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signature psychoses
30 Rock's Tina Fey Is An Intuitive, Acquisitive, Self-Deceiver
Even though there was a Feyvelanche of Tina interviews when Baby Mama came out last month, did we really learn anything about her? Sure, her face was on the cover of Marie Claire, but the interview inside was a farce (example, "Amy Poehler: Is your name Karen Felcher? Tina Fey: Um, no, although I can see why you're confused, because that is my porn name."). We decided to sic graphologist Sheila Kurtz on Tina's handwritten American Express ad to analyze her penmanship and tell us about the real woman underneath all that sharply-perfected snark. Apparently, our Tina is sensitive to criticism, intuitive, analytical, practical, not impulsive and just a leeetle self-deceiving. A full analysis of Tina's psyche is after the jump. More » -
signature psychoses
Heroes' Sexy Kristen Bell Has The Handwriting Of A Hermit; Kidnapper
Just how many blondes are there on the show Heroes? And how many of them have been on the cover of Cosmopolitan over the past year? I don't know the answer to that first question — I've never watched the show — but as to the second, the answer is, three. (Someone at NBC primetime publicity is giving his/her bosses their money's worth.) In October, we saw Ali Larter; in April there was Hayden Panettiere; and now, come May, we've got Kristen Bell. The 28-year-old actress, like her predecessors, is not only subject to a short cover profile but the magazine's 'Cosmo Quiz', in which she fills out a questionnaire about her likes and dislikes... and gives us a reason have her handwriting analyzed by graphologist Sheila Kurtz. So how does Kristen come off? The short answer: she's extremely protective, ambitious, intuitive and decent. As for the long answer, well, all that's after the jump. More » -
signature psychoses
Dear Cosmo Girl Hayden "Heroes" Panettiere: "Better To Be The Turtle Than The Hare"
It's almost spring, so it's probably fitting that Cosmopolitan has decided to put Heroes actress Hayden Panettiere on the cover of its April issue (right next to the words "SEX GENIUS" in 64-point type!). Not only is Panettiere a budding star — after she gets her first big, silver-screen role her handlers will no doubt go after the cover of the glossier, more respected Glamour — and a budding adult (she's just 18), but, according to graphologist Sheila Kurtz, she's got "buds of an imagination, but no apparent follow through." (Ouch?) After the jump, Kurtz weighs in on the actress' handwriting, as seen on the "Cosmo Quiz" accompanying Hayden's newly-released cover story. More » -
signature psychoses
Cosmo Girl Rihanna: "Solitary & Self-Involved"
Grammy-winner Rihanna is the March Cosmopolitan cover girl! Unfortunately, she shares the space with a huge pink VA-JAY-JAY. Poor thing. Her parents probably won't want to frame that. Anyway, the singer filled out the "Cosmo Quiz," writing that, if she wasn't a singer she'd love to be a pilot, and that her purse is filled with "a bunch of unnecessary shit." Just like us! But we wanted to delve deeper, so we sent her handwriting to graphology expert Sheila Kurtz, who determined that the 19-year-old (born Robyn Rihanna Fenty in Barbados) can be "solitary and self-involved" but also "outgoing" and "detail-oriented." More expert analysis, after the jump. More » -
signature psychoses
Decoding Cosmo Cover Girl Katie Heigl: "She Refuses To Waste Time With Convoluted Crap"
Katherine Heigl didn't seem to take the "Cosmo Quiz" — the written Q&A actresses are forced to take to qualify as a Cosmopolitan cover subject — very seriously. For most of the questions, such as "I think it's sexy when a guy..." and, "My favorite male co-star has been..." she circled all five multiple choice options the magazine's editors provided. Um, did they not teach you the difference between superior and superlative in America's Sweetheart preparatory academy, Katie? Or is it just because you don't take many things that seriously at all? (Here's Katie regarding her dis on Isiah Washington: "You can't give me too much credit for being brave. I was just a girl who had had a couple of drinks and was angry and got mouthy. I really did think if would fuck me.") We'll leave the handwriting-shrinking to our inimitable penmanship analyst Sheila Kurtz, who sees a great many admirable qualities — and perhaps a few stray self-destructive ones? — in Katie's answers to such questions as "I am sometimes mistaken for..." (A: "myself...that's awkward"!) More » -
