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New York, 7:37 PM
Wed Nov 25
64 posts in the last 24 hours
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You, THE ALPHA MALE, are not a lion, as much as you'd like to pretend you are.
09/01/09
I'm not sure it's possible to separate "human nature" from socialized mores. And I'm not sure what the point would be: We're so strongly shaped by our cultures that they are our natures. I think intrinsic "nature" is an imaginary thing.
Also! I LOVE reading about how other cultures shape their lives. It reinforces how the very things we take for granted as "fact," such as who benefits most from monogamy, are in fact just what we've been taught to understand based on who we've been raised to be. This first hit me after reading a book called "The Invention of Women" about certain African micro-nations where a gender binary didn't exist prior to European invasion. It's really eye-opening.
That said, an assumption that because a people is living a certain way in a developing place, that that way of life is closer to "basic human nature" than a culture in a developed country, is .... wrong on many levels.
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It's simple -- marriage is a social device, created by humans. Monogamy and polygamy are coping strategies used by organisms that sexually reproduce, to ensure the survival of the species and the propagation of its genetic code.
The two have little to do with each other.
We convince ourselves that monogamous marriage is the best end strategy for our species, not based on actual evolutionary evidence, but on social schemas developed over thousands of years. There is nothing in nature that says that "marriage" is a useful device, anymore than there is evidence suggesting that monogamy is superior to polygamy. Natural selection tells us that whatever strategy works best at the time and prepares the species to cope with changes in the environment, is the one to invest in, but other strategies are no less valid, as they cover scenarios we may not see coming or understand.
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Although, the poster seems to indicate the husbands are into each other, rather than Miss Jean there.
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01/10/09
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01/10/09
Dutch: 3, right cheek-left-right.
Italian: 3, left-right-left. This is endlessly confusing when you are used to the Dutch style.
French: 2. right-left.
Mexico (and all of South America as far as I know): 1. right.
A group of us went to Chile together in November and some are still holding onto the one kiss greeting. Hilariously, my Italian friend will now say "Santiago!" to inform me he is going for the one kiss greeting to avoid confusion.
If you mess up it's no big deal; you just laugh it off together.
01/10/09
Three kisses are tiring though, especially if you walk into a party with lots of people you know. Usually my friends and I just do one, but we always shout out a warning first ("Just one today") so that the other person isn't awkwardly left hanging.
01/10/09
Most women shake hands with people they don't know well or people they're meeting for the first time, and it's not just a business thing. In informal social settings (say, a bar) you will also shake hands often. When you exchange names, you shake hands. I was told by my sister, who did a high school year in the US, that her friends there thought this was hilariously weird and formal, but here it's just good manners. I wonder if their age had anything to do with it.
But I never see it on TV either. Man, when I go to the US this is going to be so strange. What do you do when you're introduced to someone? Just say "hi"? Do an awkward little wave, Mr Collins-in-P&P-1995-edition-style?
When I was little, kisses were not required yet, but shaking hands was mandatory at birthdays and family get-togethers. I think I moved on to the three kisses thing at 11 or something. It makes one feel quite grown up!
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