Salon's Mary Elizabeth Williams writes that "it was a big freaking deal when Rob Lowe had a romp with underage girls or Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee enjoyed connubial bliss," but that after the creepy night-vision of "1 Night in Paris," the cultural relevance of the sex tape began to wane. She explains,

With each new revelation of a dirty video lurking in a famous closet, the shock at the genre itself dies a little more. Had honeymoon movies of J.Lo emerged when she married her ex in 1997, it might have been a cause célèbre. Now? Big whoop. The explicit sex tape and the compromising photo are no longer potential career ruiners, nor are they the hallmark of a wild, anything-goes character — not when so many of us, famous and not, have been there and done that. It's a fair assumption that if there aren't explicit images of you floating around somewhere, you may not have a sex life. Or a phone.

It's true that it's hard to imagine one of the main tragedies of Trainspotting — Tommy's life is basically destroyed after he and his girlfriend make a sex tape — taking place today. And Prejean's incriminating solo footage seems like less a source of humiliation and more a serendipitous — or even savvy — book-tour booster. But perhaps the most telling evidence of the sex tape's incipient passe-itude is the fact that Us Weekly is now linking it to yet another stale and overexposed cultural phenomenon: armchair diagnoses of narcissism.

Sex expert Dr. Jenn Berman tells the tabloid that people who make sex tapes "like the spotlight. You may have some narcissistic tendencies, and you're more likely to have an exhibitionist side." Therapist Rhonda Findling, author of the no doubt edifying Don't Call That Man!, adds that such folk "are naive and in denial," and that sex-tapery "should be considered self-destructive." But if you must film yourself fucking someone, she says, choose "somebody you can trust, who doesn't have a track record of being deceitful or damaging other people's careers or being manipulative." Sage advice: when making a sex tape, try to pick a partner who has not sold any sex tapes before. Findling also recommends "a contract or a letter of agreement beforehand saying you can't release it." Hot.

I guess the message for young people today is: go ahead and make sex tapes if you feel like it. Probably no one will give a shit. Of course, if you get caught "sexting" while in high school, you might get accused of child pornography or thrown off the cheerleading squad. Because for everyone who claims there's no hysteria left surrounding a particular sexual practice, there's somebody ready to fan those hysteria-flames right back up to bonfire levels — or just to pick a slightly new practice to freak out about. So while sex tapes may now be the province of tired trend pieces featuring questionable experts, the next rainbow party is just around the corner, and our appetite for sex is matched only by our desire to judge others for having it.

The Celebrity Sex Tape Jumps The Shark [Salon]
Expert: Stars Make Sex Tapes Because They're "Narcissistic" [Us Weekly]

Prejean's careful to say that she "takes responsibility" for the tape, which she made by herself when she was 17 and sent to a boyfriend she "loved and cared about." When it comes to the release public discussion of the tape, however, she blames an ongoing smear campaign against her — and Fox News' Sean Hannity, unsurprisingly, is only too happy to indulge her. He compares her to Sarah Palin, Michelle Malkin, and Ann Coulter and, in what might be the Softball Question of the Year, asks, "Do you think conservative women are targeted for their views?" "Absolutely," says Prejean.

She may be right that, because she's young, attractive, and female, her sex life gets more attention than, say, Hannity's. It's tempting to say that this is because she tried to pass judgment on other people's lives, and that's certainly part of it. But really, it's not just conservative women who are subject to sexual scrutiny — it's all women. And for Prejean to claim that she, as a conservative, is being uniquely "silenced" simply shows that she's not paying attention. First of all, appearing on multiple television shows to promote your book doesn't constitute silence. And second of all, perhaps Prejean should listen more closely to the ways her conservative supporters describe liberal women.

Prejean actually gets a remarkably fair treatment on Today, with an opening segment implying that she lost her job as Miss California for her views on gay marriage, not for being an impossible employee. Nonetheless, Prejean takes her appearance as an opportunity to claim that "so many Americans believe that [...] they should be silent, and free speech doesn't exist," and that "there's an extreme double standard that conservative women are under attack for whatever it is." After Meredith Vieira pushes her a bit on her claim that she's been "Palinized," she cites Keith Olbermann's criticism of her, and adds,

If Sean Hannity [...] said anything about Sonia Sotomayor or Michelle Obama, he would be off the air. And that's the reason I wrote this book.

But in fact, Sean Hannity has said plenty of bad things about Sonia Sotomayor, and he remains on the air to give Prejean far more publicity than she's earned. Though she doesn't deserve to have her sex life made public, she also doesn't deserve some kind of immunity from all media slings and arrows, especially when she is promoting a book. She says her sex tape was "the biggest mistake of my life," but I can think of a bigger one: forgetting that freedom of speech cuts both ways, and that if she's allowed to speak out against gay marriage (and get enormous media exposure doing it), other people are allowed to criticize her.

