[New York, October 31. Image via Pacific Coast News]

[New York, May 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

According to the blogger at Sociological Images, these items look like magazines, but they're not. They're framed images meant to be hung on the walls of a girl's room. They blend the tabloidy, ladymag celebrity culture with the Disney brand into the ultimate mindscramble of a fantastical dreamland with no basis in reality pretending to be real.

Ariel, with her impossibly narrow waist, is next to a "cover line" which reads "swimsuits that fit every shape." It's meant to be amusing, but "dress for your shape" stories are often an epic fail in women's magazines. Do little girls need Disney's help in looking forward to that? One of Snow White's cover lines, "Stepmothers: Evil Or Just Misunderstood?" is supposed to be a joke, but what if you're a kid who has a stepmom? Don't even get me started on Sleeping Beauty's line, "Find Your Prince."

The blogger writes:

The product suggests that while it is all well and good to be a princess, you should aim to be a famous princess. In addition to occupying castles and fantasy forests, you should grace the covers of magazines. You should aspire to inspire the lust and admiration of the masses, not just your prince.

Aren't little girls who think that tabloid popularity and a man will make everything better little girls with unrealistic expectations? Can't they wait until theyre older for this kind of brainwashing? When they watch Carrie Bradshaw get the man who buys her a shoe closet, everything will seem quite clear.

Modernizing The Fairytale [Sociological Images]
Earlier: Vogue Swimwear
In Which We Explore The Ridiculousness Of "Dressing For Your Shape"
Lucky's "Best" Swimsuits Also The Smallest, Least Supportive
Having Conquered Girls, Disney Moves On To Boys

[Orlando, March 23. Image via Getty.]

ORLAND, FL - MARCH 23: In this handout photo from Walt Disney World, actors dressed as princesses Belle (L), Cinderella and Snow White pose with '30 Rock' actress and executive producer Tina Fey and 'ER' actor John Stamos inside Cinderella Castle at Magic Kingdom on March 23 in Lake Buena Vista, Florida. (Photo by Kent Phillips/Walt Disney World Via Getty Images)

Stephen Garner lists nine "subversive animated female heroines" who "have challenged stereotypes of how 'good girls' should look and behave and have proved an important and useful catalyst effecting change in women's battle for equal rights." Who are these powerful role models? How about Betty Boop, who subversively "wore short dresses, high heels and a garter belt and was an object of affection for many men." Or my personal favorite, Modesty Blaise, a comic book character whose favorite trick was taking off her shirt to create a diversion so her male partner could kill the bad guys.

Despite its inclusion of Tank Girl, Garner's list basically shows that cartoon and comic book women have a lot of the same problems real women have — they're supposed to be sex objects first, and this limits their ability to do cool stuff. They've even been getting plastic surgery to better conform to society's standards of beauty — check out the transformation of Snow White, and the liposuction of the underage Strawberry Shortcake.

Of course, since girls do, in fact, read comics — and play video games — creators have made efforts to appeal to them. Unfortunately, these efforts are disturbingly boob-focused. Lara Croft of Tomb Raider got her chest reduced as a ploy to appease female gamers. And X-Men writer Brian K. Vaughan sees a need "to raise the dialogue about comics beyond, 'Could her boobs be smaller?'"

Karen Healey at Girls Read Comics points out that the sexiness of female comic book characters isn't a problem in itself — as long as it doesn't get in the way of storytelling. Which brings up a question: who are female comic and cartoon characters for? Snow White and Strawberry Shortcake are arguably for kids, who purportedly like watching average, kid-like bodies — so perhaps their makeovers should be reversed. But if grown-ass women are reading comic books — and, this lady's opinion notwithstanding, they are — then they can handle a little hotness. It may not be obvious to all male comic book writers, but many women have boobs and sex — and also have interesting lives. Maybe superwomen should act a little more like us.

The sexual revolution... in cartoon form [BBC]
Show, Don’t Tell [Girls Read Comics]
Supergirls Gone Wild: Gender Bias In Comics Shortchanges Superwomen [Mother Jones]
When Did Snow White Get So Dirty? [Deep Glamour]
Cartoon characters getting "makeovers" [Feministing]
How kids prefer cartoon characters to look [AdFreak]
Lara's curves reduced to appeal to female gamers [Sydney Morning Herald]
Superhero Comics Aren’t for Girls [Comics Worth Reading]
WOMEN AND COMIC BOOKS [Laura Gjovaag]

