well. And somehow I don't think this will be the last time I'm on the Crappy Hour. I actually have a lot of ideas for how you should improve it in my absence that I'm going to write you a memo about. But yeah, like, I learned a lot of stuff doing this! Like how having a hangover doesn't always help one's writing! And how much I hate memes. Also, we are going to get that Bloggingheads ripoff idea worked out if I have to send you a fancy camera. That will be soooooo fun.

MEGAN: Yeah, I sort of suck at goodbyes, too, and I'm glad to hear you're not completely opposed to the idea of doing this again because, well, I mean, it's kinda weird contemplating doing it without you ever. Also, my dad mostly fixed my other computer with which my camera is more compatible, so I think that's totally do-able. And I look forward to your memo, which I will proceed to get stinking drunk in your honor before I read.

MOE: And yeah, Spencer? You should try to enlist Mike Madden of Salon some mornings. Pressler owes us an IM or too. I mean shit, I could do it once a week. But I like the ones where there's a focus, like OIL or PEDOPHILE FUNDAMENTALIST MORMONS or ANDY SAMBERG AND HIS $300 MILLION ALBANIAN AMMUNITIONS whatever. Or, like that one day when we were all set to join the Iranian resistance! Or that charming KBR gang rape story! So much, so much we have been through together.

MEGAN: Shh, Spencer will be hurt when he finds out that we're thinking about opening ourselves up to other men! But, um, yeah, I'm got some ideas in that regard, too, I mean, I'm rarely a one-man woman, intellectually speaking. I have been a one-woman woman for a bit, now, though, except for that one time with Sinister Rouge but she tempted me so! But the ones where we stayed with one topic were pretty cool.

MOE: Yeah I think I'd like to do a one-topic one every so often. Maybe once a week! And commenters can decide the topic! We can poll them! And challenge them to present us with appropriate reading materials so we don't have to do all the work! Hahaha remember when I wanted to poll them as to which job I should take? Good times. I was going to try and find "I Hate You, I Love You" by the Dead Milkmen to express my commenter gratitude but I can't so you'll have to make do with this. God if the Dead Milkmen would write a song about Alycia Lane that would be like our anthem. The dead milkmen and Santogold.

I miss Philly.

• Nancy Pelosi said aloud today what everyone knows implicitly and no one ever acknowledges: when the right-wingers talk about "San Francisco values," they're condemning San Franciscans for not spitting on the LGBT community with a wink and a nod. Tolerance is so for liberals. [HuffPo]
• Speaking of the intolerance of the right, an inspector general's report has unsurprisingly concluded that Monica Goodling and Kyle Sampson inappropriately used political considerations when hiring at the Justice Department. Goodling asked interviewees what they liked most about Bush, what their stances on abortion were and, in one case, refused to renew a prosecutor's appointment believing him to be gay or at least, very metrosexual. Hey, it was 2006, that phrase was still acceptable! [Washington Post]

• Not to dwell on Bushies, but, um, one of them called the Iraq War "fucking stupid." He helped design a counterinsurgency strategy that relied on more than boots on the ground that we've partially ignored, but he is an Aussie after all. That accent doesn't translate well into "Texan." [Washington Independent]
• What translates a little easier is a McCain adviser promising conservatives that McCain won't really push a greenhouse gas plan because candidates always promise stuff they won't deliver on. Here's hoping he says that about McCain, oh, another couple of hundred times between now and November. [Think Progress]
• Hillary Clinton's totally hitting the trail for Obama once she gets done catching up in the Senate, Terry McAuliffe swears. And he's, like, totally reliable. [CNN]
• John McCain had another mole removed today, which reminds us to always wear sunscreen and that John McCain is really old. [CNN, John McCain Is Really Old]
• Obama is reportedly seriously vetting Virginia Governor Tim "not Mc" Kaine for the VP slot, but Tim just makes us wonder what is up with the eyebrows of Virginia's past 3 governors. They're really bushy and strange. It is becoming a great way to handicap the Governor's race down there, though. [Washington Post]

