1.) Synergy
Jon Gosselin's answer when asked for his thoughts on the Balloon Boy hoax:



We're thinking that Balloon Boy might give the same exact answer when asked for his thoughts on Jon Gosselin wiping out his family's bank account.

2.) Tricia Walsh-Smith threatened to walk off The Insider.
She didn't understand that people were telling her that she is smart.

BTW, why does The Insider consider Marla Maples part of "The Real First Wives Club"?

3.) "Tardy for the Party" is based on a true story.

Kim might have another hit on her hands, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel.

4.) A different type of tardy at the party
I love Kim's wasted face.

5.) The best excuse for tardiness
Courtesy of Bridezillas

6.) Spry seniors
Larry King's promo picture for his blog is awesome.

And this week, Elizabeth Taylor took Paris and Prince Jackson to Universal Studios theme park.

7.) Courtney Cox was a menstruation pioneer.

8.) What Al Reynolds is up to now
Musical theater-y things, regurgitating, and not being normal. His words, not mine.

9.) Tyra colonic
Last Friday, Tyra featured a colonic on her stage, which the host claimed was the First! Ever! Televised! Colonic! Except it wasn't. I remember Dave Navarro getting one on his reality show about his marriage to Carmen Electra. Tyra also said that a colonic was "the opposite of diarrhea." In fact, a colonic is the opposite of that. It is diarrhea, and it drips down your leg.

10.) A lesson on life from Judge Judy

The executives at New Line Cinema can't wait to take more hard-earned cash from women who don't care about storyline and just want to see something about dating and love — again!

That's why there is a project in the works called Valentine's Day. It will hit theaters right before — wait for it — Valentine's Day, 2010. The plot? The plot is iffy. Something about "would-be romantics working their way through a tangle of circumstances in L.A." But that doesn't matter, because Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel and Shirley MacLaine will be in it. And Bradley Cooper. New Line will come up with a way to work a story around these people, since all that matters is that there's money to be made. Apparently, He's Just Not That Into You proved that women want to go see "romantic" movies — with other women or a date — right around Valentine's Day.

I have nothing against romance, comedies, or romcoms. I love stuff like When Harry Met Sally, Flirting, and Amelie — thoughtful films with strong writing and characters who are forces of nature. But He's Just Not That Into You — a movie based on a self-help book based on a catchphrase from a TV show — lacked substance and soul; the characters might have well have been cardboard cut-outs with labels like "The Optimist" or "The Seductress" taped to them. And for every bad review, there was a person who said, "I'm gonna see it anyway." Now the studio has 94 million reasons to pull that shit again.

As I wrote earlier this year, when you go see a movie like He's Just Not That Into You, you're casting a vote, telling Hollywood you want more flicks in the same vein. And this is what HJNTIY's box office bonanza hath wrought: Valentine's Day. As a former screenwriting major, it is painful to read that this project is being dictated by a calendar date — along with a cast and director (Garry Marshall) — and not by an actual story someone was inspired to write.

Who knows? Maybe there will be some surprises! Maybe they'll change the title to Single Awareness Day. Maybe some great writer (writers, plural, probably) will be hired by the studio to come up with a perfectly charming Valentine's Day tale. (I can already guess that one woman, who you think will stay single, will suddenly find a date; one woman, who you think will have a date, will suddenly be single; and one couple will remain together despite going through a dilemma that should tear them apart.) But for now, I'm already announcing that I'm just not that into it.

Hollywood Has Feb. 14 Circled in Red [NY Times]

Earlier: Liveblogging He's Just Not That Into You
Cliché-Laden Chick Flick Tries To Convince You It's Not Full Of Clichés
He's Just Not That Into You: Gay Minstrel Show?
More Reasons Not To Get Into He's Just Not That Into You
He's Just Not That Into You - First Review
There's No Way You'll Be Into He's Just Not That Into You

[Hamburg, September 15. Images via Splash.]