• Is Josh Davis Photography the Glamour Shots of the 21st-century?• Meanwhile, what is with the surge in popularity of people uploading their embarrassing late-'80s and early-'90s mall and school portraits on the internet? (Keep sending those Past Fashions!) • Psycho shut-ins rejoice! The Japanese have invented a tiny virtual girlfriend that you can pointlessly torture to make up for the fact you have no friends. • Recent police raids in Nigeria revel a network of baby "factories" that illegally breed babies to sell to childless couples. • A woman whose husband died in 2006 while trying to scale the summit of Mount Hood, has written a book defending her husband and his climbing companion's decision to climb right as a storm moved in on the mountain. • Tyra Banks finds a way to make Barack Obama's historic election all about her. • The FDA has received 930 reports of health problems caused by wrinkle-fighting injections over the past 6 years. •

In addition, there's some diversity in Tinker Bell's world: While the most popular Disney Princesses are white (okay, okay, Jasmine's either Saudi Arabian or Iraqi; Mulan's Chinese), Tinker Bell totally has a black friend! Her name is Iridessa and she's organized and stubborn. Blogger Michelle Schwartz writes for Shameless, "A lot of little girls don’t want to sit around and wait for Prince Charming to marry them; they want to lead the adventure themselves, and fairies are nothing if not adventurous." And young girls seem to be ready for a more active, less passive Disney characters.

American Public Media Marketplace interviewed 9-year-old Bennet Flemmingwood, who used to like Princesses and now is getting into fairies. She says of Princesses: "They weren't doing things for themselves, other people were doing it for them. Like Snow White, she wasn't as smart. You don't take food from strangers." As for fairies? "They're in nature and you don't have to be, like, watching a movie or like wear a fancy dress, they can be more personality and smart."

Of course, Tinker Bell and her friends are still part of a corporate machine; their stories have little to do with the pre-Christian pixie myths from the UK areas of Devon and Cornwall. Michelle Schwartz of Shameless hopes that girls will also discover non-Disney "magical" female characters in books like Holly Black’s Ironside series and Susanna Clarke’s The Ladies of Grace Adieu. But in terms of role models, is Tinker Bell any better than the Disney Princesses? And how come there's no hugely popular female version of Harry Potter — a boy who is "magic" while having glasses and shaggy hair, like a real kid? Isn't Tinker Bell basically a blonde pin-up they've turned into a Bratz character?

Fairies And Princesses And Pixies, Oh My! [Shameless]
Tinker Bell Breaks Out On Her Own [American Public Media Marketplace]

Ariel:
Verdict: If you can't have fins, there's always tiers?

Belle:
Verdict: The website says that the flower detailing at the waist is in reference to Belle's "generous spirit." We still don't get it.

Cinderella:
Verdict: Cinderella. Full skirts. We get it.

Jasmine:
Verdict: What would Edward Said say about the Jasmine looks having "unique" necklines? Probably that same ol' thing about the romanticization of the Other for consumption by the West.

Sleeping Beauty:
Verdict: Apparently Sleeping Beauty likes bows.

Snow White:
Verdict: If you're gonna be in a glass coffin, you might as well accessorize with some tulle and ruching.

Earlier: Disney Bridal: For The Fairy Princess In None Of Us
Disney Bridesmaids Dresses: For The Fairy Princess In None Of Your Friends

Ariel: Verdict: Wow. They're all sea-colored. Deep.

Belle: Verdict: At least one is yellow like the dress Belle danced with the Beast in.

Cinderella: Verdict: Perfect for wicked stepsisters.

Jasmine: Verdict: Just me, or does this model sorta look like Atoosa Rubenstein?

Sleeping Beauty: Verdict: But no way in hell would the 'Toos wear one of these short flouncy things. Maybe the long black one though? She does have a goth side.

Snow White: Verdict: Oh now I remember: Hair as black as coal, lips as red as cherries, skin as white as snow.

Earlier: Disney Bridal: For The Fairy Princess In None Of Us

Verdict: Mermaid tails. How, um, literal.

Verdict: Has Kirstie Kelly woman ever seen Beauty and the Beast? No bookish geek girl worth her library would be seen within spitting distance of this much tulle underlay.

Verdict: Oh come on: Would it have killed her to do at least one of those in that Cinderella blue? Think outside the box, ladies. And by that we mean, translate your cartoon idols as literally as possible.

Verdict: Because in Arabia, they accentuate their hips?

Verdict: Notice how all these styles have sleeves of some sorts. After all that time sleeping, we guess Beauty wasn't afraid to play it coy at the altar.

Verdict: Is it weird that the oldest cartoon yielded one of the more modern looking dresses? I mean, at least that middle one isn't a princess dress.