Kate Moss: Still The Face of Rimmel!

• Rumors are flying that Kate Moss has been replaced as the face of Rimmel after singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor was seen filming spots for the makeup line. Rimmel denies the reports, claiming that they're just one big happy family: "The girls will all represent different looks. With these girls varied backgrounds in music, acting and modeling - and their very different looks, it's hoped they will broaden the appeal of Rimmel London around the world." Phew! "Murder on the Dancefloor" may be an all time fave, but Kate/Rimmel is sacrosanct. [ElleUK]
• Blind item alert! "Which autocratic fashion designer dropped out of sight for several months last year after a face-lift went wrong? The surgeon cut a nerve in his neck, and he needed rehabilitation to move his face properly..." Hm, autocratic and freaky-looking? Doesn't narrow it down much. [NY Post]

Colorful Fashion Gays Get Into Spat Over Turban • Oral Sex Can Lead To Throat Cancer

Simon Doonan apologizes for an unfunny joke he made about Andre Leon Talley's turban at the CFDA Awards. Imagine how pissed ALT would have been if Simon commented on his floor-length velvet cape. • Developers say "The Audrey" a "kitchen computer for women" flopped because of the economy, but we think its failure had more to do with the fact that women don't need "lady computers." • International pop sensation George Michael announces his "final two" big concerts, and he might retire from touring all together! • Is there an ice cream connection between female pop stars and mental breakdowns? • OMG you guyzzz, Miley and Mandy finally released their comeback video to AC/DC dance crew! And it features all of the hit stars of the late '90s? • Sorry: HPV in the throat contracted through oral sex can cause throat cancer more easily than tobacco or alcohol. • A NY state rep pushes for foreign models to be reclassified to a different visa category for entertainers and athletes. • The girls at Fashion Meets Finance disappoint people with brains. Quick! Spot the SATC quote in the article! • Is your sweater turning you into a "sad and sorry sack"? This vintage ad promises to get you the boy's attention you so desperately, desperately crave (click on Andre to see full ad).

Design Doyen Simon Doonan: Dotty

Memo To Allure: Rachel Zoe Is Not Alluring

Donatella Versace Expresses Love For Fellow Blondes

• Donatella Versace loves Hillary Clinton but thinks she should dress more like Donatella Versace if she wants to nab the presidency. [Vogue UK]
  
• But forget politics — where are we, Washington D.C.? — Donatella would much rather meet Martha Stewart. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• This week on Ugly Betty, recently fired ELLE fashion director Nina Garcia will appearing alongside Project Runway winner Christian Siriano. But in the season finale, ELLE's Nina-ousters Robbie Myers and Joe Zee will be appearing on the show, in a storyline featuring a softball game. Needless to say, this would seem to indicate a rapproachment on the level with Nixon meeting Mao, except when you remember that the common goal is not being on TV. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• How the fuck did Heidi Montag's clothing line outsell Victoria Beckham's at Kitson's? [TMZ]

More Notable Quotables From Simon Doonan

Posh + Tom Cruise = Velvet Suits For Everyone?

• Oh sweet Jesus: There are reports that Victoria Beckham will serve as the stylist on Tom Cruise's new movie, The Hardy Boys. [Fashionista]
  
• It's confirmed: The all-black Italian Vogue cover shot by Steven Meisel is a go and Jordan Dunn is set to star. [Vogue UK]
  
• Claire Danes: The new face of Gucci jewelry. Says Gucci creative director Frida Giannini: "Claire Danes is a modern icon...[Her] sensual, confident beauty and her passionate, independent and strong character embodies today's Gucci woman." Also, Claire Danes always looks totally bored by everything. Just saying. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Lindsay Lohan is the face of Visa's new glorified Salvation Army stores where old clothing can be swapped for other people's old clothing. How far she has fallen. [WWD, 5th item]

Christina Ricci Is Not The Face Of Louis Vuitton

• How did Christina Ricci respond when someone from Interview magazine asked how she likes being the face of Louis Vuitton? "Well, I'm not anymore. I was one of four actresses that they used in a campaign once and it was really fun. I liked it. I would like to be the face of Louis Vuitton. I am not, however. You know who is? Scarlett Johansson is the face of Louis Vuitton. Wrong interview." Awkward. [WWD, 4th item]
  
• Back in 2007, Harvey Weinstein said of NBC Universal top dog Jeff Zucker (who is, you know, now suing Weinstein for taking Project Runway from Bravo to Lifetime), "You can only have in your life five true friends, and I consider you one of my five friends." All together now, once more, with feeling: Awkward. [Page Six]
  
• We're guessing that Nina Garcia is turning down that editor-at-large gig at Elle since she was seen eating lunch yesterday at Bergdorf Goodman. Working fashion editors don't eat. [Page Six]
  
• How surprising: Prada isn't going public come June, as previously announced. (Actually, no one's surprised about this at all.) [NYT]

Five Quirky Quips From Wonderfully Wacky Simon Doonan

Janet Is The Only Jackson In The Black

• Aside from Janet, the Jacksons are all pretty much broke, working odd jobs, and living with their parents. [TMZ]
  
• Speaking of financial troubles: Heath Ledger was only worth $145,000 at the time of his death. [TMZ]
  
• Amy Winehouse's husband Blake is trying to get her to fund his drug habit in while he's locked up, which is like, news to no one. According to the security chief of Pentonville jail, where Blake Incarcerated is being held, "There is strong and supported intelligence he is involved in attempting to smuggle drugs into the prison." [The Sun]
  
