Analingus, Double Dildos, And Lost Libido [Dodson and Ross]

A story on MSNBC today delves into the controversy erupting among members of the APA working on the development of the new DSM, reporting that "at least one petition, spearheaded by transgender activists, is being circulated to oppose the appointment of some members to the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders work group and its chair, Kenneth Zucker, head of the Gender Identity Service at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Canada." With regards to the definition of normal vs. disordered sex, it seems to me that "sane" eroticism is anything that is enjoyable and consensual for all parties involved, whether it be in missionary position with a partner of the opposite sex, or hanging by nipple clamps while a group of men in panties beat off into a pair of shoes. Because while the latter may not be right, it's okay. (I can't believe I just quoted Whitney Houston and it made perfect sense.)

What's ‘Normal’ Sex? Shrinks Seek Definition [MSNBC]

I couldn't find any specific written laws (by state, that is) that says that road head is a no-no. But that's actually because in so many states, regular, plain ol' BJs are totally illegal, no matter where you're giving or receiving them. Many states have ye olde tyme-y anti-gay rules that outlaw any sex that isn't penis/vagina. Here are a list that I was able to put together.

Alabama (not surprising, given their laws on sex toys) Penalty = 1 year/$2,000
Florida Penalty = 60 days/$500
Idaho Penalty = 5 years to life…life!
Kansas Penalty = 6 months/$1,000, (only applies to same-sex acts)
Louisiana Penalty = 5 years/$2,000
Michigan Penalty = up to 15 years imprisonment, repeat offenders get life
Mississippi Penalty = 10 years
North Carolina Penalty = 10 years/discretionary fine
Oklahoma Penalty = 10 years (only applies to same-sex acts)
South Carolina Penalty = 5 years/$500
Texas Penalty = $500 (only applies to same-sex acts)
Utah Penalty = 6 months/$1,000
Virginia Penalty = 1-5 years

It's good to know that of the three states (that I can remember, at least) I've given and received road head — Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York — I wasn't technically breaking the law. But it is kinda dangerous to do. I haven't done it in about a year or two, but that's just because I don't have a car and I haven't dated anyone with one since then.

1. Photographic Representation
Why is it that sexperts are always photographed coyly chewing on the stem of their glasses and showing cleavage? Real writers need their glasses on at all times, and usually type without even wearing a bra. (Or at least, that's been my experience in life.)

2. Employing the term "hot mama."
Telling mothers to not neglect their sexual sides and referring to them as "hot mamas" is the "literary" equivalent of scraping one's nails across a blackboard.

3. Sending Mixed Messages About Body Image
In her 10 Mistakes, Fulbright tells women to embrace their bodies, saying, "Walk around naked. Have sex with the lights on." And that's fine, but within the same article she says, "Strive to stay trim and look your best."

4. Advising Women To Act "Feminine" By Pretending That They Aren't Human
Fulbright says, "Between major weight gain, bodily functions, and divulging daily care habits, a lot of women fail to remain branded in their men's brains as sexy. While self-care and what we do in the loo is nothing to be ashamed of, keep it in the bathroom. Don't talk about shaving, your period, your last bowel movement, etc."

5. Neglecting To Give Women The Most Crucial Piece Of Sex Advice
Nowhere in her 10 Mistakes does Fulbright recommend that every woman own a vibrator. Nor does she say that women should discover their bodies and learn what they like and dislike. Lastly, she completely fails to mention that the biggest mistake a woman can make in bed is ignoring her own desires.

FOXSexpert: 10 Sex Mistakes Women Make [Fox News]

I'm pissed because people so frequently try to take women down a peg by attacking their sexuality, automatically throwing out names like "whore" and "slut." And that shit happens to me, even though I own my promiscuity. It's even more hurtful when it comes from other women.

Sexual double standards are still annoyingly prevalent, and tearing them down has been my personal crusade as a feminist. Accepting insults cast upon my sex life would be undoing everything I've set out to accomplish. I hate when people say that I fuck so much because I have a low self-esteem, or that I'm lonely, or that I just want attention. In fact, in my first ever post on my personal blog, I stated that the only void I'm trying to fill is the one between my legs. And I know that I'm not the only one. There are tons of other women out there just like me (you're probably reading this right now!), who engage in casual sex purely for the physical merits of it. And I think that we all find comfort or solidarity in sharing our stories with each other, because as women, that's how we do: Bitches love talking.

I feel defeated sometimes knowing that people aren't able to fathom that women don't need a reason to have sex other than just wanting to fuck. It's like, if we aren't in a relationship or prostituting, then there must something wrong with us. By saying that sex is only useful to single women as a commodity devalues our existence.

What's more is that I've never tried to be sexy in my writing. If anything, I like to explore the more unpleasant aspects of sex, because they're more interesting to me (like herpes or queefing). And you know, I don't have any delusions about being completely altruistic. I get plenty of benefits from writing about sex, like this job, for example.

I know I can tend to be all TMI, but I think that's because I place a lot of emphasis on I, and if people think that's TM, then TS. That's much more of a reflection on them than me. I've noticed that the shit I tend to write is like a literary Rorschach test.

And I'm probably preaching to the choir here, since this isn't a common problem I encounter on Jezebel (which actually proves my point that I'm not the only unabashed slut out there). But from here on out, I'm putting my foot down. I'm not taking any shit anymore, because like it or not, it's not gonna keep me from spreading my legs, my anecdotes, or my opinions. Real talk.

Earlier: Queefs: What's The Etiquette For Dealing With Air Up There?
Contrary To Popular Belief, Herpes Is So Whatevs
Last Night I Boned An AVN Award Nominee

• The um, news? Was somehow inspiring?
  
• You were locked out of the house.
  
• The person really needed to get laid and you like to think of yourself as a Good Samaritan. (Sexaritan?)
  
• To avoid being groped by someone even uglier after the inevitable loss of consciousness on the subway ride home.
  
• Because you were feeling fat, but he was actually fat, thereby making you feel small, and in any case ridding you of some much-maligned water weight.
  
• He played "Range Life" on the jukebox.
  
• You'd had good luck with that astrological sign before.

• You'd never fucked someone of that ethnic origin before.
• Because you had a close girlfriend who'd fucked him once and if you're not the type of girl to gay out on your girlfriends, being a degree of sexaration from them is almost as much of a bonding experience as, like, sharing breast milk. More if you think about how much easier it is to expose yourself to each other's diseases with the help of a dude!
• They had achieved a somewhat absurd, ideally niche and/or D-list brand of fame and it was a good story.
• Like, for instance, Steve Aoki.
• Um, the Starr report had just come out and it dawned on you that you were pathetic.
• The surliest guy at the office became decidedly less surly at happy hour.
• The person played the Dead Milkmen on the jukebox.
• The masturbation is maybe giving you carpal tunnel?

Okay, now have fun and add your own, etc. etc.