MOE: Morning boo! Time to get onerous?
MEGAN: Maybe ponderous?
MOE: I was checking Drudge last night on the way to a bar and there was this bizarre bunch of headlines as to Obama's 5 a.m. Western Wall visit and I thought, damn, that is early for the hecklers to be waiting.
MEGAN: Yeah, I don't heckle anyone before 10:30 at least. Luckily the Germans have the Obamania, so I don't expect too many hecklers there.
MEGAN: We should probably take a moment to defend our Attackerman on his reporting on how McCain fucked up when he said the Surge predated the Anbar Awakening, because Joe Scarborough accuses him and other bloggers of eating Cheetos while frantically Googling to play gotcha. Because I have never once seen him eat or heard about Spencer eating Cheetos, and I'm pretty sure he knew about the timing without having to Google since it's his job to know shit like that, being a national security reporter and all. It ought to also be McCain's job — or McCain's policy staff's job — to not just make shit up that isn't true.
MOE: That is hilarious. You name your whole show after a popular morning beverage and you get on us for eating extruded snack food? Speaking of which my own Awakening here has yet to be followed by my morning joe so I am a little slow. Do you think CBS was seriously trying to cover up McCain's ignorance though? Or are the video editors basically, half-Awake themselves?
MEGAN: Yeah, um, I haven't had any caffeine either because I needed to hydrate first this morning... I mean, I don't know if CBS did it to cover up what they knew was a wrong answer, or because someone on McCain's staff knew it was wrong, but why would you splice in an answer he gave to another questions completely randomly?
So, yes, personally, I think it was deliberate. I don't think you do it at that moment, for that question, for that answer, if it's not deliberate.
MOE: They were like "oh god this McCain senility thing has gotten too fucking hard to watch" or whatever?
MEGAN: This is why I wonder if it wasn't a quiet word from someone within the McCain camp, someone who realized the size of the gaffe and asked nicely or not-so-nicely and CBS complied. Because that's what I'd do if I worked for McCain.
CBS is saying that they "edited it for time,", which totally doesn't explain anything.
MEGAN: Anyway, so, onto other things, Nas rapped on Colbert last night, which he was on to promote his petition against racism Fox News and looking, dare I say, fucking hot as shit.
MOE: Well speaking of Subtle Mainstream Media Tricks To Save Politicians From Themselves That Are Completely Ineffective, John Edwards and Rielle: why make the story of the day "Why The Mainstream Media Is Ignoring This Urgent Sex Scandal" when you could just, like, run a bunch of stories saying the National Enquirer seems to have stalked John Edwards and boy, what a shameless douchebag! (They would probably spell it "douche bag.") Because my future colleague over at Gawker has a point here, even if the "Constitutionally Protected jobs" thing is an unbelievably warped jab to make considering the last time fucking anyone in newspapers had any fucking sense of job security was the Reagan administration, but that's neither here/there.
MEGAN: Well, but then you'd have to cover the National Enquirer. And they're probably still smarting over Gennifer Flowers or something.
Oh, well, if we're going to be like the real media, we should probably totally change the subject now and I would like then to point readers to Dana Milbank's column today which is about the House's Don't Ask Don't Tell hearing yesterday in which psychotic Elaine Donnelly testified about lesbian rape gangs and shit and just about everyone there was shocked that she thought it was appropriate but she always, always does. Also, she doesn't want women serving in the military for the sake of the men. And in 1950, she probably wasn't so keen on integration either. She's a scary bitch, yo.
I might have once implied in print that she herself is just scared of her own lesbian tendencies. Because I'm a mean bitch like that.
MOE: Dude, someone watching that hearing got a totally dope plotline for his next thrasher movie though. I love Vic Snyder for calling her testimony "just bonkers" because I can't really do better, this woman's just totally completely nuts and the thing we always forget is THERE ARE MORE OF THEM LIKE THIS OUT THERE MANY MANY MORE.
MEGAN: Yeah, there totally are more people like that out there. Speaking of more of "them," Steve Doocey weighed in on sexism yesterday. That guy is so dumb I think it probably rubs off.
MOE: And don't forget they're not just any lesbian rape gangs they are black lesbian rape gangs. Because white lesbians in the military are too busy planning their weddings while watching the L Word and styling their expertly layered hair to bother raping anyone?
MEGAN: Oh, right, black lesbians are waaaay scarier. Did I ever tell you how I once ended up at a black lesbian bar in D.C.?
My friend made me get on one of those party shuttle buses for her bachelorette, but the organizers were from out of town and ended up taking us to a black lesbian club. Best. Bar. The. Whole. Night.
Great DJ, appropriate level of air conditioning, super nice people. After dancing with strangers for 40 minutes I realized the bride and all her friends were huddled in a corner and talking about me.
MOE: Omg I went to a black gay coke bar last weekend and although or maybe because the coke was probably not really coke but crushed up No-Doz cut with laxatives it was the Best Night Ever Too. Musically, muscle tonally, etc. Anyway, we need to find some site about this alleged black lesbian rape gang attack in 1974. If only to WARN THE READERS.
MEGAN: I'll do that while you read about Lieberman comparing creepy Catholic-hating crazy pastor John Hagee to Moses and saying that bloggers would've shit all over Moses and Miriam, too.
MOE: Well, you gotta admit bloggers will shit on anything, they are like junkies that way. Remember Pastor Pfleger? That guy was so clearly Down with God but the haters wanna hate, you know?
Lieberman is such an idiot.
MEGAN: I mean, is he trying to flame out? Like, can he be recalled by voters or something? Because I don't understand when he went batshit.
MOE: I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING ABOUT THIS CYNTHIA YOST LESBIAN RAPE THING does this mean I have to nexis?
MEGAN: Ok, so, the lesbian rape story is only available in Elaine's testimony. This woman, Cynthia Yost, claims that she was hugged and rubbed by a group of black women she knew to be lesbians but never reported it until now.
MOE: because my nexis is down.
MEGAN: Page 10, by the way.

