silly - Jezebel

posts about #silly more →
But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
Aquarium 1, Cat 0
Mommy, Where Do Abortions Come From?
Gay Nor Good But Great
Escaped Dog Delays Flights • FBI Rescues Sex Slaves

Ships Ahoy
TGIFart

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

SomeAuthorGirl
09/02/09

In reply to But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
Do not insert, indeed! It looks like the scrubby thing under my sink that I never use.
Reply

SomeAuthorGirl was starred SomeAuthorGirl was unstarred

Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
09/02/09

In reply to But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
"What better way to say "I Love You" than with a Golden Spatula (tampon).."
Reply

Ri_L
09/02/09

@Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin): I hope to god I'm not the only one to get your reference.
Reply

Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin) promoted this comment Ri_L was starred Ri_L was unstarred

Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
09/02/09

@Ri_L: hahaha, I'm just happy SOMEBODY got it. :)
Reply

LaComtesse
09/02/09

In reply to But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
Oh. My. God.

So, in a moment of TMI, my mom has been having a LOT of uterine issues of late that have resulted in emergency blood transfusions, a number of invasive procedures, medications, IUDs… none of which have worked 100% in helping abate her problem. She may have to get a hysterectomy (she’s fine with that). When that day comes (or whenever this dreadful problem is taken care of) I am SO GETTING HER THIS. I have absolutely no doubt she will hang it in her office upstairs.
Reply

LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred

CurtCole
09/02/09

@LaComtesse: My mom had that done after she had me, apparently I just tore my way out. That, or she thought I was so ugly that she wanted to close up shop. Anyway, she said it wasn't that bad and even went shopping the next day. But, I've known some people that are out of commission for a few weeks.
Reply

CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred

CurtCole
09/02/09

@CurtCole: Also, that's about the extend of my knowledge of that general area, so no more comments from me on the subject, unless it's about decorating it.
Reply

CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred

LaComtesse
09/02/09

@CurtCole: I've always thought my uterus could use a throw rug from Pottery Barn and some well-placed lamps, so I may call you in for that.
Reply

LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred

sammyg70
09/02/09

@LaComtesse: My mom had a hysterectomy during menopause because she had so many problems. She said it was the best thing she ever did.
Reply

LaComtesse promoted this comment sammyg70 was starred sammyg70 was unstarred

Chamalla,barren crone
09/02/09

@LaComtesse: The surgery itself isn't too big a deal, and the pain is minimal. I was bone tired for about a month, but I had lost a lot of blood previous to my hysterectomy so I was fighting anemia too.
My BFF, who is the single most awesome woman in the world, suggested we make dolls out of all my unused tampons after the surgery, so we did. We were going to sell 'em on Etsy, but we chickened out. I put the entire Sharpie + sequin embellished set in a shadowbox in my bedroom.
Reply

LaComtesse
09/02/09

@sammyg70: :-) Thanks. My mom is ready to go for it herself. She's young--quite possibly not near menopause, but she's SO done.

@Chamalla, now gainfully employed: Oh that's awesome! An interesting find for future archaeologists...
Reply

LaComtesse was starred LaComtesse was unstarred

Flackette Goes Retro
09/02/09

@sammyg70: My mom had her bits out about ten years ago, in her late 40s. She had already been menopausal for over a decade (premature menopause) so it shouldn't have been a huge deal. Unfortunately she had complications caused by doctor error. But one of my best friends had a hysterectomy at 27, and was doing really well just a few days afterward.
Reply

memphreblues
09/02/09

In reply to But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
When I retire from my career as the CEO of Menstruation, I expect one hell of a banquet. My VP of PMS will make a speech that starts off nice, gets a bit edgy three quarters of the way through, but then ends on a good note. I'll get teary when I say goodbye to the Mydol Department, thinking about all the times they pulled me through some awful all-nighters. The Manager of Cramps will not be there- that invite must have gotten lost in the mail...

