• Robin Wright Penn has filed for divorce from Sean Penn due to "irreconcilable differences." They've already drawn up divorce papers twice before and announced their reconciliation in May.

• The papers say they've agreed to a division of their property and shared custody of their 16-year-old son (their 18-year-old daughter is starting college). [People]
• During her E! interview last night Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman said of Kate Gosselin, "I think she's a great mother, but she's definitely going for the sympathy card." She added, "TLC didn't allow [Jon and Kate] to come out and say their marriage was over a year ago." [Radar Online]
• In her segment on the E! special, Kate Major said of Jon, "I would be lying if I said there wasn't instant chemistry between us." As for their current relationship status she says, "Right now, there is no happily ever after," However, "[I was] really, really impressed-and I still am-with the person that he is." [E!]
• Kari Anne Peniche, the other girl involved in the Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart nude tape, says that her former roommate, singer Mindy McCready, found the video on her hard drive. Peniche says McCready stole the hard drive when she moved out of their apartment and that the trio won the rights to the video and are threatening to sue anyone who posts it on the internet. [TMZ, N.Y. Post]
• Kari Ann Peniche's rep says she's "extremely upset over this situation. She considers Eric and Rebecca dear friends and this is an unfortunate incident where consenting adults who were having a little a fun are now victims of having personal property stolen and private matters made public." Peniche, who is a former Miss United States Teen, appears in the upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew. [Entertainment Tonight]
• So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Alex Da Silva has been arrested on eight felony counts of assault, including four counts of forcible rape. The D.A. says there are four victims who were all dangers in Da Silva's classes. [TMZ]
• In this video, Dr. Conrad Murray thanks his patients and friends for their support. He says he recorded a video thank you because he's afraid to return phone calls and emails "because of all that is going on." [TMZ]
• This morning on Today Ann Curry suggested Brad Pitt should make a more kid-friendly movie than Inglorious Basterds. He said he's voicing a "superhero who wants out" in the movie Oobermind with Tina Fey. "It's just something [the kids will] enjoy," he said, "and that's cool." [People]
• Quentin Tarantino says of Inglourious Basterds, "Oh, I know it's going to do fantastic in Germany. People have the wrong idea of Germany. You have to remember that with the possible exception of Jews, the people that have the biggest bringing-down-the–Third Reich fantasies are the last two generations of the Germans." [N.Y. Magazine]
• New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says 50 Cent is no planning to perform in his old neighborhood in Queens. Earlier reports claimed city police were preparing for a 50 Cent concert on August 30. [UPI]
• An insider on the set of The Fighter says that for his role as a crack addict Christian Bale "has lost almost as much weight as he did for The Machinist. He is so gaunt... They have even thinned his hair-he just looks sickly." [E!]
• Nicole Kidman will appear on the special Project Runway: All Star Challenge on Thursday. [People]
• The ruling in Slash's lawsuit against a Sotheby's real estate agent has been delayed for a month because the judge says he needs more time to decide if the real estate agent misrepresented the a property Slash bought in 2006. [Daily Express]
• Joan Rivers is dating Norm Zada, founder of the adult magazine Perfect 10, which is dedicated to "the world's most beautiful natural women." [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony hosted a dinner last night in their Long Island home in honor of Sonia Sotomayor. [Gossip Cop]
