skymall - Jezebel

posts about #skymall more →
Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
Zombie Trend Remains Undead
8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone
More SkyMall: The Mile-High Commerce Club
SkyMall: Shopping The Friendly Skies For Pointless Products

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lucystrawberry: Tier 2 is the new black
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
There is nothing better in the world than skymall. Every year I try and convince my entire family to have a Christmas where we only give presents from Sky Mall.
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willwriteforfood
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
Jenna, I love that you load up the iPod with Wait Wait and This American Life - I do that too, and then never feel like listening to them.

I have a soft spot for American Airlines' inflight mag ever since I found out they started the Faux Faulkner writing contest.
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meritxell: an erotic life
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
You guys have to read this hilarious "ode" to SkyMall (comes in 3 parts):

[progressiveboink.com]
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randomnessish
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
All I need is an Ambien, although, of course, when the plane's engine inevitably fails, or we crash into shark-infested waters, or the top of the plane rips off, or a hurricane causes it to tailspin into the Andes, I'd like to have all my wits about me. Although, come to think of it, maybe I don't...
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labeled
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
Damn recession. I haven't been on a plane since 2004.
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LaMorenita
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
Spanish airline magazines are the best and weirdest. On a Vueling flight, I read an article about attractions in Malaga. Alright, go to the beach, check out this bar etc etc. Then, it suggested I go on a pirate boat tour where I could have an orgy. I even checked the English side to make sure I was reading correctly. Yes, an orgy. It described the flailing limbs and appeal of anonymity that take place in the hull of this pirate tourist boat. It was recommended for the not faint of heart, and non-jealous among us.

In the SAME issue, there was something about enjoying the simple pleasures of life. one was checking out new asian restaurants that have opened as Spain has recently had a large influx of Asian immigrants. Basically, this article proclaimed that Asians (no specific country mentioned) have a perfect scam worked out because the hapless Spaniard doesn't know if that's salmon or DOG in their sushi, but they'll buy it anyway, just as they love the cheap asian markets.

Because! "slant eyes are slant eyes and big noses are big noses." I wish I were kidding. Oh, Spain, i also wish I were surprised by your blatant racism. sigh.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ promoted this comment Edited by LaMorenita at 10/05/09 5:34 PM LaMorenita was starred LaMorenita was unstarred

Rooo sez BISH PLZ
10/05/09

@LaMorenita: "Oh, Spain, i also wish I were surprised by your blatant racism."

Please don't flash me back to the Olympics. I love Pau Gasol (though not as much as I love Rafa, another whole issue set) and I don't remember the last time I was so embarrassed.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
I am rolling with laughter and dreaming of new worlds.
Also terribly pleased to see that someone of your wit and well-traveled knowledge shares my Skymall-stealth-browsing, ah, habits? Tendencies? I feel terribly validated.
Nice to see your byline, Jenna.
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Newsgirl
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
SkyMall rocks my life. I fantasize about the day I see someone using this on an airplane: [www.skymall.com]
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badmutha
10/05/09

@Newsgirl: I have seen this in real life, and it looks just like you would think. I was a little jealous.
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Lolita Hazed
10/05/09

@Newsgirl: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT. Oh my Lord, every time I read SkyMall, I dream of meeting a billionaire who owns EVERYTHING in that damn catalog. Michael Jackson's Neverland wouldn't have shit on that guy's house.
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Newsgirl
10/05/09

@badmutha: All snuggly and covered in drool and sort of squeaky? Cause that's what I imagine. I also imagine it smells like a pool toy.
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badmutha
10/05/09

@Newsgirl: I didn't get close enough to smell it, because I have a sensitive stomach and funky smells can set me off, but I think it was kind of drool-y.
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Newsgirl
10/05/09

@Lolita Hazed: I dream of BEING that billionaire! How cool would that be? I'd have fake zombies crawling out of my garden and a crossword puzzle mural and this: [www.skymall.com]
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FattyCatty
10/05/09

