We're not quite sure if this viral video — which is being passed around among bloggers this morning — is staged, but if it is indeed real, we respect her ingenuity at attempting a Christmas miracle with the material available. Why it might be real: the young women laughing in the background sound like genuine bitches. Why it might be fake: Some of her mannerisms/utterances seem so over the top that they feel actress-y. Plus, what sorority girl can't afford a fine if she has to pay dues to belong to a clique anyway?

MSNBC:

“Legally Blonde” scribes Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith try desperately to rekindle the magic of that earlier triumph-of-the-bimbo classic, but “House Bunny” lacks the pop of a smart comedy. Characters completely change at random, misunderstandings are inflated to catastrophic levels, and the sputtering narrative has that feel of a movie that’s been extensively re-edited past the point of all coherence.

No surprise, then, that the director behind this mishmash is one Fred Wolf, who made his behind-the-camera debut with “Strange Wilderness,” which remains as of this writing the very worst film of 2008. There was nowhere to go but up from there, granted, but “House Bunny” doesn’t make the case that this man should be allowed within 25 yards of a movie camera. Watch the trailer on YouTube, and you’re done.

Associated Press:

It's essentially a female remake of Revenge of the Nerds, with a script from Legally Blonde writers Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith. Faris functions as a descendant from a long line of supposedly dumb blondes, but she's so unafraid of going for the big, goofy laugh that she makes this familiar role her own.

USA Today:

The movie gently mocks the Playboy ethos while portraying Hugh Hefner as a defanged old softie and Faris is often charming. She has one hilarious trick that shows how far she will go for a laugh — in a good way.

While Faris' comic fearlessness is a major asset, the movie tries to soften its edges with an obvious message —"be yourself" — that comes across as heartfelt and sincere as a centerfold's list of turn-ons.

The Hollywood Reporter:

It might wear its derivative, "Legally Blonde"-meets-"Mean Girls" trappings like a rhinestone thong, but strip away the second-hand attire, and "The House Bunny" still manages to stand on its own two skyscraper heels thanks to the comic force of nature that is Anna Faris.

Variety:

It's a little stroke of genius: Make a female-empowerment movie and cast it with Playboy Bunnies. Elevated via a strong script by "Legally Blonde" scribes Kirsten Smith and Karen McCullah Lutz, "The House Bunny" is a blissfully broad comedy that should catapult Anna Faris into a singular kind of stardom — she's funny, she's sexy, and her movie distinguishes itself grandly from a mostly gore-and-groin-fixated summer comedy season. Titles are sometimes dumped in mid- to late August, but good buzz could help this Fred Wolf-directed laffer break out beyond its young-femme target audience.

The New York Times:

All hail Anna Faris, fake bimbo par excellence, master of the birdbrained double take, our reigning queen of intelligent stupidity. On the sneaker-clad heels of “Smiley Face,” an inspired stoner farce from 2007, come the plastic stiletto shenanigans of “The House Bunny,” a breezy, ditzy comedy about the misadventures of a Playboy bunny exiled from the chinchilla cocoon of Hugh Hefner’s mansion.

The Village Voice:

Directed with little distinction by SNL vet Fred Wolf, The House Bunny operates on a skin-deep level and offers up the predictable inner-beauty message: As Faris turns her fugly charges into superficially gorgeous, judgmental twits, she finds her own slutty charms at a loss to woo the smart, dorky-cute man of her dreams (Colin Hanks). The screenwriting team of Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith are rather shamelessly aping their own Legally Blonde here, but they’ve given Faris some great ditzy one-liners and a few slapstick pratfalls worthy of Olympic gold. The movie basically exists on one plane, while Faris is on another—that exclusive aerie occupied by Judy Holliday, Carole Lombard, Lucille Ball and a few other blissfully original comedy goddesses.

Slate:

I don't want to even think about what all this means as a feminist allegory. Like Grease and The Breakfast Club, The House Bunny all but announces that lip gloss and tarty outfits pave the way to female self-actualization. And unlike those movies, it doesn't make the makeover process look particularly fun (though I did love a mascara-tutorial scene in which Shelley lectures the girls, "Remember, the eyes are the nipples of the face"). The Zetas—played by an odd lineup of newcomers that includes American Idol contestant Katharine McPhee and Rumer Willis, Bruce and Demi's daughter—go from stereotyped losers to stereotyped hotties with logic-defying speed (and making McPhee's character visibly pregnant without providing any back story is a tad disconcerting). But there's real pathos to a scene in which Shelley trots out all her porn-based seduction tricks on a date, only to discover that she's grossed out her man and made a fool of herself. The House Bunny can go only so far in satirizing the Playboy empire though, since it's clearly been approved by Hefner (who plays himself in scenes that take place inside the real mansion). But its founding premise—that the laws of soft porn translate poorly to the real world—is as close to a female empowerment message as you can expect in a movie like this.

'The House Bunny' opens today in wide release.

