Unfortunately, I'm going to have call shenanigans on Taylor Swift for her latest song and video, "You Belong To Me," wherein she perpetuates the tiiiiiiiired stereotype that girls who read books, play in the band, and wear glasses are big old losers who spend their nights dreaming about the slightly douchey football star who, of course, is dating the bitchy, pretty cheerleader. After pining over the hunk for most of the video, she finally shows him that he does, in fact, belong with her, by—-wait for it—taking off her glasses and revealing that she's actually a total babe at the school dance. Because everyone knows that the difference between hot and not is a pair of specs, no? See for yourself:





Can we cut the bullshit here, Swift? This shit was lame and tired when I was in high school, 10 years ago, when Rachael Leigh Cook, also beautiful, put on a pair of glasses and was pegged as a total geek in "She's All That." Of course, after a makeover, she was the belle of the ball. Teenage girls constantly have this this dumbass fairy tale down their throats, led to believe that a makeover is all it takes to feel good about oneself and attract the kind of guy worth dating. It also pushes the idea that the cheerleader girl is a stupid shallow bitch who doesn't "deserve" the hot guy. It's always about trashing the other girl instead of focusing on the fact that the dude might just be a shallow jerk. It's wrong and stupid and stereotypical and misleading and frankly I think we're all a bit tired of it.

Here's some advice, teenage girls: if a dude only wants to date you because you've taken off your glasses and dolled yourself up enough to compete with his cheerleader girlfriend, kick him to the curb. It's not worth selling yourself out to someone else's standard of beauty to date some superficial jerk. Yes, high school is rough, and yes, looks play into it a lot, but trust me: beauty does not come from a dress or a pair of contacts or a trip to the salon. It comes from knowing yourself and loving yourself and all of that good stuff. Perhaps instead of wishing a boy would see you in your glamorous glory, you should try to surround yourself with people who see you for who you are, and think you're beautiful no matter what.

Oh, and just wait until you see Hunky McHighschool five years after graduation. You'll be glad that you had your awesome specs on to see right through him.

Ladies, do you ever feel less than perfect? Want a chance to "celebrate the female body" whilst perfecting your own? Well perhaps you should sign up for Operation Perfect, the site that preaches positive body image and female empowerment while promising boob jobs and photo shoots with FHM photographers. Is your head banging on your desk yet? Just wait! There's more! According to the founders:

"The purpose of Operation Perfect is to help all women around the world to feel more beautiful, more sexy and more appreciated. We will do all in our power to make every woman, attending the Operation Perfect program, perfect." Inside all women, there is a shining star. We are just helping to bring it out. We want to thank all beautiful girls out there who have already shown so much interest in the project, by contacting us, sending in pictures and more! We all together have made this project come true!

Now listen. I understand that many people do find a sense of confidence and happiness through cosmetic surgery. But this website is so many shades of wrong that Crayola couldn't even come up with a big enough box.

The site features scantily clad women who want you, the viewer, to donate to their plastic surgery dreams, under the website's notion that the female body is something to be enjoyed and celebrated...through random strangers donating money so that it can be surgically altered and displayed under headings like "Top 10 Bikini" and "Top 10 Topless."

The women pose in Maxim-esque shots, showing off their "imperfect" bodies while listing the surgery changes they hope to make, in order to "perfect" themselves. "Charlie," for example, poses in black underwear and high heels, claiming she wants to go from a 36C to a 36DD. "I'm 28 years old, and I'm coming from Sweden," she writes, "Please make your donation to me. Big or small. Maybe it's you who are the lucky one to eat dinner with me in Beverly Hills. Big kisses, Charlie."

The dinner "Charlie" refers to, of course, is the "prize" (so many air quotes, I know, but again: I'm in Miss Hannigan mode) given to the men who donate to the site:

The lucky girls who are picked for the OperationPerfect programme, will be sent to Los Angeles, California for a free plastic surgery! They will also receive an exclusive photo shoot by famous photographers! (with history from Playboy, FHM, Runway and more), a test shoot for magazine cover, gold access to some of the hottest clubs in Los Angeles and free beauty products and treatments!

The lucky guys who wins by casting their donation or vote, will be sent to Los Angeles, California for a two nights unforgettable hotel stay! Gold access will be provided to some of the hottest clubs and an exclusive evening dinner with the winning girl will be offered! The winner will also receive free beauty products and treatments!

The site reads like a shady porn site masquerading as a place for female empowerment: the women are displayed like auction items to be bid on, prizes to be won, under this ridiculous notion that all the creators of the site truly want to to is celebrate the female body and make women feel good about themselves. Because nothing makes a girl feel better than having to go to dinner with Shady McPhee in Los Angeles, who will spend the entire night talking about the boobs he helped purchase for you, on the internet, before you head off to your FHM photo shoot, am I right? I mean, come on ladies!

