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Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century

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The Queen of No
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
The guy I'm dating has a bed that dips in the center, his kitchen is hideously dirty (like he still has a pot of chili from a month ago sitting on his stove because his sink is too full of dishes to clean it AND his GF grill is dirty as fuck) and he doesn't use a knife to cut big food in restaurants, he just picks it up and eats it with his hands.

But the sex is amazing and we have fun...
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thekillerkitten
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
I once dumped someone after he wrote me an email (from Switzerland) telling me about a cartoon he was seeing everywhere of "a duck wearing a bire."

Bire? I had no idea what he was talking about. Googled it in case it was a French word I didn't know. Urbandictionaried it. Nothing.

Then I realized there was a picture attached to the email... of a duck wearing a BERET.
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SarahMC
12/05/08

@thekillerkitten: Oh man, that's funny. Once my boyfriend sent an email in which he told me to "have fun at the loooooow." I eventually figured out that he was trying to spell luau.
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chamomile
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
I went on a blind date with a guy who had the worst manners I have ever seen on an adult, especially an adult who was trying to make a good impression. He was imperious with the waitstaff, complained bitterly about the menu prices (at the restaurant HE chose), pushed his food onto his fork with the all four fingertips of his other hand (appetite loss in...4...3...2..J), told bawdy jokes while we waited for the movie to start. Ugh.

The sad thing was that he thought women didn't want to date him because he was short. No, it's because you're an ASSHOLE, idiot. I really wanted to tell him that, but I couldn't figure out how to start that email.
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mllej
12/05/08

@chamomile: Ha, ha. How about "Dear Asshole"?
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Mafalda para Presidente
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
I once dumped a guy because he was rude to the waitress.

Oh wait, that's a valid reason, never mind.
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trublusu
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
I had a guy dump me because he said I was too nice and I liked sex too much...go figure.
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jrhys
12/06/08

@trublusu: HA! I once dated a guy who told me he was a premature ejaculator because " I moved too much" during sex.
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Notes from the underwhelmed
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
Before I met my best friend, we had both dumped the same guy because he smelled like corn.

It was disconcerting, ok?
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LatestBy
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
Which is why I love Reasonswhyidumpedyou.com
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
I once broke up with a guy because he was one of those sappy, emotional, psuedo-intellectual types. At first, I thought he was all deep and esoteric. Plus, he bore a resemblance to an more masculine, more feral and muscular version of Prince. I was also going through my "I'm a cosmically deep and misunderstood college girl" phase, so we clicked. The end came when one morning I woke up to find him staring at me and then he asked me if I wanted to hear the poem he'd written for me. Apparently, my sleeping, drooling, snoring self inspired him to the point of limericks. Shitty, shitty limericks.
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Red-headed bookworm
12/05/08

@Ulookinatmyjunk!?!: Oh, hehehe, that is so bad 80's teen movie.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/05/08

@Ulookinatmyjunk!?!: Whoa...shouldn't call someone a pseudo-intellectual and spell it wrong. Yonks!
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Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka
12/05/08

@Ulookinatmyjunk!?!: He was so pseudo he was only psuedo.
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rollergirl76
12/05/08

@Ulookinatmyjunk!?!: Does anybody remember the "Sensitive Pony Tail Guy" in Singles?
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
12/05/08

@Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka: Hehe...thanks for making my errors correct...and funny.

@SydneyGal: OMG...I wish I still had it!!! It was awful. All I can remember were a lot of references to water and the color brown.

I would love to read the haiku...fire it up!!!
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WaltzingMatilda
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
I have a dear, dear friend who seriously never gave a girl a second chance after a first date for the most absurd of reasons. We actually called him Seinfeld. I mean - her eyelashes are too short, her pants are too long, etc. Well, he found someone - finally - but she is entirely wrong for him. He has found a major flaw in her (one that scares me!), but is afraid to let her go. It is utterly confusing.
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rollergirl76
12/05/08

@WaltzingMatilda...same McCain, less filling!: I guess it just shows that you can't help who you fall in love with.
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WaltzingMatilda
12/05/08

@rollergirl76: Totally true. And I have to believe that everything works out in the end. After all, Mr. WM was a total drunky meathead - but was also 19. Kid is perfect now at the ripe old age of 29. Faults, be damned!
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Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
Hey, Jessica Simpson made a career off of many Seinfeldian reasons not to date someone:

1. Creepy father

2. Believes a post-Emmy party would occur BEFORE the party, because post is similar to postage and you put a stamp on an envelope before you mail it.

3. Buffalo wings are made from real buffalo

4. Controlling father

5. Tuna vs chicken

6. Greasy face (or says she in her Pro-Activ commercials)
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chocolatecoffeebeans
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
I'm trying to break up with a guy right now and have been for almost a month. And I just can't come up with a decent (i.e. Seinfeldian) reason to tell him. I just flat out don't like him anymore and don't wanna hang out with him. Period. He is a nice person but I think he's a dork.
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SarahMC
12/05/08

@chocolatecoffeebeans: How long have you been seeing him?
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tscheese
12/05/08

@chocolatecoffeebeans: Agh, I've been there. I had a very long-term relationship languish for several months as I tried to figure out some way to gracefully leave him with everyone's feelings spared. I was with the guy for like six years and I was living with him. It was a mess.

Finally we talked it out as best we could and we were mostly civil to each other until I could move out. I know I really hurt his feelings and I still feel bad, and I should have been honest with him right away so he didn't feel like I'd been leading him on.

Here's hoping you figure out something soon that leaves everyone's feelings intact!
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chocolatecoffeebeans
12/05/08

@SarahMC: Since the beginning of August. He annoys the ever living crap out of me at this point. Tonight's the night, I have decided!
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Sukie in the Graveyard
12/05/08

@chocolatecoffeebeans: if you make it sound like you are a horrible person (even though you aren't) it will be easier for him to take and move on. I have done that. We both left satisfied because the fling was over (my goal) and he didn't feel so bad (he came out the good guy).

But then, we hadn't been seeing each other long enough to really call it a relationship.

Does that help?
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Miss Smith Drank Your Vodka
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
And sometimes, these people don't love themselves.

//panda hugs/
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tscheese
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
Also, the general theme I'm getting from Jezebel today is that everybody is really bad at breaking up with everybody else.
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Sukie in the Graveyard
12/05/08

@tscheese: oh, yeah. we suck.

There should be training for this sort of thing...
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CrossWord
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
I wasn't planning on continuing a summer fling, but the final nail in the coffin of that relationship was that his "goodbye" present was a HUGE - like, the size of a 7-year old child - teddy bear holding a teddy bear holding a teddy bear. I was 19. He was 25. We did not stay in touch.
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SarahMC
12/05/08

@CrossWord: I've been trying to reply to your PM all day but the system won't let me for some reason. Just had to tell ya!!
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SydneyGal
12/05/08

@CrossWord: Wow, that's almost pervy. Like he was thinking of you as a twelve year old or something.
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CrossWord
12/05/08

@SydneyGal: The worst part about it was that he KNEW I needed to get on a plane the next day. In the end, I just left it at the house I was staying it, and my dad picked it up when he was driving back from a business trip. I put it in a box so that I wouldn't need to explain why I had a ginormous stuffed animal.
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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
12/05/08

In reply to Seinfeld-ian Dating & Dumping Is So 20th Century
If it's just a first date, then did you really "dump" them?
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