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What The Hell Is A Nice Guyâ„¢, Anyway?
New York, 8:14 AM
Sat Dec 19
73 posts in the last 24 hours
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What The Hell Is A Nice Guyâ„¢, Anyway? |
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This is just a way to blame women for their situation instead of working on ways they can be more appealing. Bad boys probably end up being appealing because in some sense the project confidence and they're direct, upfront and don't BS.
Also isn't there a tendency for nice guys under the guise of being nice to be passive aggressive and then progressively more aggressive particularly once you break up with them and what about shy/awkward guys that hide under the guise of i'm such a nice guy which is why i can't get a date as opposed to i lack confident or my personality is off putting.
07/02/09
1) TV/Film/Movies always show it. Does anyone else remember a series of YA books that I think of as the name books? Everyone had a girl's name for the title and the girl was always part of a huge historic event (Johnstown Flood, Gettysburg). There were always two boys, one nice but secretly selfish and one who was an ass but helped her in some way to end up with her. Its only as an adult that I've realized how messed up that is.
2) Some girls do tend to like drama and/or a guy who will boss them around a lit and these girls tend to be pretty vocal about it.
3) Bad boys by definition lie.
Obviously these aren't unbreakable man categories, but I do tend to think there are bastards and know it, guys who are entitled asses but think they are sweet dorks, and normal, stable men.
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07/02/09
[en.wikipedia.org])
07/02/09
[divalion.livejournal.com]
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I have seen many women who like the bad boys (and guys who like the naughty girls) at first but when they get older have a change of heart.
There was one case when I was teaching when one of my male students who was a nice guy didn't get a second look from the women who all swooned for the class jerk. In the end the jerk got most of the ladies and left them heart broken.
Sure maybe 10 years later (or 30 years later) the nice guy will have a chance with one of them but it also means that he will be/feel like the rejected out cast for most of his HS and college life.
07/02/09
When I think of all the girls I knew in high school, lots of them had crushes on guys who weren't considered at all cool. Teenagers are awkward and girls in particular wait for some show of interest.
I think a lot of guys who felt like losers in high school probably could have dated the cute girl who sat behind them in bio, but they were either too insecure or too focused on the head cheerleader to notice. Blaming the cheerleader doesn't get to the actual problem.
07/02/09
07/03/09
The "nice guys" who liked me were the ones who would clam up and not talk at all when I was around. It never occurred to me that those guys liked me; I just thought they were weird.
You gotta put yourself out there if you want to get anything back.
07/02/09
I've always followed this philosophy in dating and it has worked great for me. Of course, I may just be a complete asshole.
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All told, it's a wonder they don't get even fewer women than they do.
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the Nice Guys are the ones that don't break up with you when they should for fear of hurting you so so badly...after only a few months of dating. As if they'd be so hard to get over that you'd be crushed for life...
07/02/09
Yeah, I've been out with a few; why do you ask?
07/02/09
Nature has granted individuals of various species certain attributes to indicate to other members of their species that their DNA is particularly desirous. In most cases, these attributes are actually detrimental to the individual's survival--a really long tail for a peacock, ridiculously large antlers for an elk, etc. The idea is that anything that could survive with that kind of impediment must be a badass, so the female of the species should get some of that successful DNA right quick.
For humans, these detrimental attributes are usually behavioral rather than physical. A guy who is an absolute prick to everyone around him but has managed to survive with all of his teeth intact *must* have something else going for him. Likewise, guys who smoke/drink/abuse drugs to excess, etc. *must* be really successful in some other regard.
The part of our brains that hasn't evolved all that much sees a jerk in the same way that a doe elk sees a bull elk with enormous antlers. Fortunately, the part of our brains that *has* evolved tends to kick in after we've dated a few of them.
This would be why we're human and elk are not.
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07/02/09
Facebook tells me still single. Imagine that.