• Sony's new ad campaign features celebrity "experts" including Peyton Manning, Justin Timberlake, and Amy Sedaris, giving customers advice on which electronics they should buy. [Brand Week]
• Now that Survivor winner Richard Hatch has been released to house arrest after being imprisoned for failing to pay taxes, he's claiming that he was only sent to jail because he's gay. The prosecutors say that's "delusional." [AP]
• Johnny Knoxville has been, "telling people that his girlfriend, Naomi [Nelson], is three months pregnant," says an insider. "He's excited - and a little nervous." [Just Jared]
• 19-year-old Mike Byrne has been chosen to replace drummer Jimmy Chamberlin in The Smashing Pumpkins after more than 1,000 drummers responded to an open call. [AP]
• The first single of Mariah Carey's new CD will be a "gospel-tinged version" of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." [ONTD]
• The Pussycat Dolls are canceling the first three dates of their tour with the Black Eyed Peas because Nicole Scherzinger has an ear infection. [All Business]
• Britney Spears will read David Letterman's Top 10 List tonight. [People]
• Shanna Moakler has agreed to let Travis Barker take their two kids on the road with him, but the custody papers say he has to arrange a vacation for her and the kids to Rhode Island at the end of the month. The papers also say the kids can't get near someone named Richard Sinnott "at any time whatsoever." [TMZ]
• A group of Russian gangsters are supposedly planning to kidnap Katie Price so she's taking her cage-fighter boyfriend Alex Reid with her to Spain. "The kidnap threat is a real worry and Kate feels much safer when Alex is around. He is a muscular man and a trained fighter who can watch her back at all times," says a source. "Kate's a tough woman but this is bound to really frighten her and convince her to take her boyfriend along for support. She will definitely feel much better having him on hand to double up as a bodyguard and scare off the mobsters." [Daily Star]
• In the clip at the link, a man takes parenting advice from Ryan O'Neal, who as you'll recall hit on his daughter, shot at one son, but bonded with the other while they were serving time for meth possession. [E!]
• A judge has ruled that Paris Hilton may have to pay back some of the $1 million she was paid to be in Pledge This!, but not the $8 million she's being sued for because it's not her fault it flopped. [AP]
• Mila Kunis says of Macaulay Culkin, her boyfriend of seven years, "I don't know if I met him at 27 if it would have been a different relationship... We grew up together. You find a steady rock in your life and that's all you need. We have our ups and downs, but work through them." [People]
• Joy Behar says of her new talk show The Joy Behar Show, "We're not going to cover depressing news. Well, we might, if someone interesting dies or something. You know, I'm following Nancy Grace, and she does a lot of crime stories, so maybe I'll pick up some of hers. She's interesting. The whole channel now - HLN - Headline News Network - is filled with divas. First is Jane Velez-Mitchell, then Nancy Grace, and then moi. The whole channel is like - how shall I say? - assertive women. It'll be fun." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kourtney Kardashian says it was hard for her to tell her sister Kim Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner that she's pregnant. She explains, "Khloe and I called Kim on speakerphone, and I made Khloe tell her. I think Kim thought we were lying! Kim was excited, but I feel like her first reaction was like, 'Why? What are you doing?' It was really just shock. Especially since we are so extremely close, anything that happens in our family is earth-shattering to us. But she was excited. She just wanted to make sure that I had thought this through." She told her 12 and 13-year-old half-sisters in person, and now one of them calls her "fatty" every time she sees her. [People]

