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New York, 3:58 PM
Tue Nov 10
73 posts in the last 24 hours

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11/06/09
Fortunately, we got pregnant on the first try, so no issues there... I just had to deal with the pain during our attempt to conceive. I've asked my nurse practitioner at the ObGyn's office about it, but she didn't have a clue as to the reason. I wouldn't be surprised if there are more women out there with this problem than what is known. #sexsomnia
11/06/09
The fun part is I am allergic to latex also. #sexsomnia
11/05/09
My grandmother has just rolled over in her grave. #sexsomnia
11/05/09
I had a boyfriend once who had the same thing. We frequently woke up in the midst of wild, rapturous sex. I kind of miss that.
I didn't know what I had until I read this amazing article:
[www.nytimes.com] #sexsomnia
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So on the one hand you have a person with a disorder that causes them to initiate sexual activity beyond their awareness or ability to control (unless diagnosed and treated) and then you have the person(s) they are having the sex with who may have no reason to think the person initiating sex with them is unaware of their behavior. #sexsomnia
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I'm concerned about someone being incarcerated for having what he (or she) thought was consensual sex, that's all. And honestly, if someone has this condition, they have to be a little bit more cautious (not that it would be their fault at all if they were raped, but whoever was sleeping with them at the time wouldn't necessarily be held guilty either). #sexsomnia
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Forgive me for not using he/she in every comment I make on a website. #sexsomnia
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But generally speaking, I agree with you and that was my point. The need for consent doesn't magically go away just because someone has a sleep disorder, and frankly, I'm a bit horrified by some of the responses I've gotten here. #sexsomnia
11/05/09
Rape is rape; I can't conceive of a hypothetical where a rapist could use their victim's sexsomnia disorder as an affirmative defense.
In the cases you've mentioned, thesciencegirl, I also don't think these men would be off the hook (although it depends on the particular state law) because insanity (or whatever mental disorder) generally cannot be used as a defense in this country. #sexsomnia
11/05/09
Likewise for a sexsomniac.
The cases I read with successful sexsomnia defenses were all in the UK, I believe. #sexsomnia
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From what I understand of sleepwalking and other sleepwalking-like disorders, it's possible to not realize the person asleep is actually asleep. People sleepwalk with their eyes open. So if someone was asleep but you didn't realize it, and started to make sexy time moves, how could it be rape, legally?
I'm less concerned about actual cases in which rape under these circumstances are occcurring, and more concerned about this stuff getting used as an excuse for raping someone. This disorder is so rare that the larger danger (societally, obviously not on an individual level) is using it as a defense.
I've definitely started having sex while still asleep. I take medicine that makes me have very, very vivid dreams, and a few months ago I woke up in the middle of fooling around with my boyfriend. Actually I was about to have an orgasm and that was what woke me up. Actually it was fucking awesome. He didn't realize that I was asleep until after we were finished having sex (I woke up before there was any actual intercourse). He was like, "I was wondering why you suddenly went from being kind of quiet to suddenly being far more vocal." That woman's boyfriend is way creepier, though, because he knew she was asleep. If my boyfriend had known I was asleep he would have poked me in the cheek to wake me up and make sure everything was ok.
I wish it would happen more often though, because seriously waking up to an orgasm is delightful, especially for someone who usually has to concentrate really hard on to have one. #sexsomnia
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As a person who has this disorder, it can be quite scary not knowing what I'll do every night when I go to sleep. I feel bad for my partner too. He tells me sometimes that I woke him up. I'm sure it's trying to sleep with someone like me. I'm also a snorer. #sexsomnia
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