While I do agree, to a certain extent, that every relationship has a "soundtrack" of sorts, I find that most real relationship soundtracks don't match up to the darling pitch perfect ones selected for the twee movie couples of the moment: while movie soundtracks certainly convey mood and emotion through carefully selected tunes and lyrics, a real relationship soundtrack is often made up of accidental sentimentals, the kinds of songs that come into your life at random times in order to shape a specific memory.

My bf and I have been together for nearly ten years (and we both like The Smiths, oh no!) and we have similar, but thankfully not identical, tastes in music. However, if you asked me to compile a musical relationship soundtrack, it would probably consist of cringe-worthy songs that happened to be playing at specific moments: the Vengaboys "Sha La La," for example, an incredibly terrible song which haunted us everywhere we went the first time I visited his hometown in Ireland. It's not the kind of song I'd carry around on my iPod, but it would have a spot on the soundtrack, like it or not, because when I hear it, I'm reminded of how it stalked us across the entire country for a solid 2 weeks, and how funny we thought it was when we were 18 or so.

I think we'd all like to think that our soundtrack would be perfectly selected, movie style, but life doesn't really work that way. It actually irritates me, to be honest, when soundtracks take over a romantic film, as the calculation behind it makes love itself seem easily packaged. This is not to say that the Vengaboys should make an appearance (for the love of god, NO) in any Zooey Deschanel movie anytime soon, but a couple bonding over a certain band—even the Smiths—doesn't spell out true love or disaster as much as it spells out a mutual appreciation for a certain aesthetic. And while that's all well and good, it's not necessarily a completely honest assessment of any relationship.

Sometimes, though the movies would have you believe otherwise, the happiest memories are attached to songs that don't seem to go along with the overall picture. And though I'd be happy enough listening to the Smiths forever and the Vengaboys never, on the rare occasion that I do hear "Sha La La" it never fails to make me laugh. You can pick the people you choose to spend your time with, but I guess you can't always pick the soundtrack to your memories.

Feel free to list the soundtracks to your relationships—cringe-worthy jams and all—in the comments below.

500 Days Message: Every Relationship Has A Soundtrack [LATimes]

It's really not shocking that since all other modes of self-expression — clothes, food, closet organizing, home decor — have been farmed out, music, the most judgey of all media, should follow. We've all known the anxiety of seeing some judgmental hipster ass reach for our CD book or the shallow elation of having the same person ask casually what it is you're playing. Music conveys taste, sophistication, irony, confidence — this is not news. What shocks me is not that people would want to leave this task in professional hands — but, rather, that they're not embarrassed to admit publicly that they don't have individual tastes and opinions.

Of course, I'm sure they don't admit the music has been curated. (Do they study up, so they can casually drop the names of obscure artists if people ask?) That would defeat the whole purpose. And this sort of casual domestic treachery is the name of the game nowadays — think about the spate of weird commercials in which people try to pass off supermarket desserts as homemade and cheap candles as boutique! But doesn't something in them rebel at relinquishing this most personal of synecdoches? More to the point, as anyone who's logged any time in retail can tell you, being at the mercy of even the most tasteful other's musical whims can be the cruelest kind of torture.

"Hiring someone to make those decisions for you suggests that you simply don't know who you are," says Gary Susma in EW. Well, maybe, but that strikes me as a bit harsh: the truth is, I'm always delighted to get a recommendation or a mix from a friend whose musical tastes I respect — and I'm flattered when people like the bizarre mixes I dish out with regularity (and yes, a part of me is kind of wondering how you get into this racket!) Nowadays, the music you play is judged harshly and often unfairly and I think it's a natural defense to slough off one superficial burden in a superficial world, where we're judged on enough things we can't control. But most of us have the break in place that knows not only that we'd be embarrassing ourselves with our naked insecurity, but that we'd be buying into a culture that fosters it. Is lack of embarrassment a privilege of the new wealth? Makes poverty feel bearable!

Does This Song Match My Sofa? [NY Times]
Do We Really Need To Hire Personal Playlist Consultants? [EW]