• Bono's wife Ali Hewson is suing Stella McCartney over the title of her unreleased perfume, "Nude." Hewson, who also has a sustainable fashion brand, oversees Nude Skincare, and feels that McCartney's brand is too close to her own. [Daily Mail]

• More than 100 garment workers protested two New York apparel companies in support of six workers who allege they are owed over $500,000 in back pay, and that they were wrongfully fired. Union organizer Jei Fong said, "Long Island City is a sweatshop zone; these conditions are rampant and have only gotten worse through the years. Today we really want to make a stand. People need to demand better conditions; it's the only way for the garment industry to improve." The six workers allege that they were paid minimum wage, but that their employers deducted 5% from their pay, and failed to pay any overtime despite the fact that they often worked 100 hour weeks. All the workers were fired shortly after complaining about the pay and conditions to the National Labor Relations Board. [Crain's]
• Harper's Bazaar decided to rush out a Michael Jackson-themed fashion shoot in time for the current issue — and the model they picked was Agyness Deyn? There is also a monkey. Who's bad, indeed. [ONTD]
• It took Nicole Richie less than half of the actual human gestational period to conceive of and birth her maternity wear line for A Pea In The Pod. [WWD]
• Pierre Cardin owns the Marquis de Sade's castle. [NYTimes]
• We doubt that anyone is copying P.C. from NYC Prep's style. A white t-shirt, scarf and a cardigan is something he has a copyright on? Give us a fucking break, Paper magazine. [Stylelist]
• Jason Wu has announced the location of his Spring 2010 show — the opulent St. Regis hotel. [WWD]
• Why is it that every time one or two designers cycle through to something different than previous prevailing tastes — long skirts after a few seasons of minis, or in this case, flats after a few seasons of skyscraper 7" heels — fashion writers have to act as though it's tabula rasa time and WE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN? The heel is not "dead" just because Christopher Kane now things "boyish" flats are nice. Most women will continue wearing heels sometimes, and flats other times, depending on their mood, where they are going, and the rest of their outfit. [ToL]
• Leonardo DiCaprio is apparently smitten with model Anne Vyalitsyna. Meanwhile, recent ex Bar Refaeli has been spotted with polo player Ricardo Mansur, who happens to be an ex of Gisele Bundchen, who also dated Leo. And the circle is complete. [Sun]
• Because of a write-in campaign, Men's Wearhouse is canceling its advertising on the Glenn Beck program. [MediaMatters]
• Bloomingdale's is launching a major ad campaign highlighting its links to classic films. [NYTimes]
• Last month, Kelly Bensimon told the W magazine editors' blog, of her jewelry line, "I love Navajo and I love the idea of taking Pocahontas out of the kayak and putting her into the disco. Everyone knows that she's had enough in her little canoe and now she's out and having fun in the disco." Yesterday, Kelly Bensimon told StyleList "exclusively," of her jewelry line, "The bad thing about Pocahontas is that she's, like, in the kayaks. So I took her out of the kayak and into the disco so she could have a little fun." Conclusions: Nobody reads anymore, and the Internet will eventually eat itself. And Kelly Bensimon still does not apparently realize that Pocahontas lived her entire life without ever meeting any Navajo people, because they lived thousands upon thousands of miles apart. [StyleList]
• Molly Sims now has a jewelry line. (At this point, who doesn't?) [WWD]
• Point the first: We have not heard anything of Nia Long since her immortal turn as Lisa on Fresh Prince, so her inclusion in PETA's ancient "Rather Go Naked" campaign proves the animal rights organization is scraping the very bottom of the barrel. Point the second: We get that Nia Long doesn't much care for the fur, but she seems to have no problem with gasp-inducingly unrealistic media images of women. The Photoshop job on her ad is eye-popping. Point the third: This quote speaks for itself: "There's no difference, in my opinion, [between fur and] slavery or the Holocaust." [DListed]
• Twiggy is releasing an album of pop songs on September 14. [Modelinia]
• Amber Rose posed for a series of racy photos in Complex magazine. She also told the mag: "I always looked up to Slash from Guns N' Roses. I had every single poster of Slash in my room. It was crazy because I grew up in an all-black neighborhood and everybody I went to school with was black. I was the only biracial looking girl in my school, and Slash was biracial too, he was just a fucking rock star. I always wanted to play the guitar. I've tried, but other things came up." [ONTD]
• In yet another high-yield jewelry heist, two armed robbers hit up the Graff store on New Bond St. in London for $65 million worth of baubles. Forty-three items were stolen, and while the suited robbers fired two shots and briefly took a Graff worker hostage, nobody was injured. [NYTimes]
• For reasons unknown, Maybelline has made a calendar. [Fashionista]
• The "moderately priced" designer "bridge" category — home of labels like Tory Burch, Elie Tahari, and Eileen Fisher — is losing one of its biggest players, Ellen Tracy. Starting next spring, the brand is down-shifting to concentrate on lower-priced sportswear, where it'll roll with labels like Lauren by Ralph Lauren and Michael by Michael Kors. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, members-only online sample sale site Gilt today is launching a website where it will host sales of lower-priced lines, called Gilt Fuse. In running Gilt, chief executive Susan Lyne says, "What we discovered was that, one, even though we discount significantly on the brands we carry on Gilt [up to 70 percent], it's still expensive for [our customers]. A $200 or $150 dress is still a big purchase for them." So Gilt Fuse will exert similar discounts on merchandise that was a little cheaper to begin with. Revolutionary concept, really. [NYObs]
• Escada's proposed fund-raising bond exchange has failed because fewer than 80 percent of investors approved it within the given time frame. The company plans to file for bankruptcy this week. [WWD]
• Pakistan's textile industry is suffering because of the twin ills of political instability — even consistent electrical power is not assured — and the global credit crunch. An estimated 200,000 people have lost their jobs in the textiles sector during the past year. [Reuters]
• After cutting $70 million worth of costs from its balance sheet in the first quarter, Liz Claiborne's losses still increased during the second quarter of this year — so a second, $100 million, cost-cutting plan is to be put in place. [WSJ]
• Although the sale of bankrupt men's clothier Hartmarx to Emerisque Brands and SKNL North America has managed to save 2,400 jobs that otherwise might have been lost, three plants which were not part of the sale, finalized last week, are shuttered. About 525 employees at factories in Rock Island, Illinois, Anniston, Alabama, and Hamilton, Ontario have lost their jobs. Hartmarx owns the brands Hart Shaffner Marx and Hickey Freeman. [WWD]

