Good for her! I find it interesting that no one has dug up the name of her abuser - weren't they married? Isn't that public record? Or would that be a bad idea? #marymurphy
Yeah, there's also a huge difference in treatment because Murphy is white and Rihanna is black. Rihanna bore the full brunt of both sexism and racism in the aftermath of her assault. I am not surprised at the disparity of the comments at all, and I'm surprised no one here has brought it up.
@Tippi Hedren: I just don't see how this particular story would boost viewership for SYTYCD. I know they say there's no such thing as bad publicity, but I can't see this actually making someone want to watch a dance show if they're not into it. #marymurphy
@Tippi Hedren: I suppose it's possible that Murphy may be lying about enduring abuse; a small but significant number of people do. However, I doubt in Murphy's case that it has to do with increasing ratings for So You Think You Can Dance. It's not "her" show; it's a television show that she happens to appear on. Additionally, she's a tremendously successful and highly respected dancer and choreographer quite apart from any duties she has on television. Mary Murphy's career is eminently secure, so it seems highly unlikely that this is a mendacious stunt to gain viewers.
All people who suffer rape and assault by the hands of someone they love have something to gain by speaking about it: self respect. #marymurphy
@Harlot Brontë: I really identify with your last statement. Regaining your self respect is a big deal.
I am still not open about my abuse with my family members. The reason? I'm ashamed. 5 years and countless therapy sessions, and I still feel shame. Every time I tell a friend what happened to me, it's like I get a piece of myself back. It's not easy to do, and I admire Mary Murphy. #marymurphy
@All: My comment was solely in response to "But Murphy doesn't seem to have much to gain from lying (she's not, for the cynics out there, promoting a book)."
You all can continue to freak out at me if you'd like, but I'm not interested. #marymurphy
@curiousgeorgiana: And is it not empowering to see someone who you wouldn't guessed ever suffered abuse come right out and say it? Put a face to this crime? I don't think she has anything to gain from the public declaration, except for rebuilding her self-esteem & potentially helping others who've shared this pain.
A woman I work with mentioned once that she'd been abused by her ex-husband. I was stunned because I can't imagine her as a victim - which is precisely why people need to speak out. It can happen to anyone, and curiousgeorgiana I really hope one day you can share this with your family and get that peace you deserve. #marymurphy
@Tippi Hedren: I don't think anyone's freaking out here, merely airing differences of opinion, kicking around the ol' conversation ball. You posited that Mary Murphy did have something material to gain through publicising her abuse, an entirely valid point. Others held a different opinion, and felt this was short-changing the value of speaking openly about abuse.
We don't all have to be in lock-step agreement to have a useful conversation, right? Come on, let's not give up on this too easily. It's an interesting subject, and I'd like to hear what else you have to say. #marymurphy
@mikaelamac: Absolutely. Abuse in the abstract is sad, but so easy to drift past and forget. Putting a familiar and unexpected face on that kind of suffering inverts a lot of the lazy thinking we (by which I really mean me) have about survivors of abuse. Talking about this stuff has real value, not just for Murphy herself, but all of us. #marymurphy
@Harlot Brontë: Saying "FAIL" and starting replies with the ever condescending "Um..." are not really ways of opening conversations.
I'm cynical sure, but I made no statement about whether or not this happened to her. Only that she does, in fact, have something to gain. It seems that there is probably a better/more valuable way to open up to abuse victims than through a crappy gossip rag. #marymurphy
@Tippi Hedren: I agree with you that it's not possible to fully assess her motives (if she has any).
I don't mind her choice of US Weekly, however. I see that magazine at the gym, at the doctor's office, in line at the grocery store. To see Mary on the cover sharing her story might be helpful to an abuse victim or even the public in general. #marymurphy
@Harlot Brontë: Your last paragraph is so spot-on. I'm working on a book that addresses my own experiences in an abusive relationship (not the focus of the book, but it shows up), and I write at length about the battle to build some semblance of self-respect after the relationship.
Speaking out about the darkest, most shameful parts of our lives is not a bad thing, and in fact can be healing, not just for the person doing the speaking, but for anyone who has gone through something similar and hears that story, because it lets them know they aren't alone.
@curiousgeorgiana: I just came out to my family about abuse from 20 years ago, because my niece was similarly abused. I wanted to put a face on domestic violence--one that she knew and respected. And I wanted to take away part of her shame and blame, and give her that piece of herself back. I wish I had been open years ago, so my family had always known this part of me. So I am sending you hugs and support. Sincerely, and with love. #marymurphy
@midwesternmom: That is such a great expression of love and support to your niece and congratulations on your bravery for doing so. Thank you so much. #marymurphy
Maybe age is a factor? Mary Murphy looks like someone's mom. Where as Rhianna and Chris Brown were 19 and 21, right? Now, I never doubted that Rhianna was done wrong in this case, especially after the picture was leaked. But I've certainly known young couples who get drunk and violent, and neither party is innocent in the matter. I've known fewer couples who act that way at an older age. That might explain some of the difference in reaction, though I admit the Rhianna backlash has astounded me in its persistence and vitriol. #marymurphy
@Adah: I think age is definitely a factor. It's still mainly younger people who are discussing this stuff on the internet, and as a general rule, I think we tend to be one hell of a lot harder on people our own age. We project a lot of our own shit on celebrities we relate to personally, and, foolish as Mary Murphy can sometimes be, she just isn't a psychological stand-in for us. She's the slightly inappropriate auntie figure, and therefore gets a lot of our easy affection. No controversy, so no real hang-ups in acknowledging her suffering. #marymurphy
I am sorry, but I cannot hold my tongue any longer: Chynna Phillips is batshit and the American people NEED Neicey Nash in primetime, 5 days a week on network television.
