• Roman Polanski's lawyer, Herme Temime, says a "very, very significant" cash bail offer will be made to Swiss authorities on Monday, and that Polanski will accept "whatever" extradition decision is made, as Polanski wouldn't behave "like a fugitive." [AP]

• TMZ recently acquired a copy of a book Richard Heene wrote in 1994 titled "The Official Offensive Driving Handbook," which includes references to "Towelheads" and "Orientals" and a picture of Heene on the toilet. [TMZ]
• In more irritating reality dad news: Michael Lohan says his friendship with Jon Gosselin is over after Jon became "secretive and distant." [Radar]
• Meanwhile, Dina and Lindsay Lohan are teaming up to fight back against Michael Lohan and his plans to take control of Lindsay's life. Says Dina: "He is hurting Lindsay. It breaks my heart. She's like, 'Mommy, when is he ever going to stop?' He is also six months behind in his child support. On Monday, we will file a violation order, and if he doesn't pay, he'll go to jail." [PageSix]
• Lindsay, meanwhile, has taken to her Twitter account to share her feelings on her father: "My father is a lunatic and doesn't even deserve such a title since he's never been around in my life other than when he'd threaten me and my family. He should be where he has always put himself after verbally abusing and physically abusing people all my life-behind bars. Its so sad to get a phone call from my baby sister just now asking, ‘Why is daddy doing this?' Through tears. He's crossed the line and hurt me and my family for the the last time." [JustJared]
• "Everyone in the '70s was stoned in order to get onstage, but I was afraid of drugs . . . Now I've grown to love them."-Carly Simon [PageSix]
• Michael Jackson's This Is It won the Friday box office with $7.9 million in ticket sales. [EW]
• Adam Lambert and his boyfriend, Drake LaBry have broken up, says a source: ""The relationship just ran its course. The break-up was mutual and amicable. They remain friends and still care for each other." [JustJared]
• Paris Hilton feels "very, very violated" after her house was broken into. [People]
• "There was one time I went for a meeting for this big movie and I was up for a character who wasn't written as black. The character was a college graduate and the studio head, a woman, said, 'How can we make this role more black if we are going to have you in the film?' And I said, 'Well, I think as it's written it's fine...' And she said, 'Yeah, I know, but she is a graduate, she has been to university.' So I said, 'I've been to university.' And then it was, 'Yeah, but you're different.' I wasn't offended. It's just nonsense. But no, I didn't do the film." - Thandie Newton [DailyMail]
• Bob Marley's family has hired a company to help them protect the rights to Marley's image; counterfeit Marley products currently bring in approximately $600 billion per year. [AP]
• Christina Aguilera says she doesn't deprive herself of the food she loves and tries to keep things balanced with exercise: "I make healthy choices when I can, because it's very important for me to have moments where I can let go, have a great dinner and not care so much about the carbs. I work out five days a week – and I hate working out in the moment, I truly do. But the aftermath is so great, and it helps you feel good – not only physically, but mentally." [DailyMail]
• People of the world! The Spice Girls are set to open the 2012 Olympics in London. [Mirror]
• Ethan Hawke has only positive things to say about Madonna after she spoke out against Gypsy discrimination in Romania: "She transcended being a pop star. She drew international attention and shone the spotlight on a level of racism and the need for greater education." [Yahoo]
• "I see life in colors. When I'm depressed, and going through something, it's in black and white. The flowers are not yellow."-Mary J. Blige, explaining the lyrics to her song for the Precious soundtrack, "I Can See In Color." [LATimes]
• Elton John has been sent to the hospital due to "flu with complications." [DailyMail]
• Elizabeth Hurley says motherhood made her more aware of the dark side of the paparazzi: "‘I would be bursting into tears and just be so angry. There is something about motherhood that makes you very protective of anyone coming too near your child, and the paparazzi did things like take pictures of him nude on the beach and put them online. It was disgusting, disgraceful." [DailyMail]
• Robert Pattinson was so nervous before his Twilight audition that he had to medicate himself before performing: "I took a quarter of a Valium for the first time – and it worked. But when I tried another Valium before another audition, it backfired and I passed out." [Telegraph]
• "Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and I are all close in different ways and we've all been together now forever. It's hard to describe what it's like to be able to have gone through the crazy, crazy journey that is Sex And The City together. There is no one else we could turn to and talk about "remember when". We have years of crazy experiences together. And you can't recreate that with anybody, you can't even pull anybody else into it."- Kristen Davis [Mirror]
• Ryan Seacrest let his fans know that he was "fine...happy" via Twitter after his alleged stalker, Chidi Uzomah was arrested last week. [People]
• "You know, my mother – who was an opera singer – used to use the term as a compliment; it meant a very talented singer. But I looked it up in the dictionary recently and now it also means a difficult and demanding woman. I guess people like to put you in a little box, and that box fits me because I have the big hair, and I wear the tight dresses on stage. But that doesn't mean I'm difficult or nasty."-Mariah Carey, on the word "diva." [Mirror]
• Michael Buble says his breakup with Emily Blunt was "one of the worst and greatest things that ever happened to me. I've learned a lot, I've become a lot more introspective. I've taken the time to get to know myself and to like myself and to respect myself." [DailyExpress]
• "I regret trying to kill Sharon. It wasn't my plan to go out, get p*ssed, try to strangle her and wake up in jail. My best moment was being successful on my own after Black Sabbath. And having my kids. And getting sober."- Ozzy Osbourne [Mirror]

Right off the bat, Finke admits she's not into lists, writing:

"Last year I was on Elle's Women in Hollywood power list; this year I was asked to write it. That's ironic, because I hate power lists more than one-size-fits-all spa robes. These influential jobs are not necessarily comparable. Are the casting directors I included more important than the cinematographers and film editors I didn't? So what I have is a very subjective roster of women I deem essential to a town run by alpha males who don't play well with others. Women in general do."

The List is split up into sections; there's The Movie Executives; The TV Executives; the awfully titled "The Wives & Daughters." But first and foremost there's The Talent — which includes Tyra Banks, Beyoncé, director Kathyrn Bigelow, Miley Cyrus, Ellen DeGeneres and Tina Fey. Also on that list? Michael Patrick King, whom Finke calls "2009's honorary female." Finke explains:

He gave us the best years of Sex and the City on TV and can be credited for reviving the chick flick in Hollywood when the movie version grossed $415 million.

The commenters on Women In Hollywood are split. One writes:

I just dislike that she left out a woman in order to include Michael Patrick King as an "honorary female". It is not good to be told that a man knows and produces women's films better than women.

But another replies:

That bugged me as well… but then I thought, well… It's the biggest film starring a cast of women of all time. He may not be a woman, but his film surely did something great for women in Hollywood, especially with a cast of women 40+.

Here's the question: If a man sympathetic to women is in power, is it as good as a woman in power? I'm going to go with: No. Because the more women pulling strings and making executive decisions the better. But since Finke makes a point about the SATC franchise being a powerhouse — and generates some buzz by including a man — she gets a pass from me. Disagree?

