shortshorts - Jezebel

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The Worst Toy Of The Year
Who Wears Short-Shorts?
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Lindsay Wears Short-Shorts Night & Day

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JLady
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
Skinny and long-legged yes, but does she come with a cookboook?
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debo matar la zombi goldberry83
02/13/09

@JLady: You can't get the cookbook unless you buy Ken; after all, we wouldn't want to give girls the idea that they should feed themselves!
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Nuckin Futz for you
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
Wow, see I had Barbies growing up but my mom did not buy me Barbie herself. She bought me her teenage sister Skipper and bought Barbie sized clothes for her so the fit better ;-) A slick one my mother. Explains my love of baggy clothes...esp if stolen from my guy. In theory I see nothing wrong with Barbie but I wish the focus was like it was when I was growing up, teacher Barbie, astronaut Barbie. She was heading into the professional world and it was great even with her impossible body. Now its degraded back to skimpy clothes.
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
Collector's Item or no, this is kinda ridiculous. When will they drop the charade and just make the Barbie they *really* want to make: Perfect Woman Barbie. She will be a torso, with huge boobs and a nice rump. Her face will be coated with makeup and she'll have long, blond extensions. Arms and legs? No, because they just add unwanted weight. Psh. Alert me when that one finally comes out.
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Ashley Palko
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
So basically she looks like a regular Dallas cheerleader?
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hellosunshine
02/13/09

@Ashley Palko: Not really. They're thin but really fit, unlike Posh over here.
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laurasaurus
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
I read about this before; for this kind of doll they use the "Model Muse" body, which is skinnier and long-leggier than the regular body. The Next-Top-Model or whatever it is dolls are also in this mould. It's pretty fucking terrifying.
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Nuckin Futz for you
02/13/09

@laurasaurus: Because the already impossible body of Barbie was not what the models try to look like anyway? I guess I wouldn't hate so much but whats going to happen when they make the mold of a plus size model, does she get Barbies old figure?
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Maulleigh
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
Meh, I'm going to play devil's advocate but is this really aimed at children or the collectors market?
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Beat Girl
02/13/09

@Maulleigh: I think someone else pointed out that it's a collector's item doll.

Still, though, marketed at children or not, this is a fucked representation of a human for anyone to dream up.
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babydollhathnofury
02/13/09

@Miss Carrie Nation: I don't think its that serious, its a doll, so what do you expect? Dolls are supposed to look unreal. I was a barbie fanatic growing up and I NEVER wanted to be her in the slightest, or have plastic parts like her no matter how perfect they looked. I honeslty don't remember any of my friends having body issues because of a doll growing up either. I think kids are more impressionable when it comes to whats on TV, magazines, movies, not a doll.
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Beat Girl
02/13/09

@babydoll83: I don't think it's that serious either. I loved Barbies, and it has in no way adversely affected my body image (which I learned from my parents, not my toys).

It is a really peculiar choice to make on behalf of Mattel though, I don't see why they wouldn't have used the original Barbie body shape. They would never have gotten this backlash if they had.
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
02/13/09

@babydoll83: I agree, I never thought of my barbie as a model human, or as anything more to me than a piece of plastic that I could dress up and dismember and reassemble. I was far from a normal kid, but I don't imagine that most girls think that their dolls are meant to be intructive.
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Kenyakarma
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
Hey at least she has brown hair. Step up from the original if your not blonde your not even close to beautiful Barbie.
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Beat Girl
02/13/09

@SweetSerengeti: Lots of Barbies have had various hair colours since the 60s (possibly before).

When i was a kid they had an Irish dancer with red hair. seriously.
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BabyJane
02/13/09

@SweetSerengeti: *Bottle of bleach sold separately.
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Nuckin Futz for you
02/13/09

@Miss Carrie Nation: I loved the hell out of my red haired Barbie, guess its not that much of a suprise I rocked red hair for years!
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BabyJane
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
Gimme' A B
Gimme' An O
Gimme' AN O

What Does It Spell? BOO!
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theysaidwhat
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
The rest of the series will include:

Barefoot and Pregnant Barbie

The Girls Next Door Barbies (boxed set with Hugh Hefner action figure)

Plastic Surgery Barbie, complete with interchangeable body and face parts
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BabyJane
02/13/09

@theysaidwhat: I also prefer their edgy collection, which includes:

The Rock of Love Bus Barbies
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
02/13/09

@BabyJane: With Test-Tube Shot Glasses Included!

*Warning: Small Parts May Pose a Choking Hazard.
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Dottie Gale
02/13/09

@BabyJane: Those are Bratz dolls.
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BabyJane
02/13/09

@Dottie Gale: Ha! Good point. I guess I 'll have to go with my other option then:

Barbie: The Dr. Rey Collection
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philoclea
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
See, I just got a job in Dallas, so I'm sort of tempted...
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hellosunshine
02/13/09

@philoclea: (Congrats and YAY! I love my hometown.)
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TakeADeepBreath
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
I am however, pleased that this TOADY (Toys Oppressive And Destructive to Young Children) award exists.
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SaintNora
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
Am I crazy for not seeing how this is any worse then any other barbie?

Cheerleaders work as hard as any dancer/gymnast, and i don't see how the outfit is more provocative then the "Aerobics Barbie" or even the "Balerina Barbie" that i grew up with.

maybe i am missing something?
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Beat Girl
02/13/09

@SaintNora: Click on the link...she's a different body shape.
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Eeva
02/13/09

@SaintNora:
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Nuckin Futz for you
02/13/09

@Eeva: Is she a relative of Gumby in that picture? Holy Cow!
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kimsama
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
Oh my god, I bought one of these yesterday! Really big head on a twiglike, dessicated body. It was delicious.

Oh, no, wait...that was a lollipop.
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Eeva
02/13/09

@kimsama: Ha! I snorted (in a ladylike way, of course).
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TakeADeepBreath
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
I bet that awful plastic surgery doctor from yesterday could find places where she needs lipo.
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BabyJane
02/13/09

@TakeADeepBreath: And then he'd tell her to do something with that hair!
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meg9
02/13/09

In reply to The Worst Toy Of The Year
I'm SO glad I don't have kids yet. What kind of thoughts spin around a little girl's head when they are playing with these kinds of things? *sigh*
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EkaterinaBallerina
02/13/09

@meg9: Well, I'll say that I actually loved Barbie as a kid. But I hated her body. Her shoes never stayed on her goddamn feet.
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Beat Girl
02/13/09

@EkaterinaBallerina: I loved Barbie as a kid, too, and I grew up to be as body image healthy as I could hope.

As for Barbie's body, I loved it... because it was great to chew on and ping the limbs off of.
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kimsama
02/13/09

@Miss Carrie Nation: Yeah, I want to say I spent a lot of time burning off my Barbies' hair, throwing them onto the roof ("Barbie Olympics"), and smashing their limbs to make them fit into my model cars, but not really any time considering the sexist implications their objectified bodies represented.

@meg9: Not saying Barbie isn't sexist, just saying if you're a conscientious, intelligent woman (as you are, because you're thinking about this), your kids will probably be creative, vivacious, and full of self-confidence and piss and vinegar that no lame doll can destroy or subvert.
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