Carrie Prejean: "I'm Still Standing" [MSNBC]
Sean Hannity Interviews Carrie Prejean About Her Sex Tape [YouTube]

In an article creepily titled "You Know You Want To Watch That Video," Monica Hesse describes the footage thus:

Last Thursday, a video featuring a primping blonde in a hotel room surfaced on an adult Web site. The accompanying post hinted that the woman was a drool-worthy sports personality. On Friday, her Los Angeles attorney, Marshall Grossman, affirmed that it was Andrews, and that the video had been taken by an unknown peeping Tom.

Despite legal warnings, the video went viral, with top Google searches including "Erin Andrews peephole pictures" and "Aaron Andrews" ("from lewd but illiterate voyeurs"). Hesse's article is mostly concerned with the moral question of to-watch-or-not-to-watch, and she writes,

Perhaps it is your duty to watch, just to be informed. Wouldn't you watch a naked video of, say, Chris Berman, just because it was there?

But Will Leitch, writing at his former haunt, Deadspin, thinks maybe "you" wouldn't, or at least not in such large numbers. He writes,

This is not just any sideline reporter snoop video. It's Erin Andrews. If this is Holly Rowe, or Jill Arrington, or Michele Tafoya, this story is over in a day, if it even goes that far. But it wasn't. It was Erin Andrews. She was not called America's Sideline Sex Object: She was called America's Sideline Princess. Lisa Guerrero posed for Playboy. Jamie Little models when she's not updating us on NASCAR. Andrews was never like that.

Leitch goes on to say that Andrews was too busy traveling to pose for a photo shoots, but the implication is still there: she was too good. She was a Princess. Seeing her naked was different than seeing other sportscasters naked because she didn't have a "sex object" image. Leitch makes it clear that he doesn't condone this view, and that no one, Playboy model or not, deserves to be filmed against her will, but he may be right: Internet viewers may be more excited about objectifying women they haven't already objectified.

Erin Andrews isn't the first "good girl" to be exposed in this way. Vanessa Williams famously resigned her Miss America title after someone tried to publish nude photos of her without her consent. A relatively tame sex tape purporting to feature Kristin Davis (Sex & the City's prudish Charlotte), surfaced last year. God-loving, gay-hating Carrie Prejean raised a stir with her topless photos. And just last week, celebhotline.com claimed to have nude footage of Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester doing something or other with her feet.

So why are the anonymous and click-happy denizens of the interwebs more interested in a princess than a Playboy model? The simplest reason would be the opportunity to see something they don't ordinarily get to see — a body not usually on such display. Another, creepier reason, though (especially creepy in Andrews's case, because she didn't even know she was being filmed), is the unwillingness factor. Unlike a Playboy model, a princess doesn't want you to see her naked. Newsweek's Jenny Yabroff writes,

What's really provocative about the Andrews tape, what makes it good copy for Fox et al., is not that she's naked, but that she thinks she's alone.

Privacy, it seems, is the new nudity. This is why, when Jennifer Aniston poses topless for the cover of GQ magazine no one does more than shrug, but when paparazzi catch her sunbathing topless, its tabloid fodder for weeks. Same with Britney Spears. Same with Janet Jackson. It's not so much a desire to see nudity as it is to see candor, to see what the person looks like when she's unaware she's being watched. [...] No matter how much access a celebrity gives us-posing naked, appearing on a reality TV show, revealing her deepest secrets in an interview-we're more interested in whatever part she wants to keep to herself, no matter how tiny or inconsequential.

Maybe the fascination of the Andrews footage is partly about "candor," but it's also about taboo — the thrill of seeing something you're not supposed to see. And it's about the sexual value of a woman's perceived virtue — as 1960s frat boys will tell you, a fallen Madonna is better than a whore.

Did Erin Andrews's efforts to be taken seriously as a sportscaster actually feed this scandal (this is especially upsetting in light of TMZ's allegations
that the shooter of the footage may have been affiliated with ESPN, and thus familiar with Andrews's image and reputation)? And if so, how the hell are female sportscasters — female anything — supposed to win? At least, Hesse writes, the hotel footage is now harder to access, and links to it may point to viruses. Using an especially accusatory second-person, she says,

Your inner voyeur is slightly disappointed, clicking link after link, knowing that you would watch the appalling video for all the right reasons.

One thing's for sure: there are no right reasons.