The Most Powerful Women in Hollywood According to Nikki Finke [Women In Hollywood]
Nikki Finke's Power List [Elle.com]
Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood

Earlier: Hollywood Heavy Nikki Finke: Victim Of Misogyny, And Misogynist Extraordinaire

• Stephanie Seymour's divorce from Peter Brant is getting even uglier. After police were called to the couple's home following Seymour's complaint that Brant's security assaulted her, Brant has accused the model of drug use and is seeking sole child custody:

• Brant alleged in court filings that Seymour sought treatment for Vicodin abuse, and subsequently became addicted to the drug Subutex, which is used to treat opiate addiction. He says Seymour has missed multiple court-required breathalyzer tests, and has twice submitted urine samples that, though clean of Subutex, were too cold to meet the minimum valid temperature. The media mogul also says Seymour "broke in" to the couple's Florida mansion and removed $700,000 worth of items, all while the kids sat in a hotel in Connecticut. [NYP]
• When fashion goes Galt, you know we're in trouble. [TDB]
• Nanette Lepore, Michael Kors, Zac Posen, Anna Sui, Betsey Johnson, and that guy who was just endorsed by Barack Obama, whatsisname, Bill Thompson, will be on Seventh Avenue on Wednesday for a rally to save the New York Garment District. Twenty-five thousand people work in the district, and designers say they need their convenient access to sample houses and manufacturers it provides, but lax enforcement of existing zoning laws and competition from cheaper labor sources overseas have led the zone to dwindle. [NYDN]
• Not to be outdone, Mayor Bloomberg — whom some designers have criticized for failing to do enough to protect the garment district — is launching a fashion incubator program for 12 up-and-coming designers this fall. [NYP]
• Woody Allen is reportedly considering casting Adriana Lima in his new movie, which is set in Rio de Janeiro. Because he's "fascinated" by her beauty. [NYP]
• "My fashion advice is to have a flattering mirror at home and then forget about it," says Vivienne Westwood. The designer lives in Captain Cook's old house, and has never sold out to a larger company or a private investor, despite some offers. And some polite nos: reports Cathy Horyn, one backer in the 90s picked another designer instead. "They could have made money with me. They lost it. I'm a woman," says Westwood. "I'm like household management or whatever it is. I would never spend more than I have." [NYTimes]
• Tim Gunn has a cameo in the Sex And The City sequel. [E!]
• JMS, a brand owned by Hanes, is adding a dedicated plus-size apparel line to its existing plus-size offerings, which were mainly jeans and underwear. It'll be sold at Wal-Mart and the creative director promises "slimming seams, strategically placed pockets, freedom of movement and appropriate-weight materials." [WWD]
• Christian Louboutin, the designer who slimmed down Barbie's ankles when he had the chance to release a line of dolls under his own name, says he never meant to imply her ankles were big before. "Fat ankles she didn't have, she just could have had thinner ankles," explained Louboutin. Still digging, then. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik: "I hate celebrities. All those pointless girls — I won't name names, but you know who I mean. They are 'famous'. Ridiculous. I like women with style: actresses like Uma Thurman, icons like Audrey Hepburn. I like women with style to wear my shoes." [Vogue UK]
• Model Selita Ebanks joins Sinbad, Darryl Strawberry, and Cyndi Lauper in the next season of Celebrity Apprentice. [NYDN]
• Pat Field made a tote bag for Diet Coke to give away with purchase, which will be available later this month from Boots stores. [Daily Express]
• Erin Wasson, presumably to avoid her dreaded homelessness, makes an appearance in the fall J. Crew catalog. She eats a necklace in one shot. [Refinery29]
• Something called the Japan Jeans Association given the country's first lady, Miyuki Hatoyama, its Best Jeanist Award. (She shares it with a pop star and an actor.) Pleased, the 66-year-old Hatoyama said, "This is the prize I have long wished to win. I'm a jeans lover. I'm always putting on jeans as they're easy to wear." She also recalled that she and her husband were each wearing jeans when they met. [AFP]
• Gee, we're so glad reporter Giles Hattersley puts that nice boss, successful businesswoman, and maker of lovely shoes Tamara Mellon in her place in this hard-hitting profile. Apparently she smokes, wears "teensy" dresses, and altogether reminds Hattersley of "the heroine of some dicey Danielle Steel bonkathon." Can't have that. [ToL]
• Love Moschino, the Italian company's lower-priced clothing line, is adding accessories to its collection. [WWD]
• Georgia May Jagger, already having nabbed the Hudson Jeans campaign, is now the face of Rimmel cosmetics. [Telegraph]
• Yasmin le Bon's daily life: "If lunch is at home then I tend to eat up leftovers from the fridge. I'm the leftover queen. I can't help it. I might mix them into an omelette or throw them all into a soup. One of the children won't eat soups any more because she's worried what old food I've put in it. Simon's mother, Ann Marie, often comes round with homemade bread and cakes." [ToL]
• Alvin Ailey company dancers will wear Mark & James, Badgley Mischka's just-announced lower-priced line, to their season opening gala on December 2. [WWD]
• Henry Holland kinda maybe sorta wants to move to New York. "Every time I come, the need to live here becomes more and more urgent and I want to go home less and less. I spend my entire time here plotting about how I would do it." But even if he did cross the Atlantic, he says he would still show his line in London. [Grazia]
• The luxury market, once in free-fall, is still declining, just not as steeply as some analysts earlier expected. Instead of the overall 10% drop in luxury sales that had originally been forecast for 2009, analysts say the industry is on track for an 8% decline in sales. [WSJ]

• The Kardashian sisters are going to put on their thinking kaps and hopefully kome up with a kollection for Bebe. [Kim Kardashian]
• Which makes about as much sense as Jermaine Jackson's rumored clothing line. [Times Of India]

• Megan Fox has been gunning for her just-announced Armani campaign, for which she was paid a rumored $2 million, for years — or approximately as long as she's been famous. She has worn Armani to events and finally met the designer at his couture show this summer. [AP]
• After missing the opportunity to release a Sarah Jessica Parker scent to coincide with the Sex And The City movie, Coty, the clever clogs company behing the actress' perfume deal, vowed to be prepared next time around. And lo, SJP NYC, a cute little pink thing in a beveled bottle, will launch next May, just in time for Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo. [WWD]
• Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas has signed a perfume deal with Avon, the preferred perfume partner of Reese Witherspoon, Courteney Cox, and Patrick Dempsey. [WWD]
• See how Selena Gomez's new clothing line, Dream Out Loud, stacks up against the luminaries of tween clothing collections past: the Olsen twins' Wal-Mart line, Miley Cyrus and Max Azria's concatenation of sequins, and the criminally God-awful Stuff By Hilary Duff. [Refinery29]
• Yeohlee Teng has been honored by the Smithsonian Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum. She says, "Fashion is so often about the Eighties, about the Seventies, but not about original thinking." Teng's preferred design philosophy? "Construct a cube, then put it on the body and watch the body activate it." Check out her current show at the Crow Collection of Asian Art in downtown Dallas. [DN]
• In some kind of grand, music-fashion-industry circle jerk, Michael Stipe will give an award to Renzo Rosso, Jon Bon Jovi will present something to Kenneth Cole, Oscar de la Renta will receive a prize from Grace Coddington, and Dita Von Teese will bestow something on Stephen Jones. In fashion, everyone's a winner. [WWD]
• Coach creative director Reed Krakoff is not only getting an eponymous fashion line, but a New York Fashion Week debut. Expect to see Krakoff on the schedule for February. [FWD]
• When I, like the Italian luxury — luxury as in $30,000 suits — label Brioni, turn 65, remind me to celebrate by releasing a limited-edition perfume and selling each of my 7,000 bottles for $399 (100 ml) r $830 (300 ml). Then, inexplicably, I'll invite Bryan Ferry to the launch. [WWD]
• Nitrolicious was given a free pair of Steve Madden's "Seryna" booties — the alleged knock-off Alexander McQueen is suing Steve Madden over — and posted an understandably glowing review, with photos. But with praise like, "These are really a good copy of the original boots but cost a fraction of the price," not to mention the fact that posts like these serve as timestamped evidence that Steve Madden is continuing to promote the product, could the company only end up developing Alexander McQueen's case? [Nitrolicious]
• We know Vera Wang won't be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars, but is it because the producers wouldn't let her design her own costumes? [FWD]
• Wang's president of creative direction, Constance Darrow, announced her resignation from the company yesterday. The designer is understood to have offered Darrow a promotion to stay. The senior vice president of worldwide marketing and communications, Elizabeth Musmanno, left Vera Wang last week. These developments could be related either to Wang's rumored reality television show, or to the arrival of new company president Mario Grauso, who starts work today. [WWD]
• Thus says model Liya Kebede: "Mothers are the world's best stimulus package because they invest in their families and their communities. When a mother dies, her children are up to 10 times more likely to die within two years. They are less likely to be immunized, more likely to be malnourished, more likely to contract HIV, and more likely to be exploited. When a mother lives, her children are fed, attend school, and know that someone exists who will do absolutely anything to make their lives better." [TDB]
• The American launch of A*Muse, Richie Rich and Pamela Anderson's eco-friendly swimwear line, sounds much like the international launch, at New Zealand Fashion Week in September. Even down to Richie's rollerskates. (I'm beginning to feel bad for the models who have to wear the samples, no doubt well-rubbed with body makeup and other people's sweat, by now.) [People]
• Ruffian's new collection for Anthropologie, Mise en Scene, is out. It's less whimsical than the retailer's typical fare, though the connection to vintage fashion is still obvious. [WWD]