Related: Interview with Anna Faris in T Magazine [NYT]

The undercover officers in the sting, who looked young enough to be students, dressed and talked in a way that would make them blend into any crowd around campus, authorities say. They started going to fraternity parties, made some connections and then started appearing at other events near campus. Mosler says the officers were stunned to learn how openly drug dealers were operating. "The undercover officers would call the dealers and say, 'I'm looking to score, can you hook me up?' " the prosecutor says, "and the dealers wouldn't question it; they'd just say yes." Mosler says he believes that the dealers, many of them students, were operating under the false assumption that they would never get caught within the insular world of a college campus.

Feds Penetrated Drug Culture Easily At San Diego State [AP] Inside the San Diego State University Drug Bust [Newsweek] Related: Eight Great Blunders Of The Greeks [College OTR]

"No comment?" Okay then!

Reportorial duties thus totally completed, I guess I can share with you a little of what our sources are telling us about Phi Epsilon. It is, it seems, something of an anomaly at Hofstra: a "local" sorority governed by no national or academic body and with relatively low dues payable on a financial aid recipient budget; a sorority known for being "scrappy" on a campus more often associated with a word that rhymes with "scrappy" and that also conjures luxury goods and blow-outs. To its credit, Phi Epsilon purportedly celebrates diversity among its members, but that diversity yields a certain amount of "brutish" behavior. "It's not like a bunch of Prada bag toting idiots doing this," one said. According to our sources, who requested anonymity for fear of retribution, Phi Ep has a reputation for being particularly cruel throughout the hazing process; at the "Sister Dinner" referenced in yesterday's email, it is apparently common practice to order recruits to prepare an elaborate meal for their new community only to have it thrown in their faces. Girls who drop out of the process are harassed and mocked in public.

But the best part is their unique — and shockingly literal — approach to the the proverbial "Hell Night" celebrated by Greek Organizations across the land. On Hell Night, sisters are rumored to actually dig their own graves. They then spend the night in coffins. In the morning, they are "reborn as Phi Ep."

List of Social Fraternities And Sororities [Wikipedia] (Phi Epsilon is on there.)
Police Report Of Fight At Nacho Mamas [Hofstra Chronicle]
LI Co-Ed: Sorority A Hell House [NY Post]

Earlier: Would You Believe A Sorority Brands Pledges In The Groin With A Hot Fork?

Dear Alumni,

With the media outburst this morning regarding one of our depledges, we wanted

to inform all of you of what has been going on so you have the full story.

This past spring there was one depledge, Courtney Holt, who depledged after five

days claiming she had family problems and that her mother was on drugs. After

numerous spottings at the bar it became apparent that this girl was not only a

liar but a problem, consistently harassing our sisters. The night the new

girls, the Gamma Thetas, got in there was an altercation with her at the bar.

One of her friends punched our President, Lauren Werkiser in the face causing

our sisters to obviously react and throw her head into the wall. It was at this

point, three weeks after she depledged, when she decided to press hazing charges

against the sorority along with an 8 page report outlining some of the pledge

program including the Sister Dinner, the sitting before FR, and FR itself.

There was a full academic hearing conducted with administration and we were

found NOT GUILTY and the sorority did not suffer any repercussions. This past

Friday at happy hour there was another issue with her at the bar and one of the new girls found her room

vandalized with all of her Phi Ep paraphernalia destroyed and "cunt" written on

her wall. There was a report filed with public safety where Courtney Holt's

mother caused a huge scene and verbally attacked one of the sisters. Her mother

is now banned from Hofstra's campus.

And, here, from another tipster:

Yeah...I went to Hofstra. Phi Ep's got a solid rep for doing shit like that. I'm not only not surprised to hear that story, I've also heard about the fork before. So even if it's just a rumor, it's a pretty well known one. I've heard some other pretty vicious shit that they do to their pledges, but since I can't confirm it first hand, I'll just chalk it up to gossip.

Co-Ed: Hell Of A House

In both cases, the purgers valued a hidden, unofficial standard (conventional attractiveness, willingness to elevate politics over law) far more highly than their public, official standard (friendship/personal growth, enforcement of law). And to conceal this unsavory reality, they shifted the blame to the purgees, slandering them as lazy or incompetent underperformers.

So basically, the Bush administration fired a bunch of government lawyers because they were fat and ugly. I mean, "Shut Up!", right? But we checked out some pics, and we think maybe it's true! It totes made us miss the days when presidents were too horny to work around women who were not semi-butch. They just seemed so competent that way.

Dubya Zeta [Firedoglake]

We've long suspected this: Old, fat and/or Catholic women have the hardest time getting dates. [NY Times]

We've long suspected this too: Sororities are full of superficial, skinny white bitches. [Salon, via NY Times]

India's health minister requests ban on gender bias in ads due to high rates of female infanticide. [Feministing]

It's the female illegals and their children who may be suffering the worst in the war on immigration: some swept up in raids are living in jail cells with inadequate prenatal care and an inability to feed their young kids. [Firedoglake]

Elderly women in America aren't doing too well, either. [Huffington Post]

More proof that blondes really do have more fun! Apparently it's more difficult to drug-test light-hued hair than dark. [Slate]

Wee! It's true! Female primates smarter than male ones. [Washington Post]