“Some of them were ethnic minorities, and it was a group of black lesbians who decided to gang-assault me. I don't know what else you would call it. This incident happened in the spring of 1974, at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. We were riding crowded together in a "cattle truck", and suddenly they all began groping my crotch and breasts through my fatigues, talking suggestively, rubbing my thighs, hugging me tightly around the waist and shoulders, and giggling.
“This was in 1974, when the military brass lived in terror of accusations of racist attitudes among military personnel. It was assumed that any white person hitting or attacking a black one for any reason, even in self-defense, was, ipso facto, a racist. Such an incident, reported, meant a letter of reprimand in one's permanent record, and many tedious hours of "race relations" classes.
“…I didn't report the assault because I wanted to keep my record clean, and I didn't defend myself from their physical assault for the same reason. I didn't want a permanent label of "racist" to derail my military career. So, I restrained my nausea and outrage, and just kept pushing their hands and arms off me and telling them to please stop. They finally did, when they were tired of it.

MOE: dude that description is totally from a porn.
MEGAN: Totally. Homophobic rantings about homosexuality are always pornographic for some reason. Frankly, like, why was it important that her alleged assaulters were black in that context.... if it wasn't important to her?
MOE: Yeah and call Lizz Winstead but this so-called gang rape does NOT SOUND THAT TRAUMATIZING. I mean, also, like, this is just nuts. I wonder where Cynthia Yost is now. I bet if we teepee-d her house she'd call it a hate crime.
MEGAN: We hate her for her heterosexuality, because we're just a bunch of fucking dykes.

Show of hands: who saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall this weekend? Much as you might yearn for an Apatow backlash, you'll find no pretext for it in the movie. But you will find a pretext for pondering the relationship predicaments of men who mean well. Or at least who flatter themselves that they mean well while actually just fucking everything up like a typical douchebag. Like me.

Case in point is something that occurred in FSM that, once upon a time, happened to me. (What follows might be a bit of a spoiler, but I'll minimize the damage.) Guy thinks New Girl is pretty great, and there's something between the two of them. Who knows where it could lead! It's all so new and unexpected and exciting. The only thing is is that when one of these things starts, it's not as if the past ceases to exist. And let's say the Guy has a fraught and complicated and never-ending quasi-relationship with someone who keeps on breaking his heart but he just keeps going back because he doesn't respect himself. Let's further say that he sleeps with Heartbreaker a couple days after he's begun seeing New Girl, although there is no expectation of monogamy, let alone an actual discussion of Whatever This Is (And Could Be!) between Guy and New Girl.

But Guy has this feeling that if there is, in fact, going to be something with New Girl he had better do the honorable thing and disclose what happened. Yes, yes, some say, the really honorable thing would have been not to have slept with Heartbreaker, but you know what? Fuck you, because I don't have a time machine, and have you never done something like that? Really? You don't understand what it's like to have difficult-to-resolve feelings for someone, even though you know it's probably futile, and why do you expect that "moving on" is a linear progression?

So let's finally say that the disclosure made a whole lot more sense in Guy's mind than in practice. Guy's female brain-trust is split down the middle about whether disclosure was the right call: half say that before there's a discussion of monogamy, you keep all that other-women shit to yourself; and the other half say that it'll hurt a lot worse if something actually develops between Guy and New Girl and New Girl later found out about Heartbreaker through the seemingly-inevitable run-in or third-party chatter or whatever. (Interestingly, the mix gets scrambled when female brain-trust members are asked if, put in this situation themselves, they'd want to know.)

I open it up to you, womanity: What should I have done here? I didn't mean to do harm in this case, and while the seeds of Crap Behavior lurk in all of our hearts, oftentimes marginal-to-harmful behavior is attributable to confusion, not malice. Remember, not-sleeping-with-Heartbreaker is not an option, so I don't want to see that popping up in comments. You make the call.

