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New York, 7:12 PM
Mon Dec 21
44 posts in the last 24 hours
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08/22/09
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******* Hortense, how I cry for you. When brides get obsessive about their wedding, sometimes they just don't care to ask if their bridesmaids are comfortable wearing the dress they picked.
Also, I would give these women a firm voice, get your dress a size up, take it from them, then find your own woman to do alterations. Perhaps even 2 sizes up. That way you will have plenty of fabric to work with, which can be used to add an extra ruffle, seem, hidden zipper, act somewhat like a layer or corset underneath etc.
For example, on the front of the dress it would look so much better if 2 seems were sewn in underneath the breast area rather then just be flat. I added a pic. This would go unnoticed by the bride yet look sooooo much better. They can be sown in as the pic shows, or go into a "V" under the bust. Gawker wont let me edit the full image about what I meant with the seems but you have the full link below.
[pattisoriginals.files.wordpress.com]
Also, if those poofy sleeves are too much, you can reduce them greatly to flatter you.
BUT having the waist end at the hip area is very unflattering. I suggest making it higher to so the V hits somewhere on your natural waist.
Most of all, you want to ensure the dress does not make you look bigger, rather it gives you more of an hour glass figure. You can wear a spanx cincher that goes from the thigh to under the bust. Get it in a larger size so it is not that uncomfortable. I don't know where the zipper is but if its not good, putting a better one in would come in handy.
You can do all of this with in 2 months from the wedding and just find a seamstress 3 months in advance.
Also, I think a silver shoe would go quite well. Do you know where to get the most comfy heals that can be worn all night? That are can be ordered in many widths and different heal heights? They are ballroom dancing shoes.
Perhaps something like this?
[www.ballroomdancingshoe.com]
Or something strappier?
[www.ballroomdancingshoe.com]
So what is the end of all of this? Get excited about your accessories. Your purse. Perhaps an up-do with your hair with beautiful braiding, little flowers or jeweled clips done in your hair? Here are some super examples [thebridesheart.com]
Get exited about planning around the dress and making it fitted right for you in May 2010!
08/22/09
But the only way to get a properly fitted garment is to either alter it yourself, which takes a lot of experience (don't believe those who tell you sewing is quick to learn; proper sewing takes time for trial and error and success). Or, you can go to a proper seamstress, who knows what she is doing and will charge quite a bit. Or, you can get it done at a shop, where it will be cheaper, because the salespeople may or may not be trained in fit and cut, the seamstresses may or may not be good, and it will all take time, because they have so much to alter.
Look, there's no excuse for rude salespeople who should know better. There's no excuse for putting the event symbolizing the concept above the concept. There's no excuse for brides who think they can put their bridesmaids in ugly dresses because somehow it will make the bride look better (it doesn't; it makes the bride look like a shallow bitch) But altered clothing takes time and fittings, and a proper seamstress can do this without being triggering, without being rude, without being stupid, and with kindness and understanding. Don't hate the whole thing just because there are a lot of idiots out there who don't know their own product and the fact that their own product has fucked up sizing, like every other product.
I certainly don't mean to be dismissive of the pain and anger a lot of women go through when dealing with idiotic sales people and "fitters". It's awful that so many idiots work in a business that should be full of positive energy and understanding, and not jugdgy-ness, ignorance, and meanness.
08/22/09
If I get married and have a wedding, I'll let the bridesmaids choose their own dress in a certain color and I'll probably pay for it. I mean, if I'm asking them to participate, I should cover the cost.
08/22/09
08/22/09
If i were my friends bridesmaid, and I had to fork out loads of money for a hideous dress I would only ever wear once, then quite frankly, I'd back down. I expect more from my friends than to make me pay and wear an awful dress that i wouldnt be comfortable in.
08/23/09
08/22/09
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08/23/09
08/22/09
Srsly though, that phrase had my stoned ass going, "Wait. Wut?" I think I am missing something here.
08/23/09
08/22/09
My brother got married a few years ago. His now-wife is a skinny, boobless little thing. The bridesmaids: Her sister, who's about eight inches taller and several inches bustier than the bride; her cousin, who's normally skinny and boobless but was due to have a baby about a month before the wedding; and me. I'm... pretty curvy, with a particular emphasis on the top.
I told the bride, "Please, no strapless. And halters might not be such a good idea, either."
Wanna guess what two choices she picked out? Right: Strapless and halter. "You can choose! And they're both available in plus sizes for you and my sister!" she exclaimed.
So, six months before the wedding, I go to David's bridal. I ask for the halter first, taking a guess at the size. As the wedding was scheduled for a Sunday morning, I figured it would be on the less-extravagant side. Nope: Full-length satin ball gown, royal blue with beading all over. I put it on and stepped out of the fitting room.
"That's a bit... cleavagey," the salesperson said, quite diplomatically considering it looked like I had two beach balls squeezed together on the front of my chest. Nothing to do with the dress size - it was the style. I sighed and asked for the strapless.