• After barring a woman from helping her autistic sister try on clothes at the chain's Mall of America outpost, Abercrombie & Fitch was fined $115,264 for discrimination. Now we can say it definitively: Abercrombie doesn't like disabled people. [StarTrib]

• There are pictures of Threeasfour's inspiration boards, fabrics, and the in-progress pieces of its collection with Yoko Ono, which will be shown next week in New York. Ono contributed original artwork and inspiration to the collection, and the dot drawings that were transformed into original prints look fantastic with their repeated circular-organic shapes. [The Cut]
• Oprah is going to co-host next year's Met Ball. Oprah. Let that sink in. Co-hosting, of course, will be the woman who made her lose 20 pounds to be fit for the cover of her magazine: Anna Wintour. [Yahoo! News]
• This year's Met Ball model co-host, Kate Moss, stormed out of the GQ awards show in London because host James Nesbitt made a joke about her naked appearance on the cover of that magazine. She managed to interrupt Dizzee Rascal, who was being interviewed after accepting an award — twice. Once to storm out, and once to ask if anybody had seen her lipstick. [Telegraph]
• GQ anointed comedian and Little Britain star David Walliams as the most stylish man of 2009. He accepted the award wearing goggles and denim hotpants. [Mirror]
• Craig "Radioman" Schwartz, apparently some sort of serial movie set hanger-on, nearly rode his bicycle into Sarah Jessica Parker while she was filming for Sex And The City outside Bergdorf's. She stumbled over the curb. Do people really have nothing better to do than flashmob the SATC set? For the rest of the day, Parker was protected by ten bodyguards between takes. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, co-star Kristin Davis' line with Belk department stores has been discontinued, and the actress' planned New York Fashion Week show canceled. Belk and Davis say the decision was mutual. [The Cut]
• Three words: Lady Gaga Headphones. (No, she's not doing a side project with David Bazan.) [Engadget]
• The house of Ungaro has tapped Lindsay Lohan as an "artistic adviser" and relatively unknown designer Estrella Archs as its chief designer. When the Lindsay-for-Ungaro rumor started — back before the young, talented Colombian designer Esteban Cortazar had been fired — it sounded like crazy talk. Now it's happening. "Odds are it could work," says C.E.O. Mounir Moufarrige. [WWD]
• Heidi Klum, on that time Karl Lagerfeld sneered that he didn't know who she was, and that she was obviously fat anyway: "It's bizarre to me that he says he doesn't know who I am because he's dressed me in the past. I've worn Karl Lagerfeld. Not even Chanel – his line. Lagerfeld doesn't just send random things everywhere." Klum in fact wore Lagerfeld to the CFDA awards a few years back. [P6Mag — story not online yet]
  
• Fashion success story Christopher Kane, on childhood: "I was this wee kid who just stayed in the house, watching The Clothes Show with my mum and scrooging all the money from my first communion." [ToL]
• Model Crystal Renn, who was directed as a 14-year-old to lose 9" off her hips in order to work in the industry, and struggled for years with anorexia and exercise bulimia as a result, says that Glamour magazine was the only client who ever noticed her eating disorder, and took action by calling her then-agency, Next. Not that she was appreciative as a frightened young teen: "At the time, I was really embarrassed because someone had figured me out. They called it and brought it to light. I wasn't only not only not pleasing my agency but I wasn't pleasing Glamour. When I became a healthy model like I am now, they were one of the first people to shoot me at this size, and that says something." Renn, whose memoir Hungry came out yesterday, would like to have a plus-size clothing line because she says her rock 'n' roll aesthetic is under-represented in the larger sizes. [GlamChic]
• Tara Moss, who modeled for 10 years, now writes crime novels. And she does her own stunts: to research events for her books, she tries to experience the things her characters feel. In addition to spending days in morgues and courtrooms, flying fighter jets, and being set on fire, she has had an Ultimate Fighter choke her until she lost consciousness. [Reuters]
• Hadley Freeman says, of the attempts by models too numerous to name to raise awareness about the industry's working conditions, "The fact that all these efforts have come from models as opposed to the outside media (which gets too distracted with painting models as evil fem-bots and harbingers of eating disorders to see them as underpaid homesick teenagers), suggests maybe people find the idea of models making them feel fat more upsetting than the very real fact of models being raped." The serial rapist designer Anand Jon Alexander was sentenced to 59 years in prison this week; other sources interviewed for this story express amazement that any of his victims, all young models over whom he had authority, came forward at all. [Guardian]
• Anna Sui's Gossip Girl-inspired Target collection launches this weekend online and in 600 stores nationwide — and today, if you live in New York and are willing to go to a pop-up store in a townhouse on Crosby St. [WWD]
• A woman told the Post that sometimes she goes to Yigal Azrouël's Meatpacking District store to try on clothes "just to be naked in the same room with him." Azrouël is sexy and all, but that's just creepy. [NYPost]
• This story about Fashion's Night Out, which is tomorrow, includes an unexpected reference to Fitzgerald. Then Anna Wintour says, "What am I looking to buy? Something in red, some new boots, and some kind of savage fur (that's American Vogue shorthand, so you know, for a rough, shaggy stole or collar of some kind). It's not a lot, but isn't that the whole point of shopping these days." [ToL]
• Club Monaco locations in New York City will be serving champagne until 11 p.m., and the SoHo store will have a cupcake truck outside until September 12th. [FWD]
• The Financial Times' coverage of Fashion's Night Out casts Wintour as Ben Bernanke in a grand fashion stimulus plan. [FT]
• Wintour's appearance on Letterman drew slightly higher ratings than the show's average for the week and month, but ABC's Nightline still won the timeslot. [WWD]
• "Would I think twice about buying a dress that costs $2,000? Yeah! Of course I would. I'd try it on and go home and think about it before I bought it," says Victoria Beckham. Nonetheless, she says that demand for her uber-expensive dress line is outstripping supply. [People]
• Robin Givhan reports that now, the time just before Fashion Week, is a period of "soul-searching and hand-wringing" for designers and the industry. [WaPo]
• Neiman Marcus suffered a $168.6 million loss during the fourth quarter. Revenues decreased 24%. [WWD]
• Yesterday, Gap-owned e-tailer Piperlime started selling designer clothes, in addition to shoes. [NYTimes]
• Same-store sales at Laura Ashley rose 6.7%, to £101.5m. [FT]

• Two weeks after adding Nicolas Cage's home to his sheaf of L.A. properties, Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier has announced he's moving into Michael Jackson's last residence. Audigier will rent the $38 million home from his C.E.O., Hubert Guez. [E!]

