A Sharknado 'Actually Can Happen,' Says Shark Scientist Tara Reid

Oh man, I was just sitting here feeling all despairing about how the only thing I could find for a lede was that Snooki had a Great Gatsby-themed bridal/baby shower and I was trying to think of some jokes about, like, a ball pit only instead of balls it's shirts and a champagne fountain shaped like a wet diaper and a… » 7/24/14 8:00pm 7/24/14 8:00pm

Bill Clinton Takes Photo With Sex Workers

TMZ is reporting that Bill Clinton took a photo with two sex workers from The Moonlite Bunny Ranch at an elite Unite4Humanity benefit in Los Angeles earlier this week. The photo, tweeted by Madison Graham, features a smiling Clinton in between sex workers Ava Adora and Barbie Girl. TMZ admits that Clinton probably had… » 3/01/14 11:30am 3/01/14 11:30am

Ireland Baldwin Defends Her Native American Halloween Costume

In today's Tweet Beat, various Dancing with the Stars cast members mourn the ousting of Snooki, Ireland Baldwin says she deleted a picture of her Halloween costume "because it was insulting all the poor little white girls who need a racial cause to be apart [sic] of for attention" and Talib Kweli makes some articulate… » 10/29/13 7:30pm 10/29/13 7:30pm

Snooki Wants to Arrange a Baby-Marriage Between Lorenzo and North West

Okay, so, sometimes I write hyperbolic joke headlines, just for fun, in an attempt to make the mundane activities of celebrities even marginally interesting, but not this headline. Not this one. THIS ONE IS 100% BIG NATURALS. Snooki literally wants her little baby Lorenzo to go on a date with little baby North West » 10/15/13 8:00pm 10/15/13 8:00pm

Of Course Lindsay Lohan's Being Accused of Partying All Night

Bleh. Seven days out of Cliffside, where Lindsay Lohan served her 90 days of court-ordered rehab, she has allegedly been spotted partying with her friend-and-occasional-hookup Max George and sister Ali in Los Angeles. The party went all night, and a "source" (a pigeon? That disgusting oil heir Brandon "Firecrotch"… » 8/09/13 9:00am 8/09/13 9:00am

Snooki Loves Gay People So Much that She's Praying for a Gay Son

Snooki and JWoww appeared at a fundraiser for the Trevor Project and talked about how committed they are to LGBT rights. So committed, in fact, that Snooki is "praying" that she gives birth to a gay son someday. Because nothing says "super committed to equality" like treating a human baby like a fashion accessory.… » 6/19/13 9:00pm 6/19/13 9:00pm

Rihanna Heading to Love Rehab to Finally Get Over You-Know-Who

After years of concern, concern-trolling, and self-destructive behavior that made even Oprah do this, Rihanna is allegedly taking some time off from her Diamonds World Tour to check into a women's sex and love addiction program at Centers for Relationship and Sexual Recovery (CRSR) on Recovery Ranch, a Tennessee… » 6/18/13 9:00am 6/18/13 9:00am

Chris Christie Finally Met Snooki And It Was Pretty Dark, Unpleasant

Chris Christie, who has gone on record multiple times as a World Class H8er of the Maysles brothers-directed cinéma vérité series Jersey Shore, met the cast of Jersey Shore when both Christie's team and Snooki's team were filming segments for the Today Show in Seaside Heights. And it wasn't even entertaining in a… » 5/25/13 11:30am 5/25/13 11:30am

Robb Stark Is Your New Prince Charming in Disney's Live-Action…

To me, Cinderella is the Superman of fairy tale heroines—I'm not mad, but the chick is BLAAAAAAAAND. That said, though, I'll probably go see Disney's live-action Cinderella adaptation (scheduled for release next year) because I'm a ridiculous woman-baby and magic is my food. Anyway, Richard Madden (a.k.a. the King in… » 5/08/13 8:45pm 5/08/13 8:45pm

This Week in Tabloids: Snooki Lost the Baby Weight by Starving Herself…

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we skim the bugs and fallen leaves of "news" from the tabloid swimming pools of In Touch, Us, Ok!, Life & Style and Star. This week, Kris Jenner's drunk and getting divorced; Taylor Swift can't wait to be a movie star; and Snooki is starving herself.
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