• Samantha Ronson is worried about text messages that her girlfriend, Lindsay Lohan, has been receiving from two male DJs she met a few weeks ago: "The texts can be quite flirtatious," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]

• "Lindsay swears they're innocent," a source says about the texts, "but Sam worries she wants to start dating guys again. Sam is also anxious over the actress's commitment to her. This makes Lindsay angry - she feels she's a loyal girlfriend." [ShowbizSpy]
• Tina Fey has some solid advice for Amy Poehler for her upcoming tv show: "Trust no one. Yell at everyone. Insist on being driven to work in a party trolley."[NYTimes]
• Sparkly Vampire Robert Pattinson is shooting down rumors that he's been stinking up the set of New Moon: "I haven't even been on the set yet. I also do shower," Pattinson says, "I just want to know whoever's saying negative stuff, and I just want to remember their names. I write it all down in my black book."[ShowbizSpy]
• Samantha Ronson is worried that Lindsay Lohan might leave her for a man, as Lindsay has been receiving text messages from two male DJs she met a few weeks ago: "The texts can be quite flirtatious. Lindsay swears they're innocent but Sam worries she wants to start dating guys again," says a source, "Sam is also anxious over the actress's commitment to her. This makes Lindsay angry - she feels she's a loyal girlfriend." [ShowbizSpy]
• Fergie is loving married life: "Now that the wedding is over, we are so chill and comfortable together – the feeling I have about Josh is like coming home," she says, "There is that small and intimate feeling I have all of the time that tells me things are so right! It was wonderful to share our special day with families and friends. But now we can be casual and happy and move ahead." [People]
• Leonardo DiCaprio was awarded the first Nickelodeon Big Green Help award for his contributions to environmental awareness. "We need all of you, the next generation, to take action," DiCaprio told the crowd, "In fact, I bet someone watching this very show tonight will be a part of the solution to global warming." [USWeekly]
• Rihanna reportedly wants to accept Oprah's offer to appear on her show and discuss her relationship with Chris Brown—but only if Brown comes as well. "Rihanna was resistant, so Oprah suggested Rihanna tell Chris that despite their recent commitment ceremony, she's been having second thoughts about them being back together. And agreeing to go on Oprah's show and tell the world how sorry he is will help make up her mind," says a source, "Chris said no at first, but bought himself some time by saying he needed to think about it with his mother Joyce. But he's desperate to win over the American public and he's realized this could be the perfect way." [ShowbizSpy]
• Richard Simmons spotted a group of "larger women" whispering about him at the Miami International Airport, and, in true Simmons fashion, "broke into song and dance, singing Beyoncé's song 'Single Ladies.'" The women began "jumping excitedly and cheering him on." [PageSix]
• Lipstick Jungle: dunzo. [EW]
• Madonna's ex-nanny, Angela Jacobsen, vented her frustrations about working for the Material Girl on her Facebook page: "‘Not putting up [with] this s*** any more. Never have, never will. Standing up for my rights regardless of consequence. Sick of always being the one who compromises." [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, Save the Children is urging Madonna NOT to adopt Mercy James, an orphan from Malawi. "The best place for a child is in his or her family in their home community," says spokesman Dominic Nutt, "Most children in orphanages have one parent still living, or have an extended family that can care for them in the absence of their parents." [Popdirt]
• Blind Item:" A couple of years ago, she was one of the most popular acts in the business. So this singer expected that her career would be soaring higher than ever this year. Turns out to be exactly the opposite. She is completely stressed, she is spending more than she is making, her weight is all over the place, her career is not being managed well, and she is now practically giving away tickets to her performances. Enough people have told her to boot her current management that she is actually starting to listen. However, she is terrified of the implications it may have on her family life. If she does find the strength, she could be a star again. If she doesn't, expect the downslide to continue." [BlindGossip]
• "When Simon made his best man speech at my wedding, he said I was like no one he'd ever met before, and I don't think I'd ever met anyone like him. I had a certain streetness to me and he was a Bristol whoopsie! But he made that noise out of Star Wars - the little robot that Chewy scares off, that makes the be-bipdibip noise. And I thought, 'I know what that noise is!' And since I'd watched Star Wars no one had ever made that noise to me. I'd been an only child in a cupboard making it to myself. We just connected."-Nick Frost on Simon Pegg [Guardian]

