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Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison

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hellosunshine
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
I'm always amazed by stories like these - was my suburban Dallas district the only one that taught comprehensive sex ed? We had it in fourth and seventh grades and heard all about birth control and such.
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Ipomoea
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
When I see clips like the abstinence-only education in Texas, I fall down on my bleeding-heart godless liberal knees and thank whomever might or might not be up above in a hypothetical heaven for the incredibly thorough and accurate sex ed I got through my Unitarian church. AYS FOR LIFE YALL!
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picassobear
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
Just a question, since I don't really trust schools to teach my future children about sex, at what age did you start discussing it with your kids (for those with kids) or when do you think its a good idea? I never thought 7th grade but clearly it can be an issue.
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archaeo_girl
06/24/09

@picassobear: I really like the UU OWL program ( [www.uua.org] ), it's age appropriate and any religious affiliation is optional. I have a friend whose kids are going through the Kindergarten-age program right now (how to talk about body parts, how to recognize you are being molested, etc). it's education for kids AND parents
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Ipomoea
06/24/09

@archaeo_girl: UU shout-out! I met someone at a party who did Planned Parenthood sex ed programs and they use a lot from OWL in their programs (possibly because someone from my church is involved in the PP program as well).
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Lorin Taylor
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
Every kid raised their hand when asked if they can be abstinent. And she believes them. People who think kids don't lie should not be allowed to teach them.

And who doesn't enjoy seeing a grown man have a condom put on his hand by a teenager. No, not skeevy at all.
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Slovenly Muse
06/24/09

@Lorin Taylor: I'm not sure it was a lie in that situation. Anyone CAN be abstinent, if they want to be. But there's a big difference between agreeing with a teacher that you can be abstinent right after hearing about the awful side-effects of sex, and quite another to make the choice in the heat of the moment, when you and your partner are raring to go.

I don't believe that those kids were sitting there thinking "man, I am going to have so much sex when this class is over" while nodding along to the propaganda, though they might have been. It's mostly a matter of clinical classroom discussion versus actual real world feelings and experiences.
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Slovenly Muse
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
As a west coast Canadian hippie, I've had an incredibly comprehensive sex education. We talked about everything from abstinence (without pressure) to birth control, to making sure that when we did have sex that it was on our terms. We had discussions about respecting ourselves and our partners in bed, debated what constitutes sexual abuse (even within consensual sex), and learned how to use our own instincts and good sense to protect us from sexual predators.

What are these abstinence teachers thinking? If they assume the kids are going to get married one day, then when they do have sex they're going to need to know a lot more than 'penis goes in vagina, and then you get a baby (and/or an STD)!' And the parents that support this program? They're PARENTS, they should understand the complexities of sex, and want their teens to be ready to handle those complexities when the time comes! Your wedding ring is not going to magically transmit to you everything you need to know about sex as it slips onto your finger!

They might not have sex as TEENAGERS, but chances are they're GOING to have sex eventually, and this might be the only chance you get to really educate and prepare them for it! WHY ARE YOU WASTING IT?!
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birdfeet
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
Did it creep anyone else out when she was putting the condom on his hand?
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ArtfulSlinger
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
I had somewhat comprehensive sexual education, but being the child of a single mother was enough education for me.

I find it strange though that the little girl who is now pregnant never owned what she did and in fact this purity card was her weird way of getting out of it. First it was peer pressure to have sex and now its peer pressure to be "pure".
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DramaClub
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
My middle school-aged son brought home a sheet that I had to sign saying he could participate in HIV/AIDS education in school. They did not mention condoms once.

I hate Texas.

THE END.
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tomatoheart
06/24/09

@DramaClub: My parents declined my participation in that session. I figured out the birds and bees on my own through um practice the next year.
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Arkaina
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
My sex education was very extensive once I reached highschool. We talked about the pill, plan b, condoms, stds, yeast infections, everthing. The only lesson that wasn't taught, and I wish it was before I started having sex, was "pee after your done, especially if you're new, it'll save you having to experience a UTI."
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bangers
06/25/09

@Arkaina: to be fair, i just taught that to my 54 year old mom two weeks ago.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
I didn't have any, since my district taught sex ed in sixth grade, and at that time I was attending a Catholic K-8 that decided the best way to deal with sex was to pretend it didn't exist (probably worked out for the nuns). So by the time I went to public school, I'd missed it.

Now I teach in MA, and I'm eerily certain my students know more about sex than I do, though I doubt most of them are having more of it.
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
I went to a Christian camp for one week in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of high school. At the camp, during chapel, they asked everyone who wanted to promise to keep their virginity for their spouse to stand up. Most people stood; I did too. I really did mean it at the time.

My guilt reflex is sometimes STILL triggered because I thought I was making a promise to God, and, well, I broke it. At 26, with my fiance.
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Plate2.18
06/24/09

@PreposterousHypothesis: I remember a lot of those pledge things at camp (none for virginity, thankfully). Even though I believed and thought the pledges were good, I would never stand up or go and light the candle or whatever. I guess I've always been a bit contrary, but stuff like that has always bothered me because it seems so manipulative.
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PreposterousHypothesis
06/24/09

@Plate2.18: It really is. It's more of a group thing, and if you DON'T do it you stand out. I was all for it for myself, but to make others, who weren't so comfortable with it, feel like they NEEDED to do it? I didn't think that was so cool. Plus, it's putting your sexuality on display, just in another way. It's also why even in my most devout, sex-eschewing days, I never wore a purity ring or talked about my virginity.
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lalaland13
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
Oh no it's this Wait bitch. That woman...my God. She needs to get out of high school kids' genitals already.

Actually, herpes can happen when you're married, too. Because one of you could be unfaithful. All of this shit could happen at anytime. Marriage is not a guarantee. See: Stanford, Mark.
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lalaland13
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
OK, I hope this isn't too OT, but while I probably got some abstinence-only stuff (it definitely wasn't comprehensive), the thing I remember most vividly about health class is a video on the evils of abortion. I'd like to hear from both blue and red staters how that was handled, if at all. We were told it was bad. By a volleyball coach who is, you know, the authority on these things, as he has a penis.
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hydrogen_jukebox
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
My former high school's idea of comprehensive sex ed was calling an assembly where a bunch of nuns from a crisis pregnancy center handed out plastic fetuses, pamphlets about God's love, and pictures of babies who "survived" the option of abortion.

A few weeks later, in health class, they showed us a video from the early 90s about STDs, and focused on the horrific situation of a woman with AIDS who had to take a bucket of pills each day. Then the teacher glared at us, as if to say, "This is what will certainly and without fail happen to you if you even think of having sex."

I think I turned out all right. I mean, I'm here, aren't I.
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JesiDangerously
06/24/09

In reply to Comprehensive Sex Ed Versus Abstinence-Only Programs: A Comparison
I live about an hour from Longview. This is pretty much representative of how my sex ed classes went when I was a kid.

"If you have sex, you will get an STD, or pregnant, and die! Sex is dirty and dangerous and you should only do it with your spouse."
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lalaland13
06/24/09

@JesiDangerously: Oh shit I just realized this was in Longview. I grew up probably not far from you, then. Oh my god. Oh my effin' God. I can't even watch the dice game go on. I'm too enraged. Damnit, Longview and East Texas.
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TheFormerJuneBronson
06/24/09

@JesiDangerously: See, that's the thing I find so baffling about ab/ed. If sex is so dirty and dangerous, why on earth would you want to do it with/to someone you're supposed to love for the rest of your life? It's a good thing I didn't take up bedtime knife-juggling until I found That Special Someone, because I wouldn't want to waste that kind of show on just anyone.
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