• How do we feel about the fact that Miley Cyrus dressed as Julia Roberts' Pretty Woman hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold character for an '80s party to celebrate her 17th birthday Wednesday night? [Page Six]

• ANTM winner Nicole Fox had a "secret" meeting with Robert Pattinson… meaning, she ran into him backstage at Regis & Kelly. She says: "I was backstage going to the bathroom-in a bathroom I probably wasn't supposed to be using. But when I came out, [Pattinson] was in the hallway, like two feet away from me, [just] standing there. He was surrounded by his throng of people. And so I didn't want to feel like a dorky fangirl. I just looked down at my shoes and walked away." Of course Nicole admits: "I haven't seen the Twilight movies… Perhaps I will begin to watch [them] now that I saw him in real life." [E!]
• Madonna visited a "lawless favela" in Rio — and wore a bullet-proof vest under her leather jacket. Doesn't she know that music makes the people come together? Doesn't she know that music makes the bourgeoisie and the rebel? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's guard dog, Floyd, attacked a flight attendant on a private jet; and an animal behaviorist says the German Shepherd is a menace who needed counseling. [NY Daily News]
• Monday is the series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8, and in the ep, the two "continue to make the transition into single parenthood." Kate takes the kids to milk a cow; Jon takes them to a fire station. [NY Daily News]
• MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett suggests that this Thanksgiving, we should be grateful for the end of Jon & Kate. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer says while the director is imprisoned in Switzerland, his wife and two children are "very upset psychologically by this separation that is a true heartbreak" for them. [MSNBC via AP]
• Tila Tequila says her naked Ustream rant — which has since been removed from the interwebs — was caused by "flashbacks" and "pressure" related to her allegedly violent incident with her ex, Shawne Merriman. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga is set to do some songs at this year's Royal Variety Performance — which is attended by the Queen. This column questions whether she will actually pretended to stab herself to death while playing the piano and then hang from the ceiling, covered in blood — when the Queen is watching. [Daily Mail]
• Remember when hip-hop had beef? Beanie Sigel and Jay-Z are bringing it back. [Gatecrasher]
• Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens — known in the tween mags as Zanessa — have not broken up, despite rumors. Things are going well, they are rich and young and sexy and happy, etc, etc, etc. [Us]
• Jon Gosselin's lawyer says Kate Major's lawsuit is a joke. Finally we agree on something! [Radar Online]
• Audrina Patridge from The Hills and Mark Sallin, aka Puck from Glee: Spotted flirting and leaving a party together. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Amber Rose spotted without Kanye. [Page Six]
• Kathy Hilton has been in touch with the Jacksons and says that Paris, Prince and Blanket are "wonderful" and their "grandmother is incredible" and they "could not be in better hands." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate testified yesterday, saying that she was living in a West Virginia motel around the time a police chief allegedly broke into her home in Ohio. [NY Post]
• Fergie, the Duchess of York, went to Turkey last year with daughter Princess Eugenie to investigate the treatment of mentally and physically disabled children in orphanages. The Duchess wore a dark wig and headscarf and posed as an aid worker to get the story for a TV exposé; now she's been served papers and may have to stand trial in Turkey — she's is accused of breaking laws that ban secret filming and trespassing on government property in the country. [Mirror]
• Jordin Sparks had an appendectomy yesterday. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver believes that the James Cameron film Avatar will make all the money back, because people will see it several times. She also says Cameron was "always sweet" to her during Aliens. [NY Mag]
• The Jonas Brothers are promoting Xbox 360 with Jonas-centric ads. [NY Times]
• "Do lesbians rule Hollywood? Ask Jane Lynch." [Guardian]
• This video of Hayden Panettiere is bukkake/facial-esque. [The Life Files]
• Ruh-roh: Eddie Cibrian is suing Life & Style, because the mag published stories which allegedly "falsely portray Eddie as being unfaithful to LeAnn Rimes, as currently being in a romantic relationship with [some other woman] and as having abandoned his children." Can they get out of the lawsuit if, at the end of each story, the copy reads, "Aoccirding to a source"? [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost is publishing her autobiography, which will probably have details about her BFF Kate Moss, the catty fashion world, and ex husband Jude Law. [Daily Express]
• When Jamie Cullum said that girlfriend Sophie Dahl "has a face for radio," he was probably joking. [Daily Express]
• Uma Thurman will play Robert Pattinson's wife in a film called Bel Ami, based on a Guy de Maupassant's short story. [The Hollywood Reported]
• James Van Der Beek has filed for divorce from his wife of six years. [USA Today]
• James Caan has filed for divorce from his wife of 14 years. [USA Today]
• At the link, Freddie Mercury's mother talks about her son eighteen years after his death. [BBC News]
• "I think probably the first thing that was an incredible hurdle was that I wasn't going to be able to do this privately like most people, and that took a really long time to get over." — Chaz Bono, on the hardest part of his sex change. [People]
• "She sent me sexy pictures of herself in a bikini and stuff, but nothing worse than the stuff you find now by just Googling her name." — one of Carrie Prejean's ex boyfriends — and not the one she sent the "solo sex tape" to. [E!]
• "It was scary, but it was so much fun. It was great seeing that we were all feeling the same way. There was a great support system on that set, all the actors with each other and with Rob [Marshall]. I had danced classical ballet before, so this was very different from what I had studied. We had a room in our building and we were all taking different classes. We would all pass each other in the hallway. All day, training. We all felt so free and so happy. Music was so present everywhere. That elevates people, music. It was so addictive, that experience." — Penelope Cruz on the six-week rehearsal period she, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard had for Nine, in which they took dancing and singing lessons. [USA Today]
• "What people don't realize is, I am managing my image, more than maybe the editor of OUT magazine likes to give anybody credit for. My team is a team. And I really feel fortunate that 19 Management and Simon Fuller said to me, from the get-go, 'We want to do what you want to do. You need to tell us how you want to do things, what interests you have,' and they've been incredibly supportive of me. I really mean it. I'm not being puppeted around. I didn't want to jump onto a gay magazine as my first thing, because I feel like that's putting myself in a box and limiting myself. It was my desire to stay away from talking about certain political and civil rights issues because I'm not a politician. I'm an entertainer. That is not my area of expertise. I can talk about relationships and personal experiences because as an artist those things involve writing lyrics and that part of my process. But I didn't feel comfortable talking about the March on Washington. I didn't feel comfortable, so I asked my publicist to ask the interviewer to stay away from the political questions. I take full responsibility for that. I think that the editor has his agenda and has his opinions, which I respect, but they're not necessarily my opinions. And I wish there was a little respect for that. Not every gay man is the same gay man." — Adam Lambert. [EW]
• "I've never told anyone this before. This is a hair scoop. Shower before you go to bed, and then sleep on your wet hair. Towel-dry it. In the morning, it's all messed up naturally. If you have that messed-up thing going when you wake up, it's more willing to stay that way. That's Zac's hair tip." — Zac Efron. [Time]
• "[When I was younger] I wasn't confident in my sexuality but I had these thoughts, these desires and these passions inside me. I never knew how to exorcise them until probably the first time I had sex, and it was a great experience. I felt like, why should I be so hindered about this? [I thought about porn] …I thought, why should sex have to be dirty or scary? And if it is, why can't you turn that into a positive thing and work through that sensually and find something good out of that, something pleasurable." — Sasha Grey. [Telegraph]
• "I would not say that I lost faith in Twitter, I would say that I lost faith in my ability to negotiate it. I don't know about you but whenever I read a blog I do not let my eye drop below half the screen in case I accidentally hit the bit where the comments reside. Of all the stinking, sliding, scuttling, weird, entomological creatures that inhabit the floor of the internet those comments on blogs are the most unbearable, almost beyond imagining. Their resentment, their desire to be heard at the most vituperative level, at the most unpleasant and malevolent, genuinely ill-willed malevolent, level is terrifying and I am very often simply not able to cope with that. Twitter is usually not like that... [but] I found that the @ mentions were just getting... I could see these comments that would just make me upset." — Stephen Fry. [Guardian]
• "I've had some bad moments where I've woken up under a car with the engine still running." — Zach Galifianakis. [Page Six]
• "She wears really, really attractive underwear." — Bono on his wife. Well, not on. But maybe. [Gatecrasher]
• "They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy." — Tina Fey. [Page Six]