You Know You Want To Watch That Video [Washington Post]
Jennie Yabroff: Erin Andrews' Peephole Pictures Are Privacy Porn [Newsweek, via True/Slant]
Andrews Peeping Tom — ESPN Investigating [TMZ]

Related: Erin Andrews And Guilt, Imagined And Otherwise [Deadspin]

David Feltmeyer, 34, of Chesterfield, Virginia, pleaded no contest in April 2007 to a misdemeanor charge stemming from his making a DVD of him and his girlfriend having sex. Feltmeyer had originally been charged, the month before, with a felony—distribution of obscene material—after he was accused of placing multiple copies of the DVD, with his ex's name and address, on car windshields in Richmond. After men started showing up on the woman's doorstep, evidently mistaking the DVD for a solicitation, Feltmeyer was contacted by the police, who searched his apartment. Soon after, Feltmeyer turned himself in. But because prosecutors were unable to prove that he'd distributed the DVD—Feltmeyer admitted only to making it and sending a copy to his ex—the felony charge didn't stick, and Feltmeyer received a suspended 90-day sentence and 30 hours of community service.

Moral of the story, as usual: do not let someone film you having sex with them. Or if you must, wear a mask! Preferably Nixon, Reagan or another President. You can be Baberaham Lincoln for ultimate humor value.

Revenge Porn [Details]

• In her new memoir, Auditions, Baba Wawa gives the dirt on Star Jones' and Rosie O'Donnell's departures from the View; On Rosie: "The premise of 'The View' is that of a team working together, but for Rosie it was more like Diana Ross and the Supremes, as little by little she took over." [NYDN]
  
• The problem with Miss Jones was not just her diva behavior (though Walters et. al. were embarrassed about her fiasco of a wedding to Big Gay Al) it was that Star made her View-mates lie about her gastric bypass. Walters writes: "Joy [Behar], in particular, resented having to go along with a lie that implied all one needed to do was situps and ingest one cookie instead of two."[NYDN]
  
• The septuagenarian Babs is so scandalous! She also talks about her adulterous affair with Massachusetts Senator Edward Brooke, the first black Senator since reconstruction. [NYDN]
  
• Jimi Hendrix's sex tape? A hoax, cries the company that owns the rights to Jimi's music. Sigh. We'll always have Cynthia Plaster Caster. [Reuters]
  
• Marilyn Monroe's sex tape? The FBI cries fake! It's amazing how many stars can issue denials from the grave. [MSNBC]

• Speaking of fake naked Marilyns, Lilo's alleged lady love Sam Ronson is suing the lawyers she hired to sue Perez Hilton for defamation. Sam Ron says the lawyers "grossly overcharged" her. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus is skipping a Disney appearance in Orlando the wake of her Vanity Fair sorta nudie pics. She didn't want Mickey Mouse's ears to turn red. [Yahoo]
• Pete Doherty: getting out of the pokey today. The Babyshambles frontman spent 29 days in jail, and according to a friend, Petey will "go straight to play a gig — and then get smashed," upon his release. Oy. [The Sun]
• More on Star Jones! NBA star Dwyane Wade denied a romantic relationship with the much-older Jones, saying they're "just friends" on the TNT show Inside the NBA. Inside co-host and consummate gentleman Charles Barkley added, "I like Star. She's a cougar." [AP via Yahoo]
• Uma Thurman took the stand yesterday in a lawsuit against her stalker, Jack Jordan. Thurman said Jordan's persistent letters, phone calls and visits made her fear for her life. Poor Uma! [UPI]
• Pam Anderson Lee Rock Salomon is holding an estate sale for her Malibu pad before she retires to Vancouver. She is selling a jacuzzi, among other things. Might want to steer clear of it — I hear the skeeze of Rick Salomon is water soluble. [E! Online]
• The Mariah/ Nick Cannon wedding — reportedly no pre-nup! If Cannon ever tries to lay claim to Mariah's vast collection of Hello Kitties, you know she'll have her unicorn cut him. [Perez]
• Even though Britney still doesn't have custody of her kids, she will spend Mother's Day with wee Jayden James and Sean Preston. Aw. [MSNBC]
• This headline says it all: "Rob Lowe's ex-nanny discusses her countersuit, cries." [AP via Yahoo]

Earlier: David Letterman Asks L.C. If Spencer Is In The "Tick Family"

*Um, did that happen after the take-out margaritas?

Ha ha, funny we asked, because Redbook answered this same question back in May! We almost forgot! Turns out women over the age of 35 who read Hearst magazines really are taping themselves having sex. Soccer moms! Completely not like us!