Jezebel: something stinks

Obsessing About The New "It" Body Part Is The Pits

Dodai — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:00:00 EDT

In a story appearing in a recent issue of New York magazine, Corrie Pikul, a self-professed "rampant perspirer," tested some sweat-prevention solutions. Secret Clinical Strength anti-persperant? "I still developed big splotches at the gym," she writes. She also tried Drionic Iontophoresis kit, which sens a mild electrical current through the skin (no noticeable improvement); sage leaves (relaxing, but ineffective); anti-cholinergic meds (100% dry from head to toe!) and Botox ("It felt like I was being attacked by bees, but for the next three weeks…my underarms only dampened on my morning jog"). Yeah, it's summer, and the armpit stories are afoot. (Aarm?) Anyway, it's one thing to try and combat perspiration. It's quite another to search for the perfect pit. Dodie Kazanjian penned a piece for August's Vogue titled "Up In Arms," and the subhead says it all: "With all the body parts we've grown to obsess over as we age, should armpits, too, be on the list?" In a word, Vogue says: Yes.

Ms. Kazanjian's two-page story of solid text about armpits begins thusly:

I first noticed it one hot day in August 1999 on my way to a luncheon party on Long Island. As I studied a map in the car, my eye caught an unsightly bulge of skin peeping out from under my sleeveless blouse, where my left arm joined my chest. That's sort of unattractive, I thought. Over the years, I've obsessed about one part of my body after another — my fat thighs, my nasolabial folds, my elbows — but I guess I wasn't ready for the armpit… I kept noticing the errant bulges, though, and watching them morph, as I passed 50, into flaps of loose skin."

And so, because Ms. Kazanjian is obsessed with her pits, she tries to convince us that other people are, too. She visits famous dermatologist Dr. Patricia Wexler, who indulges her. "Women come to me about this problem all the time," Dr. Wexler says. "They're not called armpits, they're called gludgeons, those fatty things that hang over a strapless gown." Wexler used Thermage (radio-frequency therapy) on her own gludgeons, and recommends it for Kazanjian. Ever the consummate reporter, Kazanjian gets a second opinion from Dr. Haideh Hirmand, who has her head screwed on right. "When you first called me about this," Dr. Hirmand says, "I thought, are you serious?" Hirman goes on to say Kazanjian could have plastic surgery on her folds, but: "Honestly? It's not worth it."

Determined to get someone to share her armpit horror, Kazanjian meets with designer Vera Wang at her Park Avenue duplex, where she gets the mother of all pull quotes:

"Yeah," Vera Wang agrees. "we all know exactly what you're talking about. The armpit is nasty, nasty. Even young girls can have this problem."

No, really. This was an actual pull quote. Look:

Thanks, Vogue. You took a perfectly natural occurrence — skin that connects arms to bodies — and turned it into something "nasty" that even youngsters should worry about. Ladies, we'd better forget our health, our weight, our noses, our thighs, our cleavage and whatever else we think we're supposed to be worried about: Armpit hate is the new hot shit.

Drip Stop [NY Mag]

How Do You Describe Something You Can't See, Feel, or Hear?

Dodai — Thu, 01 May 2008 16:00:00 EDT

So there's a story by Jim Lewis on Slate about perfume. Not just about perfume, though — about writing about perfume. The story is linked to a book called Perfumes: The Guide, by husband and wife team Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez. I used to write about music, which I always thought was really tough; somehow the vocabulary ("upbeat, sing-along, power-pop" or "the songs meandered, looped, tinkled out or built to a dramatic orchestral crescendo") always seemed forced and limited. But describing a scent seems even more challenging. Lewis points out that the words perfumers use: amber, citrus, floral — are pretty vague. But! Luca Turin describes Fracas thusly: "A friend once explained to me how Ferrari achieves that gorgeous red: first paint the car silver, then six coats of red, then a coat of transparent pink varnish..." Can you smell it? Glossy, bright and sharp.

That review is poetic, but the one for Lalique's Le Perfum is more direct: ("Vile, cheap, obnoxiously chemical... I hope to live long enough to see this sort of faceless dreck wiped off the face of the earth. Nice bottle.") Some of the reviews get straight to the point ("The bathrooms in hell smell like this.") and others invoke vivid imagery ("a shrill little floral that feels like music heard through someone else's headphones") but one in particular caught Lewis' eye: It's for a perfume called Sacrebleu:

"If you travel at night on Europe's railways, near big stations you can sometimes see lights the size a teacup nestled between the rails, shining the deepest mystical blue-purple light through a filthy Fresnel glass. They appear to be permanently on, suggesting that the message they convey the train driver is an eternal truth. Since childhood I have fancied the notion that it may not be a trivial one like 'Buffers ahead' but something numinous and unrelated to duty, perhaps 'Life is beautiful' or some such. Sacrebleu has the exact feel of those lights, a low hum that may be eclipsed by diurnal clamor but rules supreme when, at 3 a.m., you know you're looking into your true love's eyes even though you can't see them."

