[Shiloh's shades! Click to enlarge. Additional shot below. Los Angeles, July 20. Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

In the December issue of Vogue, Angelina Jolie promotes her upcoming film The Tourist, calls Brad Pitt "sexy" and "handsome," and tells a weird story about Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and a dead bird.

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I tip the celebrity weeklies after gorging on gossip. This week, when Shiloh isn't tearing Brad and Angie apart, she's clawing at Zahara. And Ashton totally made out with some blonde.

[Tokyo, July 25: Stylish jet-setters hit the airport, setting off an international squee. Image via Splash.]

In the new issue of Vanity Fair, Angelina Jolie talks about acting, family, Brad Pitt and, of course, daughter Shiloh and her penchant for masculine fashion.

• Jessica Alba is pregnant! The father is boyfriend Cash Warren. Congrats? It's kind of worrying that they're on-again-off-again, sigh. Good luck, kids. [People]
  
• Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell supposedly pointed to Victoria" Posh Spice" Beckham's tummy during a show and allegedly said, "She's pregnant." Hahahahahaha,…

Welcome to Midweek Madness, our weekly binge on the sort of celebrity content we usually try so fastidiously to avoid every other day of the week. In which we "read" the Wednesday tabs. So you don't "have" to.

Welcome to Midweek Madness — our weekly gagazine fest with Intern Maria, who always wears cute outfits and makes us scared to leave the house looking like we do —in which we "read" the weekly tabloid magazines. So you don't "have" to.

Welcome to Midweek Madness, our weekly orgy of celebrity tabloid gossip, weight fluctuations and bad outfits. In which we "read" the Wednesday celeb weeklies. So you don't "have" to.