• A smattering of guy-centric sites have decided that August 4 should be A Day Without Megan Fox:

A Megan Fox media blackout day. Which, of course, makes me want to talk about Megan Fox, say Megan Fox and just Megan Fox Megan Fox Megan Fox. [Gatecrasher]

• More info on A Day Without Megan Fox at the link, and, of course, an intro to the Twitter tag #NoMF. [Asylum]
• A family affair: Madonna's daughter Lourdes will be in Her Madgesty's music video for the single "Celebration." [ET]
• Meanwhile, Guy Ritchie is in Montenegro cavorting with 18-year-old twin models. [Daily Mail]
• If this is true, it is Epic: A Kevin Federline weight-loss reality show. [MSNBC]
• A second act for Courtney Love? She may be moving to New York's West Village and signing with a "youthful" NYC music agency which manages bands like Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco. [Observer]
• Chris Brown's "Forever" is in the iTunes top 10, thanks to that viral wedding video. [Reuters]
• Detectives and DEA agents seized cell phones and a hard drive from Dr. Conrad Murray's house yesterday, confirming suspicions that he is the target of a manslaughter investigation. [People]
• Michael Jackson may have used at least 19 aliases to get drugs; authorities are searching Dr. Conrad Murray's medical records for the names. [TMZ]
• "LAPD detectives and members of the L.A. County Coroner's office are gathering info on various doctors who treated Michael Jackson over the years." [TMZ]
• Tito Jackson says: "I had no clue of what was being done by his personal physician whatsoever… but I feel at times he was [encircled by enablers]." [ET]
• Michael Jackson's personal chef recalls the day MJ died — how Dr. Conrad Murray ran down the stairs screaming, "Go get Prince!" [Yahoo News via AP]
• Josh Hartnett moved out of his apartment and an eyewitness says it was kind of a mess: "Organic food everywhere … All that's left is trash and facial products and stuff." [Observer]
• Even Kim Kardashian's BFF Brittny Gastineau was surprised that KK and Reggie Bush broke up. "I loved them as a couple," she says. "They clicked well together." [People]
• Katy Perry thinks Katy Perry's fake Josh Grobin[sic] tattoo is hilar. [Gatecrasher]
• Eddie Izzard will run more than 1,000 miles around the UK in seven weeks — for charity. [The Sun]
• What will you be watching this fall? According on one research company: Jay Leno, Vampire Diaries, Glee and Cougar Town. [Reuters]
• Elizabeth Mitchell dishes about Lost, V, and Sawyer, at the link. [E!]
• Johnny Knoxville: Officially divorced. [Extra]
• "Rachel Weisz sizes up her beefy co-star." [Telegraph]
• Whoa: Bryce Dallas Howard joins the Twilight cast for the Eclipse film, replacing Rachelle Lefevre as the character of Victoria. Not a sparkle vamp fan? All you need to know is this red-haired bloodsucker builds an army. [Variety]
• Charlize Theron will will produce, develop and star in an adaptation of Christopher Buckley's satirical novel Florence of Arabia. (Plot: A State Dept. employee {Charlize} watches her friend marry the prince of a Middle Eastern country and subsequently get executed, then fights for equal rights for the women of that country.) [Variety]
• From a description of Animal Fair magazine's 10th Annual Paws for Fashion Show: "Real Housewife Jill Zarin carried her tiny Chihuahua, whose red neckerchief matched her gown, and America's Next Top Model Jaslene Gonzalez and her Chihuahua wore Nina Ricci." [Observer]
• Slash and Steven Adler were both granted a restraining order yesterday against a woman who sounds a little… off. [TMZ]
• Prepare to weep: In a study of 5,000 children between the ages of 6 and 15, one in 20 picked former Boom Town Rats singer Bob Geldof instead of Sir Isaac Newton when asked to name the man who discovered gravity. A quarter did not know William Shakespeare wrote King Lear and nearly two thirds did not know when the slave trade was abolished in Britain. One in 20 were under the false impression that Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice was written by JK Rowling. [Telegraph]
