The best part isn't even the appearance of the joint — it's Marilyn laughing and making "stoned" faces afterward. Not since Anna Faris in Smiley Face has a bombshell actress looked so convincingly stoned on screen:

New Marilyn Monroe Home Movie Shows Starlet Inhaling [NBC]
Marilyn Monroe Smoking Marijuana [Allegedly] In New Home Movie [HuffPo]

• A 54-year-old woman from Chicago has been charged with a hate crime for harassing a young Muslim woman in a grocery store. Valerie Kenney reportedly made loud references to the Fort Hood shootings before grabbing and pulling Amal Abusumaya's headscarf. If convicted, Kenney faces up to three years in prison and a $25,000 fine. •  A woman accused with trying to exhort money from former Knicks coach Rick Pitino has been charged for falsely claiming Pitino raped her. The FBI says there is no evidence that a rape occurred, although he admits to having consensual sex with the woman. • A new analysis of several different studies has found that women who quit smoking while in treatment for weight control fare better at both tasks. While conventional wisdom tells us that going cold turkey while dieting is impossible, researchers say now women won't "have to choose between the two." •  29-year-old Mario McNeill has admitted to the kidnap of 5-year-old Shaniya Davis. McNeill told investigators that he took Shaniya from her home to a hotel about 30 miles away. Police have not yet brought charged against McNeill, and don't plan to until jurisdiction questions are resolved. • Two college students were handcuffed and driven away in a police car after they refused to pay a mandatory gratuity service at the Lehigh Pub. "Gratuity is thanking you for your service," argued 22-year-old Leslie Pope. "You can't give us terrible, terrible service and expect a tip." • Japanese drug company Sciele Pharma Inc plans to file for U.S. approval of a spray that numbs the penis to prevent premature ejaculation. There is currently no prescription treatment for the condition, which Sciele estimates affects up to a third of American men ages 18 to 59. • The March of Dimes gave the U.S. a D on its premature births report card because one out of eight American babies are born prematurely each year. Some states were recognized for taking steps to reduce smoking among women or providing health insurance coverage for pregnant women, but no state got an A. • A study of 2,016 women by deodorant-maker Bionsen found that the average British woman "hosts" 515 chemicals on her body every day. Most of the pollutants come from deodorant, perfumes, moisturizers, and makeup the women put on themselves. • Separate studies found that the most talented male athletes also have attractive faces. In one study women ranked the best NFL players as more desirable, and another survey of New Scientist Twitter followers came up with similar results for men's tennis. Researchers concluded the same genetic factors may be linked to an attractive male face and athletic prowess. • The American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery has responded to the Senate health bill including a 5 percent tax on most of their procedures with six reasons they think it's a bad idea, including, "cosmetic surgery is not a specialty for only the wealthy or the vain," and "despite the fact that more men are seeking cosmetic procedures than ever, the largest portion of patients are still working women, who would be unfairly targeted by such taxes." •

The pictures in question were taken over the summer, and showed the pretending to kiss or lick "novelty phallus-shaped lollipops." Other images showed the girls in their underwear with dollar bills sticking out. The ACLU has become involved in the case, and they claim that since the incident occurred outside school, it should not effect their standing. •  A new study from Britain's Department of Health has found that new mothers feel most anxious around five months after giving birth. At this point, the excitement has supposedly worn off, and friends and relatives are supposedly no longer offering as much support, which leads many mothers to feel isolated and nervous. • Nutrition experts have complained that Kellogg's is falsely advertising that its Cocoa Krispies cereal can help "boost immunity." Currently, the Cocoa Krispies box reads: ""Now helps support your child's IMMUNITY," alluding to the addition of vitamins A, C and E. But Kelly Brownell from Yale University says, "by their logic, you can spray vitamins on a pile of leaves, and it will boost immunity." • Researchers recently found that 1/5 of smokers lie about smoking during pregnancy. The study, which looked at 3,475 women from Scotland, asked women to come clean about lighting up while pregnant and followed up with the revealing blood tests. •  The Cyprus Feline Society has identified two breeds of cat that they claim are "ancient breeds" and would like international recognition for them. The two breeds include the tall and elegant "Aphrodite," and short, broad-faced "Helen." •  A professor at Harvard has announced that next semester he plans a class based entirely on the HBO show The Wire. "I do not hesitate to say that it has done more to enhance our understanding of the challenges of urban life and the problems of urban inequality, more than any other media event or scholarly publication," said sociology professor William J. Wilson at a recent panel discussion.  • A new study found that while marriage rates are lower for women on welfare, receiving Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, once they exit the system they are as likely to marry as women who were never on welfare. • International cancer specialists will meet this week to figure out how to combat the increase of breast cancer in developing countries, where almost two-thirds of women aren't diagnosed until the cancer has spread through their bodies. Doctors say part of the problem is that in some areas women worry that men will leave them if they lose a breast. "It's not a trivial consideration," says Dr. Lawrence Shulman of the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, who is working to begin cancer care in parts of Africa where "the women are often seen as really either vessels for producing children or as sex slaves." • A mother in New York is challenging a judge's decision to 34 percent increase in the number of Down Syndrome births between 1989 and 2005, 15 percent fewer babies were born during that time due to prenatal testing. Some are worried that the decline in Down Syndrome cases will lead to cuts in research funding and that more people aren't even considering raising a child with Down syndrome. • A Texas health clinic operator CareNow says it regrets telling a Muslim doctor applying for a job that she couldn't wear her hijab. The company called it a "misunderstanding" after the American-Islamic Relations wrote to CareNow, explaining federal law requires employers to reasonably accommodate religious practices of an employee. • Today Michelle Obama is launching a mentoring program in which she and female White House staffers will mentor 20 high school girls from the Washington, D.C. area. The girls will get to visit their mentors' offices and gather for a group dinner. • Despite Liz Lemon's well-known love of the German language, 30 Rock is not popular in Germany. Its premiere last night on the German channel ZDFNeo earned a 0.0 rating, meaning it was watched by fewer than 5,000 people. Blerg. •

