As mentioned last week, a new study published in The Journal of Neuroscience has shown that women can detect the differences between men's "neutral" sweat and sweat when they are sexually aroused. Researchers had 20 heterosexual men hold absorbent pads under their arms while watching erotic films and films with neutral content, then had 19 heterosexual women smell the pads of the men who were most aroused, explains today's The New York Times. All but two of the women said they couldn't smell any human odor on the pads and none said they could tell the sexual sweat from the neutral sweat. However, scientists found that the sexual scents caused activity in different areas of the women's brains than the neutral scents; brain activity didn't indicate that they were turned on by the smell of sexual sweat, but the brain could recognize the emotional information contained in the sweat, meaning that humans are communicating through smell.

But, according to this morning's other armpit news, people are so desperate to ensure that their sweat isn't sending the wrong messages that they are willing to pay more than two times the regular price of deodorant. The Times' business section reports that the deodorant industry in experiencing a bump in sales thanks to the introduction of clinical-strength antiperspirants over the past few years. The trend started in 2007 with the introduction of Secret Clinical Strength, which has the same active ingredient as regular Secret, but in a concentration that is 25 percent higher. (It also comes at a much higher price, selling for about $8.50 compared to $3 for regular Secret.)

Company research at Proctor & Gamble reports that 25 percent of women consider themselves "heavy sweaters," and 35 percent of both sexes experience underarm wetness one or more times per week. Manufacturers have found that these heavy sweaters, or people attending a special events where they expect to sweat, like a wedding or a job interview, are very willing to pay a higher price to stay dry. Now many deodorant brands, including Dove, Sure, and Suave, have introduced "clinical strength" formulas.

The success of the new formulas has caused huge excitement in the deodorant industry. Most people already use deodorant, and as Unilever executive manager Kevin George tells the Times, "Unless we get people to grow a third arm, there's limited potential." Secret has even dared to violate a deodorant commercial taboo in the ads for the clinical strength formula, showing bridesmaids at an outdoor wedding checking out their arm pits and one noticing a wet spot under her arm. "We have not shown pitting out before - it's the most overt we've ever been," said Becky Swanson, the creative director for Secret's advertising.

Varying Sweat Scents Are Noted By Women [The New York Times]
If You're Nervous, Deodorant Makers Have a Product for You [The New York Times]

Some of you hard-core ladies might recall Tracie's grand experiments with the perfume Vulva, taking it to be sniffed in Chelsea and on the Upper East Side. Most people were, let's be frank, kind of grossed out by the smell of pussy. Now, while there are, no doubt, plenty of sex-phobic and gynophobic people in the world, legitimate phobias were not the issue here. Pussy (when not in the throes of a bacterial infection) doesn't smell bad. It doesn't need to be douched or perfumed away. Femininity shouldn't be a celebration of being hairless and stankless and pristine like a fucking Barbie doll, and (good) sex doesn't look like an R-rated movie. It's fluid-filled and objectively kind of weird-looking, sweaty and, yes, smelly and full of heavy breathing and weird noises and none of it detracts from the fact that we are biologically designed to want to do it, badly, and that, when done right, it feels really damn good. And the more we all (men and women) obsess about whether we smell or look perfect or are doing it "right," the less we pay attention to doing it (and having fun at it). And, yes, pay equality and child care and parental leave and equal rights are important feminist issues, but it is no less important for women to feel comfortable in their own bodies and not try to live up to some Barbie ideal of what women are "supposed" to be, and if Wetlands helps start a conversation about hemorrhoids and taking a crap like a human being whether or not you're at "his" house and liking anal sex and liking the smell of pussy or whatever, if it helps women take away a moment of understanding that we're all sort of dirty and weird and sexual and that that's okay, then, fuck it, this should be required reading.

Anyway, with that preamble, here's Helen, our heroine, on stank.

Pussy washing was made into some great science in our house. It is allegedly very hard to get a pussy really clean. That is, of course, total bullshit. A little bit of water, a little bit of soap, scrub, scrub. Done.

But, you have to be careful not to wash it too much, or else you'll wash away the important pussy flora. And they're really important during sex for the right pussy smell and taste. They shouldn't be gotten rid of. I've been experimenting for quite a while with unwashed pussy. My goal is for it to be easily and seductively smelled through pants, even through thick jeans or ski pants. It won't exactly be known by men, but they'll experience it subliminally, because we're all really just animals looking to pair up. Preferably with people that smell like pussy.

So then you start to flirt and you have to grin the whole time because you just know that the air is filling with this deliciously sweet smell. It's exactly the effect that perfume is supposed to have. We're always told that perfume can have erotic effects on others, but why don't we use our own, more effective perfume? In reality, we all get turned on by the smell of pussy, cock and sweat. Most people are just alienated and think that everything natural reeks and everything man-made smells good. When a woman coated in perfume walks by me, it makes me want to hurl. What does she have to hide? Women spray their perfume around in public toilets after they've taken a shit, thinking that it makes everything smells agreeable. I can always smell their shit through the perfume, though. I prefer the smell of old shit and piss to these purchased, disgusting perfumes.

What is worse are these women who spray perfume in the toilet think it's some brilliant new idea that they just have to pass on.

Whenever you are in a public bathroom, regardless of whether its a restaurant or a train station, you go to the bathroom and pull the stall door closed behind you and then are sprayed with something wet from above. The first time, I was startled. I thought someone from a neighboring stall had flicked water at me. But peering up I realized that there was a kind of soap dispenser fixed above the door, the purpose and intention of which is to water unsuspecting bathroom users with an objectionable air freshener as soon as they close the door. In your hair, on your clothes, in your face. If that's not the ultimate violation to a hygiene fanatic, I don't know what is.

I use my own pussy juice the way others use their perfume bottles. I stick a finger in my pussy and then dab the slime behind my earlobes. It works wonders when you're kissing people on the cheek.

Germany Abuzz at Racy Novel of Sex and Hygiene [NY Times]
Related: Feuchtgebiete [Amazon.de]

Earlier: 'Vulva': The Perfume Of The Panty-Minded
What Do Gay Men Think Of "Vulva", The Ladyparts Perfume?
Upper East Siders Love Crotch, Hate "Vulva"

The interesting part is that since the scientists were using gambling in their study, erotic photos (which have nothing to do with gambling) are considered "irrelevant stimuli." Brian Knutson, assistant professor of psychology and lead author of the Stanford study, explains, "If you go to the casinos, people are wearing skimpy costumes, they're giving you free alcohol, there are bells and lights and things like that, which don't necessarily seem related to the odds of the gambling. But these are cues that might activate brain regions that encourage risk-taking and therefore get people to gamble more." So let's get this straight: Men subconsciously crave half-nekkid women, and women subconsciously crave brownies?

Irrelevant Image Of Attractive Woman Can Make A Man More Willing To Take Big Financial Risks [Science Daily]
Earlier: Delicious Scents Make You Drop Cash

Well, well, well! Not only will your boyfriend's schweaty balls armpits make you horny and fat, they'll also make you smarter! Apparently the new issue of Science is reporting that "a whiff of a familiar scent can help a slumbering brain better remember things that it learned the evening before."

Thing is, in order for your brain to process information in this hyper-efficient way, you need to smell your "familiar scent" both while you're learning something new and after you fall asleep. So tell your man to get in bed, plump up some pillows, and snuggle up with that 800-page Pynchon book you lied about reading during your freshman year. If he balks, just remind him you can always find a smellier guy to go out with!

Study Uncovers Memory Aid: A Scent During Sleep [NYTimes]
Earlier: More Proof That Men Are Evil