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Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict

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Nuckin Futz for you
12/22/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
I'm sorry I just dont understand the point of these. I want to feel sexy when I dress up. I do not feel sexy rolled up like a sausage. I feel a lot sexier in a lacy bra and lacy boyshort underwear. And if I can not snag the man I want unless I am stuffed into some archaic looking underwear he wasn't worth my time. Luckily I have a guy that loves me jiggles and all. Ladies...they will eventually see you without all this constricting underwear anyway might as well get used to it.
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CHEZ
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
My husband and I spent our wedding night taking photos of me posing "seductively" around our hotel room wearing only the stick-on nu-bra and chest-high, knee-length Spanx that I had to wear all day under my dress. I knew that morning, as I stuck on those cups, yanked up those flesh-colored bike-shorts, and cut a slit in crotch of the Spanx for ease of use in the bathroom (my mother insisted), that he'd find my under-garment situation to be incredibly hilarious.
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robot_devil
12/19/08

@CHEZ: dude, awesome. i wore THE SAME undergarments for my wedding (well, not the full-on bikeshorts because they came up too high/down too low & would've been seen under/above my dress) and there is an entire series of pictures from the end of the hotel after-party of me and a couple friends adhering the sticky bra boobs onto different parts of our bodies/faces. oh gross. we were really, really drunk.
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SkipToMyLou
12/19/08

@robot_devil: Were you wearing a really low-cut, really mini-skirt wedding dress? So low-cut you couldn't wear a bra, with a skirt so short you couldn't stick bike shorts underneath? That is bold .
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SkipToMyLou
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
I love Flexees body briefers. It's kind of like wearing a swimsuit underneath your clothes. And it can't roll anywhere .

[www.maidenform.com]

Dammit, one day I'll learn to post pictures in my comments. PM me, anyone?
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mbot says Spock yeah!
12/19/08

@SkipToMyLou: But then.... do you have to take off all your clothes to pee? How does that work?
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SkipToMyLou
12/19/08

@mbot: Hooks like a bra at the crotch.
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blowmynose
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
If you're about to fuck someone, just go to the bathroom and remove your underwear, stuff them in your purse. Everyone wins!
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Catpain Blackudder
12/19/08

@blowmynose: I dunno, dude. My most effective ass-squashing thing is a pair of compression running shorts, and every time I take them off I could just about keel over from the funkiness. I once made the mistake of putting my foot up on the dashboard and nearly passed out.

Granted, this is also after I run in them, but a similar product worn for five hours at a summer wedding just might be equally bad.
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Jamie Sommers
12/19/08

@Catpain Blackudder: Well, you're in the bathroom, so couldn't you just do a quick paper towel wash?
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denna
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
I am guilty of having an entire drawer of shapewear. I have two waist cinchers, a Spanx bodysuit with legs, one without legs, and a bunch of control top pantyhose. Shapewear isn't my favorite thing, but I find that is a necessity for professional wear.

Of course, the minute I get home I peel those fuckers off.
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Haystacks
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
Solution=clothes that fit. Some one hand me my Nobel Peace Prize.
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CrossWord
12/19/08

@Haystacks: See, now I think that these babies have a place. A small one. I got a really cute sweater dress that fits perfectly, but any sort of undies would have shown and ruined the line. So it wasn't like I was trying to suck my body into an unnatural shape, I just needed to keep it smoove.
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Jessi Ramsey
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
how about the money being spent on girdles, spanx and control tops could be put toward going to a tailor who could mend your clothing to fit more to your form.
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denna
12/19/08

@Jessi Ramsey: I understand what you're saying, I do. But I am a lady of size, and just tailoring will not help my tummy jiggle.

My self esteem is so low, especially in regards to my appearance that shapewear makes me feel confident and in control. I know it makes me a bad feminist, but it might as well be my safety blanket.
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LaFemme
12/19/08

@Jessi Ramsey: Eh, it really depends on the garment. I just had 80 bucks worth of alterations done on an evening gown and although the dress fits perfectly, my small stomach pooch will still show because it is bias-cut satin which emphasizes every little roll or bump. The tailor cant do anything to fix that, though some pantyhose can.
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brendastarlet is on it
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
Remember the scene in Love, Actually with the granny panties?
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Jamie Sommers
12/19/08

@brendastarlet is on it: With Laura Linney?
Or are you thinking of Bridget Jones' Diary?
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Tart of Darkness
12/19/08

@Jamie Sommers: I'm thinking of Bridget JOnes' Diary. I understand that scene was ad lib. And hilarious!
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squirrelcop
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
Shapewear =/= miracle. Shapewear = dashed (delusional) dreams of miracle pour moi.
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gherkinfiend
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
*who could...I can't type tonight!
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LaMorena
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
Honey, I haven't left the house without lycra on these thighs since I was 14.
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Diziet_Sma
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
You couldn't pay me to wear a satin dress; unless I was a Hollywood actress earning millions of dollars, in which case, all the diet and exercise might be worth it. Might be.
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PrettyNotPretty
12/19/08

@Diziet_Sma: Me neither! I'm a lanky part time yoga instructor, and even I cried my eyes out when I tried on a satin dress in Banana Republic because it made me look lumpy as hell, and brought out every ounce of fat I thought I'd gotten rid of (I was a chubby kid/teen/young adult). No satin for me.
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MizJenkins
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
Spare yourselves and just buy you a straight up girdle...Grandmama don't lie.
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littlemissvan
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
Gok Wan has an underwear line?! I LOVE him! Must find a way to justify spending money on underwear!
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gherkinfiend
12/19/08

@littlemissvan: Gok is the only person alive who persuade me into these things. Especially if they perk up my bangers...
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Diziet_Sma
12/19/08

@gherkinfiend: What the fuck are 'bangers'? New UK slang I have missed out on since living in Yankland?
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gherkinfiend
12/19/08

@Diziet_Sma: breasts...

(although I know shapewear doesn't really help those. It just happens to be a very Gok Wan expression)
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Diziet_Sma
12/19/08

@gherkinfiend: @the_mighty_lush: Ha! I like it.
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littlemissvan
12/19/08

@gherkinfiend: Do you know if they are doing more episodes of his Fashion Fix? They keep airing the same four episodes here in Canada, and everytime I see the listing, I get super-pumped, and then it turns out I've seen it.
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gherkinfiend
12/19/08

@littlemissvan: Have you tried accessing the Channel 4 website? I don't know if you can watch programmes on it or not...or try YouTube.

There were 6 episodes of Fashion Fix in the UK but I don't know if there will be a second series. There's How to Look Good Naked and Miss Naked Beauty too...if you can watch Channel 4 you'll be Gok-ed out!
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LoveNoelG
12/19/08

In reply to Confessions Of A Semi-Reformed Shapewear Addict
I'm a wee wisp of a thing, and I have tons of Spanx. For warmth. But now that I live in Austin (high of 80 today) they are really going to waste. I wear the camisoles every now and then.

37 minutes until my 10 day vacation OMG hurry up time!
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gold_gato
12/19/08

@LoveNoelG: Austin weather has been a nightmare lately!
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LoveNoelG
12/19/08

@gold_gato: Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.....

Through it all, I have still yet to break out a pair of socks. Yeah. I'm that guy (girl).
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gold_gato
12/19/08

@LoveNoelG: As long as you're not the weirdo in flipflops!! (Bc yeah, socks just don't always go with my flats.)
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Lizawithazee
12/19/08

@LoveNoelG: It's supposed to get cold(ish) tomorrow night... maybe cold enough to actually consider wearing something as thick as shapewear or tights or pants or socks or long sleeves...
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