Elisabetta Canalis is either besotted with her escort, or grinning through the chagrin of realizing she's wearing a leather train.


Aw, Dahls represent! And, um, Jamie Cullum too, of course.


This may be the first time I mention my great love of Romola Garai, it won't be the last. Partially because she always puts together a great look, but still looks incredibly ill-at-ease on the red carpet.


There was a brief period when I thought maybe it would be a good idea to date Wes Anderson, because I had a few ideas for his films. Then I saw "Hotel Chevalier" and our romance was over.


Oddly enough, I don't hold "Hotel Chevalier" against Jason Schwartzman, though. Possibly because he always looks so unexpectedly right in black tie.


Miriam D'Abo is obviously inspired by her robes and pilgrim shoes. I'm more...perplexed.


Sandra Hebron looks the picture of safe elegance...then you reach the orthopedic evening shoes.


Cindy Crawford, from the heights of perfection, is also giving them the side-eye.


Somehow, the two weirds of Bill Murray and this hat almost cancel each other out.


It's official: Thandie Newton may have the most adorable children in the world.

[Images via Getty]

• Model turned cookbook author Sophie Dahl is getting her own cooking show on BBC 2. Dahl says her show will cover on the "emotional" side of food. "It's cooking with an anecdotal thread, irreverent, unpredictable and not without flaw." [Sun]

• Tilda Swinton will be the Spring 2010 face of Pringle of Scotland. Ryan McGinley, who's also behind the current Levi's 501s campaign, will shoot the ads, and a short film featuring the actress. [WWD]
• Target reps denied that Anna Sui's upcoming collection for the retailer was in trouble for its Gossip Girl theme. (Rumors had circulated earlier this week that Sui's clothes were set to be worn by extras in a scene for an upcoming episode, but that executives at the chain were made uncomfortable by the teen soap's debauchery.) The Sui collection hits stores on September 14. [Stylelist]
• And nor, apparently, is it true that Kate Moss is going to be a part of Sir Philip Green and Simon Cowell's new global entertainment company. [WWD]
• Forever 21 is expanding into homewares and beauty. [WWD]
• Three armed men robbed a Cartier store in Cannes and got away — so far — with $20.9 million worth of jewels. [WWD]
• Two biographies of the late editor/muse Isabella Blow, who committed suicide in 2007 after failing several earlier attempts, are slated for release next year. Detmar Blow, her widower, is co-writing one with Tom Sykes, brother of the mostly intolerable Vogue scribe Plum. Fashion writer Lauren Goldstein Crowe is working on another. [NYObs]
• Frederic Bourke, the co-founder of Dooney & Bourke, remains the company chairman even after his conviction on conspiracy charges for his role in an investment group that bribed Azerbaijani officials with hundreds of millions of dollars. The investment group was seeking preferential consideration for its bid for the Azeri state-owned oil company, and although he beat money-laundering charges, Bourke now faces up to 10 years in prison and a $500,000 fine. "This is indeed an unfortunate situation," said Dooney & Bourke's lawyer, Thomas McAndrew. "It's tragic for Mr. Bourke. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family." [WWD]
• Everyone loves falling models. You've probably seen most of these — but there is one nasty spill from a Gharani Strok show we hadn't witnessed before. [Modelinia]
• The Project Runway model spin-off show that the producers have been threatening for ages now is a reality. Called Models of the Runway, the hour-long reality show will air after every episode of Project Runway's sixth season. [SassyBella]
• Amber Rose, who's now with Ford's celebrity division, has two Polaroids on Confessions Of A Casting Director. No word yet on the kinds of bookings she's attracting. [COACD]
• Karlie Kloss, on bagging the campaign for Marc Jacobs' fragrance Lola: "I didn't believe it, to be honest. I was shocked. I was like, 'No, you're kidding me. Me? Marc Jacobs knows my name?!' I was convinced that they accidentally drew my name out of hat or something." [W]
• Doutzen Kroes likes to read the New York Times. And Dutch papers: "I always try to keep up with what's going on in my own country too," said the model. "You have to!" [StyleFile]
• Times Critical Shopper Cintra Wilson, on Marni: "What I like best about Marni is that it gives a fashionable girl a creative direction if men finally dismay her past the point of no return. It provides a high-fashion shelter for those too badly scorched and shell-shocked by the battle of the sexes to return to the field. When you've really had it up to your push-up bra with the unfair sex, there may come a day when you stop waxing your legs and start hand-painting your car, brewing your own tattoo inks and converting your dining room into an abandoned-pet shelter — and Marni will be there for you." [NYTimes]
• Guiseppe Zanotti might be entering the mens footwear market. [WWD]
• Of course Alberta Ferretti has a sickeningly beautiful Italian country home. [FWD]
• Bebe is phasing out all Bebe Sport merchandise and stores. The replacement brand, targeting "value-oriented consumer spending," will be called PH8. [WWD]
• UK retail behemoth Asda's George line is offering deals on school uniforms that start at just £4.50. (Competitor Tesco's uniforms start at £3.75.) Asda's come with a money back guarantee against holes, rips, or untreatable stains — that occur within the first 100 days of purchase. Fast fashion really is a race to the bottom. [ToL]
• Supposedly, Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman's children's clothing line for Ed Hardy is back on. Christian Audigier, who earlier denied the project, told E! that it "should be" happening. [E!]
• Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez of Proenza Schouler even took on the task of finding advertisers when they agreed to curate an issue of the Belgian title A Magazine. "They don't really have a staff when they hand you over the magazine," said Hernandez, "They're just like, ‘Here you go, now do it!'" At the launch party, cover star Chloë Sevigny turned up in a black leather Proenza Schouler jumpsuit. "I feel a bit like a super-slut superhero," she said. [NYObs]
• Simon Doonan: "I think the future of fashion lies in the hands of the consumer. All the press, art direction, hype and red-carpet celebs do not amount to anything at the end of the day if the customer is not on board. When Anna Wintour announced "Fashion's Night Out," I let out a loud cheer. Ms. Wintour is smart enough to understand it's time to swing the spotlight away from the front-row celebs and back into the fitting room. The customer is king…or queen." In the same interview, the Barney's creative director called not having a C.E.O. " a colossal drag." [WWD]
• An auction for bankrupt company Eddie Bauer's assets is taking place this Thursday, and VF Corp has announced its intention to bid. VF owns outdoorsy brands like The North Face, Eastpak, JanSport, and Eagle Creek. The successful bidder is expected to keep the 89-year-old retailer Eddie Bauer in operation. [WWD]
• Levi's lost money during its second quarter because of 3% drop in sales — but it still intends to keep opening new stores. [WSJ]
• In fact, everyone's opening boutiques like it's going out of style. Miu Miu just cut the ribbons on its first footholds in China and Turkey. [WWD]
• And Versace just opened its largest Middle Eastern store, a 6,480-sq. ft. shop in a Dubai mall. [WWD]
• Adjusted for exchange rate fluctuation, Burberry revenues sank 4% on last year during the second quarter. The company has already cut about 15% of its workforce. [Reuters]
• H&M;s June same-store sales fell a larger-than-expected 5%. [WWD]
• Wholesale prices on U.S.-made apparel fell 0.2% from May to June, but this June's prices were still 1.3% higher on last year's. [WWD]