This is my dream. Take that, glass ceiling.
Reply

Little Green Frog (Wise Latina) promoted this comment memphreblues was starred memphreblues was unstarred

badmutha
09/02/09

In reply to But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
Oh ACK! If someone gave me that I would smash it over their head. Don't tell me a woman came up with that.
Reply

badmutha was starred badmutha was unstarred

hydrogen_jukebox
09/02/09

In reply to But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
What if I achieve above and beyond this? Won't I be eligible for the Platinum Pad?
Reply

hydrogen_jukebox was starred hydrogen_jukebox was unstarred

Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
09/02/09

@hydrogen_jukebox: Or the Diamond Diva?
Reply

sportz.star
09/02/09

In reply to But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
WARNING: Using the Golden Tampon Lifetime Achievement award as a "gag" or surprise gift to any woman who is in process, but has not completed, her lifetime achievement of menstruation may cause physical violence, shouting, hot flashes or disinheritance. Use with caution.
Reply

sportz.star was starred sportz.star was unstarred

lilbobbytables
09/02/09

In reply to But Does It Have The Midas Touch?
I am pretty sure this would be the straw that would make my mother have my involuntarily committed.
Reply

lilbobbytables was starred lilbobbytables was unstarred

sybann
08/20/09

In reply to Aquarium 1, Cat 0
OMG! I thought the result would be MUCH worse and less funny.
Reply

sybann was starred sybann was unstarred

Alohamaid
08/20/09

In reply to Aquarium 1, Cat 0
true story: my cat used to perch on top of the fish tank and stick her paw through the filter and just try madly grabbing hoping a fish would get caught. She never caught one but it was funny as hell.
Reply

mbot says Spock yeah! promoted this comment Alohamaid was starred Alohamaid was unstarred

NerD: Blattella
08/20/09

In reply to Aquarium 1, Cat 0
Coming home to this after spending $300 for school books.

I got lightheaded from laughing.
Reply

NerD: Blattella was starred NerD: Blattella was unstarred

annagsquared
08/20/09

In reply to Aquarium 1, Cat 0
When we first got our cat, Martini, he did that same thing after seeing his reflection in a full-length mirror. In his head, the score was Mirror Cat 1, Martini 0.
Reply

mbot says Spock yeah! promoted this comment annagsquared was starred annagsquared was unstarred

LadySoprano is a Fat-Fighting Superwoman
08/20/09

@annagsquared: Exact same thing happened with my Harley! He ran full-speed into the mirrored closet door. Whoops.
Reply

pond-side-over
08/20/09

In reply to Aquarium 1, Cat 0
"You win again, Perspex!"
Reply

wtfox?! promoted this comment pond-side-over was starred pond-side-over was unstarred

BabyJane
08/20/09

In reply to Aquarium 1, Cat 0
My cat Finn is always doing things like this and then he looks all embarrassed afterward. I'm pretty sure he just needs glasses. (That's what we tell him anyway.)
Reply

Edited by BabyJane at 08/20/09 5:03 PM BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred

wtfox?!
08/20/09

@BabyJane: My creature's name Finn, too! Although he is a dog.

(He also needs glasses; there's a lot of bumbling into things.)
Reply

Edited by wtfox?! at 08/20/09 5:16 PM wtfox?! was starred wtfox?! was unstarred

BabyJane
08/20/09

@wtfox?!: Mine is a Finnegan, but he prefers to be called Finn and since I don't want him to leave hairballs in my shoes, I acquiesce to his wishes.
Reply

BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred

mbot says Spock yeah!
08/20/09

In reply to Aquarium 1, Cat 0
Oh dear. I get the feeling that the owner was taping this because it had happened (multiple times?) before. Brass knuckles next time, kitty. Or a helmet.
Reply

Penny
08/20/09

@mbot says Spock yeah!: Totally. If I owned this cat I would totally film it too.
Reply

Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

Gretchen is a new kitten mom!
08/20/09

@Penny: Our first cat would sleep on top of the TV and always end up falling off. Yeah, we have it on tape.
Reply

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment