• We spent way too much time talking about Sarah Palin's sexy secretary garb and how much it cost and/or did not cost. But what we really want to know is how Palin gets her hair so big. Maybe her bouffant is built out of campaign secrets and the souls of unborn babies.
• Maybe all Sarah needs is a good talking to from Tyra and Judge Judy. Then she'd learn to keep her receipts in order!
• She has about as much sense as these crazy cat people. (We kid, we love them.)
• But probably a lot more sense than Elisabeth Hasselbeck, whose t-shirt wearing antics have torn The View asunder.
• Breaking: Goop makes us gassy.

• Maybe that's why these Urban Outfitters moddles look so bummed out: they're suffering from a severe case of soy farts!
• Also a bummer: potential voter suppression.
• Interviewing Sarah Haskings confirmed our suspicions that she is awesome.
• Attention It Girls, it's Friday. So rock out with your grillz out and have a great weekend.

• A choir teacher in San Diego called a student an "ugly brat," then literally kicked her out of the classroom. • Disturbing fertility news: even half a serving of soy a day can lower a man's sperm count — effects are more pronounced if he's overweight. • Disturbing adoption news: DNA tests show an abducted Guatemalan baby was adopted by a US couple. Several more abducted babies have been found in Guatemalan orphanages, leading some to believe the practice is widespread. • And some reassuring news: belly and thigh fat is a great source of stem cells, which could cure disease and even remove wrinkles. So eat that donut — unless you're a man, you want a baby, and it's made of soy.