• Guess who is going to have to face her abuser and testify? Rihanna:

Prosecutors have subpoenaed the singer to appear in court in Chris Brown's assault case on June 22, and she is now legally required to answer questions about what happened. [People]

• Kanye West and Amber Rose may have broken up, but they are certainly still spending a lot of time together. Reunited and it feels so good? [Page Six]
• OMG: Judge Judy has beat Oprah as the highest rated show in daytime! It must have been the Comic Confrontations that pushed JJ over the edge. [Perez]
• After six months of bliss, Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have split. [ET]
• This report claims that Paris dumped Doug, who later showed up at her house "distraught." [Perez]
• Paris Hilton's rep says they remain friends and please respect their privacy blah blah blah. We'll always have Cannes! [People]
• Britney Spears is gonna get $11,500 from ex-boyfriend Adnan Ghalib — to cover legal fees incurred by getting a restraining order against the photographer. [Radar Online]
• Meanwhile, Britney and K-Fed have reached a new custody agreement and Brit gets the kids more than 50% of the time while she is on tour. Progress! [TMZ]
• Click here for super-cute banter between Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock. Like this exchange on how fame changes you:
  Reynolds: Fame only amplifies a certain disposition.
  Bullock: I agree. Unless you're a child in the industry and that's all you know. That's a sad, sad thing.
  Reynolds: There's nothing worse than hearing a 6-year-old demand Voss water. I've seen it. [People]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Madonna will meet Jesus' family. And no, they are not named Mary and Joseph. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of all things holy, Madonna will hold two shows in Israel — September 1 and 2. [UPI]
• Katie Holmes has been attending dance studios in Hollywood lately. Why? She wants to make a special appearance on So You Think You Can Dance? [Perez]
• Hugh Hefner: "really happy" to learn that Kendra is pregnant. [People]
• Carrie Prejean claims that the Miss California USA people wanted her to do Playboy, but she wouldn't. They also wanted her to be on I'm A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Contrary to the reports in all the weekly tabs, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz deny that their marriage is on the rocks. [Mirror]
• "Secrets" about the cast of Twilight include the fact that Kristen Stewart can play guitar, Robert Pattinson and Kristen have chemistry on screen and off, and Rob and Kristen both play guitar and sing. [People]
• Whoa, Joy Behar is getting her own show on HLN (formerly Headline News). It will aire at 9 p.m. and start in September, as a "topical and fun" talk show: "It's not going to be dry, I hope, because I'm crazy," Joy says. [NY Times]
• BMW: The exclusive sponsor of the season three premiere of Mad Men, which will be aired with limited commercial interruption. Exciting! Not that we can afford Beemers! But we can look at a picture of a cute one, and think about Don Draper. [Brandweek]
• Lost rumors: Someone who could be lying says Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) returns for 4 episodes, Clarie (Emily De Ravin [sic]) for full-season, Shannon (Maggie Grace) for 6 episodes. [Yahoo News Via E!]
• Matthew Fox on the Lost ending: "I think it is going to be very satisfying and cathartic and redemptive and beautiful. I've talked to [creator] Damon [Lindelof] pretty extensively and every time I talk to him it's sort of surprising how moving it is just to talk about it." [E!]
• Patricia Clarkson's flight from LAX to JFK got canceled and she promptly burst into tears. [Page Six]
• Oof: Hugh Grant kicked a paparazzo in the groin outside of restaurant in NYC Tuesday. [Gatecrasher via TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx says that the first time he did his stand up act at the Apollo, as soon as the audience heard he was from L.A., they started booing. Foxx considers this his favorite memory of the theater, though, so, good for him. [AP]
• Oh lord. Jeremy Piven's mercury poisoning saga lives on: Producers from Speed-The-Plow will be in arbitration this week. [Gothamist]
• Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson met through a real estate agent. Now? A-Rod is smitten: "He is so into her and doesn't even mind when his friends tease him about her." [Gatecrasher]
• Sophie Dahl is 5'11" and her fiancé Jamie Cullum is 5'4" and she says: "We happen to be two people who met, fell madly in love and will probably produce fairly average sized children, hopefully with his more elegant feet, not mine." And! "I find it weird [that people focus on our height difference] but when you're really happy you don't give a shit." [Daily Mail]
• Diane Lane will star in Secretariat, the Disney flick about the relationship between the 1973 Triple Crown-winning racehorse and his owner, Penny Chenery. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which up-and-coming film star was smoking an alien substance out in the open at a recent NYC party?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: What do you like most about your character? A: "There's nothing cool about her. It's fun to play someone who's well-intentioned but doesn't know the game. I enjoy competent but misguided characters. She's an open-faced sandwich, and because of that, she doesn't have anything savvy about her." — Amy Poehler, on Parks and Recreation. [Variety]
• "I am not one who has ever taken well to fame and what that attracts. It's a drag. I just wanted to be a songwriter and a singer. I did not bargain for all the rest of it." — Van Morrison says he would have abandoned his music career 40 years ago if one of his early albums had made him a superstar. [Reuters]
• "Wesley Snipes is a wonderful actor. Before the karate movies and stuff, when Wesley first got into the movies, he did drama and comedy. He's got all the talent. He does everything but he turned into the action dude. But James Brown isn't just singing and splits, you've got to chase the car and the crack heads. You've got to do the stunts. I'm too old to do the splits. They should make that movie with Wesley Snipes tomorrow." — Eddie Murphy may have played James Brown on SNL but wouldn't do it in a biopic. [Daily Express]
• "Being a 48-year-old rebel is not cool… I wouldn't describe myself as a shy person. I'm an introvert. I play extroverts on the screen, but I'm an introvert." — Eddie Murphy. [Mirror]
  