MEGAN: anna says you're in!
SPENCER: good morning sunshine!
MEGAN: morning!
SPENCER: Whoa! Conde Nast money, here I come

MEGAN: Ok, are you ready to do this thing? Despite you being a dude and everything, we have to talk about the whole Stabenow thing from a woman's perspective. He gets a beej from a Craigslist hooker and gets caught, they charge the hooker but not him and then the details come out yesterday and Senator Debbie takes the floor to talk mortgage crisis and recession instead of hiding in her office like Vitter and Larry Craig did. Is it just because she's not the tainted one? Or is it because women can carry more on their shoulders.
SPENCER: well, Mr Stabenow is this big liberal-radio dude, and i was on air america yesterday and — surprise — no one wanted to talk about What Happened
i have a lot of respect for Debbie Stabenow deciding she wasn't going to let what her husband did throw her off her game
i'm silently singing christina aguilera's 'beautiful' to myself whenever stabenow speaks from now on
but here's MY question
MEGAN: Also, CNN had the hooker's mug shot today. Skankalicious.
SPENCER: i've never used craigslist for sex, NEVER
the Detroit News piece that broke the story said that Mr Debbie told the police that he was meeting a friend from the internet
do you think that people on craigslist that are hookers SAY they're hookers? or could he have really thought he was meeting an internet liaison for IRL sex?
'liaison' s/b 'acquaintance'
MEGAN: But she listed her prices!
SPENCER: oh ok that settles that
i should stop all this 'shopping for furniture and maybe a bike' nonsense
do women use craigslist for sex?
MEGAN: Other than prostitutes?
SPENCER: it seems like it's not necessary but what do i know
yeah, other than prostitutes
MEGAN: I mean, I know women who have used it for actual dates, not that they worked out that well. Less for NSA sex, probably. It doesn't seem necessary to me either.

SPENCER: speaking of actual dates
we have to talk about this conservative women talk about dating thing that Eva Braunstein posted on J-bel yesterday
MEGAN: Yeah, actually, I sent it to her because TRex sent it to me and we had a good laugh
SPENCER: what strikes me is that the dude who wrote the intro copy keeps writing things like so-and-so "is a buddy of mine who has done a lot of dating in her life..."
that sounds a lot like winger code for MY FRIEND IS A GIANT WHORE
MEGAN: I know! He's totally calling them all sluts!
Plus the pictures he uses?
SPENCER: look
there was a period during college
where i went through a brief conservative stage
i should have just gone gay or something
and there's this thing in New York City, or at least there was, called the Fabiani Society
whereby tout NYC young conservatism assembles and chats
as you can imagine, it's a sausage party
MEGAN: Kind of like your last show!
SPENCER: come for the scotch, stay to see that fat fuck James Taranto from the Wall Street Journal edit page pass out at the table and maybe puke in a potted plant
anyway, there was a cadre of women who attended
MEGAN: But did not date James Taranto, I assume.
SPENCER:one of whom was this attractive publicist — i think? — from the manhattan institute
and this friend of mine was like desperate to fuck her
we had this conversation on the train where he was like "nipples like PENCIL ERASERS!"
that's when i decided there was no pussy in conservatism and drifted leftward
MEGAN: Really? He wanted to date her because she had pokey nipples?
SPENCER: he was a college kid and was enthralled that sometimes you can see a chick's nipples through her shirt
SPENCER: it was all very John Hughes
MEGAN: Because, despite what Tracie says, I have a ton of lined bras because of those dudes that look at my nipples and the fact that I'm usually cold and it used to make lobbying meetings really awkward.
MEGAN: LOOK HERE
SPENCER: men are just going to look at your nipples, we can't help it
you try and be discreet about it, but it's like an exclamation point on a titty
MEGAN: I know, hence, the lined bras. It's awkward when really old guys do it, especially because their reflexes aren't that great.
I can't believe you just said "ttty"
SPENCER: HAHAHAHA
it was an ironic 'titty'
i think we've had the 'titty' vs 'boob' conversation
ANYWAY
SPENCER: these conservative-woman bloggers: just do your thing, ladies, get your money, and realize that love and sex have little to do with ideology, life is a rich pageant
MEGAN: No, boo, let the conservative bitches keep the conservative guys from poorly kissing the rest of us.
Or talking about how they used to work for Karl Rove as though that would make anyone in the real world want to fuck them

MEGAN: Anyway, so speaking of in your face,
close ups on TV make people not like you.
You should warn producers or something now that you're all getting the TV punditry gigs
SPENCER: i can't open this, but my friend Matt Yglesias has a theory
that eventually the newschannels and the networks will all go HD
SPENCER: and then politicians will face the same impediments to success that the entertainment industry does
like imagine McCain vs Obama in HD
McCain would look like a reanimated corpse
MEGAN: Oh, God. It's too early for that shit
He already looks like a reanimated corpse.
SPENCER: and because black people have no choice but to take better care of their skin than white people, he's going to come out looking like a movie star
MEGAN: He's already swoon-able.