signature psychoses
Cosmo Girl Hilary Duff: Intuitive, Practical And Younger Than She Looks
Happy (early) New Year! For its January issue, Cosmopolitan interviews singer/actress Hilary Duff, who talks about her hockey player boyfriend, becoming an adult, and how obsessing about weight just leads to unhappiness. (Something we could all do well to remember.) Not exactly enticing stuff, to be sure, but, as usual, there's another begging-to-be-analyzed, accompanying handwritten "Cosmo Quiz" alongside Hilary's profile. After the jump, graphologist Sheila Kurtz takes a look at the starlet's handwriting so we can better "understand" the young woman behind the lavender Gaultier halter-top dress. More » -
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signature psychoses
Cosmo Girl Beyonce Knowles: Detail-Oriented, Thoughtful, Possibly Power-Hungry
It's been a while since our last Signature Psychoses, and that's because Cosmopolitan, the magazine we've come to know and rely on for celebrity scribblings, suddenly wasn't serving them up anymore. What a difference a month makes! For its December issue, Cosmo is back with both a celebrity cover model - Beyonce Knowles — and an accompanying "Cosmo Quiz", in which the singer/actress answers cutesy questions by hand. (Interestingly, Beyonce is also appearing in a print ad for American Express that features a hand-written questionnaire.) Not surprisingly, (and as usual), the "Cosmo Quiz" isn't particularly illuminating, so we went back to handwriting expert Sheila Kurtz and asked her to do some stylnalysis on it, and the AmEx ad. What she found: The Dreamgirls star is imaginative, ambitious, self-reliant, but maybe not so quick on the draw. After the jump, images from both surveys and Sheila's analysis. More » -
signature psychoses
'Cosmo' Cover Girl Ali Larter: Self-Involved, Stubborn, Easily Distracted
Analyzing handwriting is fun! And once again, it's time for an analysis of Cosmopolitan's "Cosmo Quiz". See, every month "The #1 Women's Magazine" includes a spread of illuminating scribbles donated by that month's cover girl. Up for October: Heroes actress Ali Larter. After the jump, our favorite graphologist, Sheila Kurtz, weighs in on Larter, who may be more like the sexy, self-involved,"Jessica" side of her on-screen split personality than the nurturing, selfless "Niki". (Proving what we've long said about women named Jessica.) More » -
signature psychoses
'Cosmo' Cover Girl Jessica Alba: Emotionally Unavailable, Intuitive, Creatively Unfulfilled
Analyzing handwriting is fun! And while we were all set to have the chicken scratches in Lucky analyzed, we were informed by a Lucky rep that, sadly, staffers do not actually pen the purple-prose laden "Editor's Picks" in every issue. (That "honor" goes to the magazine's art directors). Such is not the case in Cosmopolitan, however. Every month "The #1 Women's Magazine" includes a spread of illuminating scribbles that are, in fact, donated by that month's cover girl for the magazine's "Cosmo Quiz". After the jump, graphologist Sheila Kurtz weighs in on the September Cosmo cover girl, Jessica Alba, the type of woman we love to hate but who, in reality, may be down-to-earth and pretty decent. More » -
signature psychoses
Does 'Teen Vogue' Editor Amy Astley Let Anna Wintour Sign Her Name For Her?
In September 2000 Amy Astley, then a beauty editor at Vogue, wrote a story about saying "ciao to hanging hair" and cutting a "chic, sleek bob." Know any other editor with a chic, sleek bob, folks? In short, Amy — now the editor-in-chief of Teen Vogue — takes her hairstyle cues from Anna Wintour, which is appropriate for someone who's invariably described by people close to and at arms-length from her as a more of a "figurehead" than an actual editor. (Another oft-used description: "bitch.") As the great helmswoman of the Vogue megabrand, Wintour essentially calls the shots at Astley's magazine, from cover subjects to "strategic direction," leaving Astley to go about the important business of pretending she runs the magazine for the sake of viewers of The Hills. So perhaps Wintour also signs Astley's name for her! After all, as graphologist Sheila Kurtz puts it, Astley's "penmanship" suggests (improbably!) someone who would "go after [opportunity] without anyone else's OK." More »
sheila kurtz
New York, 1:25 AM
Wed Dec 3
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