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Cocksure
"Would You Ever Date A Mentally Retarded Person?"
The Long And The Short Of It

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ImproperDancing
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
At first I thought that was in inches and not centimeters...Talk about a fish story!
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ceejeemcbeegee is not here
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
Have we discussed this commercial? 'Cause it's far worse than this retard-penis tape measure thingy!

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The HZA.
02/24/09

@ceejeemcbeegee: Oh mi gahhhhhhh. Wow. That's all I have for that.
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
Are they counting Indians, etc., as Caucasians or Asians in their measurements? And what about Pasifika? I want more exact measurements!
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gobblegirl
02/24/09

@Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith: I demand scientific rigour in my novelty cock rulers!
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toothsome
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
Ladies, I call bullshit. Big things come in small packages. That can be taken either way, but I've noticed shorter/skinnier dudes often have the larger penis situation. I'm not going to touch the race thing with a ten foot pole (heh!) because it's totally offensive and mussed up, but men, just like women, come in all delightful shapes and sizes and tones of skin and color of hair and level of hairiness and what have you. Ok, now I'm getting a little flustered.
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Plum-Pie
02/24/09

@toothsome: I'm cross at this piece of nonsense but I also want some personal time.
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bowleserised
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
Oh and Asians are yellow. Nice touch. NOT.
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autobahnaroo
02/24/09

@bowleserised: and hispanics are red. because theyre all bloods.
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denna
02/24/09

@bowleserised: I looked at it again, and the shorter a man is, the pinker the color, whereas tall is equal to blue. Given that it's Durex, and given the connotations that pink and blue have, and how denigrating it is for a man to be labeled anything remotely female--are they saying that short men aren't "real men" and might as well be women? What the hell?
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labeled
02/24/09

@autobahnaroo: I thought the Hispanics were the color of flaming hot cheetos.

I'm either racist, or feeling snacky.
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bowleserised
02/24/09

@denna: @autobahnaroo: This product is such a fail.
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TeacherDee
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
Man, I forgot for a second that the rest of the world uses centimeters. that ruler almost gave me a heart attack!
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swimmingly
02/24/09

@TeacherDee: ME TOO! I was like 16.25? HOLT SHIT LARGEST PEEN EVER. Like, you made me realize, and I'm glad because it caused me to tremble in fear.
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nessalicious
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
I've always felt like penis size has more relation to body shape and height.

Equally I've always felt like I don't give a shit about how big it is either. Apart from the guy that was so bit it hurt and I did a :s face all the way through coupled with "Eek!" noises. I've also always thought that had he been more attentive to my lady needs this wouldn't have been an issue.

Also where are Native Americans on this list?
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dcdulce
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
I wonder how my silicone members measure up...
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morninggloria
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
White guys put the "cock" in "caucasion."
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morninggloria
02/24/09

@morninggloria: "caucasian"

God. I think I have brain fever.
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gobblegirl
02/24/09

@morninggloria: that's one way to keep the zombies away, I guess.
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bowleserised
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
My, that's offensive.
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
I'm sorry, you must be this long to ride this ride.
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labeled
02/24/09

@dianersb was bit by a zombie: Brilliance. Your zombie is doing good things.
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PrettyNotPretty
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
Durex always gives away bizarrely fun stuff. Last time I bought them I got a set of cockrings that glow in the dark.
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bluebears
02/24/09

@PrettyNotPretty: shut up! awesome.
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Plum-Pie
02/24/09

@PrettyNotPretty: Better than a scrunchie any day!
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gobblegirl
02/24/09

@Plum-Pie: Yeah, I love the way I can see my ponytails in the dark now...

Oh wait, is that not what you meant?
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megscissorhands
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
Psh, silly ruler--everyone knows you can measure a man's penis size by how big his hands are. Simple.
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saintbernadette
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
"Length average of the penis in relation to height."

Is it okay to laugh at bad English translations when they're on such a ridiculous product?
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nessalicious
02/24/09

@saintbernadette: I feel like this could be on that Engrish site.
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labeled
02/24/09

In reply to Cocksure
I also call bullshit on this "average size by race" thing, but I'm interested to hear why people are so ready to call bullshit on caucasians having the longest expected penis size.

Why are we so content to let that stereotype stand, when we call bullshit on nearly Every. Other. Racial. Stereotype. But if it's "flattering" then it can stay? And really, IS it flattering? Isn't it really just one more reductive statement?
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N i s t h a
02/24/09

@labeled: What if it was breast size by race? Or butt size by race?
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denna
02/24/09

@labeled: I can't help but think this is one of those things where there is greater variation within groups than between groups, like how race is a social construct, not a biological one.

Wait. If race is a social construct, how the hell does any of this matter anyway?
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labeled
02/24/09

@denna: Mmhmm.

@trakkie: Yep. Not to mention that we once BOUGHT AND SOLD MEN based on their attributes as a "stud." As in a horse. As in fucking breeding stock.

This shit needs to end, right the hell NOW. But otherwise intelligent women seem surprised or upset that whites came out "on top" of this list. It's not right people. No matter how much we've been taught to accept that it is true.
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labeled
02/24/09

@N i s t h a: Or women were "ranked" by vaginal tightness? Would we be comfortable & accepting with that as a sexual stereotype?
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LaFemme
02/24/09

@labeled: Hhmmm, there is actually a vaginal tightness ranking sterotype out there... It is exactly like the penis ranking, the "theory" being that the women correspond the their male counterparts. So, Asian, White, (prob Hispanic), and Black.

Absolutely disgusting.
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labeled
02/24/09

@LaFemme: blerg. Also, the Kama Sutra is not impressed. (What was it, elephant, deer and horse? And that's presumably within one race.)
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chelseadaggers
02/24/09

@labeled: Sometimes stereotypes are true y'all.

So I'm calling bullshit on white being at the top...
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SweetIo
02/24/09

@labeled: Yeah, this has always really bothered me - for some reason people think it's ok to make jokes about my husband's penis being huge because he's black. I guess they think because it's kind of a compliment it's ok to A) Stereotype by race and B) talk about my husband's penis.
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labeled
02/24/09

@chelseadaggers: Based upon what, exactly? And you do understand the larger (ahem) issue I'm attempting to address, yes?

Anyway, the Kinsey study stated that the avg. white American penis was 6.2 inches in length. The average black American penis was 6.3. BUT: The sample sizes are something like 2500 whites to 75 blacks. And, they're ALL self-reported. So, uh. Yeah.

Also, my favorite factoid from digging around "penis size" is that Australian men (no race indicated) seem to be girthier than any other group. Germans, less so.
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labeled
02/24/09

@SweetIo: This is exactly where I think it goes *straight* back to selling men as "studs" and calling them "bucks" in our American slavery history. We're taking the most personal aspect of a man's anatomy and making it fair game for discussion.
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gobblegirl
02/24/09

@labeled: I agree with you on the stereotype being disgusting for a variety of reasons, but to be clear I think a lot of the comments on this thread are being tongue-in-cheek about it. As in, they're pretending to take it seriously for the irony, when in truth we all know that such a stereotype is pretty much as ridiculous as this product.
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MizJenkins
02/24/09

@labeled: Ok devil's advocate...if black men really were selected by penis size on the auction block, with the more well-endowed males being used for stud service (yes, my stomach is turning), then might it not be possible that this became a dominant trait within the race?

I think the offensive part of the sterotype is how it's it's used - to reduce the black man's value to his penis size or using it as an excuse to paint black men as aggressive and rape-y.

But that some of us here can personally attest to some truth at the basis of the stereotype isn't offensive per se. I've seen enough to be a believer!
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