Heidi Does Playboy; Madonna Gets Mercy

• Just what you always wanted: Heidi Montag has posed for the September issue of Playboy:

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Candace Bushnell Explains The Secret Of Her Success

"I think the reason why the TV series has continued, and has continued as a movie, is that they have never lost the authenticity of the column." — Candace Bushnell, on Sex and the City [CNN]

Man's Attempt To Ditch Sex And The City Trivia Game Blows Up In His Face

Yesterday a man dumped the Sex and the City trivia game on the steps of a Civil War memorial in Syracuse, New York, prompting a bomb squad investigation. The box's sinister contents: fluorescent pink question cards. [NY Magazine]

A-Rod & Kate Hudson Swap Spit; Gwyneth & ScarJo "Catfight"

• Damn Yankee Alex Rodriguez — previously linked to Madonna — was seen MAKING OUT with Kate Hudson in Miami. Isn't she into hairy hippies? [Page Six]

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Tyra Dumps Paulina; Brad Drunk Dials Jen

• Oh, snap: Paulina Porizkova has been given the pink slip by Tyra and America's Next Top Model! The '80s supermodel told Craig Ferguson on the Late, Late Show:

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Are Women These Days Not Into Sex?

Esquire writer Stephen Marche asks, "Where have all the loose women gone?" Excellent question! More »

Kate Moss Is Writing A Kosher Cook Book; Sam Serves Lindsay A Coke Cake

• Kate Moss has been cooking for her boyfriend, Jamie Hince. Now she wants to be the first supermodel to release a cook book and it may be kosher for passover.

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Runway's In, Britney's Glam, And Topshop, Topshop, Topshop!!!!

• The good news: Runway is safe. The bad news: yup, it's on Lifetime. [AdAge]
• Britney Spears cuts a revealing figure in her new Candie's ad. Candie's: the last refuge of a scoundrel. [NYDN]

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"Forget Slumdog Millionaire": It's All About The Manolos In Mumbai

When we saw the headline "The Carrie Bradshaws of Mumbai" on the Daily Beast, we were prepared for mixed feelings. More »

Mickey Rourke's Dog Goes To Heaven

• Sad face: Mickey Rourke's 18-year-old chihuahua, Loki, has died. Rourke called Loki "the love of his life." And famously thanked his all his dogs in his Golden Globes speech. RIP little dude! [E!, TMZ]

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Why Are The Germans Being So Mean To "Heavy" Heidi Klum?

• German fashionisto: "She's is no runway model. Heidi Klum is simply too heavy and has too big a bust. And she always grins so stupidly. That is not avant-garde - that is commercial." Me-ow! [VogueUK]

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Strawberry Shortcake Gets The Sex In The City Treatment

Need a reason to bang your head on your desk today? A reader has sent in a pic of this Strawberry Shortcake puzzle, wherein the beloved character has been designed to resemble Carrie Bradshaw. More »

Madonna Gets The Kids, Jessica Gets Support, And DMX Gets 90 Days

• Guy Richie will not fight ex-wife Madonna's plans to move their children to the United States, claiming that he would rather keep his children together than tear them apart with a nasty custody battle. [Mirror]

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Alan Cumming Comments On The President's Penis

• Alan Cumming thinks that our new President, Barack Obama, has a large, ahem, unit:

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Are Brad And Angie Moving To New York?

• The Jolie-Pitt brood may be relocating to Long Island, New York while Angie films Edwin A. Salt. Surely they picked LI because they wanted a sophisticated, cultural capital on par with France and Germany. [Extra]

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Everyone's Getting More Sex, Whether We Want It Or Not

• More Manolos and man-drama: The Sex And The City sequel is on. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are all on board… and getting more cash. [Us]

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Working Girls: TV's Office Dress Codes Are Business-Cocktail

We get that TV has to sex stuff up. But is it a good thing that every female exec in Prime Time is wearing 5" heels? More »

Jeremy Piven Poisoned? Sounds Fishy, Say Experts

• None other than the National Fisheries Institute has responded to Entourage actor Jeremy "Thermometer" Piven's claims that he has suffered from mercury poisoning.

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Dear Vivienne Westwood: SATC Probably Isn't That Into You

• Vivienne Westwood wants to write the sequel to the Sex and the City movie. Westwood, who critiqued Patricia Field's costumes, is "obsessed" and has allegedly contacted producers and SJP about the scenario. [Telegraph]

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More High Heels & Hijinks To Come

Oh dear: Stylist Patricia Field claims the Sex And The City sequel is imminent: "[Creator] Michael Patrick King himself told me it's gonna happen. But I haven't really received any official information yet." [MTV.com]

Shoes, Self-Help & Catfights: What Women Want In Movies

This was the year, we're told, that Hollywood started making movies for women... as long as they were totally inane. And next year, as Self-Help Cinema launches, they'll be even more vapid!

Fox Rips Off SATC with "Bitches"

It’s not really surprising that Fox is doing a SATC ripoff, but it is a little shocking that they named it “Bitches.”