• ANTM's CariDee English and Semi Precious Weapons frontman Justin Tranter: Makeout sesh in a pool. [Page Six]
• Q: In one scene the female character saws through her husband's leg, and in another the male character ejaculates blood. Is this the darkest film you've ever made? A: "Yeah, it could be. [Pause.] Yeah, yeah. Probably. What am I going to do now? I have no idea." — From a Q & A with Lars Von Trier, on his film, Antichrist. [Time]
• Blind item! "Which hard-partying rockette has so few friends that she calls up her publicist for lengthy four-hour chats every day?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I've butted heads with Ann Coulter many times on TV and I enjoy that. I want it to be a conglomeration of different opinions. I want guests to disagree with me, with each other, and have spirited debates. Not just about politics. I'm interested in everything, except sports and I'm interested in sports if there's an issue involved — rather than, you know, batting averages. [But no yelling.] Even on The View when it gets like that, it gives me a headache." — Joy Behar, on her new talk show for HLN. [LA Times]
• "Personally I think that's one of the most depressing things about the film industry generally today. The writers and directors should be blamed just as much as the studios because really everything seems to be a remake or adapting a 1970s TV show that was never particularly good. Why anyone thinks that it would be a good feature film now, you know, goodness knows why. And I guess it's easy to say it's security that you know a studio is only prepared to put $150 million or $200 million into something if it's a known quantity. But at the same time I'm also aware that audiences are getting fed up with the lack of original ideas and original stories. And if you look back to the great days of Star Wars and Indiana Jones and those sorts of movies, they weren't based on TV shows, they weren't based on comics. They were inspired by them and they had DNA in them which came from years of Flash Gordon and various things in the past but nonetheless they were original. And yet we seem to be incapable as a general industry, which includes not just the studios but the filmmakers and writers and directors, we seem to be incapable of doing that now for some reason. It's a little bit depressing." — Peter Jackson, who is promoting a film called District 9. [LA Times]
• "If one more 'journalist' makes a cavalier statement about me and my band, I will personally or with my fans' help, greet them at their home and discover just how much they believe in their freedom of speech. I dare you all to write one more thing that you won't say to my face. Because I will make you say it. In that manner. That is a threat." — Marilyn Manson. [Page Six]
• "I had a great time when I was young and still feel youthful. But I've no desire still to look as if I'm in my 20s. I don't want to look in the mirror and see The Joker from Batman staring back." — Kim Cattrall won't be getting plastic surgery. [Daily Express]
• "Some people are really passionate about film and some just want to be stars. I'm more interested in film." — Beastie Boy Adam Yauch, who will continue to work with his film company, Oscilloscope Laboratories, despite having cancer of the salivary gland. [Financial Times]
• "I think at first it was odd for the fans when I came on board. There was a question of whether I was going to kind of try to bring some amped up macho mentality … I wouldn't even know how to do that. I think I'm pretty fem. I have a lot of estrogen." — Chris Weitz, director of the next Twilight film, New Moon. [Time]
• Kid Rock does not like Twitter: "It's gay. If one more person asks me if I have a Twitter, I'm going to tell them, 'Twitter this shit, motherfucker.'" [Page Six]