• "If I could interview Dolly every week, I would." — Morley Safer, 77, has no plans to retire from 60 Minutes and hearts Dolly Parton. And! He is not into bloggers: "I would trust a citizen journalist as much as I would trust a citizen surgeon." [Page Six]
• "I invented something that we tested out on-camera on Scientific American Frontiers. It was a device I had figured out to eliminate red-eye, if you attached it to any camera. So we made it, and it worked. I was really excited. It's the first time one of my inventions was tested and worked! I gave it to posterity, though." — Alan Alda, who loves science and has been the host of PBS series Scientific American Frontiers for the last decade. [NY Mag]
• "I talk to Lorne [Michaels] a lot, and he knows where my heart is. And he knows he's got a real hold on me. And he knows my weakness. I always tell him, 'I'm an addict. I'm an SNL addict.' And I will use again. Oh, I will." — Maya Rudolph, on returning to SNL for guest spots after leaving the show in 2007. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The Obama administration came out and said the No. 1 chemical problem in the world is mercury…there will be a lot of documentaries coming out showing what happens when you have too much mercury in your system." — Jeremy Piven. [Page Six]
• "Poor Rob is already a Beatle. His whole life is documented. If he picks his nose, it's all over the Internet. He's just done for. I think he's kinda freakin' out, like, ‘What the fuck is going on?'" — Robert Pattinson's New Moon costar Ashley Greene. [MSNBC]
• "I'm always really worried about ruining their lives, especially with people that aren't famous. it's such a massive change. I'm kind of a paranoid wreck." — Robert Pattinson, on dating. [MSNBC]
• "It's very tempting to have a nanny and live in a gated community and have a chef – I'd love to have a few dinners cooked for me. But I don't want that for my children." — Kate Winslet doesn't need help, okay?!?! [Telegraph]
• "I love seeing my name on a woman's butt. Ladies, if you want to impress me when you meet me, I need to see my name on your right cheek. Girls have had tattoos of my face. One girl went and got her ass tattooed on her right arm… It's important to keep things tasteful." — Tyrese, whom I have interviewed and found to be as charming as this quote. [Page Six]

• Susan Boyle was "comforted" by psychiatrists before the Britian's Got Talent finale. Then she lost. [Daily Mail]
• Paramedics and police were called to help a "spaced-out" Susan Boyle through a hotel lobby early Sunday. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Now? Susan Boyle is in a mental hospital:

She had an "emotional breakdown." Sources say she is suffering from exhaustion: "She was very tired and hasn't been sleeping." Can I just say that I know someone who was on America's Got Talent and for 99% of the time that you're involved, the producers fuck with your head? They tell you you're amazing, and to "do what you do best," and if the judges don't like it, you're supposed to tell them off. There's no doubt that being on the show is a mindfuck. [The Sun, BBC News]