SPENCER: i know, i know, every woman who isn't Sinister Rouge has a crush on Obama
bama bama bama...
my crush is more professional
MEGAN: I mean, what are our other crush options?
SPENCER:: can we talk about iraq for a second?
MEGAN: Yes, please, something smart

SPENCER:: DAVID PETRAEUS. crush on petraeus
we can tie these two subjects together!
First of all, the man is like 56 and in ridiculous shape
MEGAN: So, I'm supposed to crush on Petraeus?
SPENCER: yes
all the male journalists do
MEGAN: See, I have a theory on older men that I'm sticking to
If he's closer to my dad's age than mine, I can't
My dad and I are 30 years apart.
so, 14-15 years older is the outside limit
SPENCER: he was my workout coach!
MEGAN: Ok, yes, Petraeus, tell me about his body
SPENCER:: last year i was in Mosul at FOB Marez (What up Brian! Hold your head man)
and he was coming up there, as i overheard in the dining facility
so i demanded an interview
and the brigade's press flack said i could only do so if I did physical training with him
figuring i would not be so stupid as to humiliate myself like that
LITTLE DID THEY KNOW
MEGAN: Yeah, obviously they didn't know you that well.
SPENCER: so it was like 530 in the morning and he shows up in these little-ass running shorts and WEIGHT LIFTING GLOVES to do a 5 mile run
mosul that time of year is COLD and WET btw
so we ran around the base with the 30-year old company commanders and petraeus was insane — answering questions without being so much as short of breath
i dont trust my voice recorder in times like this so i was running up to him, barking questions, and writing them down in my notebook
i collapsed into the chase car and tried to rewrite my chicken scratch into something legible
MEGAN: Wait, you ran and wrote?
SPENCER:: i swear to god, i was ready to puke, plus i had just quit smoking
MEGAN: And Petraeus in short-shorts?
SPENCER: YES
MEGAN: Ok, so how tight was his ass?
SPENCER: THEN we did calisthenics and THEN we did the fucking chinup bar
i was more thinking, how tight is his line that the surge will yield sustainable security improvements that will in turn yield sectarian reconciliation
MEGAN: Wow, this is sounding less like the press guy thought you wouldn't and more like he hoped you would because he was evil.
SPENCER: i'm not going to say a word about petraeus' ass, sorry, i'm supposed to interview him later and really don't want to fuck that up
anyway i couldn't do this insane chin-up-bar exercise he did
i tried to weave this into a strained metaphor about iraq
but yeah, crush on obama and petraeus
MEGAN: And did it work, Mr. Writer Guy?
SPENCER: it's like the worst piece i ever wrote
MEGAN: Ok, I'll keep that in mind.
SPENCER: plus petraeus is smart, confident, determined, and probably sensitive
MEGAN: That sucks, oh, well. I've written Crap.
Oh, sensitive? Really? I call bullshit.
SPENCER: i get the feeling that he would rub your shoulders when you've had a hard day
MEGAN: And then tell me to buck up, soldier
And go off and hang out with the boys
SPENCER: he's like the patrick swayze of iraq

MEGAN: Women don't want Swayze. They want Johnny.
SPENCER:: nah girl he's looking out for you
which johnny? johnny depp?
my mom LOVES johnny depp
MEGAN: No, Johnny the character in Dirty Dancing
SPENCER: oh i didn't see that
MEGAN: But Johnny Depp is highly fuckable.

MEGAN: Ok, well, here's some news that doesn't involve hot guys: Hillary Clinton talks a good game on her opposition to Iraq but hasn't done anything
SPENCER: yeah ok the thing about HRC
notice the line that the LAT quotes
MEGAN:

I've been working day in and day out in the Senate to provide leadership to end this war

SPENCER: so have we exhausted CH readers' patience yet?
without really talking about the news
MEGAN: Oh, totally
SPENCER: and to think i didn't get around to asking you for a date

