While we've long been taught that first impressions are basically a function of experience, Professor Helen Fisher of Rutgers University says this isn't the case: according to MRI studies she did, "love" - as defined by science - can be instantaneous. According to The Guardian

The idea that you can infer more from a brief encounter than just sexual attraction is supported by findings from the Perception Lab at the University of St Andrews, which suggests that it may be possible to identify men who are more likely to indulge in short-term flings from facial features alone. In the study, 700 heterosexual participants were shown pairs of photographs of facial images of men and women in their early 20s who held opposing views on relationships. When asked to choose the male faces they felt would be more open to one-night stands, the majority chose correctly. The same faces were also judged to be the most masculine - characterised by a strong jaw, heavy brow ridges, a high forehead and larger nose.

While this sounds suspiciously like phrenology - and as such evokes various vague eugenics associations - Fisher claims that the hormones testosterone, estrogen, dopamine and serotonin can help determine "not only facial features but character types."

She would argue that the physically masculine men in the study above display an openness to one-night stands due to increased prenatal testosterone, and has found that women and men who have a round "baby" face, puffy lips, small nose and big eyes are likely to have had more exposure to oestrogen before birth which, she argues, may make them a better bet for something long-term.

While off the tops of our heads we can think of exceptions to this rule, we suppose we're willing to give it some hypothetical cred. That said, can nature trump nurture in this regard? And what about the fact that, according to these criteria, we're apparently programmed to think of assholes as attractive and "masculine?" Fisher also makes correlations between people's one-word self-description and the pre-natal hormone levels...but surely that kind of response is conditioned by society, upbringing, and the person you're talking to? Here's the thing: in a lab, all this might be true. But as we all know too well, the dating world is anything but controlled...and a lot depends on how bad the last guy was.
Written all over your face [The Guardian]

• Australia: newspapers ran sweet musings from lovebirds, like this one, from a dude named Johnny — "I love 2 Things. Cars & u." Swoon! Also, hopeful singletons did some speed dating on gorgeous Bondi Beach. Not a bad way to ring in the 14th.
• China: couples in Hong Kong have co-opted the Finnish Tradition of wife-carrying. It's pretty self-explanatory: you race against other dudes whilst carrying your wife. According to Reuters, the tradition dates back to the 19th century, when bandits used to steal wives from neighboring villages. In northern China, V-day is a leeetle bit more staid. In Ching Mai, teens are giving blood in a campaign called "I'd rather lose blood than virginity."
• Japan: Valentine's Day is only celebrated by women in Japan — men give their honeys presents in March on a day called "White Day." 500 women went to a mountain shrine called Kuzuryu to pray for love. "I prayed for the man I love to fall in love with me," 25-year-old Ayumi Sakai told Reuters. Aw! Girl, find yourself a man who loves you back instead of going to a shrine to pray for this loser. But that's just my opinion.
• Kenya: after several months of ethnic clashes, Nairobi flower mongers are preparing gift baskets of red roses. (Those flowers should totally make the 45 women raped each day during the current Kenyan violence feel so much better!)
• Philippines: In this very Catholic country, the Cardinal suggests attending mass or saying the rosary to keep your mind off nookie. "It's best to look for honest-to-goodness entertainment," he told Reuters. Sounds... fun.
• Thailand: the Thai government wants to make sure that teens are not getting it on this V-Day. Every February 14th they turn on all the lights at full blast in public parks and urge parents to make their teens come home early. Oh well, there's always making out in the bathroom at McDonald's!

Love In The Air From Bondi To Bangkok To Beijing [Reuters]
Wife-carrying Valentine Contest [Reuters]
Kenya Embraces Valentine's Day [Reuters]
Rape Is A Weapon Used In Ethnic Violence [AP]
No Sex On Valentine's, Thai Police Warn Teens [Reuters]

Just when you thought that the twin concepts of 'New York' and 'Speed Dating' couldn't get any more evil, along comes Elite Speed Dating.

Reducing marriage to a basic of him=money, her=physical appearance, Elite Speed Dating is something that we feel really does deserve the accolade of 'only in New York folks', simply because of its shameless barefaced candour.

"A man hoping to snag the woman of his dreams will be judged by pretty stiff criteria. Guys who are 25 and under must make at least $200,000 a year, and men between the ages of 26 and 30 have to bring home $300,000 a year. Older than 30? The required income level jumps to $500,000.

Not gainfully employed? No problem. Men who have at least $1 million in invested assets or a $4 million trust fund can apply."

And then, the kicker:

"For women there's only one guideline: beauty. Five photos are all that's needed to enter the competition. Education, profession, personality and income will not be considered.

We're off to vomit. Or poop our pants. Or both.

[Idiots who probably deserve each other will probably end up with each other]