Turns out the study does make a distinction between "vaginal orgasm" and "clitoral orgasm." Vaginal orgasm is defined as orgasm resulting from "penile buffeting of the cervix" (hottest description of sex we've read all day) and not by clitoral stimulation. The study alleges that because more nerves and hormones are involved in cervix-buffeting action, vaginal orgasms are better for "sexual satiety and mental health." Women who can orgasm vaginally also apparently less likely to use "immature psychological defense mechanisms" like converting psychological problems into physical ailments.

So how did those sexologists determine whether a woman could achieve this sexual gold standard? "The basis for judgment was the global impression of the women's free, fluid, energetic, sensual manner of walking." Judging the sensuality of a woman's walk sounds like a job for scientists at Maxim University, but it is worth noting that the scientists were accurate over 80% of the time in judging whether a woman could have a vaginal orgasm.

What does this mean? It means that in a study population of sixteen Belgian university students, a particular sexual response may be associated with a particular walk. What the scientists have added to this somewhat interesting revelation are value judgments — a "free, fluid, energetic, sensual" walk, "immature defense mechanisms." They even say that their study may support the notion that "muscle blocks" are related to "impairment of sexual and character function." Basically the whole study hinges on the rather Freudian notion that some behaviors are more "mature" than others, and that if we don't walk sensually we might have a malfunctioning character.

But there's hope! The authors note that they misidentified two women as vaginally orgasmic who actually were not. They may have just been wrong, they admit, but "it might be that the women have the capacity for vaginal orgasm, but have not yet had sufficient experience or met a man of sufficient quality to induce vaginal orgasm." Yes, men, this study has something for you to feel bad about too. If your partner can't come, it's probably because your "quality" sucks. Better get to a quality therapist right away.

Earlier: Something In The Way She Moves: Does A Woman's Gait Predict Her Orgasmic Ability?

First of all, let's take the term "history of vaginal orgasm." We've asked for access to the study itself, but so far we only have the press release to go on. According to this rather bizarre document, "history of vaginal orgasm" appears to mean a woman's ability to have orgasms from penile-vaginal sex. But does that mean penis contact alone, or was additional clitoral stimulation also allowed? Since only about 7 percent of women can always come from P-in-the-V alone, the question is an important one.

Then there's study author Stuart Brody's analysis: "Blocked pelvic muscles, which might be associated with psychosexual impairments, could both impair vaginal orgasmic response and gait." Brody also hypothesizes that women who experience penile-vaginal orgasm are more confident. Could be true, but it shouldn't be. Having an orgasm isn't like sinking a free throw or delivering a PowerPoint presentation — it's not a skill women should judge themselves on. Thinking of yourself as good or bad at orgasms (a mindset only encouraged by the use of words like "impairment") probably leads to worse sex, not better.

The fun continues! The authors say that "confidence might also be related to the relationship(s) that a woman has had, given the finding that specifically penile-vaginal orgasm is associated with indices of better relationship quality." That study is online (subscription-only), and it was conducted on 30 Portuguese women who "were all undergraduate psychology students, workers in a facility for the mentally retarded, or performing artists" (a follow-up study will no doubt consider the relationship quality of cowgirls, aquarium workers, and rodeo clowns). These women rated their relationships more highly if they experienced penile-vaginal orgasms, but not orgasms from anal, oral, or masturbation. Again no data on whether in those P-V orgasms included vibrator or finger assistance. Do sexologists not get that this is important? Apparently not, nor do they shy away from statements like "It is possible that women who are focused on clitoral masturbatory stimulation are less attuned to the more interactive and neurophysiologically more complex behavior of penile-vaginal intercourse" (nah, they're probably just blind) or "Characterological factors might lead some women to choose sexual behaviors other than penile-vaginal intercourse for the very reason that those other behaviors are less intimate" (because the intimacy of an act is totally a measurable quantity that's the same for everyone).

I don't mean to knock sex research here — it can be interesting and even useful. And I'm prepared to believe that penile-vaginal sex has unique benefits for some heterosexual couples. But let's take these studies for what they are — measurements of other people, and often incomplete measurements at that. They can't measure what makes us feel good, and they shouldn't dictate how we feel about ourselves.

Gait May Be Associated With Orgasmic Ability [EurekAlert]

Why do I never experience orgasm?" an anxious wife asked after two years of marriage. That same question had been asked a hundred times over. Before attempting a reply another question should be put: "Do you enjoy intercourse?"

If the answer is "Yes" there is little need to pursue the matter further. To worry about orgasm is quite unnecessary. A technical term has somehow gained currency and many of those who use it do not know what it means.

Translation: If you like the feeling of a penis in your vagina, you're not missing out. On anything. Get back to work.

Orgasm is the name given to the climax experienced during the sex act. Unlike the climax of a man, in the woman it takes a variety of different forms. There is no single type of orgasm common to all women.

Some, of course, feel more intense pleasure than others. They may be so carried away that the intensity of the pleasure is almost painful. There may be an aggressive reaction, which is almost unendurable and results in crying out, scratching or biting. Often there is an agonized expression on the face, which is just the very opposite of a woman who is in ecstasy.

Translation: Be aware of what expressions you're making during climax. You might freak out your husband.

But many women are so made that they do not respond with such a violent upsurge of feeling. They do not, as has been said, "tear a passion to tatters." Instead of spending themselves in a brief frenzied outburst they are buoyed up by a feeling of tenderness which is diffused and main-tained. The vagina goes on contracting as gently as a sea anemone which opens softly in the moving tide.

Translation: Your vagina smells, looks, and feels like seafood.

The pleasure can be exquisitely prolonged by remaining in close union after the male climax has been reached. For her partner to withdraw abruptly means that for her the act is uncompleted. She is made to feel that her partner's only concern was with his own gratification. Her body has been used as a mere means to a selfish end, and, the objective gained, he is no longer interested.

Such an attitude at a time when she is hypersensitive can be deeply wounding. It relegates sex to its lowest terms as a sheer bodily mechanism. A wife feels that she is not regarded as a unique personality, the one woman in the world who matters, but as little more than a convenience. Intercourse on these terms is hardly different from prostitution, except that it is not paid for in cash.

Translation: If your husband pulls out right after he comes, he's not an asshole, you're a whore.

A woman who is only moderately sexed is not prevented from enjoying sex; just so long as she enjoys what she has got, she will find that's enough. There is no need to fret because her type of pleasure is not identical with that of someone else...

The artist, if he is worth anything, paints to please himself. He does not copy someone else. He knows there is not just one way of painting a picture, which is so right that all others are plainly wrong. The right way is that which gives him the maximum satisfaction.

Translation: Your husband is an iconoclast... an artist. Please fetch him a Scotch while you're up.

The Meaning Of Orgasm (Jan, 1964) [ModernMechanix]