MOE: Hey yo are you busy right now? And if so, how busy?
Megan's on a plane and I NEED SOMEONE TO IM.
$PENCER: not so busy that i can't
OH SNAP SERIOUSLY????
MOE: SRSLY. I got yr text last night btw but I was too drunk to form words.
It was a good night.
$PENCER: you know i am extremely hungover
so that makes me total crappy hour material
MOE: That makes 2 retards!
$PENCER: woo
i feel like the high school kid who catches a long pass by accident outside football practice when the NFL scout coincidentally walks by!
MOE: What were you doing?? Watching the CLIFFHANGER that was the Mississippi primary?
$PENCER: i was plotting the future of blog-domination with matt yglesias
and going to a wizards-bucks game
MOE: Wow, that's quite an agenda! I went to three separate bars. At the first bar, they declared Mississippi for Obama with only 5% of the precincts reporting. And the 5% of the precincts reporting had gone 51%-47% for Hillary!
$PENCER: yglz used his iPhone to get us updates on the primary
is it true that Obama got like 30 percent of the white vote?
because i'm just not going to google that
MOE: I don't know! Maybe I should consult Memeorandum?
OH yup, it's on the front page of the Journal. He won "a third" of white voters.
and 90% of African Americans.
Geraldine Ferrarro should have it so easy.
$PENCER: i understand that this might not be true, but it seems like the whiter you are and the less educated you are, the more vociferous your distaste for obama
christ my head hurts too much to write a sentence like that.
was that english? was that a point?
OK let's talk about Geraldine Ferraro.
you posted about Samantha Power, and very admirably
She was a political novice, and someone who recognized her bluntness would inevitably get Obama in trouble
and she quit/was pushed out on day one-and-a-half of the story
MOE: I don't know if the distaste itself can be vociferous but my friend ryan was telling me that he was at Dunkin Donuts the other night (in Philadelphia) and an old Italian lady was like "you two! Who are you voting for? John McCain, or the black guy?" And him and his boyfriend were like "um, the black guy!" and the old lady got a spooky look in her eye and said "you know he's a COMMUNIST."
$PENCER: Geraldine Ferraro was a MOTHERFUCKING VP candidate
MOE: I didn't know that!
$PENCER: and she said that black people have it so easy in this country
MOE: Well she's also been a racist for at least twenty years
$PENCER: and she doesn't have to seperate herself from HRC's finance committee or whatever the fuck she does?
you know the piece i want to read
this is my assignment for you
or maybe for your friend jessica valenti out in astoria
go through Ferraro's old Queens district
and track anti-Obama sentiment
see if anyone uses the word "moulignan"
MOE: What does that mean? Like a TUMOR???
$PENCER: seriously, the other day i heard a respectable journalist who i never thought of as a racist refer to obama as "a black."
it was so dissonant — people say that? like he's an adjective?
MOE: Oh man I would just assuming he's being, you know, IRONICALLY racist.
$PENCER: moulignan = italian for eggplant; eggplant = the color of a black dude, at least if you're a charming person
MOE: Ahem
I would just "assume"
$PENCER: she! it was a she!!!
see, the problem with this country, as HRC is demonstrating
is white women
send that hate email now!
MOE: WEIRD. Well we have a column by our anonymous model coming soon about how models' moms feel about Obama and let me tell you the "He worships Allah 50 times a day" meme is not dead out there in the stagemom heartland.
$PENCER: well yglz and i were at the verizon center
and we stood for the pledge of allegiance because liberals love america
MOE: But yeah, the thing about Obama is that, mercifully, the race thing is like a side-plot with him. Whereas with Hillary it seems like EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION HAS TO BE ABOUT THE META CONVERSATION ABOUT BLAH BLAH BLAH PANTSUITS.
$PENCER: and then we noted that when obama wins, you won't be able to go to a sporting event without the call to prayer kicking it off
yeah can i ask you about that?
what's the case for pantsuits, moe? i need a woman to explain this to me
MOE: So that when we start talking about race with Obama, I'm like, "Wow, race. Now that is actually an interesting and urgent topic!"
$PENCER: i have this ex-gf whose mom always used the word "flattering" to describe her ideal articles of clothing
are pantsuits flattering?
MOE: I think pantsuits are more comfortable. Personally I hate skirts. But no, pantsuits are indisputably unflattering.
$PENCER: so it's comfort — i can understand that
this being the benefits of the patriarchy
i can come to work in jeans every day
and sneakers
not shoes that break my ankles and awkwardly distribute my weight
oh man you know Crass's song "Bata Motel"? I'm totally putting that on
MOE: Yeah i mean, you know, skirts always make you feel weird and exposed and you sit down and then you're like FUCK some perv is probably looking between my legs, why — I can't even tell you FUCK MEN I'M VOTING FOR THE LADY etc. etc.
$PENCER: Mike Lillis, who's next to me in the Washington Independent news room? WATCH THE FUCK OUT, anarcho peace punk ahoy
MOE: OH man you're at, like, an office!