• The glove the late King of Pop wore to marry Debbie Rowe has sold at auction for $49,000. [TMZ]
• "I love Japan. I love the people, the shopping, the fashion. I think they have so much fun with fashion...they don't take it too seriously," says Nicky Hilton. Don't take fashion seriously? Because insanely awesome and carefully cultivated street fashion just happens. [WWD]
  
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks tells InStyle Weddings about her planned wedding to actor Geoffrey Arend, and specifies the designer (Carolina Herrera) and the look (Sophia Loren) of her wedding dress, but doesn't let it be photographed. [People]
• Lily Cole is a model, who is also (very) smart. The Daily Mail took a break from publishing finger-wagging paparazzi photos of her and scurrilous scuttlebutt about her to notice these facts. [Daily Mail]
• Nanette Lepore would like you to remember Labor Day by saving New York's Garment District from rapacious commercial exploitation. [NYTimes]
• Juicy Couture co-founder Gela Nash-Taylor doesn't drink out of common Starbucks cups. She has her own paper cups, because "I'm so into monogramming. I'm doing it on everything right now." [ToL]
• More than 800 stores across all five boroughs are involved in Thursday's shopping-with-fun event, Fashion's Night Out in New York City. Other regional and international events are also planned. [BrandWeek]
• Karl Lagerfeld will be tending the Chanel store with Carine Roitfeld in Paris, for example. [WWD]
• R.J. Cutler's documentary, The September Issue took in more than a quarter of a million dollars over Labor Day weekend. The $40,000 per-screen average makes it the fifth-highest-grossing documentary ever made. [AdAge]
• Meanwhile, Studio 360's Kurt Anderson says that based on the film, the fashion world is "amazingly old-fashioned, like some royal artifact from the 18th Century." [Studio360]
• The Los Angeles Times says the film "charts the intersection of art and commerce with a perhaps inadvertent eye for an excess that wasn't to last." (I am quoted in this article, proving that if you write long enough and, well, long enough on the Internet, someday someone will mistake you for an expert in something.) [LATimes]
• Anna Wintour, for her part, says that complaining about the sea change in the fashion industry that has taken place since the filming of that documentary is "like talking about that house you could've bought for nothing on the beach in Southhampton. Forget it. It's gone. The amazing golden years that everyone in the industry was enjoying were fantastic from a business point of view but also maybe a little unseemly. Every celebrity thought she could be a designer, and how many handbags? How many shoes? How much of a thing does everyone really need?" Then Wintour goes to the Macy's in Queens where she will be — on Mayor Bloomberg's orders that the event not smack of elitism — kicking off Fashion's Night Out, and upon surveying the scene, asks in a horrified voice, "Can we...enhance?" [NYMag]
• Sixteen months of declining same-store sales at the department store chain might make the budget for those "enhancements" leaner, however. [BW]
• And retailers in general, after an apocalyptic fall and winter, and a barely-improved spring and summer, are hungry for the fall sales boost that events like Fashion's Night Out are aiming to provide. [WWD]
• WWD has a beautiful, subscription-only, series of photographs of various New York designers as they prepare for fashion week. Alex Wang looks radiant and un-stressed, but the same can't be said of the male models snapped lining up for a casting at Yigal Azrouël. [WWD]
• Naomi Campbell would like to point out, for all those who called her hypocritical for modeling fur in Dennis Basso's fall campaign, that she actually quit PETA years ago. So her hypocrisy has weathered a few seasons now — like a vintage mink. [SB]
• More bad news for Annie Leibovitz: the practically-bankrupt photographer is being sued by an Italian photographer, Paolo Pizzetti, who claims that Leibovitz used his pictures without consent — or payment — for a Lavazza coffee campaign. Since Leibovitz could not travel to Italy to complete the shoot, which features images of models in romantic poses in front of Italian landmarks like the Trevi fountain and the Piazza San Marco, she had Pizzetti scout locations and take snapshots for her. Then Leibovitz shot the models in a New York studio, and digitally stitched the fore- and backgrounds together. Pizzetti says he was never paid for the rights to his contributions. [AW]
• Lady Gaga is reportedly set to perform during New York Fashion Week at an after-party for Givenchy hosted by Out magazine and to be held at The Box. [WWD]
• On the night of the 13th in New York, a short teaser film for Spring '10 by Gareth Pugh will be screened at Milk studios' M.A.C.-sponsored fashion shows in Chelsea. Although the first screening will be invitation-only, the second is open to members of the public who register on M.A.C.'s Facebook page. [Style.com]
• And newly-minted director Christian Louboutin just wrapped filming on an advertisement for Piper-Heidseick champagne starring model Elisa Sednaoui. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik says he never wanted to be a celebrity designer, and blames Sex And The City for his unwilling transformation. "If people talk to me about Sex And The City, I get sick," he told the Telegraph. "The taxi drivers recognize me now. It becomes too much and I don't feel comfortable." [PC]
• Sojin Lee's new online fashion venture, Fashionair, has launched. Lee last worked for Net-A-Porter, and her backer is Simon Fuller's company. [Forbes]
• Giorgio Armani designed a custom costume for a Spanish matador. It's grey and spangled. [Telegraph]
• Despite growing sales, profits for 2008 at Armani shrank by 41.4%, to $188.3 million. [WWD]
• Harold Tillman, a British fashion businessman who already owns Jaeger, has apparently acquired the bankrupt house Acquascutum. [ElleUK]
• Tom Binns for Disney might seem like a weird combination, because, well, it's a weird combination. [WWD]
• The Ebony Fashion Fair, an important industry event for black designers and models, is canceling its fall tour. The largest traveling fashion show in the world, Ebony helped launch the careers of talents like Kevan Hall and Tracey Reese, and raised money for various local and national charities including the NAACP and the Urban League. The economy is the culprit. [Examiner]
• Milan Fashion Week has been thrown into "chaos" by a series of re-schedulings to avoid schedule conflicts, which begat new conflicts and new re-schedulings, and then yet more conflicts and re-schedulings. [WWD]

[New York, September 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, September 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

Last week I was introduced to the holy grail of TV shows: a sitcom created by and starring women that is actually hilarious — and to both sexes! After devouring every episode of the critically acclaimed but sadly canceled BBC 3 Britcom Pulling (the second series of which just became available in the states), I came away not only with an exciting thing to share with friends, but also a new hero (series co-creator and star Sharon Horgan - the real person, not her character) and a reinvigorated optimism about the future of comedy. I'm not even exaggerating!

The series begins with Donna (Catherine Keener-esque Horgan), giving her fiance a disinterested handjob. She then calls off their wedding at the last moment, causing him to beg, vomit, and attempt suicide. Donna moves in with her frenemies, the wildly alcoholic Karen (Tanya Franks) and the dim, childlike Louise (Rebecca Staton). What ensues as these three intensely self-absorbed and irreverent characters navigate their late 20s and early 30s makes up the rest of the series.