• Although death rates for male smokers are declining as more men quit, the death rate for women from smoking-related illnesses is steadily rising in Western Europe. Also scary: those killed before age 70 from smoking lose, on average, 23 years of life. • Since the economic downturn, Ireland has become "firmly enmeshed in the global sex trade," according to Ruhama, an organization that gives support to sex workers. Many of the women being trafficked into Ireland are underage (some as young as 15), and come from Eastern European countries and Nigeria. •  A new law passed in the UK will allow lesbians to register the names of both partners on their children's birth certificates. Previously, only one woman was allowed to register as the mother. Obviously, some homophobic critics say "the change would be detrimental to family values." • A 37-year-old woman from Germany suffers some very interesting seizures, which temporarily turn her into a man (at least, in her own mind). She reports feeling that her voice has become deeper and her arms hairier. She has also suffered damage to the right amygdala, but doctors are uncertain whether that is the direct cause. • The World Endometriosis Research Foundation has announced a new study, which will focus on the estimated 100 million women who suffer from the disease, and seeks to address the dangerous lack of data about the illness. • A 10-year-old girl from Florida saved the lives of many of her neighbors when she ran door-to-door, knocking and yelling, to alert them of the growing fire. "This little girl, a really great person, saved us," said Jessica Phelps, a resident of the Orange County apartment building. • An online survey found that only 13% of Wikipedia contributors are female, and only 31% of its readers are women. • Following her conversion to Christianity, and the subsequent death threats from her father, a 17-year-old Muslim girl ran away from home to live with a pastor. Many Florida Muslims take issue with the press coverage of the story, which they claim has portrayed the entire Muslim community in a negative light. •

Images of suffragettes are juxtaposed with images of "modern" women, yet the language is still sexist — the cigarette flavor is "mild," for women only; the cigarettes are "tailored for the feminine hand." As blogger Lisa of Sociological Images points out, the last commercial insists that the cigarette is "beautiful."

What's interesting is that this idea of the smoking woman as being both "beautiful" and "liberated" has stuck with us, to some extent. In the late '70s, women were being encouraged to smoke pretty. Some recent fashion layouts have featured smoking models, gorgeous in their utter lack of feeling "motherly." In 2007, a direct mail campaign marketed Camel cigarettes as a "designer" "must-have." And when thinking of contemporary iconic women who smoke, three images sprang to mind:

Carrie Bradshaw

Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction

Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct

All beautiful, all "liberated," not the kind of women who ask permission. Do we as viewers see them as sexy and confident? Or as damaging their lungs and hearts?

"You've Got Your Own Cigarette Now, Baby!" [Sociological Images]
Virginia Slims Commercials (1969) [Internet Archive]
Earlier: How To Market Death To Women: Make It Sexy, Make It Pink
Oldies But Goodies

The bottom half of the ad shows a smiling Rock Hudson with a submissive dog by his side- a not-so-subtle nod to husbands that having smokes in the house will keep your wife from her "terrier" ways, as well. Somewhere, Don Draper is giving this ad a big thumbs up. [Stanford]

After studying 683 lung cancer patients, researchers discovered that female smokers developed the illness earlier than males, even though the women smoked less than their male counterparts. "'In the early 1900s lung cancer was reported to be rare in women, but since the 1960s it has progressively reached epidemic proportions, becoming the leading cause of cancer deaths among women in the United States," says Dr. Dr Enriqueta Felip, "Lung cancer is not only a man's disease, but women tend to be much more aware of other cancers, such as breast cancer." [DailyMail]

Ah, yes. Smoking is one of Carine Roitfeld's Favorite Things; she once told the Guardian she wouldn't want Anna Wintour's job because in America, you can't put a smoking model on your cover. So it comes as little surprise that she'd find an excuse to show pregnancy clope à bec.

Is this an editorial about the tribulations, joys and ambiguities of contemporary motherhood? It certainly recognizes that we all have to juggle a lot of roles.

Feeding baby can be such a chore.

Adding another layer of weirdness to this shoot? The fact that Lily Donaldson dates Vladimir Restoin-Roitfeld, Carine Roitfeld's son.