Cunning Life Lessons:
1. Never trust anyone who, mid-conversation, breaks out into an a-capella performance.
2. If your driver starts dry-shaving, tuck and roll out of that car.
@sebluver: yeah, when I think back to my college road trips, I'm kind of amazed I didn't die or get arrested. Or end up horribly disfigured.
The thing I don't get about dry-shaver is... don't you have a house? Why are you dry shaving, in a car no less? Do you sink-bathe yourself out of a cup of water in your car?
I watched the Objectum Sexuals documentary thing on youtube a while ago and found it super interesting, if still difficult to understand. I'll admit I'm sort of Tyra's team about "this is crazy," but I'll also freely admit that I could be a closed-minded jerkwad.
Anyway, the woman who was on Tyra has had some kind of superglam makeover, and I'm curious if this was addressed on the Tyra show and if they did it for her. If they glammed her up, I will be mildly irked that they felt the need. If she just decided to be glam on her own, I will let Tyra go on that one.
@Ultraprison!: She's from Wilson Phillips, with their wonderful hits 'Hold On' and 'Release Me' that play in supermarkets and convenience stores all the time.
@everythingsfree: I probably should be embarrassed that like 90% of my favorite music gets played in grocery stores, but I just feel like that's a perk!
I had to stop the GMA Chynna Phillips clip when she started the a capella rendition of her "beautiful" song from the album that Jesus is really rooting for (alongside her sister's incest book).
Yes, dumbass, Jesus made your father an incesty lech and put your sister through her hellish life so that YOUR ALBUM would have a boost on its release date. That was His big plan.
No, lady in pink, you are not a good driver. The people around you who have to swerve out of their lane after you almost hit them with your Escalade because you were on Facebook updating your status to "Off to tanning salon, then to Forever 21 to get new panties!!1! Luv u Mark! are the good drivers. You are just lucky other people know how to drive around assholes like you. Just wait till you cut in the lane of another idiot twittering and driving, and they don't get out of the way in time.
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10/21/09
I'm not saying that her allegations are false, I'm just saying that maybe she DOES have something to gain. #marymurphy
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
All people who suffer rape and assault by the hands of someone they love have something to gain by speaking about it: self respect. #marymurphy
10/21/09
10/21/09
I am still not open about my abuse with my family members. The reason? I'm ashamed. 5 years and countless therapy sessions, and I still feel shame. Every time I tell a friend what happened to me, it's like I get a piece of myself back. It's not easy to do, and I admire Mary Murphy. #marymurphy
10/21/09
You all can continue to freak out at me if you'd like, but I'm not interested. #marymurphy
10/21/09
A woman I work with mentioned once that she'd been abused by her ex-husband. I was stunned because I can't imagine her as a victim - which is precisely why people need to speak out. It can happen to anyone, and curiousgeorgiana I really hope one day you can share this with your family and get that peace you deserve. #marymurphy
10/21/09
10/21/09
We don't all have to be in lock-step agreement to have a useful conversation, right? Come on, let's not give up on this too easily. It's an interesting subject, and I'd like to hear what else you have to say. #marymurphy
10/21/09
10/21/09
I'm cynical sure, but I made no statement about whether or not this happened to her. Only that she does, in fact, have something to gain. It seems that there is probably a better/more valuable way to open up to abuse victims than through a crappy gossip rag. #marymurphy
10/21/09
I don't mind her choice of US Weekly, however. I see that magazine at the gym, at the doctor's office, in line at the grocery store. To see Mary on the cover sharing her story might be helpful to an abuse victim or even the public in general. #marymurphy
10/21/09
10/21/09
Speaking out about the darkest, most shameful parts of our lives is not a bad thing, and in fact can be healing, not just for the person doing the speaking, but for anyone who has gone through something similar and hears that story, because it lets them know they aren't alone.
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/03/09
10/02/09
1. Never trust anyone who, mid-conversation, breaks out into an a-capella performance.
2. If your driver starts dry-shaving, tuck and roll out of that car.
10/02/09
10/02/09
Also, I should add I was in the car, and it was at that moment I got kind of worried I would die.
10/02/09
The thing I don't get about dry-shaver is... don't you have a house? Why are you dry shaving, in a car no less? Do you sink-bathe yourself out of a cup of water in your car?
10/02/09
Anyway, the woman who was on Tyra has had some kind of superglam makeover, and I'm curious if this was addressed on the Tyra show and if they did it for her. If they glammed her up, I will be mildly irked that they felt the need. If she just decided to be glam on her own, I will let Tyra go on that one.
10/02/09
10/02/09
Though that background music is obnoxious.
10/02/09
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10/02/09
10/02/09
10/02/09
10/02/09
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10/02/09
Yes, dumbass, Jesus made your father an incesty lech and put your sister through her hellish life so that YOUR ALBUM would have a boost on its release date. That was His big plan.
10/02/09