$PENCER: I KNOW
a blogger!
it's not my couch or Mocha Hut anymore!
(peace to Mocha Hut, best coffee shop in DC)
(13th & U St, ask for Eden, she'll hook you up)
but you raise a serious point
which is
in my experience these last two weeks, the Hillary thing has become a minefield
where my women-journalist friends who don't particularly carry a torch for HRC
MOE: So weird. I'm wearing cutoff jean shorts fashioned out of a pair of Gap jeans my sister used to call her "lesbian jeans" and a gray Costco fleece I stole from my dad. And black ankle socks and high top black Chucks. I think I slept in most of these garments. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. Maybe because the first email I received this morning was from Robert Morrow. ISRAELI INTELLIGENCE RECORDED BILL AND MONICA HAVING PHONE SEX.
$PENCER: react EXTREMELY strongly to any an all remote suggestions of sexism as motivating the hillary campaign
so my question to you: was Samantha's "Monster" comment sexist?
MOE: It's a good tactic, for them. And I didn't read sexism into "monster" at all. "Monster" is a weird word though. I mean, it could be like "macaca" and I have just not given it too much thought before now. But I think of "monster" and I think...Alistair Cookie.
And trucks.
$PENCER: trucks for sure
MOE: I don't get any feminazi vibes from that word.
$PENCER: howard wolfson should have called obama a Funny Car
in response
MOE: LOL. Wait though
We should talk about...
SPITZER
$PENCER: hear that, my friends? Jezebel officially says 'Monster' isn't sexist!!!
OH YES WE SHOULD
MOE: One of his whores, Sienna, is apparently talking to ABC News and I CANNOT FIND A CLIP OR ANYTHING.
$PENCER: she went on camera????
MOE: She is apparently curvy and blond
$PENCER: see what i didn't get from a lot of the coverage
is the $5500 price tag?
MOE: Well that's the weird thing! LIke, why would you talk to ABC News if not on camera? Do they have a website or something?
$5500, yes.
$PENCER: you're not paying that much for the sex, you're paying that much for the discretion
NOT THAT I HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH PROSTITUTES
oh man
my boss (my boss!) told me when the story broke to googleimage 'executive VIP' or whatever the fuck the prostitution ring is called
MOE: EMPERORS CLUB.
$PENCER: and as you'd expect some very NSFW pictures emerged
yeah
MOE: SAFESEARCH ONNNNN
$PENCER: and i was like, are you sure we should be searching for this stuff?
MOE: Oooooh ooooooh he's RESIGNING
BREAKING NEWS
$PENCER: the rest of the story i will leave out — oh snap!
MOE: NO ONE COULD HAVE ANTICIPATED THIS
$PENCER: there we go
Governor Blind Dude!
you know
on a personal note
what feels GREAT about all this is that one of Spitzer's biggest political fans & promoters is the evil editor-in-chief of the New Republic, Marty Peretz
so take THAT, homie! You sure ain't getting that ambassdorship now! How's that Gore presidency working out for ya? And don't front like you ACTUALLY like Obama, it's so obvs that you're starfucking for influence here plus you hate HRC
LIKE YOU HATE ALL WOMEN
MOE: Ummmmm hmmmmmmm! I'm not sure how to respond to this. Also MICHAEL KELLY HATES YOU IN HEAVEN ASSHOLE?
Or is that going overboard?
$PENCER: three weeks ago i officially abandoned coffee for red bull and it SHOWS
hahahahahaha LOLMYGOD
a Kelly joke!
i think we should now try to embarrass Mike Crowley as much as possible
hey i can see his Hair Cuttery apartment from my office!
MOE: Nooooooo no no Crowley will kill me noooooo.
$PENCER: FINE
so what's yr take on spitzer
whats — yr take on/ whats — yr take on
MOE: He already hates me over this one time I quoted him saying David Plotz dressed nicely bc he liked Fugazi.
$PENCER: oh man i shat all over david plotz on my blog the other day
MOE: But apparently David Plotz DOESN'T like Fugazi.
$PENCER: and plotz actually doesn't deserve it, it was an unfair attack
MOE: Clearly David Plotz was not sufficiently alienated in high school.
$PENCER: he was collateral damage for my real target of lying liar jeffrey goldberg
i think fugazi fans are pretty well adjusted in high school
high-functioning
MOE: I think this is getting somewhat insidery now though!
But yes, Spitzer.
$PENCER: good SATs without the prep course
now, Embrace fans...
anyway yeah spitzer
MOE: Well Bonnie Fuller is claming it's worse on his daughters than it is on Silda. Which is just total bullshit. You teach a woman not to trust men in their teens, maybe they won't have to learn the hard way like mom. Also, Jessica Grose has a theory that Silda got married for like 24 days in college because she was a Southern Baptist who just wanted to fuck. Neither here nor there though.
$PENCER: what, is she a Shiite?
wait i don't understand
why isn't it worse on his daughters? not that it's not awful for silda
aren't his daughters right now learning not to trust men?
MOE: Because they're TEENAGERS. Nothing that doesn't happen directly to you can be that devastating when you're a teenager. And yes! I'm saying that's a valuable lesson that will pay dividends etc.
$PENCER: isn't this direct enough?
ok i think i misunderstood you
MOE: I'm just saying, WORSE FOR SILDA.
$PENCER: ok yes it's MISERABLE for Silda
didn't the NYT report she was pushing for him not to resign?