• Judge Piers Morgan says of Susan Boyle: I spoke to her yesterday for about half an hour and she's fine. She's gone in for some rest. She needs to get away from everyone – get away from the show, from the media, the public, and just have a bit of down time to herself." [People]
• "Susan Boyle set for £6million fortune with hit album and blitz on America." [Mirror]
• Bruno (aka Sacha Baron Cohen) — wearing angel wings and a butt-exposing jockstrap — flew in to the MTV Movie Awards over the audience, on a wire — but a "mishap" cause him to get stuck and lowered over the crowd, with his ass right in Eminem's face. (Video here.) Eminem was pissed and stormed out — but was he in on the joke? [AP, People]
• Eminem reportedly said, "Get this motherfucker off me." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Hudson and Madonna were both at Veuve Clicquot's Manhattan Polo Classic on Governors Island Saturday afternoon, and there was no clawing scratching catfight now that Kate is dating A-Rod, because her Madgesty doesn't give a shit. [Gatecrasher]
• If you missed the angsty, muscular, fuzzy, werewolfy New Moon trailer, see it here. [NY Daily News]
• Are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt regretting their decision to join the cast of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here? Apparently the couple threatened to quit the show and Heidi bitched, "I wish they got some real celebrities like K-Fed." [RyanSeacrest.com]
• Here are some "leaked" pictures (possibly from a cellphone) of Rihanna and Chris Brown kissing and cuddling, from happier days. [The Sun]
• "Chris Brown Predicts Next Album Will Be His Biggest." [People]
• Although she never confirmed that she is pregnant, Jennifer Hudson had a baby shower in Chicago. [UPI, Chicago Tribune]
• If you ever wanted to lick Daniel Craig's abs, here is your chance: An ice cream company created a purple "licence to chill" popsicle crafted to look like 007 in Casino Royale. As you'll see in the picture, things get real weird below the waist… dude's hands and hips are fused together. [Telegraph]
• Thank Zeus: The rumor that TLC will send the kids to a Swiss boarding school and just have a show called Jon & Kate Unleashed is totally false. [TMZ]
• This weekend, Jon Gosselin was in New York, shopping; Kate Gosselin and the kids (and the bodyguard) were in Bald Head Island, N.C. Separate lives. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The eldest daughter of Billy Bob Thornton has been charged with child neglect; a one-year-old she was babysitting died in October. She and Billy Bob are estranged, but he calls the situation "an unimaginable tragedy." [TMZ]
• Seen having an intimate dinner: Drew Barrymore and Adrien Grenier. Hmm, his eco-mindedness and her flower-child persona could be perfect together! [Perez]
• Stephanie Pratt told Sandra Bullock she was her grandfather's favorite actress. Unsult! Stephanie also said: "Oh, he's dead now, but the two films of yours he used to watch over and over were Miss Congeniality and Pretty Woman." Sandy replied: "Well, if I were actually in 'Pretty Woman' I'd be very flattered." [LA Times]
• Victoria Beckham is freaked out by the earthquakes in L.A. — she and her family are having lessons in a tremor simulator, to learn what to do. Scream and head for a doorframe? [Daily Mail]
• That oh-so-lovely painting of Madonna and Guy Ritchie by artist Peter Howson failed to sell at auction yesterday. Wonder why? [Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse may have canceled her UK comeback gig, but she is still working on her third album; and this is a picture of Amy strolling the beach and playing guitar, which proves that somehow. [Daily Mail]
• Simon Cowell has spent all week with his "glamorous" ex-girlfriend, Jackie St. Claire. That is a steamy romance novel name, you gotta admit. [Daily Mail]
• At next week's Venice Biennale, Yoko Ono, called here "the world's most famous rock widow" will receive the Golden Lion award for a lifetime's achievement in the visual arts. [Financial Times]
• Donald Trump has changed Miss California USA Carrie Prejean's contract, throwing out the clauses which forbid her from making unauthorized appearances and penning a tell-all book. Her lawyer, who helped work the deal, is also the lawyer for NOM. Naturally. [Perez]
• Some 500 actors, including George Clooney and Tom Hanks, urged members of SAG — the largest U.S. actors union — to vote "yes" on a new contract with Hollywood's major studios on Friday. [Reuters]
• Paul McCartney will be the first musician to perform at Citi Field, the new home of the New York Mets, on July 17. [UPI]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones was paid £1.55m in salary and expenses to appear in a shampoo commercial which will be broadcast in China and Japan; that comes to about at £3,691 for every second she appears on screen. Her hair is super shiny, I must say. [Times of London]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has agreed to give estranged husband Peter Andre a "quickie" divorce. [Daily Mail]
• Will Princess Eugenie join a British reality show based on The Hills? [Daily Mail]
• John Travolta is "struggling" five months after the death of his son, and can't promote his new film, The Taking of Pelham 123. Costar Denzel Washington says: "One moment he's OK and the next he's in tears." [CNN]
• Halle Berry is in talks to star in The Surrogate, a film about a a couple desperate to have a child — and then find out the surrogate they hired to carry their baby is insane. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Lisa Ling has written a statement, pleading for the release of her sister, Laura Ling, as well as journalist Euna Lee, who were arrested in North Korea. It reads, in part: "It has been nearly three months since their arrest… We have been holding our breath… Laura and Euna are journalists who were simply doing their job. They have been charged with 'illegal entry,' and 'hostility to the Korean nation.' We aren't certain of the details of what happened on March 17, but we can say with absolute certainty that when the girls left U.S. soil, they never intended to set foot onto North Korean territory. If at any point a transgression occurred, we sincerely apologize on their behalf." [People]
• Did you know that Spike TV has "Guys Choice" Awards? Well, they do. And Mickey Rourke was named Guy Of The Year on Saturday. Clint Eastwood was given a Brass Balls award. [UPI]
• Constantine Maroulis, who got a Tony nomination for his role in the Broadway show Rock Of Ages, says, "Oh, I'll never win. I'm pretty sure it will go to the guys from Billy Elliot." He also says he would love to do Shakespeare: "I'd cut off my hair tomorrow." [NY Times]
• Haha: Harry Connick Jr. got his tarot cards read by a fortune teller and asked if he "could double down" if the news was good. [Page Six]
• Here's a profile on Tom Barrack, a financier who made billions buying and selling distressed properties — his latest investment is Michael Jackson. [LA Times]
• Lori Petty, aka Tank Girl: Arrested! The charges are felony DUI and allegedly hitting a skateboarder with her car… [TMZ]
• Tonight's the night! Conan O'Brien hosts The Tonight Show. "It's a venerated, beloved NBC franchise," O'Brien says. "That doesn't mean I can't do silly things in that space, but the space itself should be beautiful." [UPI]
• Andy Richter is excited to be back on TV with Conan O'Brien: "I'm not gonna lie to you. A steady paycheck is a very rare thing in show business generally. And specifically right now a very rare thing. That in itself is the sublime revelation. To get that stress lifted, man, life is really nice." [LA Times]
• Sophie Dahl has a book about food and says: "I'm naturally very greedy. I go to bed wondering what to have for breakfast." [Mirror]
• Kylie Minogue and her model man, Andres Velencoso, are about to buy a beachside Villa in Spain. [Daily Express]
• Natasha Richardson left most of her assets to husband Liam Neeson, but also set aside money for her half-sister, a costume designer and and employee in London. [TMZ]
• Scott Weiland's estranged wife, Mary Forsberg, will publish her memoir, Fall To Pieces, in October. As you may know, Weiland was arrested on battery charges while with Forsberg, a former model. Her book is described as a ""visceral, rollercoaster ride inside bipolar disorder, rock 'n' roll, celebrity culture, and the competitive world of modeling from a rock star wife and recovering drug addict." [Daily Express]
• Tom Sizemore will be on the third season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew — but so is his ex-girlfriend, Heidi Fleiss. He was convicted of assaulting her back in 2003. Now they have to share space and airtime. [TMZ]
• Pete Doherty says The Libertines will reunite next year. Just when people have ceased to care! [The Sun]
• "Rock legend Jimi Hendrix was murdered by his manager as part of an insurance scam, a new book by one of his former aides claims." [Daily Mail]
• Words you maybe thought you'd never read: Phil Spector blogging from prison. Just so you know: The authorities took his wig, and he's befriended a cockroach – "I'm naming him Wilson" – and is playing air chess with him. Raise your hand if you think this is fake. [ONTD via Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which sexy rapper was rolling on Ecstasy during a recent VIP event?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Most of the time I think, deep down, I'm three different people. You have to jump from place to place – go along with the situation. It's different, wherever you are. You gotta roll with it." — Prince Harry. [Mirror]
• "If it happened now, Bill would go to jail."— Mandy Smith on the Rolling Stone (Bill Wyman) who seduced her at the age of 13. She married him in1989, when she was 19 and he was 53. [Daily Mail]
• "He's a good influence. He doesn't drink or do drugs or anything like that. And I have a girlfriend so it's not like I hit on girls with him. He's the best, a very sweet professional and incredibly smart." — Jonah Hill on Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "I feel sexier now than I did then: it's what's in my head that's sexier. If I could go back and be in my 25-year-old body with my head, boy, would I be dangerous… I've read books like The Beauty Myth. I guess I see it very differently. I don't use beauty products or dye my hair to please anyone else; I don't do it to capture a man, I do it because it's something I enjoy. I think it's innate, something you're born with. Femininity is an amazing quality and with it comes wanting to dress beautifully – as a little girl, it's in your nature. I watched my daughters do it – you don't teach them." — Andie MacDowell. [Daily Mail]
• "We should stop cutting music programmes in schools. It's vitally important that our kids are exposed to music: give them the opportunity to play instruments. It's still a mystery to me, the whole idea of how you write songs, and I've been doing it all my life." — Sting. [BBC News]
• "I'm not one of those people that can suddenly start running and hire a Pilates trainer, it's just not my thing. Walks helped clear my head. I was weighing myself once a week, just trying not to be obsessive about it. I just wanted to feel better; I wanted to feel healthy… It was never about that Hollywood pressure to lose weight, I laugh at that. It was always just an issue of health. Some people have been calling it a comeback, I actually call it a resurfacing." — Nia Vardalos, who slimmed down after blood sugar issues. [People]
• Q:Do you have any advice for aspiring stars? A: "I do. No. 1, stay clean and sober. Say no to drugs and alcohol, especially if you're under 18. No. 2, make sure you have a credible agent [or adult] with you at all times when you go into photography studios. No. 3, when you start out shooting your portfolio, don't let photographers rip you off or steal your money. You only need 10 good pictures. No. 4, make sure your agent is credible." — Janice Dickinson, who has a soon-to-be-released pop song called "Crazy." [Star Tribune]
• "People sometimes think I'm on drugs when I'm not. It's because I am actively in my creative headspace. I operate in a different way to other artists." — Lady GaGa, who is newly single. [News Of The World]
• "They think this is a game show. It isn't. It's arduous. It's fighting hunger. Since I haven't eaten in 32 years, it won't affect me. After I have sex with Sanjaya, he'll come out of the closet and run out of the jungle." — Janice Dickinson, on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. [Page Six]

