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Lymed
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
From the perspective of the benefit of the country as a whole, wouldn't it make more sense to give priority to younger men who have more years to reproduce and likely have younger, more fertile wives?
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bowleserised
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
Welcome to socialist healthcare!
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gertymac
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
I love the disclaimer always associated with medicines/treatments for this sort of thing: "only use this product if you are healthy enough for sexual activity".

Um, if you're dick won't rise, you're not healthy enough for sexual activity. That's what that means, dude.
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prismatism is Team Bella
11/23/09

@gertymac: It's just about as great as "not for women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant".

Basically... all women, unless you're certified infertile, pre-pubescent, or post-menopausal MAYBE.
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Agumen
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
I know this is supposed to be just a joke article, but I have a serious question.

The implants they're talking about are for men with penile injuries / penile failure, right? This isn't about 'expansion'. Because, in fairness, loss of use of your penis would be as devastating and important as that of any other limb/organ.

And every doctor I've ever known in the history of man (yes, I'm immortal) has said that there is no surgical way to enhance your penis beyond half an inch, and you risk your boner by going under the knife. Men aren't stupid. If there was such a method, it would be a far bigger industry than breast implants. Guys are obsessed with their junk.

Currently, they just cut a ligament under the dick and reattach it so that more penis (more penis, does that sound right?) slides out from the body, making it look bigger. Some men aren't hiding much length, so it does nothing, sometimes the reattachment goes wrong and your cock can become hard but can't 'get up'.

So yeah, penis enlargement is bullshit but what they're offering here isn't.
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morninggloria
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
I won't be satisfied until science has discovered a way to give men the ability to jizz in different colors. I'm tired of pearl necklaces. Throw me a string of emeralds or sapphires every now and then.
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Triana Orpheus
11/23/09

@morninggloria: I like the-glow-in-the dark necklace look myself.
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prismatism is Team Bella
11/23/09

@Triana Orpheus: Get a black light, it's almost just as good!
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femme-bot
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
But I thought Cuban Cigars were supposed to be the best?
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BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
The era of Fidel Castrate is truly over!
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FroderickFronkensteen
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
Oh good, I was so worried about those penises not being satisfied. Now we can move on to other important issues like that health care thingy.
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hortense promoted this comment

TheFormerJuneBronson
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
The best thing is that it can be an insert "dick" joke, an "insert dick" joke, or a "dick insert" joke. Comedy trifecta!
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prismatism is Team Bella
11/23/09

@TheFormerJuneBronson: You successfully did the explain-why-it's-funny-thing without making it not funny in the process! Congratulations, it's not an easy task. :)
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Mireille is German for the Bart, the.
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
Maybe if we add that to the covered procedures for the public option the republicans will vote for it. It's hard to imagine any of them bigger dicks than they already are, but I'm sure that won't keep them from trying.
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hortense promoted this comment

mypsychoticself
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
When these guys offer health care, they don't dick around.

... On a more serious note, how do we not have free health care yet?
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IndignationCoordinator promoted this comment mypsychoticself was starred mypsychoticself was unstarred

IndignationCoordinator
11/23/09

@mypsychoticself: It's a ballsy move, to be sure.
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BearDownCBears
11/23/09

In reply to Insert Dick Joke Here
Big deal. I live in DC and we have tons of dick transplants. They work on K Street.
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curiousgeorgiana
11/23/09

@BearDownCBears: They really should rename the street. Fair warning and all.
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Edited by curiousgeorgiana at 11/23/09 11:57 AM curiousgeorgiana was starred curiousgeorgiana was unstarred

Rare Affinity
11/10/09

In reply to Weighty Matters
I was excited for an instant when my eyes fixed on the tub in tubular shape, being more tub shaped than hour glass myself. Then I realised it was tubular as in straight up and down. The time when apple shapes are finally given their moment in the sun cannot come fast enough for me. #bodyshapes
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lady_justice
11/10/09

@Rare Affinity: Indeed! My tubular sister keeps trying to get me into skinny jeans - so bad on us apples! #bodyshapes
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Rare Affinity promoted this comment lady_justice was starred lady_justice was unstarred

Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
11/10/09

In reply to Weighty Matters
Maybe we should just aspire to not describing ourselves using inanimate objects and fruits as descriptors. (i.e. apple, pear, hourglass, tubes, inverted triangles etc, etc.)
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Edited by Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC at 11/10/09 9:03 AM

10pninjas
11/10/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC: we're not referring to "you" as that, just your silouette. I never heard of inverted triangle, was just always easier to say "V" shape.

not trying to start an argument, but its hard to paint a mental picture without some description like this. I have used it only for convenience and never for offense. #bodyshapes
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC promoted this comment 10pninjas was starred 10pninjas was unstarred

Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
11/10/09

@10pninjas: A body is a body. All of the descriptors sort of give an impression that one may be better than another and that's simply not true. It's a body. Bodies are different for myriad reasons: genetics, exercise and eating habits etc. I think we should probably grow beyond this. If you defy labels than they really won't apply. And the inverted triangle part was a joke. #bodyshapes
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10pninjas
11/10/09

@Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC: if the descriptors gave that impression, yes, it would be far from untrue. I've known that enough by my own attractions. I've been attracted to women of many body types including one more masculine then my own, most simply because i love the person more then the body. But if you're describing it just to describe...

its just hard to see that just describing how something looks it hurtful. i mean, sure...point out cellulite, crows feet and other hurtful specifics, that i can understand. But giving a decription of general height, weight, color and build...i think if you found neutral descriptions offensive, you should work on changing them if you can. On the biggest loser, these people are still big but they appreciate every pound lost, they are working to make a difference. But thats only shame on the offended if they take offense to neutral and do nothing about it. People trying to make a difference can still be hurt by malicious words.

my bad on the inverted part. you're still funny, i just wasnt quick enough to catch it. #bodyshapes
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redqueenmeg
11/10/09

In reply to Weighty Matters
Yeah, tell me something I don't know. I find this out anew every time I try to shop for clothes and can only find pants that fit over my rear if I can stuff my four-year-old child into the waistband with me. #bodyshapes
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banana_grabber
11/10/09

@redqueenmeg: both Gap and Ann Taylor have a 'curvy' fit that helps with that. But, yes, I feel like enlightening someone to the fact that I have hips and a waist and that they are not the same size. #bodyshapes
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redqueenmeg promoted this comment banana_grabber was starred banana_grabber was unstarred

redqueenmeg
11/10/09

@banana_grabber: I'll check Gap again after I'm no longer pregnant, but every time I've tried there before, since about 1992, I've found the same waistband problem. :D #bodyshapes
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banana_grabber
11/10/09

@redqueenmeg: It's a relatively new line. And I just recently got a pair of wide-leg trouser jeans at Goodwill made by Banana Republic that fit like a dream, so you might try there (BR) as well. #bodyshapes
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