• Stern wasn't making a flip remark. Sports Illustrator writer Ian Thomsen explains he sent the question to Stern a week ago so he'd have time to think about it. Stern said he really believes it may happen, but "when you look at tennis, and this is the argument against me... As great as the women are, and actually in some cases I think their serves are served at a higher speed than men on the tour, like Serena's (Williams) first serve — you still get the sense that they wouldn't do well on the men's side of the tour... But in basketball, where it's a five-person game and you have zones and you can do a variety of other things — a fast person with a good shot that can play on the team? I think we could see it in the next decade or so ... I'll leave it to the real experts to talk about the muscle factor. But there's going to be a very strong woman who has all the moves, who's going to want to play, and she's going to be good." • If you're sipping from a can of Slim-Fast right now, drop it. Unilever is recalling 10 million cans of ready-to-drink products, regardless of flavor, "best-by" date, or lot code, because they may be contaminated with Bacilus cereus bacteria, which causes diarrhea, nausea, or vomiting. Customers should throw the cans out and contact the company for a refund. • A group of Danish prostitutes say they are offering free sex to delegates at the U.N. Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen to protest city officials asking 160 hotels not to arrange prostitutes for guests during the meeting. Copehnhagen Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard also wrote to the 500 delegates asking them not to take the prostitutes up on their offer. A representative for the women said: "It's completely discriminatory. Ritt Bjerregaard is abusing her position when she uses her power to prevent us from carrying out our legal work." •  A 33-year-old bouncer and ex-con has been charged with raping a woman in a Manhattan nightclub. Hunter Dupree allegedly cornered the victim, who was drunk and vomiting, in a bathroom stall. But Dupree's lawyer claims that she made it all up: "You never know who is going to come and say, 'He attacked me.'" •  Car safety experts from Virginia Tech University are hard at work developing a better seat belt for pregnant woman. They are in the process of creating a highly advanced model of the human body to use in testing. For now, experts advise pregnant women make sure the seat belt rests on the bony parts of the body, and that they sit as far from the steering wheel as possible. •  Sgt. Kimberly Munley became a hero when she helped bring down the shooter at Ford Hood, but Munley says her injuries will shorten her career. Officials say they have not yet begun the process of assessing whether or not her wounds will prevent her from rejoining her beat. •  A team of researchers have confirmed what the scientific community has long suspected: female researchers are greatly underrepresented on research articles. Women account for only 10-15% of authorship of the overall reports studied. One researcher suggests this may be because women have "other obligations that prevent them from dedicating so much to research." • Researchers had mothers complete frustrating tasks with each of their same-sex twins separately and found the moms whose negativity was most strongly linked with their child's challenging behavior had the poorest working memory skills. Having a stronger working memory allows parents to reason quickly, rather than lashing out at their kids. • New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate was sentenced today to three years probation and 250 hours of community service for injuring his companion by dragging her through the lobby of his apartment building. He had been accused of slashing her in the face with broken glass while in his apartment, but the judge said he couldn't prove her face was cut in an intentional attack. A Senate committee is still investigating whether to censure, suspend or expel Monserrate, who said he won't resign. • Former Senator Paula Hawkins, who became the first woman elected to a full Senate term without a family political connection in 1980, died today at 82. The Republican backed legislation that helped housewives find jobs after getting divorced and supported equalizing pension benefits for women by taking the years they spent caring for children into account. She also found to get day care for the children of Senate employees and and forced fellow senators to wear bathing trunks in the Senate gym so she could work out there too. • Jody Trautwein, the Alabama pastor who tries to talk Sacha Baron Cohen's character out of being gay in Bruno is running for mayor of Birmingham against 13 other candidates. An election is being held next week to replace Larry Langford, who was convicted of 60 felony counts in a bribery scheme. • The chestnut tree that was outside Anne Frank's window while she was hiding from the Nazis is dying, but today in Amsterdam, a sapling from the tree was planted in Amsterdamse Bos. Other saplings will be sent to schools around the world named after Frank and 11 locations in the U.S., including the White House and the September 11 memorial in New York. •

• M.I.A. on playing the role of spokesmodel, DJ and popular celeb sighting during NY Fashion Week: "Last year I wasn't let into the Marc Jacobs party and this year I own it!" Ah, groundedness. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• International Herald Tribune fashion critic and former MJ nemesis Suzy Menkes really liked this season's (punctual!) (we're still getting over that!!) Marc Jacobs show: "It was such a good show, I would've waited three hours for it." Tell that to Robin Givhan's dog, Suze. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• On a darker note, is Marc's mom in rehab? [NY Daily News]
  
• Spain is encouraging apparel manufacturers to start making clothing sizes for three distinct different body types: hourglass, pear, and cylinder. [NYT]

• Join the Rachel Hunter-faced "Style Your Slim" Slimfast program and automatically become part of the American Express fashion rewards program. Because a woman who commits to a lifetime of shakes for breakfast, lunch and a sensible dinner is definitely committing to a lifetime of clothing sizes that change every two months. Yay, money! [FabSugar]
• Loulou de la Falaise, onetime muse to Yves Saint Laurent, to shill costume jewelry for Home Shopping Network. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Comme des Garcons designer Rei Kawakubo has partnered with Speedo to design "the fastest swimsuit ever." [WWD, sub req'd]
• Showing her Red Label line in London clearly isn't activist enough for Vivienne Westwood, who has made encouraging English designers to show in their home country into a full-out political cause. Says Red Label managing director/Westwood mouthpiece Carlo D'Amario, "London has become the global reference point for creativity and never like now there is a need for a permanent platform for the promotion of dynamic British and European talent... I call on John Galliano, Alexander McQueen and Burberry among others to show their younger distribution lines here in London and unite to make London Fashion Week and London not only a centre for creativity but also for business." Talk about a rebel without a cause. [Vogue UK]
• Jezebel girl crush Tilda Swinton on her plans for Oscar fashion: "My pajamas! I'll be watching them from home." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Hush Puppies: Still around! [The Street]
• Revlon is reissuing its Kiss Me Coral lipstick after London-based designer Roksanda Ilinicic pulled the color from their archives to use in tomorrow's London fashion week show. Our grandmother will be so, um, "tickled"! [Vogue UK]
• How did unsigned unknown Argentinian singer-songwriter Lights nab a gig to do the soundtrack for all Old Navy's latest look-how-hip-we-are ads? Turns out some folks still use MySpace! [AdAge]

Needless to say, we are stunned. Is it even possible to sell ice cream and self-tanner without the help of an emaciated Estonian? Perhaps, but we are selling our shares in Unilever right after we finish this pint of Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone dream.

Unilever bans size zero models from its ads [Guardian]