It's So Damn Cold In Chicago, If You Blow a Bubble It Will Freeze

This is some Game of Thrones Long Winter shit right here. WBEZ Chicago posted this on their Facebook page last night:
Major Ice Storm Hits Texas
[DALLAS, TX - DECEMBER 06: Icicles form on a barricade in front of the Dallas skyline on December 6, 2013 in Dallas, Texas. The ice storm that has hit North Texas has left over 250,000 residents and businesses without power and has led to more than 1,700 flight delays and cancellations across the country. (Photo by…
Girl Psyches Herself Up for Very First Potential Skiing Accident
Skiing — or as I like to think of it ever since being pushed down a double-black diamond in middle school, Old Man Winter's broken bone roulette wheel — can be dangerous. Just ask Larry Miller, who, in his 1992 HBO comedy special, Just Words, offers the most succinct advice for anyone considering a skiing trip:…
3-Year-Old Girl Goes for Mile-Long Walk by Herself in the Middle of Night
This ought to set your heart into overdrive: Hope Trott, a 3-year-old from Maine, woke up in the middle of the night on Wednesday and left her house all by herself. She then proceeded to walk a mile in fresh snow to a grocery store, because apparently she thought her mother was inside buying a pizza. It's not clear…
Two Deadly Avalanches Hit Ski Resorts Near Seattle
For our sanity's sake, we prefer to think that deadly avalanches only happen on remote mountains on the other side of the world. But really they can happen anywhere, as people in Washington state sadly learned today. Earlier this afternoon, an avalanche occurred in the Cascade Mountains northeast of Seattle and killed…
People Manage to Complain About the Delightful Lack of Snowstorms
Though many of us appreciate that there's been little snow shoveling this year and we've yet to step into a puddle and get frigid street slush in our boot, some people aren't so happy about the bizarre lack of snow. Currently only 19% of the country is covered in snow, which is less than half of the average snow cover…
People Are Paying Lots Of Money To Have Their Yards Covered In Fake Snow
If you had $20,000 to spare, what would you spend it on? A car? Your child's education? Investments? Donations to charities? Maaaybe, but you might also use it to pay to have your yard filled up with fake snow. Yes, that is a real thing! They've been doing it at ski hills for ages, but you can also have a snow machine…
Tiger Gives Snow A Much-Deserved Raspberry
[Beijing, February 13: A tiger rests in a snow covered enclosure at the Beijing Zoo. Image via AP.]
Happy Hump Day!
[Emily writes: "My dogs' snowy puppy faces are the only upside of the ridiculous winter we've been subjected to of late." We love them both, but feel especially close to the grumpy one! Images via the Jezebel mailbox.]
Click to enlarge for whisker details!The Child Who Will Save Us All From The Snowpocalypse
[Massachusetts, February 1: Ilona Chisholm, 13 months, helps her mom shovel snow out of their driveway using a rake. Image via AP.]
College Prof Has Answers For All Those Snowpocalypse Penguin Questions
In this e-mail posted on Reddit, a professor dismisses Freud's cocaine-fueled writings and promises everyone will receive an A if he freezes to death. This may not be smart, as frostbite fatalities can be easily faked.