Yeah, so the perfume smells good. One can assume. But here's a question: Have you ever purchased a fragrance after reading about it? Can reading about a perfume make you want to buy it? And how would you describe your favorite scent? (Bonus if you don't use the words "clean" or "fresh".) Or do you just judge a perfume by its bottle?

The Sweet Smell of Success [Slate]

Oldies But Goodies

Dodai — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:40:00 EDT

You don't even have to read all the copy in this vintage ad. Key words and phrases jump out at you: "smell nice," "warmth and moisture," "miracle-worker" "dry and fresh and confident." Yeah, in case you didn't figure out already that it's deodorant for your stinky vadge (because wimmins smell "down there") one look at the pink spray can surrounded by pearls ought to clue you in. (Click image to enlarge) [Vintage Ads]

Oldies But Goodies

dodai — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 15:40:00 EST

What has more sexual subtext than a horse? A unicorn! That's why this 1984 ad for Magical Musk is so awesome. And by awesome we mean bad. There's just something off about the critter. Also, Magical Musk is "the fragrance of hidden powers" and there's some sort of mist emanating from the horse's ass. Why not just call it what it is? L'eau De Unicorn Fart. (Click the picture for a full-sized view.) [All-American Ads Of The 80s]

Delicious Scents Make You Drop Cash

dodai — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:30:00 EST

A new study reveals that when your appetite is whetted, you're more likely to impulse buy, reports EurekAlert. Scientists have discovered that a delectable aroma can make you purchase something you can't really afford: Female study participants in a room with a hidden chocolate-chip cookie scented candle were much more likely to make an unplanned purchase of a new sweater — even when told they were on a tight budget — than those randomly assigned to a room with a hidden unscented candle (67% vs. 17%). What is it about the human brain? Do yummy smells put us in such a good mood that we're willing to throw caution to the wind? And, just for a moment, think about what retailers could do with this information: Will Gucci start baking brownies?

Will Wal-Mart start pumping the scent of French-fries into stores? Will all of Las Vegas reek of Bundt cake? Stores really need to do something to lure shoppers in: According to the Wall Street Journal, MasterCard is reporting a surge in online sales, especially in luxury goods. But the next time you're shopping online — from the comfort of your own home — ask yourself: Do I really want that YSL bag, or do I just smell that dinner's almost ready?

Stimulating the appetite can lead to unrelated impulse purchases [EurekAlert!]
Retail Sales Fall in Some Categories But Surge Online, MasterCard Says [WSJ]

Drowning In Perfume? You Might Be Depressed

dodai — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:30:00 EST

Researchers from Tel Aviv University recently discovered a link between depression and the olfactory glands. "Our scientific findings suggest that women who are depressed are also losing their sense of smell, and may overcompensate by using more perfume," explains Professor Yehuda Shoenfeld. The good news? "People who are depressed seem to respond well to aromatherapy. Certain smells seem to help them overcome the effects of the biological factors, suggesting that depression may have a biological cause." Dr. Shoenfeld suggests that a standardized "smell test" cold be developed so that doctors could diagnose depression and other autoimmune diseases. Haven't you always suspected the aroma of fresh-baked brownies was a miracle cure?

Dr. Shoenfeld has studied lupus, arthritis and rheumatism, and found that depression accompanying lupus is not just an emotional reaction to being sick — it appears to have a biological cause. The fact that sense of smell and depression can be linked, however, should come as no surprise to anyone who's ever been depressed. Not only do you cease to feel, taste or smell, you might even stop seeing colors. Some of us know, because, once we were treated for depression, we were absolutely astonished at how the world was suddenly quite pretty and brightly-hued. What is surprising? That there might be a low-tech, ancient way to treat mood disorders. "I think that science is able to show that aromatherapy might not be just for quacks," Dr. Shoenfeld says. "After all, some of these remedies have been used since the time of the Egyptians to treat organic diseases." Bring on the grapefruit-scented candles!