The Sex And The City Bus Tour

"I can’t imagine anyone would repeat the trip, or recommend it to a friend. And I guess that many of us will keep it as a guilty secret, like drunkenly snogging the doorman." [Vanity Fair]

The Skin We're In

A new survey commissioned by ZO Skin Health reports that 43% of women think about their skin "always or often," which is more often than they think about their relationship status. Translation: we're either sad sacks who fret about our love lives or vain creeps obsessed with looking young. [UPI]

Ellen To Mariah: Admit It, You're Knocked Up

• Did Ellen DeGeneres try to trick Mariah Carey into admitting she's pregnant? Mariah was a guest on Ellen's show, and after Ellen asked and got a vague response, she busted out the champagne, saying, "You don't have to answer that. Let's just toast with champagne." Mariah got flustered and said, "I can't believe you did this to me, Ellen," and pretended to sip the bubbly. Knocked up? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Someone's not pregnant: Sarah Jessica Parker in the Sex And The City sequel. Carrie won't be having a kid. "It doesn't seem as if that's going to be a choice she'll make… Michael (Patrick King, director) and I never talk about it. That doesn't mean that won't be part of the story. We just haven't figured it out. It feels a little bit manipulative to toss that into the mix, because she seems so pointed in a different direction." [Daily Express]
• Kanye West and hot hot model Sessilee Lopez: Is it on? [The Sun]
• Madonna has hired a specialist to help her "exorcise the memories" of her ex-husband, Guy Ritchie, from her home. The technique seems to involve throwing shit away. [Mirror]
• Madonna and A-Rod are in Miami together right now, having just landed in a private jet. [TMZ]

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Girly Golddiggers Are Reeling From The Recession

"Everyone is looking for handsome, rich and charming men but there are less and less of them to go around." So says one of the comely women profiled by the NY Post's Page Six Magazine who openly admits to hunting a rich man — and, these days, failing. The money isn't flowing and as a result, neither are the free drinks and fancy dinners that a certain subset of beautiful women, in time-honored fashion, take as their due. What's weird about it is that admitting this doesn't seem to embarrass them at all. More »

Contrary To Popular Belief, Movies Made By Women Make Big Money

Remember last fall when Warner Brothers chief Jeff Robinov issued a studio-wide freeze on movies with female leads, under the rationale that those films do not bring in any money? Well if he looked at looked at the hard data, like Women & Hollywood Melissa Silverstein did for the Women's Media Center, Robinov would have found that movies with women, like the box office-bursting Mamma Mia! (with Mamma Meryl) do make good cash…when they're allowed to be made in the first place. More »

Sex And The Schadenfreude?

Candace Bushnell's weekly satellite radio talk show, Sex, Success and Sensibility, has been canceled. Portfolio's Jeff Bercovici reports that Sirius XM had offered to renew Bushnell's contract, but only if she took a 50% pay cut. Her name has already been "scrubbed" from the company's website. [Portfolio]

Jessica Biel Designs Handbags For Justin Timberlake

• Rumor has it that Jessica Biel's gonna be designing bags for squeeze Justin Timberlake's William Rast line. "Sources say she has already started sketching designs for a limited edition collection. Isn't it a coincidence how much hidden design talent there is in Hollywood? [Daily Express]
• "In times of uncertainty, I think the wrap dress becomes an even more important friend. It's flattering. And wrapping is a reassuring thing." Why yes, it is, Diane Von Furstenberg! [Newsweek]
• Naomi Campbell is doing a duet and music video with Indian star Ashkay Kumar - in Hindi. [VogueUK]
• Apparently Manolo Blahnik can take or leave Sex And The City. He's never seen it! [New York Post]

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Is American Apparel In Another Uncomfortable Position?

• More hot water for American Apparel: an accountant is suing for wrongful termination, saying he was fired for refusing to cook the books. [WSJ]
• A Bosnian company is starting an Obama-inspired suit line. Now is he obliged to wear one?! [Breitbart]
• Joan Rivers critiques Michelle's "horrible dress." In fairness, she's totally ambushed by a TMZ reporter. [TMZ]
• Mark Wahlberg says his CK co-moddle Kate Moss looked "like his nephew." “I mean she’s beautiful – she’s a very pretty nephew – but I’m more into curvy women.” In fairness, she started it. [The Sun]

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Oprah Finds Her Man

• That guy Oprah was leaning on during the Election Day rally in Chicago — whom she thanked on her show, saying, "I don't know who you are, but thank you, Mr. Man!" — is named Sam Perry. He worked at the Silicon Valley Obama office. [Breitbart]
• Mr. Man will be on Oprah's show today! [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Speaking of Oprah, she may have delivered between 400,000 and 1.6 million primary votes for Obama. Someone better get to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom! [Newser, via ABC News]
• Will.i.am has a video celebrating Barack Obama's win, and it will debut on Oprah's show today. [USA Today]
• Radiohead's Thom Yorke was so psyched Bush is leaving office, he posted a free remix of a song in his website. [Rolling Stone]
• People waiting in a U.S. Customs queue at Kennedy Airport on Tuesday booed Naomi Campbell as she skipped the line, escorted by a passport-screening officer. Weren't they afraid of hurled cell phones? [Rush & Molloy]
• You know how Kim Cattrall said there would be a Sex And The City sequel? Sarah Jessica Parker says, "I'm thrilled to know Kim is excited but all the deals are not yet done." Me-ouch. [Daily Express, People]