• Yesterday we heard there was no sex tape; today Britney wants to buy the tape she made with Adnan Ghalib from him, so she can destroy it. Even if they're not having sex on the video, she's probably loopy and naked. She might need to give this guy a lot of cash to make him go away. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile, Adnan Ghalib has filed for divorce. Don't forget: He was married the whole time he was dating Brit. [TMZ]
• New show Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels has been halted after a crew member driving a production vehicle fell asleep at the wheel and killed two 19-year olds in another vehicle. Bret says: "As a father of two, I cannot even imagine what the families must be going through at this time. I will make every attempt to reach out to them to let them know that my heart and prayers are with them during their time of grief." As of yet, neither Bret nor VH1 have contacted the families. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina Jolie: In therapy? So are millions of Americans. More on this in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• DJ AM and and Paris Hilton have been texting. He wrote to her: "so lucky to be alive." Paris says: "I think God saved him." [E!]
• You know how Courtney Love said Kurt Cobain's ashes had been stolen? An Australian artist named Natascha Stellmach claims to have the ashes. She plans on putting the ashes in a joint and SMOKING them in a joint in a "secret Berlin location." Then she will announce that she feels stupid and contagious. [NY Mag]

• Sharon Stone wanted her 8-year-old son to get Botox injections in his feet. This was revealed in some custody papers; apparently the kid had a "problem" with "foot odor." Mom suggested Botox; the kid's dad, Phil Bronstein, thought of the "simple and common sense approach" of making sure the boy wore socks and used foot deodorant. [LA Times, TMZ, HuffPo]
• Jennifer Aniston is tanorexic! She bought two tanning beds — at $34,000 each — for her L.A. home after the one she had broke. "She freaked out because the next day, she had a major photo shoot," sez a source. "She had to go to a public tanning place. She learned her lesson after that — always have a back-up." Or, you know, just go to Mexico. [Star]
• This picture of Heather Locklear "arriving" at the police station after her DUI bust is just sad. [The.Life Files]
• Oh, wow: The woman who dialed 911 on Heather Locklear is Jill Ishkanian, a former Us Weekly staffer who was under investigation by the FBI. Right after she called authorities, she called a paparazzi agency. Plus: Ishkanian apparently is the only witness who says Lockelear was driving erratically and that she was drunk, even though it's already established she was not under the influence of alcohol. Ishkanian was in the movie America The Beautiful talking about using celebrities. She runs CelebrityBabylon.com. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan may be on vacation in Mexico but her legal troubles never take a break. Her lawyers were in court seeking dismissal of a portion of a lawsuit filed against her by her former bodyguard, David Kim. He claims she owes him money; LL's lawyers sat there's no evidence of fraud. [E!]
• Daniel Craig was in East Hampton and heard bagpipes coming from inside a restaurant. He walked in and found out it was a baptism celebration. Craig ended up holding the baby and posing for photos. The softer side of Bond! [Page Six]
• Despite reports that it's back on, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman are just friends, says a publicist. So calm down. [UPI]
• Oh no: Audrina Patridge wants her own show. And MTV is actually discussing it with her! [Perez Hilton]
• Sean Penn's playing San Francisco’s first openly gay politician, Harvey Milk, in a new film. Apparently after kissing James Franco, Sean texted Madonna: "I just broke my cherry kissing a guy. I thought of you. I don’t know why." Madonna wrote back: "Congratulations." [LA Times]
• Speaking of Madonna, the trailer for her film looks not half bad. [Jossip]
• Two high school girls were suspended for dancing to Katy Perry's song at a football game. It was Texas, where "I Kissed A Girl" is threatening, apparently. [Perez Hilton]
• Do not make the mistake of listening to Paris Hilton's techno-tinged new song about finding a new best friend. Just don't. Some of us haven't fully recovered. [People]
• Beyoncé's new CD probably will not be done in time for her Nov. 18 release date. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mark Wahlberg's son was born on Sept. 16 but Mark and his fiancée Rhea Durham just settled on a name: Brendan Joseph. [E!]
• Yes! YES! Jack White and Alicia Keys in the video for the new Bond song, "Another Way To Die." [People]
• Katie Price, the "glamour model" known as Jordan, and her husband Peter Andre, might be breaking up. [Perez Hilton]
• Oh wait, here they are leaving a club all kissy kissy. [The Sun]
• Kendra from Girls Next Door and Joe Francis: Seen making out in Miami. [Page Six]
• Simon Pegg is learning how to lose friends and alienate people. He said of Ricky Gervais: "He said there'd been no good British films since 1950. What an idiot. If you go to LA, you can get sucked into that." [Telegraph]
• Some film exec on Forest Whitaker: "Ugly, black, and unbankable." [StereoHyped]
• There's no street named after Lou Reed in New York, and he thinks that's bullshit. He says: "Lou Reed Way would be nice. Any little street would do." [Gothamist]
• Fast food joint Sonic wants to target young women, so they're creating a bunch of episodic-type ads to run during The Hills. [Brandweek]
• Britain's Daily Star published a picture of Sienna Miller cornered by more than a dozen cameramen while waiting for an elevator, red-faced and near tears. She sued; stating she was clearly in distress and being harassed; the tabloid paid her $27,000 in damages and issued an apology. [E!]
• Kenny Chesney is making like Diddy and getting into the booze biz. He's developing a "premium rum" with Constellation Spirits. [UPI]
• Russell Crowe knows how to fix the economy: "I have been intently watching the political process," he says. "If they want to stimulate the economy and get people spending so they can look after their mortgage ... give everyone $1 million.'' Except that would be 300 trillion dollars, way more than the $700 billion bailout package. [News.com.au]
• Kim Kardashian is not married, she just calls her boyfriend "hubby." Or "Papa Bear." [E!]
• Kim was booted from Dancing With The Stars last night, on the 5th anniversary of her father's death. Robert Kardashian was best known for being OJ Simpson's lawyer. [Yahoo News]
• Three people who work on Madonna's tour speak about the costumes, the concept and Her Madgesty. The costume designer says: "Madonna has eight costume changes. And everyone gets doubles of everything, including the shoes, to last the duration of the tour. Madonna sometimes has up to six copies of one particular outfit so that it always looks fresh and great. […] We develop a lot of her clothes ourselves. So we go to the end of the earth if we have to to find the right fabric. Or if we have shoes made, we collaborate with wonderful people at Miu Miu and Prada. Madonna gets to play different characters, whether it's a sexy robot or a gypsy." [NY Daily News]
• The weird thing about Stephen Colbert being in the comic of Spider-Man is that you end up staring at his illustrated crotch. [Perez Hilton]
• Janet Jackson is out of the hospital. It was probably exhaustion, says boyfriend Jermaine Dupri. "A 42-year-old body can't handle what a 22-year-old body can," he says. "I can tell you that she's definitely tired." [People]
• Oh, but while Janet was in the hospital, Jermaine was out partying. [E!]
• Billy Joel is helping to pay for the funeral of a fisherman whose body was found not far from his house in Long Island. Joel says: "I’ve always supported our local commercial fishermen. These are the people, both men and women, who have to go out in all types of conditions to bring us our fish." [NY Times]
• A letter written by a young Princess Diana in which she admitted trying to marry off her elder sister to her future husband Prince Charles has been sold at auction for £12,000. [Yahoo News]
• Bollywood is on strike! Movie shoots are canceled! [Yahoo News]
• "She told me that you can't have both a love life and a career in pictures at the same time, and it has proven to be true - she was right." — Patricia Arquette's memory of working with Bette Davis. [Page Six]
• "Paul Newman told me his hotel in Chicago was a room at the YMCA, which was not hard to imagine. He considered himself just another member of the acting company, who would call his wife during breaks and confess to feeling self-conscious on the first day of shooting. But he was Paul Newman, and could not mask the fact he was simply – yet elegantly – an extraordinary artist and man. How lucky we all have been." — Tom Hanks. [People]
• "Bad boys just keep following me around." — Pamela Anderson. [The Sun]

