Katayama heard about the woman in question from a man who was her waiter that night:

The woman called her companion Peter or Stan. She ordered an appetizer for herself and a halibut dish for Peter/Stan. She was probably a tourist; she wanted to take pictures with Peter/Stan as the sun was setting, and while she was waiting for her food, she asked Joel if he could recommend any memorabilia from the gift shop so she could buy him a little something. When Joel was away, he could see her at her table talking to Peter/Stan as if he was a real person. Once or twice, she reached over to adjust him in his seat, or maybe to hold his hand. "When I walked up to the table, I felt like I was interrupting a date," Joel tells me. After about 45 minutes, the woman got up, walked to the kitchen, and told Joel that she would have to take her and Peter/Stan's dinners to go - they had a trolley car ride to catch, and she didn't want to be late.

We have so many "virtual" conversations — Facebook updates, Twitter accounts, texts and IMs. But does that mean fewer face-to-face encounters? I lived alone for about ten years — no roommates, no pets, no plants. I had friends, of course, with whom I'd make plans… But obviously a lot of my time was spent alone, especially once I started working from home. Time would pass without seeing or speaking to anyone, and it felt lonely. It took a long time to get comfortable with the idea of sitting in a restaurant alone. Sometimes I would bring a book, or a magazine, but I never considered a cardboard cutout. But would it be so bad? Kids often have imaginary friends. Are adults meant to do without? (Katayama points out that in September, NBC Miami reported on a woman who carries around a cardboard cutout of her soldier boyfriend. Does that seem less weird?) When I'm home alone, I sometimes talk back to the TV; about five months ago, Scientific American had an article about how TV can ease loneliness: "In the same way that a snack can satiate hunger in lieu of a meal, it seems that watching favorite TV shows can provide the experience of belonging without a true interpersonal interaction." But you can't take your TV out to dinner with you. (Yet.)

Men who marry video game characters, or who love their Real Dolls, get mocked. But what about the woman having dinner with a cardboard cutout? Do you have sympathy and understanding for her? Would it make a difference if the cutout depicted a soldier in Iraq? Or what if he were a character from New Moon? I guess what I'm saying is: I've been lonely. So I can't judge.

Woman Dines With Cardboard Cutout Man In San Francisco [BoingBoing]
Related: Imaginary Friends [Scientific American]

[Danboard image via HobbySearch]

How are we supposed to know if we are unmarried because we want to be? As an unmarried 30-something woman in New York, you can't say you want to get married, because then you're that unmarried 30-something woman in New York who's obsessed with marriage. But if you go around saying you don't want to get married, people think you're lying, or that you're so traumatized by your past dating experiences that you must hate men.

There is no doubt that this is true. When a woman wants to get married, but isn't, a whiff of desperation emanates from her — growing stronger the older she gets. The smell is not actually there, but people tend to act like something stinks. It's just seems that people think longing for a husband is cute when you're 22, less so when you're 32, and by 42? You're already renting a one bedroom in Spinsterville. Men are allowed to careen, stumble and gallivant through bachelorhood indefinitely; women have to say they are looking for "the one," or their relatives look at them funny. Even when celebrities say things like, "I'm not single — I'm busy!", it seems ripe for mocking.

Plus: Women have a billion self-help books and Hollywood movies telling us that when we're not looking for Mr. Right, he magically appears. You "meet cute" while reaching for the same pint of Häagen Dazs, or he accidentally spills his latte on you right before an blind date.

But oddly, the issue that comes up time and time again? Finance. In Shafrir's piece, a woman turning 40 wants to buy a pricey dress for her birthday party. Her explanation? "I'm never getting married. I'm never going to have a wedding. So this is sort of like my wedding dress, you know?" Yes, just like the infamous Sex And The City-registering-for-Manolos incident, it seems that unmarried women can only achieve milestones by spending money. Maybe you look down on what Shafrir calls "liberated materialism," but in a capitalist, wedding-mad, home-ownership obsessed society, what else can an unmarried woman do do feel like, you know, she's done something for herself?

How To Be Un-Married (For Now Anyway) [NY Observer]

8% of women between the ages of 25 and 44 live alone, according to the UK Office of National Statistics (ONS), and that's twice as many singletons as twenty years ago. "The ONS report cited recent research which showed that two-thirds of freemales feel that they can enjoy a happy and fulfilled life without a partner," the Telegraph notes. Paula Hall, a shrink with Relate, a nationwide relationship counseling nonprofit in England, tells the Telegraph that many women have become cynical about longterm relationships. "If you're busy and fulfilled with lots of close friends, then relationships may seem a bit irrelevant, emotionally high-risk and a lot of hard work," Hall says. Maybe they just don't want to deal with those scads of men expecting "perfect" relationships.

Men Prefer Being Solo Over A Bad Marriage: Study [Reuters]
Women Shun Marriage In Favour Of Single Life [Telegraph]

So Why Have You Never Been Married?: 10 Insights Into Why He Hasn't Wed [Amazon]

The report states: "An increase in the number of people living alone may be thwarting the gains from energy efficiencies." So — all the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me. And tell me: Do we need to start crocheting by candlelight instead of liveblogging ANTM? Oh wait, kids are fucking up the planet, too. Nevermind.

Rise In Singletons Thwarts Moves To Save Energy [Guardian]
Kids Are Killing The Planet! [Huffington Post]
Earlier: Single Women: Psyched Or Sad?
If You're Single And You Know It, Raise Your Hand

It's been ten years since Helen Fielding wrote about the "smug marrieds" in Bridget Jones's Diary, but they haven't gone away. Says 27-year-old Tara Sanders of El Cerrito, CA: "There is this feeling that they know better than you because they've managed to get married. But if I really wanted to, I could just go to Vegas and get drunk and find someone. It's not that hard."

So, how should one respond to well-meaning friends who question our marital status — er, lack thereof? We'd really like a great, definitive answer. When someone says "When are you getting married," should we laugh and say, "Hell if I know!" Change the subject? Shake our head and sigh, "I'm just so busy right now"? Reply, "I'm on the market, know any single hotties?"

Married Yet? [San Jose Mercury News, via Star Tribune]

We're going to disagree, and add "paranoid" to that list, as well as "bitter" and "defensive", not because we have anything against being single, but because being single should be fun, and Talbot does not sound fun; she sounds like one of those bitter, jaded old broads that your mom swilled Chardonnay with after her divorce. "Take my word for it—a loveless marriage will sap your spirit and your sanity a lot more quickly than a lifetime of dateless Saturday nights," Talbot writes. Uh, It already sounds like you're spirit's been sapped, lady.
Stop Singlism! [Forbes]
Related: How To Marry A Man In Manhattan — My Way [NY Observer]

• China is creating a female-run district where women make all the decisions and men have to wash the dishes. [Salon]
• Nestle to buy baby-food company Gerber for $5.5 billion, giving Nestle "the leadership position in baby food." We're sure the thousands of moms in Third World countries whose babies died as a result of Nestle's marketing of baby formula are happy to hear it! [NYTimes]
• The blessings and curses of being middle-aged suburban mom. [WashingtonPost]
• And...the blessings and curses of being a single woman. [USAToday]
• Liberal feminist bloggers not happy with liberal non-feminist bloggers. [Feministing]