Yeah, the boys are cuter than I remembered boys being when I was in high school but it's just perception... they are awkward teenagers and you aren't the same awkward teenager, too so you think these boys look cuter and the operative word here is BOYS!

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You say he slept with her willingly. It doesn't matter! That's what statutory rape is about-- the minor may have done it willingly, enjoyed it, and not regretted it, but because of the power- and age-differential is *not* capable of full consent.

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In reference to that power age differential that argument can easily be applied to anybody of any age. From 40 year old women looking for 20 year old guys, to young ladies looking for senior men.

Experience and maturity will always be if not most likely be tilted to the ones who have it the most, or just know how to exploit it the best.

a lolita will always have a look out for some fool stuck on his youth that she can exploit, just like some old perv will seek out a girl who knows no better, simply because of age.

In that case u can argue the movie the graduate is film that promotes statutory rape, and the idea of a woman dating an older man of any age be it 2 years to 10, is stupid and taboo ( let's be frank not too many ladies date younger men, just as men don't often date older women). So think about it when ever you grandpa with his trophy girlfriend and grandma (or mom) with her kept man.

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If the genders had been reversed we'd be talking about child molestation.

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Still, there's all kinds of talk about 'predatory' adult males taking advantage of tender young teenage girls and how that is a societal dilemma and a 'not rape' situation.

And somehow, aging cougars chasing tender young teenage boys is okay?

My son is 21 now, but if I'd known of an adult female chasing him when he was underage, someone would have had me to deal with.

The same way an adult male chasing my teenage daughter would.

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Also, why are you so stuck on the number 17 and indicate that no matter how "mature" he was he was still 17? Not all 17 year olds are of the same mental maturity (nor physical maturity for that matter) nor are all 30 year olds of the same mental maturity. I'm not attempting to make excuses because, again, I have no reason to make them. But i beg to question someone placing a blanket statement regarding a number and not taking into account the person's mental awareness, intelligence, developed sense of self, life experiences et al

I'm fine with having my "taste" questioned - I get that but I'm not fine with being called a child molester when you have no details of the situation. There is nothing consensual with child molestation - nothing.

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Interesting you mention the book - he's a graphic novel illustrator for Dark Horse Comics and he sent me a small four page comic, with me as a Super Heroine

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I'm repeating myself, but this is only okay because the genders are reversed. If this were a 17 year old female and a 30 year old man, we'd hear a different chorus. In fact, that same 17 year old female might, a few years later, come on a site like this and tell a story about having an affair with a 30-year old, and talk about how yes, she was a very mature 17 year old (because they ALL think they're mature 17 year olds), yadda yadda yadda, but still . . . she was 17, with a 17 year old's experience of life and a 17 year old's judgment and you know, looking back, maybe it wasn't the best decision blah blah blah . . . and then it would be one of those 'not rape' stories that filled these pages not so long ago. And the other commenters would immediately agree that the 30 year old man completely took advantage of the 17-year old girl, that she really didn't have the judgment or experience necessary to make an informed decision, that he played on her budding sexual nature, etc., and how we as women should be warning our younger sisters and friends about adult men who like teenage girls.

Somebody in that situation has to be the adult. Preferably the person who actually IS the adult.

The only difference in this story (not just yours but all those like it) is the child has a penis and big broad shoulders instead of a vagina and budding breasts. And no one is worried about or standing up for a young boy's feelings, because after all, he has a penis. Which apparently means he can't be a victim if he's old enough to use it on a female.

Your's is just one story, and believe it or not, you're just the wrong person in the right place as far as my comments are concerned. Obviously, you're not alone in your belief that you did nothing wrong and you'd find wide support because, after all, he was *almost* an adult.

I happen to disagree.

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In a turn of irony, when I was 17 I dated a 27 year old (for 4 years - my longest relationship) and it was healthy, and loving and aside from the relationship I am in now, it was the best one I'd ever had.

When I was 17 (having graduated high school at the age of 16 through an accelerated AP program) and having emancipated myself from my mentally ill mother at 15 and having spent a year studying abroad after I graduated and having a very high IQ in addition to many varied life experiences - my boyfriend and I were very compatible on many levels.

I regret nothing. I sought him out. We did have the conversation (similar to the one I had with the 17 year old) regarding how the relationship would be viewed by others. You know what, I had more support from friends and what was left of my family and his than I'd ever get from strangers. Why? Because those close to me knew the reality, not some strange, sick and twisted, angry and disgusted, mis-perceived idea that comes from strangers....strangers like you who seem to have no qualms making uniformed , broad-based, generalizations.

This discussion, between you and I anyway, has reached an impasse and so if you do respond to this, I will not continue dialogue further because, what would be the point.

That said, I am well aware my posting and inquiry left me open to criticism. There are no "hard feelings" (I've always accepted culpability for every action I make/take) nor is there anger towards you for not seeing my side of the story because, how could you - you weren't there.

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I might suggest that you stop focusing on the numbers because you may miss that which is more important...THE ACTUAL PERSON

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And the trails they leave! Sheesh!

Definitely mental problems there.

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If someone is abused, they are affected in some way for the rest of their life, and there is a possibility that they will contribute to either the enabling of abuse, or commit actual abuse themselves.

If someone abuses someone else and it is not addressed with immediacy and appropriate action, society has failed the abuser as well - we have not established the gravity of the infraction to the abuser, or demonstrated support for the victim.

Ultimately, the real problem is this: Barring (biological) mental illness, abuse is a primarily learned behavior that has the possibility of exponential repercussions that extend through generations of people. Whether it be rape, sexual abuse, psychological or physical violence - these are forces that act on individuals and in turn, shape a society.

It's time to throw out the sexist laws, pop psychology, and prosecutorial idiocy that treats transgression as something that has a charming tale of Americana associated with it - all of it corrodes the strength and affinity that we strive to build as a community. Violence and fear of violence divides individuals from each other, parents and their children, states and their governments, countries and rest of the World.

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I have to say, too, that I'm highly offended by the "there but for the grace of God go the rest of us" remark.

No. I'm not included in any 'rest of us' group that includes sex with children.

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