Perhaps if the creators of the site truly want to "bring out the shining star" in every woman, they'd realize that perfection does not come through surgical procedures, photo shoots, and for fuck's sake, it doesn't come from 2 nights in a Beverly Hills hotel. The rage I feel for the creators of this site (which also reeks of scam, btw) is balanced only by the sadness I feel toward those women who upload their pictures in the hopes of being judged and chosen: one gets the sense that they may truly believe they're going to get the surgery they think will change their lives, when it's fairly clear that the majority of the women on the site are only there to provide visual stimulation to the "voters" at home.

To say that Operation Perfect is a complete disaster is an understatement: one wishes that instead of monetary donations, we could send the "surgery girls" a few reminders: namely, that external alterations aren't always the cures to self-esteem issues that society makes them out to be, and that perfection is a big dumb lie, an impossible standard that can't be reached, no matter how much surgery one has.

[Operation Perfect (NSFW)]

Burger King Under Fire For Whopper Virgins Taste Test Challenge [Telegraph]

Perhaps the most annoying thing to come out of the economic crises are the stupid articles that keep appearing in publications like The New York Times, wherein a fairly well-off person marvels at the deals he or she can find when they shop like the poors at the dollar stores and Kmarts of the world. Even more infuriating is the idea that $238.40 for one dumb party is some sort of economic success, considering that many families in this country can barely afford to put food on the table.

Here is how Williams begins his article: "I heard a jingle. No, it wasn’t an angel getting its wings. It was my iPhone, carrying word that David Monn, the celebrated New York event planner, was on his way to meet me at Kmart." Ok, first of all? If you're that dude that always has to drop the fact that you own an iPhone, your credibility, as far as this "OMG budget!" life is concerned, is pretty much shot.

Of course, Williams makes it a point to point out that his West Village apartment is "dingy" and that his "plaster is peeling", as if that lends him some street cred as far as budgetary strains are concerned. He is shocked by Monn's suggestion that he serve his guests potatoes for dinner, and claims that watching "Mr. Monn reinvent the humble wares of Kmart," into a Winter Wonderland theme, "was like seeing Gabriel García Márquez channel Martha Stewart. He showed a magic-realist’s ability to stare down endless aisles of Crock-Pots, diapers and circular saws, and conjure an ice palace of czarist proportions." Yes! Because only a magical realist could walk into the crap factory that is Kmart and walk out with some decent party ideas.

I'm sure that Williams meant well, but the point is this: for many people across the country, a trip to the dollar store or Kmart isn't some amazing sociological experiment: it's everyday life. And to continue to publish crap like this shows, once again, that the Times, while reporting unemployment rates and layoffs on the front page, still doesn't quite get the plight of the average American when it comes to trends and styles. I suppose this simply speaks to a target demographic, which is understandable, but every "recession chic" article that goes up just reinforces the divide between those who feel that a $238.40 party is a steal and those who have to live on $238.40 on a weekly basis.

Do you have any advice for Williams for his next "budget" party? I'm sure we could come up with cheaper ways to celebrate with friends, no?

We're Gonna Party Like Its 1929[NYTimes]

Now listen: many of us have fallen for the 80's fashion revival. Leggings, leg warmers, and pieces of chunky neon plastic jewelry have all touched our sense of nostalgia and ended up in closets across the country. And now, American Apparel, the store that seems hell-bent on returning us to a time when paisley stirrup pants were considered to be a good idea, has launched a line of acid wash jeans in several colors, ensuring that hipsters can rock the ironic hell out of A.C. Slater's busted-up hand-me-downs.

Let me repeat that, okay? American Apparel is selling acid wash jeans. In several colors. Is there no end to this madness? What next? NOT t-shirts? Hammer pants? Paula Abdul limited edition LA Gears? I understand that fashion is cyclical, but aren't there certain pieces that should be left in the past? Are we going to have to start wearing our pants backwards, Kriss Kross style?

To make things worse, it's not just American Apparel that's riding the acid wash train; Urban Outfitters and even Target are also selling the heinous relics, which means that the fad is here and most likely won't be leaving any time soon. I suppose it speaks to the weird nature of fashion: those of us who lived through the first round of acid-wash madness can't help but see the nastiness in the jeans, yet kids who were too young for Round One might just see them as awesome retro pants to wear with their "I heart Edward Cullen 4-Eva" t-shirts.

I realize that fads and trends are beyond me: people will see these jeans, love these jeans, and wear these jeans all over town. And all you have to do to sidestep a trend, really, is to not buy into it, no matter how popular it gets. Will acid wash jeans be the only pants available for the next few months? Of course not. But they'll be around for a while, anyway, until people once again turn their noses up at the speckled denim and move on to the next trend or resurrection.

And so acid wash jeans will have their short-lived day in the sun, before they disappear for another twenty years, lost to time and good sense and evolving fashions. And just like in every horror movie ever, when that blissful twenty-year time period is up, the kids will think they can make the old acid wash work, and the old acid wash will return in its most horrifying form to wreak havoc on closets and dressers across the nation, until they lose their power once more and fade into oblivion.

But they'll never ever die, for everyone likes a good horror story now and then.