MOE: Oh did they? Um, that was probably before she knew he spent EIGHTY GRAND OMFG
$PENCER: if so, do you think that's revenge? Like, "No, honey, stay in office. I want you to be hounded by what you did to me until your last motherfucking day as governor. Let's draw this out! Who wants cookies?"
MOE: That's like, half a college education or something!
$PENCER: hahaha
jesus
public corruption ahoy!
you know who's another loser in all this? POOR ALAN HEVESI
MOE: Alan Keyes?
$PENCER: poor bastard has a public limosine ferry him from one place to another like 3 times and he's hounded from office
meanwhile spitzer is boning whores with money from the state treasury while saying, 'Alan, this looks bad...'
MOE: Hahaha wow yeah. I mean, I guess we can learn something from this. There is really nothing to goddamn lose in being completely unequivocally self-righteous and morally superior at all times. Spitzer will rebound.
$PENCER: i just realized i typed 'ahoy' 2x in this IM
i never say ahoy in real life btw just saying
Spitzer comeback! Funded by Marty Peretz
MOE: I mean, Sinbad might call you out on it but no one listens to black guys; they have it so goddamn easy in this country
$PENCER: ahahahaha
MOE: So many of them getting a free ride in the nation's prisons.
$PENCER: actually this points to a weakness in obama's support
Sinbad is the only black comedian he can get to publicly support him?
Sinbad needs to be Shwarzenegger's VP when we change the constitution to let immigrants run for president
MOE: Well Dave Chappelle didn't go to Bosnia with Hillary Clinton.
$PENCER: Arnold-Sinbad 2016: Jingling All The Way To Washington
MOE: Yeah after a brief tenure as Charles Barkley's AG in Alabama
$PENCER: the politics of charles barkley would make for a good piece
MOE: So anyway, you know I should be posting this like TEN MINUTES AGO.
$PENCER: WAIT WAIT WAIT
MOE: There is still so much to discuss.
$PENCER: the most important thing of all:
are you going to come to DC this weekend to see my band play?
That's right, Jezebel readers: I am asking Moe out on a date ON HER OWN BLOG
IN PUBLIC
though i suppose you could edit that out, but wouldn't THAT be crappy
MOE: Oh your BAND is playing is your excuse? Does your band play Tenacious D covers?
$PENCER: answer the question!
MOE: Megan dated a guy in DC who played strictly tenacious D and flight of the conchords covers.
$PENCER: you are STALLING
will our hero make it?
i promise there will be no flight of the conchords
nor the D
i don't acutally think they're very funny
MOE: I am in New York. Maybe? What night? I may come! Or I may not get down there. Every time I go down to DC I get stuck for like the entire week because there's no Wifi in the train.
$PENCER: Saturday
MOE: It's a tough journey to make as a blogger.
$PENCER: cmon it'll be fun
MOE: Saturday is easier.
$PENCER: there's a Chinatown bus that has wifi these days
god you really make a guy feel special
MOE: I know, but it's impossible to find.
You have a CAR.
Easy for you to say.
$PENCER: i rented that!
MOE: oh I can't rent cars.
I don't currently have a drivers license.
I should pay off those fines I guess...
$PENCER: i got a summons when i drove back down to DC the other weekend
reckless endangerment
have a court date in NJ & everything
MOE: Maybe next time I'm in PA for the primary I am going to lose.
$PENCER: all i was doing was speeding
MOE: I love it getting a speeding ticket in Maryland. LIKE YEAH I'LL SEE YOU IN ANNAPOLIS SURE BUDDY
$PENCER: crank dat bench warrant
so, seriously? i'm manning up & asking you out, after you said you were coming to DC anyway, and all I get is a maybe?
tumbleweed tumbles
crickets
MOE: Hahaha SPENCER. It's DC LIKE FOUR HOURS AWAY
$PENCER: so fucking what?
it's a bus
MOE: LIKE $250
$PENCER: you nap
t's like $40 roundrip!
MOE: i do not take the bus.
$PENCER: books/magazines/ipods
ohhhhh i see how fancy
MOE: ughhhhhh
$PENCER: it's not like i cost $5500
MOE: I think you don't understand how worthless I am after the blogweek. It is a lot of effort just getting out of my house
hahaha
$PENCER: live a little
MOE: Wait, hold on. JOHN MCCAIN. Can we discuss John McCain for negative two minutes? LIKE HOW HE'S GOING TO BE PRESIDENT AND NO ONE'S PAYING ATTENTION
$PENCER: there will be a very very good piece coming by Yglesias about what the stakes actually are with McCain
the truest militarist in american politics
now, on his chances, if it turns out to be HRC, then yeah, he wins — the base turns out for him, raises money, blah blah blah
if it's Obama, none of those incentives exist
and since obama's winning in pledged delegates & HRC has to resort to this FL/MI chicanery, it seems like the country can still be spared president mccain
or as a RIGHTWING friend of mine calls him, Senator Tiger Cage
wanna hear the most tasteless joke in DC?
Hey! Everyone who wants to be president! Raise your hand!!!
MOE: ummmm I would laugh at that joke if CHELSEA CLINTON was telling it.
$PENCER: and that's DC
for REAL
don't it make you want to get on an Amtrak
MOE: OMG that was my favorite part of the Spitzer thing. HE DIDN'T EVEN SPLURGE ON THE ACELA.
$PENCER: HAHAHAHA RLY????
MOE: $5500
yeah. Leave it to Milbank to notice the literary details
$PENCER: that's what happens when you can't expense it