[Hollywood, October 19. Image via Splash.]

• Amy Winehouse is doing fine, says her spokesman, whom she pays to say such things. Despite tabloid rumors, she is not on a suicide watch. [People]
• Also, Amy's mom says Amy is a good influence on her goddaughter, Dionne, who wants to be a singer. [Daily Express]
• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman: Back on. [People]
• Michelle Rodriguez was staying at a fancy hotel in Coconut Grove, FL but she must have had a fight with the ladyfriend she was traveling with: Guests heard two women yelling at 9am Sunday morning and one saw Michelle in the hallway, banging on the door, hollering, "If you don't open up, you're not getting your [pleasure toy] back." Then the door creaked open. [Rush & Molloy]
• Nick Nolte suffered smoke inhalation and abrasions during a fire at his home in Malibu. The blaze seems to have started in the bedroom due to an electrical problem, and when firefighters arrived Nolte was trying to put it out himself with a garden hose. [UPI, AP]

• Travis Barker is still in a burn center in an L.A. hospital. His condition has been "up and down." [E!]
• Travis tells Us Weekly: "I hate planes. My biggest fear ever is to be involved in a plane crash, so when that happened… well, I'm just thankful to be alive! I'm just grateful to be here at all. I am doing the best I can possibly be. I'm so anxious to get out of here. I've just been in surgery after surgery. I have third-degree burns basically from my feet up to my waist and both hands. One of my hands has second-degree burns and one has third-degree burns. I'm trying to have a quick recovery and play the drums again and be able to hold my kids again." [AP]
• Britney Spears may have to go to trial over driving without a valid license. This case stems from an August 2007 charge after she hit a parked car and left the scene. [USA Today]
• Jennifer Lopez and Leah Remini were attached at the hip at the Elle Women In Hollywood event: They even held hands when they went to the bathroom together. And yeah, Leah is a Scientologist. [E!]
• Natalie Portman has discovered microloans through Queen Rania of Jordan and says she's learning to curb her "accumulation mentality." When "you meet people who have one shirt," it makes you stop and think, Natalie says. "If I have 40 shirts, why would I ever buy anything more?" [Newser]
• It's official: Salma Hayek will be on 30 Rock, maybe shooting in the next few days. That show is the new Love Boat. [E!]
• Kanye West to Ellen: "You have really great style." [People]
• Ted Casablanca on Kanye and Ellen: "It's really refreshing to see a tough rapper so at home with the gay stuff." El oh el at "tough." [E!]
• Billy Ray Cyrus calls Miley's boyfriend, 20-year-old Justin Gaston, "a good kid." This was the one with the bible, you'll recall. [People]
• Meanwhile, a Hannah Montana co-creator is suing Disney over a percentage of the profits from licensed merchandise. Up against The Mouse in court? Good luck! [Perez Hilton]
• Penn Badgley, aka Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl, has a crush on Parker Posey. [NY Mag]
• Josh Kelley is "always trying to impress" Katherine Heigl, if you care. [People]
• Eva Longoria will be a guest judge on Project Runway, not that we know when it will ever come back. [ONTD]
• Paris Hilton gets presidential advice from fake prez Matin Sheen. [Funny Or Die]
• Madonna wore Clark Kent-style specs at her NYC concert, and this Brit tab accuses her of stealing them from Lourdes. [The Sun]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal will be shilling Duracell batteries by becoming the spokesperson for the Power A Smile campaign, in which young ambassadors to deliver gifts to patients in children's hospitals this holiday season. [BrandWeek]
• Speaking of Gyllenhaals: Maggie and Jake's parents are calling it quits after decades of marriage. Does anyone stay together? Ever? [Perez Hilton]
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are reportedly househunting in London. Sigh. [Daily Express]
• Jamie Lynn Spears and her baby daddy Casey Aldridge are on the cover of OK! magazine with the cover line "I'm No Cheater." More on this in Midweek Madness… [Perez Hilton]
• Scarlett Johansson wears red white and blue on the kookily patriotic cover of CosmoGirl!. [PopSugar]