It's impossible to describe Pulling without mentioning Sex And The City (and its creators have openly said that the show was designed as an anti-SATC), so let's get that out of the way: Pulling is like Sex And The City, but funny. Pulling is like Sex And The City, but dark, pessimistic, nihilistic, totally not uplifting, and un-romantic, featuring characters you would never want to know or emulate in real life, but whose fantastically shocking behavior will often remind you of your own darker moments taken to extremes. It's actually not like SATC at all aside from the "women friends" skeleton — it's more like Curb Your Enthusiasm than anything else — any moment of sentimentality or even decency on this show is immediately revealed to be false. There are no role models here, so don't even look, but as one reviewer put it: "There is, I'd wager, a bit of Donna in all of us. (If there isn't, I don't want to know you.)" In life and in love, these characters just can't catch a break, and none of them deserve one. Here's a representative example: in one episode, facing an outrageous veterinary bill, Karen and Louise kill a cat. With a brick. They must have had a lot of fun with the inherent metaphor in that (smash those stereotypes!) Here are a few clips from the series:

Donna breaks up with Karl in a scene more awkward than the one in Forgetting Sarah Marshall:

Donna, desperate to impress the popular girl from her school days, takes her back to her apartment:

Karen, a kindergarten teacher, has a memorable meeting at a grocery store:

There's also a 1-hour finale special that aired in the UK in May but isn't yet available here. ABC is planning a U.S. version of Pulling which will probably suck (you just can't get away with that kind of humor here), but the good news is Sharon Horgan is currently writing a pilot for HBO, and will co-star with Will Arnett, David Cross and Spike Jonze in the upcoming UK series The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret. And she has now earned her place alongside Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Sarah Silverman, Carrie Fisher, and Mindy Kaling as an invitee to my own personal fantasy slumber party (everyone has one of those, right?). Welcome!

[Via The Awl]
[Series' 1 and 2 of Pulling on Netflix]
[The Times Of London's great interview with Sharon Horgan]

Okay, so Entourage has been compared to Sex and the City in a great many places, most notably Entertainment Weekly and Slate. But when you really examine the text, you can see that some themes have definitely been recycled.

Sunday night's episode "Murphy's Lie" continued to play into the themes established by the SATC foursome. Listen to the guys discuss Eric's little slip up:

Or Eric channeling Charlotte as he tries to prevent breaking up with his current girlfriend while still pining for his ex:

I understand that the testosterone soaked words and visuals can obscure the nature of the text. So I pulled two random scenes for this season and subbed in the different characters. It works almost a bit too well.

[General Scene Changes: Charlotte has Eric's lines, Samantha has Drama's lines, Miranda has Turtle's lines, and Vince has Carrie's. I left the name Sloan is because it's unisex. All references to she have been changed to he, and pussy was replaced with dick. Other than that, the script is as it plays.]

Charlotte (E): How pathetic are you guys?

Samantha (D): Pathetic? Us? Who tells a first date that they love [him]?

Charlotte (E): Aw, yeah right, I told [him] I loved [him].

Miranda (T): You looked like you were going to tell [him] you loved [him].

Samantha (D): My point exactly.

Charlotte (E): Whatever.

Carrie (V): Aww, [Char], [they're] are just bitter because you're on a hot streak.

Charlotte (E): Thanks [Carrie].

Samantha (D): The girl's got more [dick] the last month than the previous 29 years. I wouldn't call it a hot streak, I would call it entering the twilight zone.

Miranda (T): That's what being a successful [gallery] manager does for ya.

Samantha (D): So you're saying it has nothing to do with [her], just the business card.

Miranda (T): Yup.

Samantha (D): Ah. Now I get it.

Miranda (T): So you've been banging all these dates, [Charlotte]?

Samantha (D): [S] he [w]on't bang ‘em that quickly. [Charlotte] needs to be wined and dined for at least a month.

Carrie (V): No, no, no, I think I heard banging last night. Was there banging[Charlotte] ?

Miranda (T): Well, was there banging?

Charlotte (E): Can we talk about important stuff, please?

Carrie (V): So how's Sloan?

Charlotte (E): What do you mean?

Carrie (V): I mean, how is [he]?

Charlotte (E): Oh, [he's] good.

Carrie (V): Was that a weird question?

Charlotte (E): No.

Carrie (V): Because you sure answered it kind of weird.

Charlotte (E): Did I?

Carrie (V): Yeah, didn't [s]he?

Miranda (T): Yeah.

Samantha (D): Kind of weird.

Miranda (T): You're getting back together with Sloan?

Charlotte (E): No.

Miranda (T): After one cup of coffee?

Charlotte (E): No!

Samantha (D): You're back in love with Sloan?

Miranda (T): One cup of coffee is all it takes with this [girl]!

Charlotte (E): It was a friendly meeting!

Miranda (T): Ah.

Carrie (V): A meeting.

Miranda (T): A meeting that [he] called for!

Samantha (D): It's all the [guys] [she's] been getting. [Dick] can smell other [dick] and then they have to pounce on it. That's why when you're on a hot streak, you have to press it like blackjack.

Miranda (T): Are you pressing it with Sloan, [Charlotte]?

Charlotte [E): Forget it, I'm done with this conversation.

Next Time: The Entourage Boys Take on the Sex and the City Script!

Related: Extended Fourplay [Entertainment Weekly]
It's A Guy Thing [Slate]

[New York, August 4. Image via Getty]

Actresses walk outside the Metropolitan Pavilion in New York August 4, 2009 during a open casting call for the movie sequel 'Sex and the City 2'. The movie has a tentative summer 2010 release date. AFP PHOTO / TIMOTHY A. CLARY (Photo credit should read TIMOTHY A. CLARY/AFP/Getty Images

• Nicolas Ghesquière picked the intolerably cool Charlotte Gainsbourg to advertise Balenciaga's perfume. Ghesquière calls his friend "one of the most inspiring girls in the world." Gainsbourg said, "I was secretly hoping to be the face of Nicolas' first perfume." [WWD]

