Another disorder featured on the show was a woman who is allergic to her husband's semen, a condition the coupled discovered on their wedding night when they had unprotected sex for the first time. I guess she never blew him before? Or is her vagina just allergic? They didn't go into detail on that.


Frankly, I don't see what the disorder is with this woman. It sounds like she's describing a rather pleasant way to spend an evening.

Who's to say that some teen girls just like oral sex? In fact, who's to say what the reasons are behind anything a teen girl does...other than the girl herself? Also, if this is such a huge problem in high schools, as Dr. Phil leads us to believe, then why is it only being addressed in relation to girls? The boys are the ones supposedly paying to get their dicks sucked. So they literally get off with impunity on this?

Also, what the fuck is wrong with oral sex? You can't get pregnant and the chances of catching a disease is much slimmer. But the thing that really made me angry was when Dr. Phil was going over the statistics from the CDC about teens (both boys and girls) and sex, saying, "These girls, 38% of them are not using any kind of protection." Actually, the statistic is, "38% of sexually active teens do not use a condom." Nothing was mentioned specifically about girls in that category.

The show was basically all about "protecting our girls," a sentiment that I pretty much hate when it's applied to situations like these, because it completely takes away the agency of teen girls when it comes to the decisions they make with their own bodies. Maybe we should "protect our girls" by not assuming that they're whores because they're engaging in sexual activity. Maybe we should "protect our girls" by teaching boys to respect them. Maybe we should "protect our girls" by properly educating them about sex.

This last clip is just laughable. Dr. Phil insists that teens are actually having sex on prom dance floors, because this lady—who recently chaperoned her first one—never heard of a song by Next called "Too Close."

My favorite part about how women were discovering how to pleasure themselves is this lady's face when she's shown a vibrating dildo.

The documentary also talks about the feminist protest of the 1969 Miss America Pageant in Atlantic City, a pivotal moment in the women's movement. Usually, for retrospectives on feminism, we hear a lot from scholarly talking heads who have not only studied and analyzed the movement, but were also part of it. But Sex in '69 featured a lesser-examined — but equally illuminating — viewpoint: that of a 1969 Miss America contestant. In this clip, Susan Anton, Miss California 1969, gives her take on how the protest affected her. Interestingly, 40 years later, she is grateful for women's liberation, and thinks we still have a long way to go.

Originally titled The True Story of How Babies are Made, the book was first published in 1973.


This is a baby.


This is the baby's parents, both of whom are fond of horizontal stripes.


Mom's carpet matches the curtains.


The father's definition of "large" seems relative, if not completely inaccurate, but the mother is OK with that, because the large ones kind of hurt anyway.


Danish kissing is just like French kissing, minus the tongues.


Shrinkage can be a problem for some men, but Danish kissing can take the focus away from the crotch. Magicians refer to this as "redirection."


When parents are very much in love, they hang out together in the nude.


Like all the time.


And the vagina in the middle of the father's chest doesn't even freak out the mother.


The father, however, is sometimes freaked out by the mother's see-thru belly.


But that's no reason to put on clothes.


After all, passionless nudity is natural.


But when it's time to go to the hospital, the parents have to put on the clothes they removed nine months earlier.


Because it would've been weird to drive around naked, even if they do own a hippie love van, and people in town expect that kind of thing from them.


The mother appears unperturbed by labor pains, or the fact that her doctor has blood-drenched shoes.


The doctor nervously grips the candlestick holder that he bought at Ikea, and prepares himself for the worst, in case the baby is evil and needs to be clubbed.


The baby exits the vagina kind of drunk. Luckily he isn't a violent drunk, but one of those happy drunks who just wants to hug everyone in the room. The doctor feels relieved about this.


The father, a known nudist, would like to remove his clothing like the rest of his family, but the doctor, whose behavior has been odd, won't leave the room.


The family is happy to be at home, and the father is happy to see a breast, even though he isn't the one who gets to suck on it.


Their friends and relatives, although happy about the baby, are not pictured here because they don't want their names or faces to be associated with any of this.


Real talk.


If you view this sideways, it looks like a tampon exiting a vagina, which is kind of the opposite of a sperm going into an egg. So this is like one of those optical illusion illustrations on display at the Franklin Institute.


YOU GETTIN' THIS? [12 oz. Prophet]

Bennett Gordon, writing for the Utne Reader, says:

Researchers often reduce sex down to its most basic, physical elements, viewing intercourse in terms of function and dysfunction, rather than idiosyncratic preferences.

He — and the Boston Globe's Drake Bennett — are (of course) mostly concerned about Viagra. The latter writes:

At its worst, they warn, [sex science] is pushing us into a sort of sexual arms race as people engage in sex acts that hold little interest for them, partake of a growing pharmacopeia of sex drugs, even get formerly unheard-of cosmetic surgeries to measure up to a fictional sexual ideal.