@Newsgirl: I've been dropping hints about this: [www.skymall.com] for years.
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Lolita Hazed
10/05/09

@Newsgirl: NO ONE would fuck with you if you had that on your wall!
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Lolita Hazed
10/05/09

@FattyCatty: Oh, and that is MIND-BLOWING.
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awhellsnaw
10/05/09

@Newsgirl: A friend of mine has that and used it as she sat next to me on a flight. I was filled with pure green jealousy because it really was just as awesome as it seems.
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badmutha
10/05/09

@FattyCatty: So would that go in the front yard or the back?
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badmutha
10/05/09

@awhellsnaw: I'm serious. Those pillows look comfortable!
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BytheSea
10/05/09

@Newsgirl: I think it would take the madness of King George to use that thing. Plu, it would take half the flight to inflate it.
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awhellsnaw
10/05/09

@BytheSea: You have to have the right attitude to bust a pillow like that out because its true, you spend a good 30 minutes inflating the darn thing before you can use it. Also, your entire seat space is filled so its best to use in a window seat. My friend had the aisle and I was effectively trapped. She also had the satin sleep sack from skymall - a fancy thin sleeping bag so your body never has to actually touch a hotel room's bedding. One day when I'm not broke.....
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Newsgirl
10/05/09

@awhellsnaw: I am SO jealous!
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Newsgirl
10/05/09

@FattyCatty: I bet that makes for better home security than an alarm system.
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badmutha
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
But, but, the Sky Mall thingy is where I found the seat cushion with charcoal in it that neutralizes your farts so you don't stink up the board room in meetings. I have a very sensitive stomach.
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Edited by badmutha at 10/05/09 5:14 PM badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred

Newsgirl
10/05/09

@badmutha: But where's the fun in that?!
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
10/05/09

@badmutha: I think everyone who works in an office should be required to carry one. Like a laptop, it should just be de rigueur.
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badmutha
10/05/09

@Newsgirl: I try to think of the olfactory annihilation of my co-workers.
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Newsgirl
10/05/09

@badmutha: That's very thoughtful. My coworkers burp and release other bodily functions heartily all day long, so that would be a nice change!
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boxspelunker
10/05/09

@badmutha: THAT IS MUTHAFUCKING EPIC

OMG I want one, just so I can say I have a fart neutralizer.
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Antrack
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
This is funny, because I thoroughly enjoyed reading AirTran's inflight magazine just yesterday. I wasn't sure, though, if the magazine was actually good or if it was just good compared to the rest of the horror that was my AirTran experience.
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badmutha
10/05/09

@Antrack: That sounds like the beginning of a really scary book. "The AirTran Horror"
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sybann
10/05/09

In reply to Inflight Magazines: A Love Letter
I LOVE SkyMall - my CD shelving came from that catalog - I could never find anything BIG enough...
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HeinzDoofenshmirtz
04/30/09

In reply to Zombie Trend Remains Undead
Oh, another thing, I get how people here (in the States) are scared of zombies and everything, but try living in Nigeria where people really really believe in that shit and regularly report sightings of zombies (they go by a different name) + the scary ass movies that feature them = me not being able to sleep at all even till now whenever I hear someone I know died.
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badmutha
04/30/09

In reply to Zombie Trend Remains Undead
What is with you people and wanting the Zombie trend to die? Don't you know that you have to take off the head to kill a Zombie? So,do we search for the head of the Zombie nation, or simply kill every Zombie in the world? Both of these are untenable solutions, so I am going to the pub. Any takers?
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zu_zu
04/30/09

In reply to Zombie Trend Remains Undead
Gah with the zombies, this has lasted longer than pirates and vampires. How do we kill this trend exactly?
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Samanthrax
04/30/09

@zu_zu: Decapitation.
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mepo - Robert Cornhole invented it
04/30/09

@zu_zu: Shoot it in the head.
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pureblarney
04/30/09

In reply to Zombie Trend Remains Undead
Design Toscano is AWESOME!
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