They only had the size larger than the one I thought I needed. I stuck with it, figuring I could get it altered.
And then I had to go out and find something to support my DDD breasts. This entailed schlepping the dress to a specialty store 40 miles away and shelling out for the only longline bra that didn't show over the dress. It's the ugliest piece of underwear I've ever seen, designed only to hold 'em in and strap 'em down.
I tried on the undergarment and dress a few weeks before the wedding. I'd gained weight in some places and lost it in others, but by that point I was so fed up with the whole endeavor that I decided that since the dress was neither cutting off my airways nor falling off, it would do.
The morning of the wedding, the bride sipped champagne and gawked as the three of us helped each other figure out our undergarments and do up countless little hooks and eyes. That only left her mother to help with the bridal gown. She and her mother do not get along. I wished I were in my brother's party: They were drinking Scotch.
The guests told me I looked nice. "It's a very humane dress color, isn't it?" I'd say, trying to shake off the leaves that still clung to the hem. (It wasn't just a morning wedding. It was an outdoor morning wedding.) In some of the pictures, I look fine; in most, it looks like I'm tangled up in a bolt of blue satin.
The bride promised I'd be able to wear the dress after the wedding. And I'm planning on pulling it out, alright... for my future one-woman show.
08/22/09
My BFF the bride looked a bit alarmed when I undressed and said, "Honey, you really need to put some weight back on." (She was allowed to say this because she was completely right and she knew why I was so thin).
I told her that I was on Klonopin and that was helping and I would hopefully have gained back (a number of) pounds by her wedding.
The little sales brat at Selia Yang looked at me, sighed and said, "Oh, I just WISH I had that problem."
It's a good thing I had just popped the Klonopin, or I would have choked a bitch. The bride was so disgusted that we left and she got the dresses from Vera Wang instead.
(and Hortense, you get my undying love for "In my head because it swells from banging it against my desk over conversations like this.")
08/22/09
And I'm glad that she doesn't care that I have a lot of very visible tattoos, because I know a lot of people would frown on that in their wedding pictures.
08/22/09
08/22/09
But in thinking about it and my own experiences with size/weight/numbers, this is what confuses me: I'm happiest when the people around me are happy as well. Should I ever get married, my bridesmaids are going to pick their own dresses and avoid this weird, let's-buy-the-dress-months-in-advance horror, if only because: a wedding is the legal and social codification of an already-known fact ("We love each other and plan to spend as far into forever as we can see together"). This is not new information -- we're just celebrating it with good drinks and in fun clothes (or with fun drinks in good clothes, whatever). I want the people around me to be able to enjoy the party I'm throwing to, basically, announce what they already know: that I'm in love, that I've found the person I'm going to hang with for a damn long time, etc. Beyond that, what the fuck do I care if one of my friends wants to show up in bedazzled leggings? My best friend stomps around in American Apparel rompers and I think she looks fly as hell because: (1) she totally does (bitch can wear ANYTHING); and (2) she's in her groove, she's happy, and she's lit from within.
I mean, really, at a celebration about love and commitment, what could look better on your nearest and dearest than a genuine smile and no stress?
08/22/09
Of course the dress wasn't long enough, even with the tall size ordered, but that's another story...
08/22/09
Or you could always, you know, just refuse to buy into this kind of bullshit.
08/22/09
08/22/09
08/22/09
Maid of honor then proceeded to make an excessively detailed itinerary for MY wedding. When she got married, not only were there multiple itineraries, but the bridesmaid dress was $389.00 (which I consider expensive, given my wedding dress was about that much) and hideous. We called it the Fish-net Butt-Duster. Oh, and she wanted to invite tons of people to her shower, even though she knew they wouldn't come, so she could get gifts.
Now, I get to do the baby shower.
08/22/09
08/22/09
One of my parents was getting remarried. The soon-to-be new stepparent (not much older than myself) shipped out my bridesmaid dress to me, as I lived about 2000 miles away only 2 weeks before the actual wedding. I open the box and discover a aqua beaded affair with a slit up to the knish and no back whatsoever other than a ton of beaded strappy things. Oh, the kicker? She ordered it in a size that was about 4 sizes too big for me. Recall that I said she sent it out only 2 weeks before the wedding. It is a very uncomfortable amount of money to get a dress that, due to the nature of the strappy things, must actually FIT altered downwards in 10 days or less. On the budget of a 19 year old. No, she did not offer to pay for it and yelled at me for asking. It is an amusing side note that my father nearly had a heart attack when he saw us all getting ready the day of the wedding, though why he was surprised that this charming lady picked out dresses that would not have been out of place at a Vegas show was beyond my ken. He quietly paid me back a few months later.
Color me surprised when I got a phone call a few short years later to spread the news of the divorce.
Related: when I got married, I eloped. :)
08/22/09
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