Jezebel: sound advice

Instructional Video: Queefing

Tracie — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Happy Friday! Looking for something to do this weekend? How about learning a new skill? How about queefing on command? Here's an instructional video to show you how! You know, it's crass and stuff, but I kinda love the idea of queefing on command because it's something hilarious and immature that only girls can do. Because you know that if boys had the ability to queef, they'd do it all the time and the most inappropriate moments and develop some kind of game like "Door Knob" around it.

Earlier: Queefs: What's The Etiquette For Dealing With Air Up There?

Queefs: What's The Etiquette For Dealing With Air Up There?

Slut Machine — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:00:00 EST

Of all the embarrassing stuff that can happen during sex — urine leaks, unwelcome fingers in intimate places, saying the wrong person's name — queefing is right up there at the top of the list. It might be even more taboo than farting. But you know what? That's only because it's something that guys can't do, so they're freaked out by it, which in turn makes us women feel weirder about it. Dudes, on the other hand, find farts hilarious (and so do I, to be fair). But really, besides the fact that it can sound really funny, there's nothing gross about a queef. It's just an emission of air from the vadge that "does not involve waste gases and thus often has no specific odor associated," according to the Wikipedia page about "vaginal flatulence." (BTW, how much do you love that there's a Wikipedia entry about it!? Check out the discussion page that involves "odor edits.") Anyway, so here's the question: when a woman accidentally lets loose, what's the best way for playing it off without losing any of the sexy?

I don't know about anyone else, but I find that I queef most often when I'm switching up positions a lot during sex, especially if I go from an extended period of doggy to missionary. Through experience gained, I can usually feel when it's gonna happen, and I try to do this a sort of scoot/twitch/hip switch thing to try and get the air out of there relatively inaudibly before the dude has a chance to dip his dick back in.

But sometimes there's nothing that can be done about it, and I can't get control of it, and it's unstoppable and seemingly goes on forever. And then when I think it's stopped, some more squeaks out. I know in my head that it's stupid to be embarrassed about it, but when you're fucking someone for the first time, and your vagina is performing a symphony, it's kinda hard to not cringe with your whole being.

One time it happened but the guy was a really good sport about it, so much so that he then pushed down on my abdomen, and more came out, and so on, until he laughed so hard that he farted. That was great, actually. I should get back in touch with him.

But yes, laughing is really the best way to deal. Because if you try to ignore it, it just gets weird. At least for me, and then I lose my concentration and I can't come. And you never want to let manners come in the way of your orgasm.

We always knew we liked Dear Abby (real...

Jennifer — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:45:03 EDT

We always knew we liked Dear Abby (real name: Jeanne Phillips) for a reason! The all-American advice-columnist has given the big thumbs up to same-sex marriage: "There should be gay marriage. I believe if two people want to commit to each other, God bless 'em... That is the highest form of commitment, for heaven's sake... If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break... Accepting the status quo is not always the best thing to do... Women were once considered chattel, and slavery was regarded as sanctioned in the Bible... I don't think I'm a flaming radical. I'm for civility in life." Dear Abby, Will you run for President? Please? (On Barack's ticket of course.) Xo, Jez. [AP]