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Six Degrees Of Carrie Bradshaw's Vagina

There was a time when a place in Carrie Bradshaw's vagina was the most coveted hot spot in premium cable. Honest-to-goodness stars like Vince Vaughn and Mikhail Baryshnikov visited Carrie's wonder spot, but it's not what you could do for Bradshaw's bits, it's what Bradshaw's bits could do for you. Just like Courtney Love, who famously said, "I have a magic pussy, If you fuck me, you become a king," doing time in Carrie's nether regions is a one-way ticket to televised success in 2008. Carrie Bradshaw's boyfriend is officially the new Jerry Seinfeld's girlfriend, as TV stars like Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, and SatC's own Kristin Davis did it with Jerry before they hit the big time. After the jump, find out the four men who originally appeared as Carrie's beaux and are now part of the most critically acclaimed shows of the year. More »

Sex Writers Are Experiencing The Dark Side Of The Carrie Bradshaw Effect

Salon's Tracy Clark-Flory is wondering why a lot of sex writers are getting fired during these rough economic times. Paraphrasing the S.F. Chronicle's Violet Blue, Flory asks a bunch of sex writers, "If sex sells, why are sex writers getting the shaft?" More »

The Bushnell Administration

Candace Bushnell's interview yesterday for NPR's "On Point With Tom Ashbrook" was kind of cringe-inducing (start at like 30 mins for the worst of it.) Ostensibly, Bushnell was on to discuss her new novel, One Fifth Avenue — from which she reads various excerpts involving people with names like "Lola Fabricant" — but, not unreasonably, the host wanted to talk about how her SATC world will play in the new post-apocalyptic economy. Bushnell got wildly defensive, compared herself to Flaubert, and launched into a bunch of Palin-worthy tangents on McDonald's hamburgers, Gloria Steinem and many, many references to having paid her dues by not having cutlery until she was about 35. There's also a lot of strident interruption and pointed use of the interviewer's first name. "I feel a little bit like you're kind of missing the point of my work," she says sharply at 32 minutes. Gawd - Why can't everyone just accept that she's a serious "social satirist and anthroplogist?" [NPR]

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia Demonstrates Why Sex And The City Is Not Realistic

On last night's episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dee, who had recently watched Sex and the City: The Movie, decided that she wanted to escape the beer and stank of Paddy's Pub to live the fantasy lifestyle of drinking Cosmos with girlfriends in swanky bars while wearing expensive shoes. The only problem is that she has no girlfriends, no money for expensive clothes or restaurants, and she's actually a size 13 shoe, so they don't even make Manolos that fit her. She managed to convince her friend from drama school, Artemis, and the waitress from the coffee shop — who is in AA — to go out for drinks with her. The waitress ended up falling off the wagon, and Dee ended up falling in the middle of the street while trying to shoplift a pair of shoes about four sizes too small. Clip above.

If The Cliché Fits! Are We Actually 'Obsessed' With Shoes?

This short film, Ben Pietor's "It's All About the Shoes", just won the Red Ribbon at the Tropfest Film Festival. The film, about a shoe-obsessed woman who "meets her fate," is well done, but it got me thinking about women's alleged obsession with shoes. When I worked in an office, we used to sheepishly conceal the bags from the nearby outpost of a chainlet called "Shoegasm." (The name prompted one friend to quip that she was planning to open a business called "Daycare Center-gasm.") But, because buying shoes for women is supposed to be some kind of orgiastic loss of self-control, it kind of made sense. As a certain shoe-lover might say, I couldn't help but ask myself: are we really so obsessed with shoes, or have we just been told "women love shoes" so many times that we've come to believe it? More »

Fashion Show: Patricia Field For HSN

Pat Field's collection for HSN kind of makes your friend Sadie want to cry. It's just such a brazen cash-in on the dreams of young girls who should not be further encouraged to base their lives on the actions of a group of underwritten fictional characters. Yeah, you'll see pretty literal representations of all your fave SATC looks, and in a few weeks, legions of equally literal Carrie lookalikes determinedly trotting down the street clutching a Cosmo. The dresses average around $100, but, weirdly, you can buy them on installment. Because glam types like Carrie always spend beyond their means! Some of the pieces are genuinely cool - especially the accessories - but there are a lot of outfits that looked ludicrous even on SJP, and the transition to reality is not kind. A selection with commentary, by clicking on the picture at left. More »

Petcka, Petkiller

In testimony that began yesterday, a former baseball player-turned-actor who had a brief appearance on Sex and the City was accused of killing his girlfriend's cat because he was jealous. Joe Petcka is on trial for aggravated cruelty to animals for killing the cat, named Norman, in March of 2007. Petcka's former girlfriend claims that, on the night of Norman's death, Petcka accused her of loving the cat more than him. Norman was found dead under Altobelli's bedside table with broken teeth, broken ribs, a broken leg, a torn tongue, massive internal injuries including a chest cavity filled with blood. [MSNBC]