• Bad news for Eddie Izzard fans: The Riches has been canceled. [UPI]
• Could The View win an Emmy if Elisabeth Hasselbeck left? [LA Times]
• Janet Jackson may or may not have vertigo. [Perez Hilton]
• Lily Allen may have a new man, since she was photographed in the vicinity of some random dude. [The Sun]
• The Iranian actress in Leo DiCaprio's new flick, Body Of Lies says: "I had a lot of problems because of this movie. (Iranian officials) took my passport. The intelligence service interrogated me several times. In the end, the judge said, 'We have to see the movie and then decide what we're going to do with you.'" She is afraid to go home to Iran and is living in France with her husband since the incident. [Daily Express]
• Whee! Slash action figure! [UPI]
• There's a picture of Paul McCartney in a McDonald's in Liverpool, but he's been a vegetarian for 30 years. Sir Paul is pissed. [The Sun]
• A bouncer asked Stephen Dorff to smoke outside and he yelled, "Do you want a piece of me? You don’t know who you’re messing with." Yeah, probably not. You're an actor, right? [The Sun]
• A post-divorce Bill Murray is looking for renewal. He says when his ex-wife filed papers alleging that he abused her and was addicted to alcohol and marijuana, "That was devastating. That was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my entire life." [AP]
• The new Bond girl was born with six fingers on each hand. [Newser]
• Dancing With The Stars' Derek Hough is living with girlfriend Shannon Elizabeth — as is his entire band. [People]
• Love, LOVE this artwork for Cadillac Record, starring Adrien Brody, Jeffrey Wright and Beyoncé. [Concrete Loop]
• Things you never wanted to know about Rob Lowe's nanny: She allegedly only dates black guys because of their cocks. She bragged that her boyfriend's penis was "the second largest black cock in the NBA.'" [TMZ]
• Brody Jenner has found "the one" and she is a 22-year-old Playmate named Jayde Nicole, of course. [Perez Hilton]
• "I'm not the ... pervert that I've been painted to be." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex, to Barbara Walters in an interview that will air Friday on ABC's 20/20. [People]
• "[Society wants women] on anti-depressants so they are no longer creative or fierce. They dull your rage. People don't like angry women so they say, 'We're going to have to drug that bitch to get her to shut up. We will humiliate her and disenfranchise her, but first she has to shut up.'" — Roseanne Barr. [Guardian]
• "She calls herself feminist but she's not. She's a careerist. I had a time in my life too when I didn't stay at home with my kids because I was on a bigger mission. She'll pay for it later though. She'll get her karma… In the 60s we used to say if a woman ruled the world there would be no war. But that's not right. What we mean is a thinking, conscious woman, and there's no place for any of us in this world. To make it in a man's world takes a certain kind of woman. Sarah Palin is the kind of woman they want right now." — Roseanne Barr. [Guardian]
• "By denying the responsibility of man in global warming, by advocating gun rights and making statements that are disconcertingly stupid, you are a disgrace to women and you alone represent a terrible threat, a true environmental catastrophe." — Brigitte Bardot, in a letter to Sarah Palin and John McCain. [Yahoo News]
• "In my opinion, Stephen King is without question our greatest writer. No one tells a better story than Stephen… I set out to write a good story with The Notebook, one that would sell 10 million copies and make me rich… and I did." — Nicholas Sparks. [Page Six]
• "Posh doesn't strike me as particularly stylish. I don't think she's a good example of British style at all." — Mischa Barton. [The Sun]
• "I won't respond to that. That doesn't even deserve the dignity of a response. I don't know the details of that. It is absolutely ridiculous… This from the Guardian? I don't believe it! It is insulting that you would even bring it up! My God… I turned down the Mail to do this!" —Faye Dunaway, on the rumor that she threw a cup of urine in Roman Polanski's face when the director refused to allow bathroom breaks on the set of Chinatown. [Guardian, via NY Mag]