• Meanwhile, Amy's mom Janis has a doctor's note to get out of dealing with her daughter's own drug addiction. She has multiple sclerosis and has said, "If I was to get heavily involved in Amy's problems things could get worse for me. I can't cope." [The Mirror]

BREAKING NEWS: Karl Lagerfeld Changes Clothes

• Breaking news! Karl Lagerfeld changed his uniform. He's now rocking a gray suit and a bow tie, in contrast to the black suit and a skinny tie of yore. This is akin to the time Jay-Z announced he had stopped wearing sports jerseys, and you can expect its effects to be felt on the Karl Lagerfeld figurine industry and the Karl Lagerfeld party impersonator industry soonest. [FabSugar UK]
  
• "I told them, 'I'll only do it if you make me a guitar case with the logo on it,' " says Keith Richards, of what made him agree to be the new face of Louis Vuitton. Way to haggle, Keith! [USA Today]
  
• Barneys Creative Director/general master of awesomeness Simon Doonan's memoir of his childhood, Nasty is being turned into a TV show called Beautiful People thanks to the producer of The Office and Asbolutely Fabulous. "It's a low-rent Madame Bovary," he says. We may just be watching this. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Speaking of which, says Donatella Versace of Doonan, after their stint parading in the Barneys windows together: "I think Simon actually wants to be a mannequin." [WWD, sub req'd]

Donatella Versace As God Intended Her: Behind Glass

Even Fashionistas Rock The Vote

Karl Lagerfeld: Now Pocket Sized

• Karl Lagerfeld has designed a lead figurine of himself, to be sold as a limited edition (1,000 units only) for $300 at Paris boutique Colette. Perfect for teaching etiquette, nutrition, and brand-expansion strategy to your Homies! [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Agyness Deyn has replaced Drew Barrymore as the face of English designer Giles Deacon's diffusion line, Gold. Anyway, if they were looking for someone less overexposed than Drew Barrymore, they failed. [Vogue UK]
  
• Aw, gender equality! Male models are getting freakishly thin, too. [NY Mag]
  
• Diane von Furstenberg: "Is it clothes that make you glamorous? I don't think so! Glamour is shine, glamour is having an aura, and that is not just about clothes or makeup — I am very often without makeup, and I always look for comfortable clothes. For me, it's important to be who you are, or — even better—to be who you want to be." This doesn't exactly make sense, but at least it seems sincere! [BlackBook]

You're Not A Real Fashion Victim 'Til You've Landed In The ER

I once laughed unsympathetically when my mother's best friend broke her thumb putting on her girdle, and now, lo many years later, God has seen fit to punish me... It's hard to say if my affliction is more or less embarrassing than that girdle-mangling horror of yore. I will let you be the judge. Here goes: I was felled by a man-bag, a Goyard man-bag at that...After two or three years of lugging round my luxe accessory...I incurred a nasty case of bicep tendinitis....[It] is a painful and immobilizing condition involving months of rehab.

Donna Karan Has A New Boyfriend (Emphasis On "Boy")

• Donna Karan's in love! The lucky guy is a male model, and a full two years older than "half her age." [Page Six]
  
• Barney's New York Creative Director/bon vivant Simon Doonan has a new book coming out in April 2008 titled Eccentric Glamour. Tagline: "Say no to ho." And yes to fashion appreciated exclusively by homos! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Diane von Furstenberg to Amex cardholders who forked over $550 to hear her speak at her NYC flagship store, "For those of you who don't know, this is the Meatpacking District. A lot of Japanese tour buses go around and say, 'Oh, this is where Diane von Furstenberg lives.'" Uh, they do? [Fashion Week Daily]

Kate Moss Asks Tory Leader To Fix Her Sewage Problems

• Britain's Conservative Party Leader David Cameron met Kate Moss! She asked for his number! And then asked him to fix the sewage problem in her country house that was damaged by all the flooding in London this summer. Awkward. [Vogue UK]
  
• Simon Doonan, the creative director of Barneys New York, has done "green" windows for the holiday season. Like "Rudolph the Green-Nosed Recycling Reindeer." I take full credit for this as Simon asked me if I thought this was a good idea when I rushed him like a crazy fan on the subway about 8 months ago. I told him yes. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Julianne Moore had another reading and signing for her new children's book, this time at the SoHo J.Crew. Um, has this woman never heard of Barnes & Noble? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Designer Erin Fetherston hates America, loves Paris. [The Fashion Informer]

Tom Ford Takes On Big Oil

• Tom Ford has purchased a large tract of land near his New Mexico home to prevent it from being sullied by oil harvesters. For what did we invade Iraq, if not to preserve the nation's country homes? [Vogue UK]
  
• The rumor mill reports that Jessica Simpson has inked a fragrance deal, and the scent will be on shelves by this summer. Top notes of Chicken Of The Sea, perhaps? [Sassybella]
  
• "I don't like cheap things usually, but this collection is nice and of good quality," says Anna Della Russo, who styled the Roberto Cavalli for H&M ads. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• English designer Luella Bartley has decided that what the world needs now is...a line of femme-only surfwear that is both totally "street" and totally "70's" Ummm, whatever. Brazilian dance band CSS' frontwoman Lovefoxxx will be the face of the nonsensical line. [Vogue UK]