I don't know that sex science is to blame for that as much as sex marketing — but Gordon and Bennet conflate the two.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the marketing of Viagra. Many people swear by the drug's regenerative properties, but Bennett writes, "the benefits of Viagra and similar pills have to be balanced against the fact that they have made our sex lives seem like something that can - and should - be fixed with a drug."

And, while that's do doubt true, I'm not sure that's an argument for less knowledge or research, even into the mechanics of sex and sexual pleasure.

So what is the problem?

The overly medicalized science isn't just misguided, it also prevents helpful work from being done. Bennett quotes Amy Allina, program director at National Women's Health Network, saying, "We don't really know - and this is a timely one - how unemployment affects a couple's sex life."

Interestingly, 12 years ago, I participated in a sex study of how worry (as opposed to fear) affects arousal... so there was certainly work being done on stress and (at least female) arousal more than a decade ago, even if it Allina and Bennett haven't seen it around.

They do think there is hope, though.

Scientists are now proposing a new, more "humanistic" model of sex, according to Bennett, that respects the idiosyncrasies of people and their relationships. Looking beyond the physiological, sex science could promote a more healthy view of sex as it functions inside of relationships.

Which, again, is great: sex quite often has a psychological component and a social-psychological component, and understanding how those interact with the physiological component is important. But do we have to throw the boner-pills (or the supposedly forthcoming ladyboner pills) out with the proverbial bathwater to get there? Can't we understand our bodies and our minds and our relationships better and thus have better sex?

Are Sex Studies Bad for Sex? [Utne Reader]

Related: Mary Roach: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasm [TED]
My Beautiful Cervix

Earlier: Mary Roach Writes About Sex (And Not Even In a Dirty Way)
Being Cervix-y

In the clip to the left, Roach explains #7 (from the list below). The Danish National Committee for Pig Production found that farmers would see a 6% increase in the farrowing rate (number of pigs produced) if they helped the female pigs have an orgasm while inseminating them. To help the farmers with this task, the committee created an instructional DVD on arousing female pigs. Roached obtained a copy and shares it with us all.

The List:
1.) A fetus can masturbate in utero.
2.) You don't need genitals.
3.) You can have them when you're dead.
4.) They can cause bad breath.
5.) They can cure hiccups.
6.) Doctors once prescribed them for fertility.
7.) Pig farmers still do.
8.) Animals orgasm more than we think they do.
9.) There was an instrument developed in lab studies — a camera attached to a phallus — to study what happens inside a woman's vagina when she climaxes.
10.) Kinsey conducted, for lack of a better term, jerk-off in which he lined men up next to each other and had them ejaculate in order to study how far semen can shoot.

Funny, educational, and engaging, Roach explains all of these points in a really entertaining — but still scientific! — way. You should really take the time to watch the entire video:

Mary Roach: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Orgasm [TED]

Our two favorite menopausal morning hosts don't know what "hooking up" is, but they certainly don't like the sound of it. Hint for Kathie Lee: "Hooking up" is what Frank did with that stewardess in the hotel room.

Analingus, Double Dildos, And Lost Libido [Dodson and Ross]

A story on MSNBC today delves into the controversy erupting among members of the APA working on the development of the new DSM, reporting that "at least one petition, spearheaded by transgender activists, is being circulated to oppose the appointment of some members to the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders work group and its chair, Kenneth Zucker, head of the Gender Identity Service at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Canada." With regards to the definition of normal vs. disordered sex, it seems to me that "sane" eroticism is anything that is enjoyable and consensual for all parties involved, whether it be in missionary position with a partner of the opposite sex, or hanging by nipple clamps while a group of men in panties beat off into a pair of shoes. Because while the latter may not be right, it's okay. (I can't believe I just quoted Whitney Houston and it made perfect sense.)

What's ‘Normal’ Sex? Shrinks Seek Definition [MSNBC]

I couldn't find any specific written laws (by state, that is) that says that road head is a no-no. But that's actually because in so many states, regular, plain ol' BJs are totally illegal, no matter where you're giving or receiving them. Many states have ye olde tyme-y anti-gay rules that outlaw any sex that isn't penis/vagina. Here are a list that I was able to put together.

Alabama (not surprising, given their laws on sex toys) Penalty = 1 year/$2,000
Florida Penalty = 60 days/$500
Idaho Penalty = 5 years to life…life!
Kansas Penalty = 6 months/$1,000, (only applies to same-sex acts)
Louisiana Penalty = 5 years/$2,000
Michigan Penalty = up to 15 years imprisonment, repeat offenders get life
Mississippi Penalty = 10 years
North Carolina Penalty = 10 years/discretionary fine
Oklahoma Penalty = 10 years (only applies to same-sex acts)
South Carolina Penalty = 5 years/$500
Texas Penalty = $500 (only applies to same-sex acts)
Utah Penalty = 6 months/$1,000
Virginia Penalty = 1-5 years

It's good to know that of the three states (that I can remember, at least) I've given and received road head — Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York — I wasn't technically breaking the law. But it is kinda dangerous to do. I haven't done it in about a year or two, but that's just because I don't have a car and I haven't dated anyone with one since then.

