sibling survivalries

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Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
Is There Something Extra-Special — And Extra-Stressful — Between Sisters?
The Younger Kardashian Sisters Are In-House Underminers
Are First-Borns More Successful Than Younger Siblings?

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sequined
09/08/09

In reply to Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
My parents were both the youngest of three, and my dad at least definitely felt like the least favorite and had a chip on his shoulder about it. My mom's older brother had been a total golden child, and her sister still is the absolute perfect daughter, so they had similar family dynamics.

As a result (I think), my parents have both always been super sensitive about my younger sister never feeling "left out" or "overlooked."

I don't think her being the youngest affects her personality much, but I do think it affects how my parents interact with her.
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LaMorenita
09/08/09

In reply to Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
I did a group study in college about birth order and feelings of anxiety about going to college. we found that first-borns DO experience greater anxiety, but that the relation was completely explained (at least statistically) by parental anxiety about their first-born children going to college. So, kids were more anxious because their parents were anxious about them! Despite our hypotheses, I personally didn't expect to find any differences. cool eh?
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sequined
09/08/09

@una.perra.andaluza: I wonder too if older kids have more anxiety because they haven't just watched someone else do it.

I am an oldest and wasn't nervous about college, but I remember being super clueless about high school dances because I had never had an older sibling around to observe.

And with driving, another typically-angst-producing milestone, my parents were so stressed about teaching me to drive, and comparatively mellow about my sister. Because they'd already done it and no one had died and things were fine.
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LaMorenita
09/08/09

@sequined: that was how we explained our findings! both for the students and parents.
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sympathyforthebasementcat
09/08/09

In reply to Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
I think it's funny that you use this picture because I come from a large family (not Duggar large though), and as such, birth order conversations seem irrelevant. I've been the youngest, the middle, the relatively oldest. So I've had no prophesy to self-fulfill.
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Anna N.
09/08/09

@sympathyforthebasementcat: It makes sense that family dynamics would be totally different in very large families -- I've heard people with a lot of sibs talk about dividing naturally into groups of "older" and "younger" kids, things like that.
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
09/08/09

In reply to Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
That picture + this topic is cracking me up-- "what typical 17th child behavior!"

But seriously, in my own personal, anecdotal experience, I've found that my social group skews really heavily towards first and only children. It probably doesn't mean much, but it happens often enough that I notice it.
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LaFemme
09/08/09

@Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.: Me too. I have maybe 2 friends that are not oldest children, and everyone I have ever dated has been an oldest or an only.
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Anna N.
09/08/09

@Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.: I'm the older of two, and I used to always gravitate toward oldest or only children. I notice that happening less as I get older though, actually.
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sportz.star
09/08/09

In reply to Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
I had a professor who loved the studies of birth order and prided himself on guessing the birth order of his students based on their classroom/school personalities. He was crushed to learned that I was not an oldest, but a middle, disabusing him of numerous stereotypes and suppositions simply by being me.
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WaltzingMatilda
09/08/09

In reply to Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
My middle born little brother knows his place: born after "Whatsherface" and before "Thatone." Everyone knows where they stand.

The joys of having a mother who can't keep anyone's name straight.
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
09/08/09

@WaltzingMatilda: My dad's classic line was "uhhh...you. You know your name."
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thesciencegirl
09/08/09

In reply to Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
I'm a middle child. My mother regularly said to me as a kid/teen, "We give you less attention because you need it less." I don't know which came first: the lack of attention or my independence.
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EdnasEdibles
09/08/09

@thesciencegirl: I'm a middle child too and that sums me up pretty well. For years at family funerals and weddings I was convinced my actual name was "Oh you have a second daughter? I didn't know that!"
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Penny
09/08/09

In reply to Is Birth Order A "Self-Fulfilling Prophecy"?
I was under the impression that this was the case. I mean, it's pretty silly to assume traits tied up with birth order are innate, isn't it? I am reminded of one of the articles about women's rights from the NYT a few weeks back. It spoke about how, in countries where males are valued over females, being born as the first female is far less dangerous than being the second, as the second is kind of looked at like a "last hope" for a male.
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