• Freida Pinto and Evangeline Lilly are new faces of L'Oreal. To mark the occasion, Lilly said she's proud "to represent a brand whose ambition is to...contribute to the fulfilment [sic] and well-being of everyone." [PRNewswire]

• After long construction delays, cash-strapped Roberto Cavalli has opened his $30 million designer night club in Dubai. The floors are black quartz, and Swarovski crystals dangle from the ceilings, for that pre-recession look. [WWD]
• Designer Hussein Chalayan, for his part, sees the future, and it looks like you wearing his ugly sneakers for Puma. [Dazed Digital]
• The pop star Estelle, who recently designed a handbag, now wants a shoe line. [WWD]
• Giles Deacon is expanding his business. A new manufacturing deal with Italy's Castor Srl will allow his label to reach more than 120 stores worldwide, compared with his current 38, and to do pre-season collections. [Elle UK]
• Pharrell Williams, and Takashi Murakami. Making art, together. [WWD]
• Sophie Dahl, who recently published her first cookbook, is rumored to be in talks to present a food show for the BBC. [Metro UK]
• The Elle Decor of cokey hipster creatives, The Selby, shot Julia Restoin-Roitfeld's New York apartment. Look only if you can stomach a designer shoe collection with a total sticker price in the tens of thousands before noon. [The Selby]
• Christian Siriano, who has made Heidi Klum some clothes to wear during her fourth pregnancy, demonstrates the way not to talk about a high-profile client after the fact: "I think she's trying to cover it a little this time. She's getting older and wants to be more sophisticated, not casual. She's trying to keep it a little quiet." Klum's trainer, David Kirsch, shows the proper deference and positivity: "Why should she do anything differently? She had a beautiful body all throughout her pregnancies. She's very disciplined and dialed in to being healthy." [People]
• Sessilee Lopez credits last July's all-black issue of Italian Vogue, which featured her on one of its four covers, with "resurrecting" her career. [The Cut]
• Topshop is on the hunt for more retail locations in Manhattan. [NY Observer]
• Competitor H&M is making its latest designer collaboration, with Brit Matthew Williamson, available in more of its stores than ever before. The Swedish chain has 1,700 stores worldwide, and Williamson's summer collection will be stocked in 1,600 of them when it launches this Thursday — compared with the 200 stores that previous collaborations with designers like Karl Lagerfeld and Stella McCartney had reached. [WSJ]
• The H&M line is also Williamson's first foray into men's wear — something he might continue under his own label, if the mass-market collection goes over well. [WWD]
• Rick Ross wore a pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses on the May cover of XXL magazine — and promptly received a letter from the company informing him they were counterfeit. "Louis Vuitton did not grant permission to Mr. Ross or to whoever did make the sunglasses to use our trademarks," wrote a miffed company spokesperson. Ross says the glasses are real, but that he had an L.A. jeweler add 14 karat gold accents to them. Which befits a style named "The Millionaire." [WWD]
• Macy's, ever neighborly, expands its inventory whenever a competitor within its ambit fails, in order to lure the bankrupt chain's former customers. [WSJ]
• Nordstrom is being sued by a group of former employees who allege that the company stole their sales commissions. When an item is returned by a Nordstrom customer, the commission originally paid the salesperson is deducted from that worker's salary — but thanks to Nordstrom's lenient return policy, in practice this policy means that items bought, and commission accordingly paid, months earlier can suddenly be rescinded. Nordstrom settled a racial harassment lawsuit with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for $292,500 last month. [Fashionista]
• eBay has won the lawsuit brought against it by L'Oreal, meaning the auction giant has no legal responsibility for counterfeit products sold through its site. [WWD]
• Liz Claiborne reported a loss of $91.4 million in the first quarter of this year. This was much steeper than analysts had expected, and the company's share price fell. [Reuters]
• If you want to fly like Superman, this leotard worn by Christopher Reeve — with reinforced slits for wires — might get you started. [Mirror]

• Confirmed: Madonna will do the Louis Vuitton fall campaign. With Jesus Luz? I imagine LVMH execs did a pro/con weighing the headline value against the risk that Madge would dump her boytoy ere September. [Grazia]

• No pesky swine flu pandemic threat level five business will put the fear into superstylist/downtown savant/Socrates afficionado Pat Field. When asked if she was afraid of the illness, she replied, "No. We're in America and we don't give a shit about anything." [The Cut]
• Frenchie actress and hobbyist 9/11 conspiracy theorist Marion Cotillard, new face of Lady Dior, will, unsurprisingly, wear Dior to the Met ball on Monday. [WWD]
• Fashionologie has an excellent roundup of the Met ball news, from which designers are sitting this year out due to the cost, to who's taking whom as a date. [Fashionologie]
• Michelle Obama's March Vogue cover was a top-selling issue, moving 560,000 copies on the newsstand, which is 1,000 more than 2008's best-seller, the September issue. [WWD]
• Elle MacPherson designed a cashmere sweater for her sister-in-law's line, Banjo & Matilda. It costs $499 Australian. [British Vogue]
• Behnaz Sarafpour went to Saudi Arabia to show her line in a trunk show (organized by a princess and attended by women only, naturally) and the designer reports that it is totally an underrated holiday destination. "I even got to ride a camel for the first time!!! Very Lawrence of Arabia!!!" [WWD]
• The launch party for Matthew Williamson's H&M line doubled as a booze cruise. Only unlike your pre-recession enforced-jollity work do, his had Grace Jones performing. [Style.com]
• And a pants-less Chanel Iman. [The Cut]
• Sophie Dahl: "When you've got big bosoms and a really big bottom it's difficult to get dressed. You end up looking slightly pornographic in everything. But it's nice to be able to get into jeans and a T-shirt and not have your breasts do the talking." [Daily Express]
• V's take on a swimsuit issue looks like a winner. Six different models on the cover, including a sizzling Naomi Campbell, shot against a yellow background. Campbell marks her 25th year in the industry this year, so naturally, she's hinting about a retirement. That'll never stick. [Daily Mail]
• Francisco Costa is going to be on Martha Stewart's show tomorrow. [WWD]
• Kenneth Cole is going to be a commencement speaker at Northeastern University. Wanna take odds on 30 continuous minutes of puns? [FWD]
• A collection of Christian Lacroix's couture theater and opera costumes is being shown in Singapore — the first exhibition of the French designer's work outside France. Patsy would just die to be there. [Dazed Digital]
• Under Armour is recalling 211,000 athletic cups. Because they come from a batch that "can break if hit, posing a serious injury hazard to athletes." [BlackBook]
• An awful lot of Isaac Mizrahi's recently-released first collection for mass-market retailer Liz Claiborne has already been discounted, notes Racked. [Racked ]
• Hugo Boss's net profits shrank by 2% in the first quarter of 2009. [WWD]
• Men's Wearhouse just discovered its own long-existing Prom Rep program — a kind of Tupperware Party of tux rental, with "referrals" and "rewards" for customers willing to transform themselves into vectors of corporate marketing with a target lock on their friends — is perfect for the Twittered, Facebooked, atomized high school world of now. Isn't that nice. [BrandWeek]

• 1. Kate Moss is fat. 2. Kate Moss is in. 3. Fat is in. Q.E.D. [Times of London]
• Salma Hayek wore Balenciaga for her second wedding to Francois-Henri Pinault, head of PPR. [UK Elle]

