• As part of her I Don't Give A Damn About My Disney Reputation World Tour 2010, Miley Cyrus shocked the audience of Britain's Got Talent by "simulating a lesbian kiss" on stage:

• Austrian Richard Lugner, a "quirky 77-year-old entrepreneur known for his young girlfriends and appearances on reality TV," has asked Lindsay Lohan to be his date for the Vienna Opera Ball next month.

• Penelope Cruz, who is rumored to be engaged to Javier Bardem, showed up to the premiere of Pedro Almódovar's Broken Embraces in New York on Sunday with a knuckle-sized sapphire surrounded by small diamonds on her ring finger. [People]

Welcome back to Missdemeanors, in which we issue virtual wrist-slaps to popular gossip bloggers for Crimes Against Womanity. According to these numbnuts, Samantha Ronson is a "man," Paris Hilton's lady bits are toxic waste equivalents, and Shauna Sand's vagina looks like a "badly packed suitcase." WTF Does that even…