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That_little_attention_whore
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
I just commit wrath. Wrath, wrath, wrath, all day long. Coincidentally, a lot of that wrath is directed towards the Pope.
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Cheeky
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
Dear Pope,

What up? This is Cheeky. You don't normally hear from me, being that I'm buddhist and I find your hat really silly. I was just writing to tell you that if you keep saying shit like sins are gender-specific, I know some ladies that will gut you like a fish and play around in your entrails while dancing in lewd ways. (Wrath? Check. Lust? Check. Pride? Check.)

Me. I'm jealous that you eat so much sausage. (Envy? Check) But I'm also lazy (Sloth...checkeroo) so I'll just leave to you to continue extorting the masses and not really doing anything for the last thousand years.

Good luck on that fantasy baseball.

Cheeky
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elitza owns the last Enzo shirt
02/18/09

@Cheeky: WIN. I heart you.
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Little Time Bomb
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
What a year for the Vatican. I'm not sure whats next on the offending everyone on the planet tour for these guys. They've already hit Jews and anyone who believes in the holocaust, people who believe better access to education has been good for society, people who think that only a jack ass preaches against materialism while in his fur slippers and ermine robe, and people who don't think gays are a bigger threat to the world than rain forests being destroyed. Shit come to think of it yeah they just might manage to offend everyone on the planet.
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MizJenkins
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
This Pope is a downer. I miss John Paul II.
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Little Time Bomb
02/18/09

@MizJenkins: Every time the new guy opens his mouth I think; "Seriously this is the best you guys could come up with?!?!" Of all the eligible people in the world this guy can not have been the best contender. Maybe everyone just got so sick of his hardline ranting they figured they wanted the whole world to know what a jerk he was.
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chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
I'm amazed this post isn't worthy of the "STFU" tag.
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counterclockwise's using her promoting-power for good
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
Every time I think I just couldn't despise him more, he does something that turns into a rambling, cursing monster. Which can be problematic in Regensburg, where Ratzinger lived and taught for many years. You should have seen the city during his visit in 2006, it was crazy!
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counterclockwise's using her promoting-power for good
02/18/09

@counterclockwise is quitting smoking.: That turns ME into a rambling, cursing monster.
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Shamrockette
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
Dribble like this is exactly why I'm not a Catholic anymore.

I really could care less if I'm proud woman of her accomplishments and I spread my legs for any willing guy. Besides, the Pope shouldn't tell me what to do with my vagina and uterus.
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rednrowdy
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
i think this is clearly describing the women from 'real housewives of orange county/new york/atlanta', don't you?
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PilgrimSoul
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
Translation from the original Latin: "For the love of all that is good and holy, women, don't be proud of yourselves or envy what men have (by birthright!) like freedom and shit or get angry about your oppression or want to enjoy sex instead of lying back and thinking of the Pope or heaven forfend, forget to shave your 'pits every day."

I am the S to your TFU, you old Nazi sympathizer of an asswipe.
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morninggloria
02/18/09

@PilgrimSoul: You are quite the Latin scholar. I had no idea there was so much nuance in the original text.
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PilgrimSoul
02/18/09

@morninggloria: I love you.
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morninggloria
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
What about if I'm thinking about the Pope when I fuck? What kind of sin is that?

How about if thinking about the Pope makes me want to fuck more, not because he's a handsome guy, but because he bothers me so much that he makes me want to do the opposite of what he says?

What say you, Popey!
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braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
02/18/09

@morninggloria: It's a combination of lust, for wanting to fuck, greed, for wanting to fuck more, and envy, for wishing you could fuck while wearing the Pope's stupid hat.
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morninggloria
02/18/09

@braak: The idea of fucking in a Pope hat has me rendered helpless with laughter.
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braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
Well, fine. According to Braak, head of the First Church of Braak, the primary sin that Popes have to deal with is douchiness, followed by wankery, fuckery, being a shithead, being a fancypants shithead, living in a solid gold house, and ugly hats.

No, wait, I guess ugly hats is probably number two.
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Little Time Bomb
02/18/09

@braak: Only because he's a dude though. If he were a lady I'm sure those would all be in a different order.. on account of his lady parts all messing with his priorities.
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braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
02/18/09

@Little Time Bomb: Naturally, for Lady Popes, ugly hats is number one.
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rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
He's the Pope, I mean if he just came out and told everyone that they were doing a heckuva job then he'd be out of work.
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braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
02/18/09

@rmric0: Hahah, it would be awesome if the Pope did that.

"Okay, you know, you guys are doing okay, so I'm just going to take off this ermine cape...and, hey, take care!"
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restless
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
OK, these are generalizations made by someone who is.....drumroll...a lifelong celibate that lives with men only! If you want to remain kinda Catholic and somewhat sane, you got to keep all the Vatican's rules and gender roles into a perspective. These are ideal guidelines, certainly not standards everyone can maintain all the time. Except my main ma,n Jesus. He's the ultimate, that's why he's like, our Savior and stuff.
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
02/18/09

@restless: Wait, a clerical Jezzie? Sweet!
Also, I'm always surprised at how much outsiders expect Catholics to be in lockstep with the church. I'm barely Catholic myself, and grew up in a pretty lax family, so maybe it's an unreliable sample, but I've met maybe 2 catholic families who follow the birth control guidelines. I've met loads of pro-choice catholics (even a priest!) and gay catholics and socialist catholics and feminist catholics. Even my Grandma, who prayed the full rosary every night before bed and who dragged me along to Perpetual Adoration every week (I think this is why I'm no longer practicing) had plenty of harsh words about some of the church's political and social standards.
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Questioning Everything
02/18/09

@MidnightBikeRide: You should go to western Michigan where my sister lives. That people of that diocese are so lock in step, it's scary.
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elitza owns the last Enzo shirt
02/18/09

@WashingMyHair: Hey, I went to a Catholic college in western Michigan. It's the Christian Reform you've gotta watch for over there, trust.
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tscheese
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
I like fucking, eating, sleeping, caterwauling, preening, ogling stuff, and not sharing my toys.

So, uh, I'm a dude?
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elitza owns the last Enzo shirt
02/18/09

@tscheese: Me too!
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morninggloria
02/18/09

In reply to Ain't Too Proud To Keep Our Knees Shut
My "sin" is this clown's clowny clowning has caused me to recuse myself from the giant Clown College of Catholicism.

Srsly, pope. I quit. And it's your fault.
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