On being a Chanel fan:

"I started wearing her clothes — but they were knock-offs — when I was in my 20s and 30s because they worked for daytime or nighttime. I had knock-offs of everything she made and wore them everywhere. Audrey Hepburn turned me on to Chanel, and she told me that I should play Coco too."

On Karl Lagerfeld, whom she has never met:

"He wanted me to come to Paris for a fitting, but I am sorry. No. If he takes off his sunglasses and the gloves, maybe I'll go to Paris."

• Elle UK is, for some reason, all agog over the 20-year-old celeb spawn, who they say has had some kind of chic makeover since turning 20. "It's official. We have a new style crush here at ELLE in the shape of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' daughter Rumer." Well, to each her own, we say! [ElleUK]
• Rihanna models a look from Kanye West's new "Pastelle" clothing line. It kind of looks like she's wearing her dad's sweatshirt. [The Life Files]
• Designer John Varvatos (recently known for taking over punk emporium CBGB in New York and turning it into a high-end boutique) has a new baby girl: Thea. [P6]
• Remember that community garden Forever21's destroying in L.A.? It gets worse: "It's the former site of the South Central Farm - "where low-income, indigenous/immigrant Latino farmers grew food in the midst of a toxic industrial area for 14 years." Wait, Forever21's not an ethical company? But it's so cheap! [Feministe]

• Simon Doonan does his part for the economy with the new Barney's Catalog, which is centered around a narrative called "Emma's Dilemma." As Emma, model Coco Rocha is torn between two men and various luxury goods. '"The theme is, 'Oh just buy both,'" said Doonan, adding that even though the economy is fragile, the catalogue's message is right for these times. "Embedded in there is permission to be a little self-indulgent. It's a bit of glamorous self-indulgence." [WWD]
• Speaking of Cocos, the new Lifetime miniseries about Coco Chanel blows. "Shirley McLaine plays the "older" Chanel to Barbara Bobulova's younger incarnation, with the two apparently bearing "no resemblance to one another other than they both like a well-cut suit". [VogueUK]
• Narciso Rodriguez on the recession: “The economy is such that it’s a tough moment for everyone. We are happy we haven’t decreased the business in any way, but the company usually grows like 20 percent every year, and that hasn’t happened. We are trudging through this Bush mess and looking forward to the next steps.” They're also looking forward to a new fragrance. [WWD]
• Nautica, not an official Olympic sponsor, scores best product placement of the Beijing games: on Misty May-Treanor's forehead. [NYP]
• With back-to-school sales continuing to disappoint, retailers entice the young, predator-style, over the internet. Take Kohl's, who's selling a new line on Stardoll.com, "a virtual community for teens and tweens where kids can fork over "Stardollars" — purchased online at a nominal sum — to buy apparel for their online characters." It seems like, implicitly, retailers are hoping kids to a little clandestine shopping behind their penny-pinching parents' backs...[WSJ]
• Those "detox foot pads" that soak up all your toxins herbally and turn black overnight? Apparently they're frauds. [NPR]
• Foundering chain Steve and Barry's creditors probe a suspect $5 million loan. [WSJ]
• Gap pursues scorched earth policy, firing almost all its Euro designers. "The global chain will axe its European fashion design team from September, and is moving its advertising team to its US headquarters. It will, however, retain an in-house design team working on store design, visual merchandising and in-store events." [MediaBistro]
• Fendi makes hideous $575 patent hightop. Looks kind of like a 19th century work boot, only not a all utilitarian. [The Life Files]
• You know times are tough when even Target 's profits are down. [WWD]
• A California woman designs modest "halal" swimwear that covers the body. '"I understand most people are accustomed to not seeing a lot of clothing on the beach or in the water," Sabet said. "We don't want to look like freaks or stick out like sore thumbs for being so covered up on the beach, but I wanted to help make water activity accessible to Muslim women."' [UPI]
• Nearly "1,000 bra makers protested outside the German embassy in Bangkok on Tuesday in a labor dispute stemming from the vexed issue of whether Thais have the right not to stand up in honor of King Bhumibol Adulyadej." Basically, a union leader was sacked for wearing a politically-charged tee asserting her right to remain seated during the anthem, which is played before movies. It's an issue because the king has been traditionally been perceived as a semi-divinity and this view is meeting with increasing resistence. The bra company then fired her to avoid making waves; hence the protest. [Reuters]
• Mini courts the "creative class of New York" with its rooftop Fashion Week happening, '"curated" by
  Jefferson Hack, along with a performance by MGMT. ' [WWD]
• Model Gemma Ward "officially retiring" to pursue acting. [Sassybella]
• Vena Cava/Via Spiga (try saying that one five times fast) collaborate on capsule collection that could well be rad. [WWD]