[Consumer Electronics Show, Las Vegas; January 6. Image via AP.]

[LAX, January 3. Images via Bauer-Griffin]

• Marina Batkis of Mutts And Moms, the organization that took back the dog Ellen gave to her hairdresser's kids, says she has received numerous death threats. But she's not backing down. "If Ellen wants to place dogs and decide what's a good home, then she should start her own rescue group," she says. "But I'm the one doing this and I know what I'm doing." Arf! [Yahoo News]
  
• Meanwhile, Iggy the dog is with a new family. "The whole situation is surreal," says Ellen. [People]
  
• Wanna see some video of what happened Sunday when the dog was taken? And the aftermath? [TMZ]
  
• Ben Affleck skipped a screening of the movie he directed, Gone Baby Gone, to watch the Red Sox lose. [Page Six]
  
• We're not saying it runs in the family, but Lindsay Lohan's uncle, Matthew Sullivan, was busted for DWI and drugs. Sullivan was stopped by state troopers on Long Island and was allegedly drunk and in possession of marijuana. [Page Six]

• Lindsay's boyfriend's former fiancée, Bree Tierney, says her engagement ring from Riley Giles was cubic zirconia — but she didn't know until she took it to a jeweler. [Gatecrasher, 2nd item]
• Blind item! "Which larger-than-life TV personality, who is all confidence on camera, is known to sob that nobody likes her as she downs her breakfast of Snickers bars?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Slash's new memoir includes information about how he did so many drugs he had hallucinations of being attacked by little gremlins in the shower — so he punched the glass door until his hands bled. Rock and roll! [Rush & Molloy]
• A man is suing the Artist Currently Known As Prince, claiming the musician stole hard drives from him. This is what it sounds like when drives cry? [TMZ]
• Ryan Gosling says he's glad he made the movie The Notebook because he met ex-girlfriend Rachel McAdams. "It introduced me to one of the great loves of my life. But people do Rachel and me a disservice by assuming we were anything like the people in that movie. Rachel and my love story is a hell of a lot more romantic than that." He's so hot. [People]
• Fans have accused Kirsten Dunst of not having the "edge, quirkiness or charisma" to play Debbie Harry in a biopic. But Debbie Harry says, "She's just a sweetie. She's probably capable of a lot of things she hasn't been asked to do yet, and doing something that's sort of left-of-center would be great for her". [Independent]
• John Goodman has checked out of Promises Treatment Center in Malibu. Not that anyone knew he was there in the first place! [Yahoo News]
• Oprah had thyroid problems, first hyperthyroidism, then hypothyroidism, she's announced. "We often need a malfunction to appreciate all the things that function." A month in Hawaii set her straight. We want one too. [E!]
• Heather Mills is in "absolute agony" after a metal plate in her pelvis broke. She could face surgery. [Mirror]

• Britney Spears turned herself into the LAPD last night to be booked on her August 6 hit-and-run charge. (You'll recall that while trying to park her car, she hit a parked car, examined the damage, made a pouty face and then walked away. Photographers documented the whole thing.) She was at the police station for 45 minutes, during which she was fingerprinted and photographed, then released. [TMZ]
  
• But before she was booked, she put on a pink wig, sat in her car and posed for photographers, of course. [The Sun]
  
• Natalie Portman gave Julia Roberts a necklace that read "Cunt" after they finished the film Closer because they used so many "dirty words" in the movie. Later, Julia gave Natalie one that read "Lil Cunt." How sweet! [Rush & Molloy]

• Jimmy Kimmel will be flying to New York City every day to guest-host "Live With Regis and Kelly" and then flying back to L.A. to host his own late night show, which is just a fucking ridiculous idea. Seriously. [Rush & Molloy, 9th from bottom]
• Two scantily-clad women were seen screaming at the front desk of the Shore Club Hotel in Miami because they'd spent the night in Derek Jeter's penthouse and were charged for parking. The nerve! [Page Six]
• Hilary Swank will star in a biopic about Amelia Earheart. [Page Six]
• Two women who had claimed that they were taped without permission for Joe Francis' Girls Gone Wild have recanted and issued an apology. Francis remains in jail in Nevada for his tax problems. [Page Six]
• Linda Evangelista gave birth a year ago and said the father was a "New York architect." But is it really François-Henri Pinault, the president of PPR (Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent)? You know, the man engaged to Salma Hayek and the father of her 1-month-old daughter? [Page Six]
• Is Gossip Girl star Chance (Nate Archibald) Crawford dating American Idol Carrie Underwood? Do you give a shit? [Page Six]
• In his memoir, Guns N' Roses star Slash writes that he spent his time on the road in the '80s "in and out of a variety of VD clinics." Lovely. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which teenage brother of hard-partying siblings is following in the family tradition? Visibly drunk at an L.A. nightclub on Saturday, he alarmed pals by vomiting later at a party in the Hollywood Hills, where he had been taken by his sister. And he was just off the plane from boarding school!" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Lindsay Lohan is back in L.A. to work on her next film, Dare To Love Me. Hopefully she's staying away from some of her old "friends." [People]
• Colin Farrell has revealed that his son suffers from a rare neuro-genetic disorder called Angelman Syndrome, characterized by developmental delay, speech impairment, movement or balance disorder, excessive laughter and even seizures. "The only time I'm reminded that there is something different about him — that he has some deviation of what is perceived to be normal — is when I see him with other 4-year-olds. Then I go, 'Oh yeah,' and it comes back to me," Farrell says. "But from day one I felt that he's the way he's meant to be." [People]
• Jorja Fox is leaving CSI. "There are all these things I want to do. Some are personal. Some are professional," she says. Any fans here? [E!]