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Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?

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Liz11685
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Happiness was a terrible film. The bf and I just turned it off about a third of the way through. I would expect more from the people who brought me Dawn Weiner, and changed my life.

If Paris Hilton could play an awkward brunette adolescent with ugly glasses and ugly clothes, she could change someone's life too.
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Liz11685 was starred Liz11685 was unstarred

Yes_Tim_Gunn
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Palindromes filled me with unholy rage. I would have walked out if I wasn't in the middle of a row in a packed advance-screening. I have never seen quite such concentrated hate towards women and children in my life.

Oh, and in my real life, one of my hats is reviewer. Anyway.
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sabbaticalplease
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Happiness was the most fucked up movie I have ever seen. Ugh the end, with the daddy issues, disgusting.
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sabbaticalplease was starred sabbaticalplease was unstarred

pandorasmittens
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Clearly, Paris will open the film as a disgruntled failing artist in a war-torn land. Alone in the world, she masturbates with her size 10 brush each night until a handsome young enemy soldier rushes to her door, asking for asylum. Over dinner,she drugs him with paint thinner and proceeds to sodomize him-using the ejaculate to season her microwaveable mashed potatoes. Turns out the enemy soldier was only after her uncle Samuel's rumored hidden gold, and he attempts to kill her. After defending herself and dispatching of the soldier, she dismembers him with a trowel and hides the body parts in her freezer, using the blood to make a unique dye. The dye entrances the locals and her paintings begin to sell. As it turns out, Samuel comes to claim his hidden gold and tells Paris the soldier was really her long lost brother, who had defected to enemy lines, and she finds she is pregnant with her love/ murder child. She commits suicide. The end.

I feel like I need to take a shower after writing that.
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pandorasmittens was starred pandorasmittens was unstarred

Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
11/12/08

@pandorasmittens: I might actually watch that movie. What does that say about me?
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bananaballs
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Dude, everyone sleeps on Storytelling. I love TS, and think no matter what he does with her, it'll be good.
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bananaballs was starred bananaballs was unstarred

Jessi Ramsey
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Way back when, I bought Welcome to the Dollhouse at a tag sale for 50 cents because in my 13 year old naivete thought it was about dolls.

I was wrong. It made me feel so displaced and I still have not re watched since.
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Jessi Ramsey was starred Jessi Ramsey was unstarred

Never_Nude
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
I will see any movie with Ciaran Hinds in it. Period.

But, I am confused by Paris's breasts in that photo. Halp.

Also, I loved Welcome to the Dollhouse.
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Penny
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Alright, this is a great time to admit that the creepy dude claiming he was going to rape Dawn.....it got me hot.

And yes, I am in therapy.
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Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

prestocaro fears the culling
11/12/08

@Archetype: 3 o'clock, I'm gonna rape you.

I love when they are listening to debbie gibson in the special people's club!
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The HZA.
11/12/08

@Archetype: Oh you weren't the only one who thought that...
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The HZA. was starred The HZA. was unstarred

PorcelinaOfTheVastOcean
11/12/08

@prestocaro: Brandon, would you like me to lay down?

I'M SORRY! I DON'T MEAN TO BE A CUNT!
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prestocaro fears the culling
11/14/08

I remember thinking the dialogue in that movie was so funny... from that line to "Just because he's a faggot doesn't make him an asshole"
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judgingamy
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Yes! Allison Janney movie coming out! This news made my day.
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Penny
11/12/08

@judgingnora still hates the new comment setup: Scoot!
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Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

BlondeGoddess
11/12/08

@judgingnora still hates the new comment setup: Hurrah! I keep waiting for Obama to appoint her as White House Press Secretary. It's my secret dream.
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dripdrop
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
Welcome to the Dollhouse is such a weird movie, but it is in my top 5.

I've watched Happiness twice and that was enough times to last a lifetime.
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dripdrop was starred dripdrop was unstarred

rollergirl76
11/12/08

@dripdrop: I saw that movie once in a Seattle movie theater and everybody laughed; and then I saw it again in a Boston movie theater and a lot of people walked out. Seattle is def a more free-spirited city.
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Etoiles
11/12/08

@dripdrop: Having to watch it more or less frame-by-frame five times in a week for a poorly-taught grad-level film class is enough times to last not only my lifetime, but the lifetimes of all my friends, family, and acquaintances. And probably also any hypothetical future children and grandchildren.
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Etoiles was starred Etoiles was unstarred

rollergirl76
11/12/08

@EtoilePB: I still need emotional and mental bleach to wipe that ejaculation scene away...you know the one *shiver*.
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rollergirl76 was starred rollergirl76 was unstarred

Sukie in the Graveyard
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
ew, Pink Flamingo. Thanks for putting THAT movie back in my head.

Where's a haz-mat shower when you need one?
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Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
11/12/08

@Sukie in the Graveyard: Oh yeah. I had friends talk me into seeing that years ago when I was a poor student.

I really felt like walking out halfway through the movie but couldn't justify wasting the 5 bucks so I stuck it out. I paid to see a movie dammit, and I was gonna get my money's worth!
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hortense
11/12/08

In reply to Is Paris Hilton The New Wienerdog?
"You can't leave! We still have like, super expensive Yodels left!"
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