• Sources are saying Rihanna has an editorial, shot by Steven Klein, in Italian Vogue's September issue. [Fashionologie]
• Julia Restoin-Roitfelt, French Vogue editor-in-chief Carine Roitfeld's daughter, is the face of a new perfume by Jil Sander. [NowSmellThis]
• Hold onto your quirky hats, everybody! There's going to be a new hour-long television drama set in the New York fashion world. Because it's going to star a lady, it'll be just like the new Sex And The City! Isn't that exciting? [Variety]
• The ten finalists in this year's CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund are: Flora Gill and Alexa Adams of Ohne Titel; Natalie Chanin of Alabama Chanin; Patrik Ervell, Sophie Theallet, Waris Ahluwalia of House of Waris, Wayne Lee of Wayne, George Esquivel of Esquivel Shoes, Gary Graham, Monique Péan, and Simon Spurr of Spurr. Congratulations to them all! The winners of the six-year-old cash and mentorship award will be announced on November 16; past honorees include Proenza Schouler, Alexander Wang, and Doo-Ri Chung. [WWD]
• Doo-Ri Chung is just one of many designers whose business has been hurt by the economic downturn. Chung is owed more than $60,000 by the owners of Jake, a small, independent Chicago boutique. Specialty retailers have been among the hardest-hit in the whole retail sector, but the two men behind Jake, Jim Wetzel and Lance Lawson, actually managed to reorganize their company when it went bankrupt, and continue on as employees of a new entity, the Jake Retail Group. Except that Jake Retail Group did not assume liability for any of the store's debts — meaning that Chung, plus other young designers like Brian Réyes, Tina Lutz and Marsha Patmos of Lutz & Patmos, and Emma Fletcher of Lyell, are out tens of thousands of dollars each for clothes they made and shipped, and Jake sold, but which haven't been paid for. [NYTimes]
• Lyle Lodwick, brother of fameballer Jakob, is a male model. He says that male models take their jobs less seriously than women models do — which is generally true — but also that women models are, naturally, bitchier. "I've heard horror stories of girls putting needles in a girl's shoes so when she's on the runway she'll fall over." Lodwick: Whichever sweet model lady told you that is pulling your leg. [TDB]
• Ossie Clark, the iconic British label that was briefly revived by private investors, is closing again. [WWD]
• The occasion of Berlin designer Patrick Mohr's recent homelessness-themed collection, where he had homeless people walk his runway caked in mud, is used to peg a list of other politically edgy collections of varying levels of success — like John Galliano's own Spring 2000 homelessness-themed couture work, Rei Kawakubo's 1995 Comme des Garçons collection that looked like concentration camp victim uniforms, and Karl Lagerfeld's 1994 appropriation of verses from the Koran. Somehow, the list ends with nary a mention of Miguel Adrover's 2001 MeetEast collection, which was so widely panned it drove the talented designer out of business. [TDB]
• Alber Elbaz: ""The people I chose to run my new store in London are nice. I cannot work with bitches, I can't, I can't. Maybe I am too sensitive, I get blocked. There are some people who don't give a damn. With me, I find that if there is no energy flowing or no connection, I can't think. Talent is amazing - I love it, appreciate it. I respect talent a lot. But if you ask me, ‘Talent and bitch, or less talent and good?' I'll go with less talent." [MyFashionLife]
• New York attorney general Andrew Cuomo caught the firm behind the "Lifestyle Lift" cosmetic surgery procedure posting fake customer reviews and testimonials on the Internet — and won a $300,000 settlement for the astroturfing. [Clickz]
• U.K. lingerie maker Intimas is in bankruptcy administration. Around 200 jobs are at risk. [ToL]
• Liz Claiborne, which has been struggling in the recession, renewed its C.E.O. William McComb's contract, but didn't give him a raise — just a bigger bonus. [WSJ]
• That story about how Crocs are going bust is getting written again, this time kind of artlessly. [WaPo]
• In the second quarter, net income at Joe's Jeans fell 17.8%, on a same-store sales decline of 4.3% [WWD]
• Chemists have traditionally been unable to produce fabrics that are reliably water-repellent when doused with hot, instead of cold, water. Which is why the development of a hydrophobic fabric coating that can repel hot water is potentially exciting news. Scientists think it could have applications in protective clothing, for instance for people who are at risk of scalding burns. [NS]

• 42-year-old Kristen McMenamy, whose deeply unconventional beauty shone in many of the most memorable fashion photographs of the early '90s, was chosen by Steven Meisel for the new cover of Italian Vogue. [FWD]

• Yves Saint Laurent's Stefano Pilati, whose recent ads have starred Naomi Campbell, continues his run with the '90s supes in his Fall 2009 campaign. Christy Turlington, wearing pleated pants that do no women any favors, poses against a white background, inside a black picture frame that floats in space. [Telegraph]
• Speaking of Naomi Campbell, she'll be the face of Dennis Basso this fall. Basso is a well-known fur designer, and Campbell once famously declared that she'd rather go naked than wear fur, but obviously her naked avarice got in the way. [WWD]
• Madonna wore jet-beaded Givenchy couture on stage in London. Says designer Riccardo Tisci, "She's wearing an outfit that will make history." [People]
• The couture shows get underway in Paris today, and in this economy, selling $70,000 dresses seems like a difficult task. But at Christian Lacroix, whose house recently declared bankruptcy, there is an order backlog for more than 20 outfits. [WWD]
• That still might not save Lacroix. Employees were told Friday of a restructuring plan that would cut the 124-strong workforce to 12, and reduce the Lacroix label to a licensing operation. The only hope is for a buyer to step in. [WWD]
• Prodigious design talent — and rumored Madonna collaborator — Christian Audigier has some sharp words for Victoria Beckham and her celebrity dress line. "I like her, she is a nice girl, but she is not completely my style. I have seen some of her designs — they are very simple. It's difficult for an artist or a singer to enter into the world of fashion," quoth the popularizer of such classics as the trucker hat and the tattoo t-shirt. "You can't just rely on your name to help you sell. The way to sell and who to sell to and what you want to accomplish, these are all things you will need help with if you're entering into the world." [HindustanTimes]
• "I can't analyse my appeal. If I did I'd be in a straitjacket," reports supermodel Daria Werbowy. "I am very lucid in relation to the reality of this industry, the ephemeral nature of beauty and fame,' she says, 'and that gives me a certain distance and quite a bit of humour." [Telegraph]
• Stylist Patricia Field took the opportunity of an interview with the Mirror to settle an old disagreement with Kristin Davis. And with A-line skirts, which we always have found extremely flattering. "I hate the A-line skirt. It's like a lampshade. Ugly. Kristin Davis always wanted to wear A-line skirts as she thought it hid her big behind. She has a fabulous figure – she is completely hour glass, and I would say: ‘Kristin, you have a small waist – show off your round ass!' She would never show it. I wanted to make her into a Bettie Page in Sex And The City, but all she wanted were A-line skirts and Ralph Lauren clothes." [Mirror]
• Meanwhile, Roberto Cavalli has deep thoughts on our economy. "I never pay attention to costs — it's not attractive to speak about numbers. Why can't we just focus on the beauty of an object? I don't know anything about the financial crisis." [ToL]
• Times of London writer Shane Watson asks whether Abercrombie & Fitch's decision to tell an employee with a prosthetic arm to stay in the stockroom was really all that surprising, given the chain's refusal to hire anyone who isn't "regulation cute." Because discriminating against disabled people is exactly the same as dictating your employees hair length and nail polish colors! [ToL]
• Seeing the Wall Street Journal's perspectival dry-point etching of a man wearing skinny jeans totally makes up for this pedestrian story about how the trend caught on. [WSJ]
• Foot wear maestro Manolo Blahnik: "Are shoes so important? Really? If I was a woman, I would be dressed in the same thing for a month and just change my hat and gloves. Maybe my shoes too; yes, I see what you mean but, really, it's jewels that change an outfit. And I do love gloves. And I adddore hats. There are toooo many shoes now. I always tell the children, 'Don't do shoes! Do hats!' And the shoes are so strange, so vulgar. I hate these platforms that are all over the place today; they are all about grabbing attention. They are suburban! I never do a platform. Well, I did, in the 1970s, but that was a bad experience." [FT]
• Ben Westwood, Vivienne Westwood's fetish photographer son, whose latest exhibit featured bound models with the heads of celebrities' children inexpertly Photoshopped onto their bodies, is launching a men's wear line. London Fashion Week must be holding its breath. [Harper's Bazaar]
• Children's apparel is more resilient than other sectors of the clothing market during economic downturns. Why? Kids grow. [WWD]
• The Guardian reviewed R.J. Cutler's The September Issue, and called it "utterly riveting." The paper also said, of the relationship between stylist Grace Coddington and editor Anna Wintour, "to watch them do battle over whether or not to shoot a rubber dress is to see the great fashion battle of creativity versus commerciality acted out in an urbane New York office: a Punch and Judy show scripted by Woody Allen." [Guardian]
• If this is news to anyone here: online ads in the form of fake quizzes, à la Coach's new "Are you a Poppy girl?", are rigged. We are all Poppy girls, in the eyes of Reed Krakoff. Buy a $198 tote bag now! [TBM]
• Apparently, while New York has been drowning in a consistent downpour since mid-April, London has been having a heat wave. Unsurprisingly, sales of bikinis — and beer — have spiked. [FT]
• Because he is paid primarily in stock and options, Ralph Lauren's compensation slipped by more than 40% in value this year. He still made $20.3 million. [WWD]
• Despite cashflow concerns, Prada is still opening stores at a fast clip. Two new boutiques will open this month in Paris and Prague, and the company plans to keep up its 2008 pace, which saw 34 new stores open, for the next three years. [WWD]
• For those nights when you can't seem to remember your underwear, behold: the anti-paparazzi handbag! Activated by camera flashes, the bag emits a beam of light (clue: it's like a slave flash) powerful enough to ruin anyone's shot. [BoingBoing]