Wearing Too Much Perfume May Indicate Depression [Science Daily]
Why Some Depressed Girls Can't Smell The Roses [EurekAlert]

The Chinese Greenfamily Youth Association ...

dodai — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 18:45:00 EST

The Chinese Greenfamily Youth Association of Environment Protection's new campaign reminds us that pollution is crappy! The association's idea of erecting billboards of bare asses over drainage holes really gets to the bottom of the problem — and who doesn't enjoy being the butt of a joke? Haha, polluters, urine trouble now. (Click the picture to see a full moon!) [AdRants]

Miss Sixty Flagship Store Opens; Stinks

Jennifer — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:00:00 EST

Entering the party for the opening of the Miss Sixty flagship store here in New York last night, photographer Nikola Tamindzic and I were immediately overcome by the awful stench of grease, fried food, and rank meat. Cater waiters did their best to move gracefully through the crowds with trays of pigs in a blanket, grilled cheese, and cubes of deep-fried tofu; I saw one girl spit out one of the tofu squares straight into her cocktail napkin — I guess the food tasted as bad as it smelled. Supposedly, Penn Badgley of Gossip Girl fame was supposed to show, but the only brooding, male celebrity I could find was Adrien Brody. There were also lots of young women wearing opaque tights and ankle boots. Oh, and Paper magazine's Mickey Boardman. Gallery of photos begins, below.

Something Stinks

dodai — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 12:45:00 EST

In a comic-strip style vintage ad, the lovely woman at left is having trouble getting a job. She's persistent, but gets turned down again and again. Finally, her prospective employer breaks it down: Homegirl's got B.O.! After she showers with Lifebuoy, the "health soap," our heroine enjoys the sweet smell of success. Click the picture to get a whiff! [Vintage Ads]

(Click to enlarge)

Celebrity Scents: Cold Hard Cash With A Top Note Of Shamelessness

Dodai — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 19:00:00 EDT

Worldwide sales of the top ten celebrity scent lines totaled $353.6 million last year, reports Forbes. Heading the pack as top-seller was Sean John Unforgivable, the signature scent of Sean "Diddy" Combs — with a $74.9 million in sales. Celebs, writes Lauren Sherman, team up with cosmetics companies who produce the fragrance and then "slap the star's name on the bottle." But Diddy was personally involved with his deal with Estée Lauder, stresses Diana Espino, general manager of Sean John Fragrances. He came up with a concept, tested different scents and eventually began starring in print and online ads. The deals pay off: Celebrities give the scents attention, and stars get a cut of the sales, between 5% and 10%. Jennifer Lopez's last CD and last few movies were flops, but sales of her different fragrances totaled $77 million in 2006. (She has a fifth scent set for release in February.) And even though Britney's personal life is a mess, her perfumes, Curious and Fantasy, made $84 million last year.

What's up with that? Sociologist Henrik Vejlaard says, "It takes a lot of money to make a designer perfume well-known these days. Perfumers benefit financially from names that are very famous already." Yeah, and now we have Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B., Mariah Carey's M, Sarah Jessica Parker's Covet, Britney's Believe, Usher's Usher and Kate Moss' Kate Moss (coming to the US in 2008) to look forward to.

Although some of us totally do not get the celeb-fragrance thing (not even Liz Taylor's White Diamonds, which had $60 million in sales last year), senior beauty analyst Karen Grant says that a scent must have "winning juice" — in other words, it's gotta smell good. But seriously, what is it about celebs that moves perfume? Do people really think that the stars, aside from Paris Hilton, wear their own stuff? Does it strike you as odd that people will buy something because Diddy likes the way it smells? Does anyone else remember, that in the days of Destiny's Child, Beyoncé said she was allergic to perfume? That didn't stop her from releasing her Tommy Hilfiger-licensed scent, True Star! And with so many celebs launching their aromas on the world, what's next? Are we going to live in a world that has Eau De Hills? Eau de Heidi Montag? Please, please say it ain't so.

Best-Selling Celebrity Scents [Forbes]
Related: What Do Gay Men Think Of Vulva, The Ladyparts Perfume?

Do Straight Men Really Wear Scents?

Dodai — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 12:00:04 EDT

Today's 'Thursday Styles' section of the New York Times tries to convince readers that heterosexual, 20-something guys are into fragrance. They say such men belong to "Generation Axe" — in other words, "20-something urban men who... do not think that wearing fragrance is somehow unmanly." The story begins at a New York fragrance boutique called Le Labo, where a scent called Rose 31 — a men's fragrance! — is the bestseller. So! The question is this: Are these 20-something urban men with a penchant for synthetic scents actually straight? Cause honestly, the straight men we know emanate a scent derived not from roses but from armpit sweat and beer. (Not that we have a problem with that!) Take our poll, after the jump.

Younger, And Faster To Pick Up The Scent [NYT]