Those Prada shoes are not recommended past the first trimester.

Chanel, on the other hand, is forever.

I love that this editorial isn't Lily Donaldson's usual prettified English-rose thing. Plus, it's cracking me up. But I'm a little bent. If American Vogue themed a shoot around "motherhood", all we'd get would be posed portraits of Liya Kebede with her baby, looking angelic, Natalia Vodianova with her baby, looking beatific, Milla Jovovich with her baby, looking serene — it'd be a 10-page snoozefest, the mother of all clichés. French Vogue found the tenderness in mothering, but also the humor, the wackiness, the suggestion that it isn't perhaps natural to all women, and the surprise.

You just know Patrick Demarchelier was snapping away when Carine said, in her smoky French Barbara Walters diction, "Leelee? Now we do somesing a leedle osé. Shoot up widt zee bottul. Pretend shoot up. Peuhfect. Yes."

Can you imagine the reader outrage if a similarly unsentimental editorial take on motherhood ever slipped past the censors at Condé Nast USA? Sometimes it's like Carine Roitfeld's sense of glee at not having to edit for American Vogue's outsized sense of propriety just seeps through the page.

The study by Oxford University researchers and published this week in The Lancet medical journal, is a new analysis of 57 separate studies conducted mostly in North America and Europe, reports The Guardian. Researchers examined the body mass index (BMI) of nearly 900,000 people, most of whom were 46 in 1979 when the study started and had an average BMI of 25. A BMI of 18.5 to 24.9 is considered normal, 25 to 29.9 is overweight, and 30 or more is classified as obese.

Researchers followed the group for 20 years, during which time 100,000 people died. Men and women with a BMI between 22.5 and 25 were least likely to die during the study, but ever additional 5 GMI points reduced their mortality rate by 30 percent. The group with the lowest mortality rate had a BMI of 24. People who had a BMI of 30 to 35, considered moderately obese, died three years earlier than would be expected at a healthy weight. Those who were severely obese, with a BMI of 40 to 50 cut their lifespan by 10 years, about the same as is estimated for smokers.

Though severe obesity only affects about 2% of the population, in the United States 66% of adults are either overweight or obese, according to CNN. "What is particularly worrisome in the United States is that more than a third of people now qualify as obese, and a subset of people are becoming progressively more obese," says Michael Thun, emeritus vice president of epidemiological research at the American Cancer Society, who did not work on the study. Thun said that while obese people should focus on not continuing to gain weight and quitting smoking, since both smoking and severe obesity take an average of 10 years off your life. "There has been an artificial horse race between obesity and smoking over which is worse. This is fundamentally silly," says Thun. Oxford University professor Richard Peto, who worked on the study, stressed that it should not be interpreted to mean that smoking is less dangerous. "These are two things that you do have any choice about," Peto said. "I think smokers are getting the wrong message if they keep on smoking and think what matters is obesity. Smoking matters enormously more."

Obese Die Up To 10 Years Early, Study Of A Million People Finds [The Guardian]
Obesity Can Shorten Lifespan Up To A Decade [CNN]

Suzanne's daughter thinks she drinks too much. This is what Tyra's special-effects makeup crew interpreted her aging process to be: A little kid in a horror movie.

This woman smokes two packs of cigarettes a day. She insists that she won't really look like this because black don't crack.

This woman has a tanning bed in her home that she sleeps in once a day. She says that she would get plastic surgery before letting her face ever look like this.

Research published in the journal Globalization and Health found that since the South Korean cigarette market was opened to the world in 1988, transnational tobacco companies have been running ads in the country that link smoking with feminism and the liberation of women. "Product design associating smoking with body image and female emancipation, familiarly deployed elsewhere, have been extensively used in South Korea to appeal to female smokers," says lead researcher Kelley Lee. Though South Korea banned tobacco advertising marketed directly to women and children in 1989, the tobacco companies found ways around the law, such as using couples in ads and billing cigarettes as "ultra light" or "superslim," to target women. Smoking rates among women in certain age groups have risen in the past 20 years in South Korea, and researchers say the government needs to tighten restrictions and educate the public on the facts about smoking. [EurekAlert]

Patrick pointed out that quitting smoking won't help cure the cancer he has now, and he said that when he's given more than five minutes to live, he'll drop cigarettes "like a hot potato." He's currently suffering from stage four pancreatic cancer, which is the final stage of what doctors refer to as "among the worst cancers." It has also spread to other organs, including his liver. Survival is usually limited to a couple of months, but Patrick, who was diagnosed with the disease in January 2008, has clearly beaten the odds and even managed to film 13 episodes of a new TV show, The Beast, for A&E.

He's incredibly angry about the tabloid coverage of his illness, in which headlines have been claiming he only has weeks to live (these headlines have been running for about a year now). The reason he's so angry, he explains, is that such dire, false predictions are form of emotional cruelty. "Hope is a very, very fragile thing in anyone's life," he told Barbara. "People I love do not need to be having that hope robbed from them."

[Hollywood, August 12. Image via x17.]