• Just what you always wanted: Heidi Montag has posed for the September issue of Playboy:

Here is the obligatory quote about how classy it is: "There is nudity. It's tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it," says a source. [People]

• Wait, what? Rihanna and Chris Brown requested seats together at the NBA Finals game in Orlando, Florida. Some kind of carefully orchestrated show of support?!?!?! [ET]
• Oh, no: This report states that Rihanna and Chris Brown did not sit together. [Page Six]
• Madonna's adoption appeal: Approved. She's in the process of working out the details and getting Mercy to New York. [BBC News, Daily News, People]
• Kristin Davis says of the Sex And The City sequel: "I haven't read the actual script yet; we're supposed to get it this week." But she says some of the characters known for Manolos and martinis might be feeling the sting of the recession: "I don't think we are totally switching to a new shoe brand, but there are definitely some effects of the economic situation that will be felt, but I don't know if [the consequences will be felt] across the board or specific to certain characters." [WWD]
• Kanye West and Chanel Iman: Seen getting cozy. [Page Six]
• Kanye West is also into Lady GaGa: "I'm into her style. It's hot right now. I mean, I'm a guy - so obviously I'm into her." Guess what? they're going on tour together! [Daily News]
• Kanye West performed for 3,000 teens in his hometown of Chicago at an event for the Kanye West Foundation, a nonprofit working to decrease dropout rates and improve literacy. It was co-founded by Kanye's late mother, who worked in education for years. The kids who got to see Kanye were students who had improved their grades and attendance; Chicago has a 50% dropout rate. [MSNBC]
• Were the Usher divorce reports just a rumor? His wife doesn't seem to know anything about it ,and there's no record of him filing… yet. But also, his wife hasn't spoken to him "in a few days." [TMZ]
• According to this report, Usher hasn't filed for divorce yet, but a clerk with Cobb County Superior Court in Georgia says, "we had a telephone conversation last week with an attorney asking how to file for them." Why the divorce? One source rails: "Tameka is crazy. His mother didn't even go to their wedding because she didn't approve!" [Gatecrasher]
• BREAKING: Anne Hathaway upstaged by raccoon. [Page Six]
• Sonny Bono's widow — Congresswoman Mary Bono — says she "loves and supports Chaz" — meaning Chastity Bono, who is transitioning from female to male. [TMZ]
• Did Chastity Bono's rep want cash for her sex change story? [National Enquirer]
• Even though Kate Winslet said "it's very tempting to have a nanny and live in a gated community," her rep clarifies: "'She has a part-time nanny." [Daily Mail]
• Doug Reinhardt's rep released a statement about his relationship with Paris Hilton, which reads: "Doug refuses to take part of this ridiculous media circus. He wishes Paris and all of her future boyfriends the best of luck." All together now: Oh. Snap. [TMZ]
• Paris Has already moved on, to Madrid Real soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, who is what is technically referred to as a serious hottie. [Page Six]
• This story about a late mortician accused of misusing burial funds is "notable" because the estranged wife of the man, J. Jeffrey Fretti, is named Tamara, and she is the sister of Katie Holmes. [Toledo Blade]
• When it comes to dating someone much older, Evan Rachel Wood, 21, who was with Marilyn Manson, 40, says: "I don't think it works. I think it's a bad idea. I think as long as you learn from it - good or bad experience - it's an experience, and you should take something away from it." Of the new Woody Allen film Whatever Works, Evan says: "I spoke to Larry [David] about it and told him if the relationship went any further sexually I wouldn't have done the movie... That's one of the things that I liked about the relationship in the movie; it never crosses that line or gets creepy." [Daily Express]
• Wow. According to this article, "Before [Jada Pinkett Smith's new show] Hawthorne and HBO's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency debuted a few months ago (starring Jill Scott), it had been 35 years since an African-American woman was the lead in a TV drama." [Newsweek]
• Even though Carrie Prejean has been telling everyone she and her new boobs were offered Playboy, insiders say there was never an offer on the table. Hmm. [Extra]
• A "select band of Los Angeles wordsmiths," Lab Twenty6, has refused to let Peaches Geldof join their discussion group. [The Sun]
• Joy Behar rarely leaves her neighborhood. So what? [NY Mag]
• Eva Mendes got all verklempt while discussing her work with The Art of Elysium, an organization that encourages working actors, artists and musicians to voluntarily dedicate their time and talents to children battling serious medical conditions. Thank God for waterproof mascara," she sniffed. [WWD]
• Katie "Jordan" Price bought a horse, which this paper claims "will ease the pain of her split with hubby Peter Andre." [The Sun]
• Weird: Someone is trying to form a group called New Kids On The Block. So the real New Kids On The Block are suing. [TMZ]
• Singer Nivea Hamilton and model Lauren London are both pregnant by rapper Lil Wayne. For some reason we thought he reproduced when you spilled water on him? [Perez]
• Amy Poehler will star in Lunch Lady, a flick based on a children's graphic novel series — titles include Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians and Lunch Lady and the Cyborg Substitute, both of which are due this summer. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Matt Damon might play Lance Armstrong in a biopic. Do we approve? [Mirror]
• "DJ Jazzy Jeff says his weekend performance in Kansas City was stopped because of censorship, not race." [AP]
• Blind item! "Which very married actor had a flirtatious folly with a gay hairdresser?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Those are two very different communities, but something they both share is love of celebration. My relationship with the gay community is long-standing and loyal, and I love them very much. I consider my music to be very gay, and I love that it is gay." — Lady GaGa on being embraced by the gay and hip-hop "communities." [USA Today]
• "She's just a great, crazy character who is psychologically complex, a textbook sociopath. But she's charming and seemingly sweet, even when she does really bad things. Who wouldn't want to play a character like that?" — Gina Gershon, on playing socialite Pat Allanson in the Lifetime mobie Everything She Ever Wanted. [USA Today]
• "[I] will sometimes hold off on the insulin, which will jack my blood sugar level up to the low 200 range. It's like how a prizefighter will want to go into the ring with his blood sugar levels high. It gives you the stamina of a bull. So, yes, sometimes I will endanger my own life to pleasure a woman." — Bret Michaels. [Perez]
• "Music is about listening not looking. That's why I wore these huge baggy dresses on stage with The Cranberries… I basically had the wrong kind of love and attention around me. I lived six years in a bus with strangers, touring the world with the band, seeing the insides of hotels. I lost touch with my friends. I was lonely all that time. I went nuts I was so lonely. These were days before mobile phones so I had to find a phonebox just to talk to my parents. I lost a lot of my youth." — from a worthwhile interview with Dolores O'Riordan. [Independent]
• Yeah, we played [brother and sister], but at least we're not related in real life! Good God! I thought it would be creepy for him, but it's not." — Evan Rachel Wood on dating former Once and Again costar Shane West. [NY Daily News]
• "Being nice and adorable isn't funny. I enjoyed being a bitch. Everyone does. They are always better written and it's a relief… Then they said, 'Here's this woman director we like, Anne Fletcher. Can she come and meet you?' I met her and within five minutes, she said the word 'vagina,' and I'm like (her voice rising giddily), 'I love her.' " — Sandra Bullock, on why she wanted to do The Proposal. [USA Today]
• "I may never hear that word 'mom.' But being a parent is not about breeding. It's about caring. And it's easy to say, but it's harder to do. When you don't have that title, you flounder and it hurts. But this is the best test of being a parent. And I just have to keep reminding myself I don't care what I get. I care what I give." — Sandra Bullock, on being a stepmom. [USA Today]
• "I get more naked this season than I did last season. We have a really great crew and everyone's really respectful. It's not an issue for me… [But] I work my ass off. I'm very careful about what I eat, and I work out a lot. My costume entails bathing suits, short-shorts and nude scenes, come on! I don't want to be perpetuating the myth that women actually do look exactly like the way they look in magazines and on television through absolutely no effort!" — Anna Paquin on True Blood. [E!]