[Malibu, January 6. Image via x17]

Movies

• Cate Blanchett, I'm Not There: Cate plays one of four Bob Dylans in this avant garde semi-biopic. She's mid-60s Bob — after he went electric but before he became born again. She is playing a dude, and a dude who wasn't always good to women (see Baez, Joan), but since there's no "douche/genius" category, we'll have to go with...Verdict: Ok!
  
• Ruby Dee, American Gangster: Ruby plays gangster Frank Lucas's long suffering mother in this story of a black gangster who corners the Harlem heroin trade in the 70s. She lives off Frank's drug largess despite knowing his cash is ill-gotten. Despite one scene at the end where she slaps her son across the face...Verdict: Doormat
  
• Catherine Keener, Into the Wild: Didn't see it but cribbed this from the NYT
  review: "carefree and careworn" surrogate parental figure to wilderness wanderer hero, Chris. She sounds independent and kooky! Verdict: Ok!
  
• Amy Ryan, Gone Baby Gone: Ryan plays an alcoholic mother whose child is kidnapped. Hm, going to have to go with...Verdict: Victim
  
• Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton: Emotionally distant powerhouse lawyer orders the death of the title character when she realizes that he might ruin her reputation. She's sort of a doormat when it comes to the whims of the evil corporation Swinton is working for, but I think she's essentially... Verdict: Ok!

Television

• Ellen Burstyn, Mitch Albom's For One More Day: Dead mom/ghost helps her troubled son figure his life out. The wikipedia description says the Burstyn character saved the family with her love. Ew. Sounds like she was kind of...Verdict: Doormat
  
• Debra Messing, The Starter Wife: Her Hollywood hotshot husband leaves her for a Britney (pre K-Fed) doppleganger. At first she falls apart, but then through the support of her friends she falls for a hot homeless dude. Since she only realizes that her life is vapid and overly botoxed when she's dumped, I say...Verdict: Victim
  
• Anna Paquin, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: Paquin plays a 19th century schoolteacher who tries to improve life for Indians on a reservation. Sounds like a tough broad. Verdict: Ok!
  
• Queen Latifah, Life Support: Queen plays a mother who overcomes a crack-addiction to become a positive role model and activist. Probably a little schlocky, but basically...Verdict: Ok!
  
• Vanessa Redgrave, The Fever: Redgrave is a woman gets involved in politics with no previous contact with world events. Down with societal apathy! Verdict: Ok!
  
• Gena Rowlands, What if God Were the Sun?: Quick-witted terminally ill patient helps change another woman's outlook on life. Terminally ill? Ugh. Verdict: Victim
  
• Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty: HBIC at fictional Mode Magazine, Vanessa plays a conniving and immaculately coiffed baddie. Even though she torments adorable Betty, she's pretty much...Verdict: Ok!

  *Caveat: we haven't seen many of these movies/shows, so if our snap judgments are incorrect, holler and let us know!

  Nominations Announced For The 14th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards [SAG Awards]
  Earlier: The Golden Globe Nominees: No Hookers, But Lots Of Victims