1. Photographic Representation
Why is it that sexperts are always photographed coyly chewing on the stem of their glasses and showing cleavage? Real writers need their glasses on at all times, and usually type without even wearing a bra. (Or at least, that's been my experience in life.)

2. Employing the term "hot mama."
Telling mothers to not neglect their sexual sides and referring to them as "hot mamas" is the "literary" equivalent of scraping one's nails across a blackboard.

3. Sending Mixed Messages About Body Image
In her 10 Mistakes, Fulbright tells women to embrace their bodies, saying, "Walk around naked. Have sex with the lights on." And that's fine, but within the same article she says, "Strive to stay trim and look your best."

4. Advising Women To Act "Feminine" By Pretending That They Aren't Human
Fulbright says, "Between major weight gain, bodily functions, and divulging daily care habits, a lot of women fail to remain branded in their men's brains as sexy. While self-care and what we do in the loo is nothing to be ashamed of, keep it in the bathroom. Don't talk about shaving, your period, your last bowel movement, etc."

5. Neglecting To Give Women The Most Crucial Piece Of Sex Advice
Nowhere in her 10 Mistakes does Fulbright recommend that every woman own a vibrator. Nor does she say that women should discover their bodies and learn what they like and dislike. Lastly, she completely fails to mention that the biggest mistake a woman can make in bed is ignoring her own desires.

FOXSexpert: 10 Sex Mistakes Women Make [Fox News]

I'm pissed because people so frequently try to take women down a peg by attacking their sexuality, automatically throwing out names like "whore" and "slut." And that shit happens to me, even though I own my promiscuity. It's even more hurtful when it comes from other women.

Sexual double standards are still annoyingly prevalent, and tearing them down has been my personal crusade as a feminist. Accepting insults cast upon my sex life would be undoing everything I've set out to accomplish. I hate when people say that I fuck so much because I have a low self-esteem, or that I'm lonely, or that I just want attention. In fact, in my first ever post on my personal blog, I stated that the only void I'm trying to fill is the one between my legs. And I know that I'm not the only one. There are tons of other women out there just like me (you're probably reading this right now!), who engage in casual sex purely for the physical merits of it. And I think that we all find comfort or solidarity in sharing our stories with each other, because as women, that's how we do: Bitches love talking.

I feel defeated sometimes knowing that people aren't able to fathom that women don't need a reason to have sex other than just wanting to fuck. It's like, if we aren't in a relationship or prostituting, then there must something wrong with us. By saying that sex is only useful to single women as a commodity devalues our existence.

What's more is that I've never tried to be sexy in my writing. If anything, I like to explore the more unpleasant aspects of sex, because they're more interesting to me (like herpes or queefing). And you know, I don't have any delusions about being completely altruistic. I get plenty of benefits from writing about sex, like this job, for example.

I know I can tend to be all TMI, but I think that's because I place a lot of emphasis on I, and if people think that's TM, then TS. That's much more of a reflection on them than me. I've noticed that the shit I tend to write is like a literary Rorschach test.

And I'm probably preaching to the choir here, since this isn't a common problem I encounter on Jezebel (which actually proves my point that I'm not the only unabashed slut out there). But from here on out, I'm putting my foot down. I'm not taking any shit anymore, because like it or not, it's not gonna keep me from spreading my legs, my anecdotes, or my opinions. Real talk.

Earlier: Queefs: What's The Etiquette For Dealing With Air Up There?
Contrary To Popular Belief, Herpes Is So Whatevs
Last Night I Boned An AVN Award Nominee

• The um, news? Was somehow inspiring?
  
• You were locked out of the house.
  
• The person really needed to get laid and you like to think of yourself as a Good Samaritan. (Sexaritan?)
  
• To avoid being groped by someone even uglier after the inevitable loss of consciousness on the subway ride home.
  
• Because you were feeling fat, but he was actually fat, thereby making you feel small, and in any case ridding you of some much-maligned water weight.
  
• He played "Range Life" on the jukebox.
  
• You'd had good luck with that astrological sign before.

• You'd never fucked someone of that ethnic origin before.
• Because you had a close girlfriend who'd fucked him once and if you're not the type of girl to gay out on your girlfriends, being a degree of sexaration from them is almost as much of a bonding experience as, like, sharing breast milk. More if you think about how much easier it is to expose yourself to each other's diseases with the help of a dude!
• They had achieved a somewhat absurd, ideally niche and/or D-list brand of fame and it was a good story.
• Like, for instance, Steve Aoki.
• Um, the Starr report had just come out and it dawned on you that you were pathetic.
• The surliest guy at the office became decidedly less surly at happy hour.
• The person played the Dead Milkmen on the jukebox.
• The masturbation is maybe giving you carpal tunnel?

Okay, now have fun and add your own, etc. etc.