• Damn Yankee Alex Rodriguez — previously linked to Madonna — was seen MAKING OUT with Kate Hudson in Miami. Isn't she into hairy hippies? [Page Six]

• Is there some kind of "catfight" happening on the set of Iron Man 2? This paper claims "the claws are out" and "sparks are flying" between Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson. A "source" says: "They come from different worlds and have completely different styles. Gwyneth has found Scarlett very demanding of the attention of the crew. It's not a happy set." Wimminz don't know how to work together! [The Sun]
• As you may recall, Mariska Hargitay had a partially collapsed lung, and now she reveals why: "I've been doing my own stunts on the show for 10 years. I fell wrong, basically. I collapsed my lung doing a stunt." She adds: "I'm back to my old self." [People]
• Rihanna: Spotted in the VIP room of NYC strip club FlashDancers with six friends, "tipping the girls a lot" and kissing a guy she was with. A guy who was not Chris Brown. [Page Six]
• Cynthia Nixon is engaged to ladyfriend Christine Marinoni, but says: "There are really not any wedding plans other than to do everything we can ... to see that same-sex marriage is passed in New York." Word. She continues: "I've lived here all my life. ... I want to get married in my home. I think it's really time for New York to step up to the plate." [USA Today]
• This film critic writes, "Jennifer Aniston is prime example of good actors making bad movie choices… Every time we see a new picture of her on the set of The Baster, we have to ask: Why does America's most famously single woman continually put herself in awkward positions onscreen?" [NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell and Kara DioGuardi: Not leaving American Idol. "Every year there are rumors right before the finale," spills a source. "That's all they are - rumors. It makes for good buzz." [MSNBC]
• Lily Allen's band may have trashed a hotel room, but Lily was not part of it: "They did a pretty good job of one [hotel room] in Paris. TVs out of the window and everything, but I wasn't there. I wasn't involved. I was in a different hotel. It was a day off. When I have a day off and you're in a European city the band tends to be a write off. I didn't see them for that whole day, I didn't want to. They sounded like they were in a state." [Daily Mail]
• Here are pictures of Hayden Panettiere, 19, and her new man, Welsh TV personality Steve Jones, 32, sunbathing in the south of France. [Daily Mail]
• If you're a Twihard, or just a regular person, you can see the New Moon poster in all its Photoshoppy glory at the link. [Perez]
• Your friend Kanye West pleaded not guilty to misdemeanor charges regarding that paparazzi scuffle at LAX last year. He's got a hearing on July 15. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Chelsea Handler does not want Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Pratt on her show; they were pitched to her last week, and she says: "I told my talent booker to tell their publicists to fuck off." [Perez Hilton]
• Julianne Hough previously said she was leaving Dancing With The Stars next season; now she is saying she'll work on her music for a while and return in 2010. [People]
• Mel Gibson's girlfriend: "Definitely" pregnant. Which means the National Enquirer was right. [MSNBC]
• Precious, the film based on the novel Push by Sapphire, received a standing ovation in Cannes. [Guardian]
• Katy Perry "kept everyone in business class awake with her rowdy partying" on a European flight over the weekend. A person who emerges from a giant banana does not arrive quietly. [Gatecrasher]
• Jermaine Dupri has a tattoo of Janet Jackson looking like the Virgin Mary. What have you done for her lately? [The Life Files]
• Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart says Fawcett has not been given a timetable regarding how much time she has left. "No one has said to her you have two months to live," Stewart said Monday. "So I'm looking at that as a really good sign." [CNN]
• Apparently Alana Stewart, who appears on camera throughout Farrah's Story, got $200,000 after she threatened to cancel the project. [NY Post]
• Your TV is about to get more Sherri Shepherd: Lifetime has ordered 12 episodes of Sherri, the comedy in which she plays a a single mom, paralegal and actress. [Variety]
• Pedro Almodovar's Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown: coming to TV in the US! Plus: A Broadway musical! [Breitbart]
• Colin Firth and Kevin Spacey will star in flick based on a George Orwell book. Catalonia revolves around the real-life story of how Orwell and his wife Eileen traveled to Barcelona to fight Stalinism. Sexy? [Variety]
• "Rod Stewart's wife has spoken of her heartache at being unable to conceive a second child… Stewart, who has six other children from four previous relationships, is also said to be desperate for another baby." [Daily Mail]
• Porn star Marilyn Chambers, who was found dead in her home at the age of 56 last month, died from complications of heart disease, according to the coroner's report. [Reuters]
• Rapper Dolla, whose album was scheduled to drop via Jive Records this summer, was fatally shot in the head in the parking lot of the Beverly Center mall in L.A. yesterday. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which SAG Award-winning actor has pals ship him marijuana in hollowed-out candles when he's working out of town?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I said, 'Mariah, do you fancy playing a Jewish social worker and tapping into your white side? You will have to commit to wearing dark circles under your eyes, a wig and the cheapest fabric on your body, and shedding all the layers.' And, you know, it wasn't that hard for her, because that is who she's like when we're alone. She's part of a group of African-Americans that have been blessed to have been around the world and have a little money, but who are a generation away from, if not actually from, the ghetto. We feel like a little unit - Lenny Kravitz, Mariah Carey, me. We are outsiders in our own community, a little." — Lee Daniels, director of Precious. [Guardian]
• "I didn't want to release it for a long time, because it's very personal. But I've grown so much in the past two years – I feel ready for people to see it now."— Paris Hilton on her movie, Paris Not France. [Mirror]
• "How could anyone think I would pretend to split up from my wife to grab headlines? It's just sick." — Peter Andre, who is "crushed" that his marriage to Katie "Jordan" Price has disintegrated. [The Sun]
• "I saw a woman walking a big iguana and holding it up to have a pee." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty, on why L.A. freaks her out. [The Sun]
• "I think the handful of people who disagreed with this song really misunderstood what the record was about. What I'm talking about is getting money. I was really trying to point out that Arabs have one of the richest cultures in the world, not just from a monetary standpoint but also a spiritual standpoint. In the United States and North America, we're not really identified with a particular faith. We don't really have a culture that anyone can identify with because America is a mixture taken from everyone else's [roots]. My thinking is that if we're going to take from a culture, let's take from a culture that has exemplified success for thousands of years." — Busta Rhymes, on his controversial track, "Arab Money," which uses verses from the Koran as well as statements about women and partying. [Time]
• "I think they were in a much more hopeful place when the last movie ended, and that's really all I can tell you about where we will pick them up. I was given such great stuff to do in the last movie, but it was very emotional and almost tragic. I would really like to see Miranda back in her stride, with a spring in her step. To be Samantha, to be any of the women, marriage, it might be your destination or it might not. It doesn't mean that you're just sitting by the phone weeping. You might have a very full life that you're enjoying." — Cynthia Nixon, on the Sex And The City sequel. [USA Today]
• "Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I'd been naked in the light, in front of a girl with no hiding place. I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. It put her at a weird angle. I'm not extremely well-endowed and clearly this wasn't the move." — Shia LaBeouf, on losing his virginity. [Mirror]