The Good:
Gillian Anderson is one of those women who magically looks 100x better-dressed when pregnant! This is a little — first time this week! — "Ascotte Gavotte," but very pretty.
Hey, beggars can't be choosers, okay? This was not a good night for fashion, so Margo Stilley's "acceptable" gets automatically bumped.
Yes, I love Martin "Tim Canterbury" Freeman, but I genuinely think he and his 40s-inflected date look cute.
Awesome. No, seriously, even had Miriam Margolyes not appeared in both the Cold Comfort Farm movie and that BBC A Little Princess from the 80s that's probably the best miniseries ever made ever, she would get points here.



The Bad:
If one must sport a sack like Connie Huq, popular wisdom holds that a dainty shoe is the only possible palliative.
We can deny it no longer. Barbie fashion, a la Isabella Calthorpe's neon leopard, is clearly the look for fall.
Hannah Waddingham's pleat-a-palooza is further damning evidence.
I found Anna Popplewell very adorable in the Narnia movies, but frumpy and Minnie are a case of two wrongs. And we all know what that doesn't make.
ElectroVamp are double trouble!



The Ugly:
I, too, admire Sandra Day O'Connor. Unlike Edith Bowman, I don't feel the need to shorten her old Supreme Court robes into a minidress and pair it with lace tights and tap shoes.

[Images via Getty]