• Robin Givhan has a report on the lobbying trip made last week by Maria Cornejo, Jason Wu, and Narciso Rodriguez. The designers went to Washington, D.C., to argue for a law that would offer stricter protections against design piracy. "There's a lot of misconception thanks to movies like Sex and the City or The Devil Wears Prada," said Cornejo. "People think designers spend all this time swanning around. We don't do much swanning." Cornejo, who has only twelve employees, can't compete directly with larger businesses on price. "The only way we can compete is with our ideas. That's like my bank. So when someone steals my idea, it's like they've put their hand in my bank. They're taking ideas out of my head." [WaPo]
• Diane von Furstenberg hit the headlines late last week after a Canadian blog revealed striking similarities — down to the placement of darts and the distinctive raw edged collar — between a jacket by von Furstenberg's company, and an earlier piece made by the Montreal label Mercy. Von Furstenberg, who has championed the expansion of copyright protection and attacked copy-catting in the past, is blaming the apparent knock-off on a member of her design team who is no longer with the company. "When I saw it on the Internet, I thought, The print is completely different. But then I saw something about the style with the bow, so I am not sure," said von Furstenberg. "I am finding out the information, and I have asked my attorney to contact [Mercy's designers] and say that we are investigating. I am mortified that something like that could happen here. I will do what is necessary to do, and if indeed there was an infringement, I will compensate and will use this example to make sure this doesn't happen again — not just for me, but for everybody." [WWD]
• Meanwhile, in one of Forever 21's several ongoing court cases on knock-off allegations, the company founders were deposed for two whole days earlier this month. Anthropologie is suing the fast fashion chain for allegedly copying nine of its garments. [WWD]
• That blonde lady with the nose has a new perfume. Wonder if they'll box them in a collection? 'The Nine Smells Of Paris Hilton.' [NYDN]
• Michelle Obama wears Rodarte. This makes me insanely happy, for some reason. [WWD]
• Lily Cole, the doll-faced red haired model, spoke at a student-organized ethical fashion show at Cambridge University, where she studies. [Daily Mail]
• Leggings: The Trend That Will Not Die. [WWD]
• Serena Williams, tennis star/fashion designer, has more than 300 pairs of shoes, but can't find a pair of jeans to fit. [NY Times]
• And if you think those two facts aren't connected, you're dreaming. Shoes are easy to love, and their sizing doesn't connote judgment. I can admit to refuging in a new pair of shoes after a mortifying defeat in some other wardrobe arena. Maybe that's why shoe stocks are winners. Of course, in spending money on shoes, I am left with less to put in shoes. Now that's an economic catch-22. [WWD]
• Ever wonder idly about Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone's relationships? No? Well, regardless, it turns out that Martone was the one who proposed, after having picked out matching rings at Jacobs' favorite jeweler in Paris. Now that the designer has met his fiancé's extended family in Brazil, it's full steam ahead to the wedding. Martone likes the thought of St Bart's in December. Don't we all! [The Cut]
• Kerry Washington already has her mind on gifts. "I'm not saying what I'm really going to get them — then it would ruin the surprise! If I could get him anything in the world, it would be a private jet so they could jet around all around the world to have fittings in the world with all the girls, stress-free!" [FWD]
• Beyoncé gets dressed with the aid of Style.com. [Style.com]
• Tim Gunn is set to receive an honorary doctorate from his alma mater, the Corcoran College of Art and Design, when he speaks at its commencement ceremony on May 23rd. [Blogging Project Runway]
• Six people were arrested when police raided a warehouse full of $20 million worth of counterfeit goods in Brooklyn. [WWD]
• Filene's Basement, the much-loved discount department store, was acquired on April 21 by a company that specializes in liquidations, which could mean the 25-store chain will close. If Filene's does meet that fate, it could imperil former sister company Discount Shoe Warehouse, which lent Filene's millions of dollars. [WWD]
• Sophie Dahl: "To everything there is a season; from 17 to 21 mine was the season of chocolate cake. I didn't know how to eat within the boundaries of reason; instead I learned loudly through trial and error...I really don't believe in cutting out food groups or subscribing to militant, forbidding diets. What I do believe in is moderation and balance, because both have served me well. The recipes in my book are all things I cook and eat. There are recipes for rainy, insatiable chocolate days and lighter things for the gossamer, less hungry summer evenings." Now that's a cookbook I would buy! [Daily Mail]

[LAX, October 13. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• TIME magazine invited Donatella Versace to the annual White House Correspondents dinner, and she thought the invitations said white lines so she RSVPed. No actually she thought they said "Winehouse" Correspondents dinner. [NY Mag]
  
• And speaking of cocaine! George W. Bush's cousin Lauren may be a handbag designing ex-model but that doesn't mean she's completely reprehensible. [NY Mag]
  
• Sophie Dahl: the grandspawn of Roald Dahl who used to be an on-the-thick-side-for-a-model model until she stopped doing drugs and modeling and got skinny, has written a novel called Playing With The Grown-Ups. It's excerpted in...of all places...USA Today. Bored? Here. It features a dog named Ibsen, and would obviously be a lot better if he was the narrator. [USA Today]
  
• Jordin Sparks: the daughter of an Avon lady, she herself became an Avon lady a mere five years ago, at the tender age of fourteen, and then she became an American Idol, and as if this story could get any more inspiring — wait, it can! — she was yesterday named Avon's Chief Inspirational Officer. [WWD]

• H&M has been named Europe's "most valuable brand" by a brand consulting firm called Interbrand, which is especially interesting considering H&M is not really a "brand," but leave it to the brand consultants to brand it that way. [FT]
• Some legal battle brewing between Juicy Couture and website JuicyCampus. If there was a trademark more unworthy of infringement it is probably Juicy. [Radar]
• Gucci and Louis Vuitton are in the designer gas mask business now. Do kids still make time capsules? Because those sort of belong in there, along with a knockoff Louis Vuitton SARS mask and a MacBook permanently frozen on an image of Britney Spears' period panties. [Complex]
• Estee Lauder is silently bleeding to death and you all are too busy trying on cheek stain at Sephora to care. [Crains]

One way to make a taller woman/shorter man pairing socially acceptable is "if the woman is tall and the man is incredibly beefy, so that their weight differential is stacked conventionally in his favor," writes Williams. "Even though Nicole Kidman is substantially taller than Tom Cruise, she is so waif-like that society as a whole wasn't that bothered by their marriage." The celebrity couple who prompted Williams' essay is that of model Sophie Dahl and Brit jazz pianist Jaime Cullum (above). Sophie is seven inches taller and magazines in the UK have written that "she's going to get backache stooping down for a kiss." No one ever says that kind of crap about Tony Parker or Kobe Bryant or any tall dude with a smaller woman. We were trying to think of some more well-known examples of women who "tower" over their guys, but only came up with, uh, Snow White and her seven height-challenged boyfriends. Anyone else, guys?

What's Wrong With Tall Women Dating Short Men? [Guardian]
Sophie Dahl Dating Jamie Cullum [Marie Claire UK]

• 21 years ago today coke was more expensive, Iran and Iraq were at war, and two Long Islanders named Michael & Dina gave birth to a child named Lindsay. Please grant Lindsay the serenity to accept that her parents will be a convincing excuse for her problems for another decade, the courage to leave her $10,000/day rehab and resume antagonizing Scarlett Johansson, and the wisdom to understand the difference between coke-addled binge drinking and coke-addled binge drinking that leads to less-endearing variations on Zach Braff. [iVillage]
  
• Allegra Versace, too, is 21, going on 12. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Mark Wahlberg does not seem to have a problem picking up the ladies. [Page Six]

• Did model Sophie Dahl's lingering love for Mick Jagger sabotage her relationship with professional layabout Dan Baker Jr.? [Page Six]
• Fleetwood Mac did some cocaine. [Page Six]
• First twin Barbara Bush stays out late! [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson's new movie is not going to be as good as, um, Employee of the Month. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton smoked pot in front of a New York Daily News reporter. And so that thing she told Larry King about not doing drugs was a lie, and a kind of shameless one at that. [Gatecrasher]
• Diana Ross: Not a very considerate or nurturing boss. [Rush & Molloy]